Seira jumps on top of her bed, alarms ringing through her head as she stares dumbly at the fire surrounding her. The heat tickles her skin, and she finds herself backing away to her wall to get away from it.

      She doesn’t mean to, but she breathes in and inhales smoke. Harsh coughs leave her mouth as she braces a hand on the ceiling and looks around. How did this happen? Where was— Minji. Did Minji ever come home from her solo schedule? She knew Jiwoo was supposed to be sleeping over at her boyfriend’s apartment.

      A lump forms in her throat, glancing from the window and her door. Her door was shut, and the fire was blocking it. There was no way she’d be able to get through it without being severely burned, if not dead. The window, however … she could jump down to her neighbor’s balcony and bang on the doors for help.

      She didn’t hesitate before heading to the window, going to unlock the locks and pausing when she realized they were already unlocked. When she hears a loud roar of the fire and feels the heat licking her back, she pushes it out of her mind and pulls up the window.

      Seira sticks her head out the window first to get away from the smoke, finally being able to see the flashing red and blue lights and a huge red fire truck. Without hesitation, she starts yelling out and waving one of her arms outside the window to capture someone’s attention. Once they finally spot her, she allows her arms a break and hunches over the railing, looking at how far she has to go to get to the ground.

      She can hear yelling over the roar of the fire, but she can hardly understand what they’re saying as the heat licks her back. She pushes herself closer to the railing, turning her head slightly to see the fire growing in her room, now surpassing the mountain of plushies she had in the corner of her room. She whimpers at the thought of losing all of her belongings before she forces herself over the railing and sits on it, arms shaking in anticipation.

      When she looks back down, she can see the ladder being propped up against the side of the building, two firefighters already half-way on top. She wonders what would happen if the fire got to her first or if she decided to not wait for them and just jump. Well, obviously, death, but what else? Would everything just end and fade to black? Did she want that more than surviving? Was Hina thinking the same thing right on the cusp of death?

      Seira has already made her mind up by the time the firefighter reaches her, leaning forward to leap over the gap between the balconies to reach them. As she’s led to the ground, all she could do was keep glancing back to her window that was now fully engulfed in flames.

      Warmth envelopes her into a hug, catching a glimpse of an orange blanket wrapped around her shoulders as the firefighters direct her to one of the ambulances. She can see where her neighbors are all crowded around, obviously evacuating once the fire alarm went off. As it clicks in her head, she looks around the parking lot through a sea of red and blue for either of her members. Before she can look any further, hands are guiding her to sit down on the edge before a bright light is abruptly shined in her eyes. She exhales, eyes trailing past the light and to the burner building.

      The fire must have started in their dorm. Did she accidentally leave the stove on before she fell asleep? She couldn’t remember much besides feeling too tired from dance practice and passing out without so much as removing her makeup and doing her skincare routine.

      “Miss?” She manages to catch, eyes zoning back in to look at the paramedic in front of her. “She must be in shock,” he tells the other one beside him, checking her blood pressure.

      Probably. “I’m just thinking,” she mutters, not really wanting to raise her voice any louder. “Where are my roommates?” She then gasps, speaking louder this time with wide eyes, “We have two cats—”

      The paramedics exchange a glance uneasily at her words and Seira whimpers in a mixture of disbelief and grief, pressing a palm to her head, “How did this happen— why, why—” Her head is trying to wrap around the situation, not understanding how this happened. She feels like crying but it feels like the fire burned them all out of her. She feels dry. Were they expecting her to cry? If she doesn’t cry, will they think she did this on purpose? Ugh—

      “Calm down,” the man in front of her rushes to say, “We haven’t heard anything. Your blood pressure is 176/90, a bit high but expected. Do you feel dizzy?” She shakes her head, still holding her hand to forehead. “Good, stay sitting just in case. Let me go ask the firefighters if they’ve rescued anyone else while my partner stays here with you.”

      Seira looks up in slight surprise and watches as he walks away before her eyes move to the side where the other much younger paramedic now stands before her. He seems startled at her sudden attention before standing up straight, clearing his throat, “Uh, did you get hurt anywhere?”

      She stares at him, wondering how she was just in her bed an hour ago, asleep, and now she was here, sitting in front of this paramedic who asks her stupid questions like if she’s hurt when Kori and Kio were hurt or burned to ashes. She shudders at the image crossing her mind, immediately trying to think of something else. Maybe it’d do her some good to answer his questions.

      “No,” she glances down at herself as if she could see through the blanket wrapped around her. “I don’t feel any—” A series of coughs interrupts her sentence and she immediately turns her head to the side, facing away from him. She leans over slightly, bringing a hand to her chest as the paramedic’s hand rests his hand on her back and a water bottle is shoved into her line of sight. She grabs it, taking a sip to placate him only to almost choke it right back up and he cautiously pats her on the back. “Um.”

      “Maybe it’s best if you get checked out further at the hospital,” he looks around for his partner, “Let me— Oh! Mina! Mina here will stay with you while I go find— yeah, bye.” He practically passes her off to the female paramedic, an irritated expression falling on her face as the lady watches him run away.

      The lady, Mina, sighs, looking back over to Seira who clears her hoarse throat, feeling awkward after seeing the way the paramedic wanted to get away so bad, “You don’t have to watch me, I’m not a child and I’m not going to just drop dead. I’m fine, hardly a scratch on me,” she raises her arms up as if showcasing herself.

      “You’ll still probably have to get checked out, probably by your company’s orders,” Mina says and Seira blinks. Mina laughs, “I know who you are, my sister is a big fan. Your face is everywhere in her room.”

      “Oh,” Seira feels like she’s watching herself through a screen, forcing a smile that didn’t look forced as she now knew the paramedic recognized her. “Thank you, what’s her name?”

      “Sohyun,” Mina smiles, not noticing her unease. “She’s nineteen, you two are close in age, right?” Her gaze turns away from Seira, “Hey, those are your members, right?”

      Seira whirls around, looking behind her to see Minji and Jiwoo standing around, a startled look on Jiwoo’s face. She must’ve just came back from her boyfriend’s apartment, her dress still on while Minji wore her usual attire of baggy pants and a crop top. She feels her shoulders drop in relief when she spots the two white cats in Minji’s arms, perfectly unharmed but very startled from the amount of people around them.

      She begins to walk at a fast pace towards them, eyes wide, “Are you guys OK?” She looks down at the two cats who start to meow once they see her, and Minji eagerly holds her arms out for her to grab them. She holds them both in her arms, pressing kisses over their heads and sighing in relief. “God, I had no idea where any of you were.”

      “We’re fine,” Minji says, looking around, “They must’ve managed to get out somehow because I found them by a bush.”

      Seira has no idea how that happened, but she’s grateful either way. She presses another kiss to both of their heads, “I had to climb out the window, but I’m OK, too,” she presses her lips together, not bothering to glance up at either of the two girls. They don’t say anything and she inhales, turning around to walk back to the ambulance. Mina is still standing there, and she wonders if she was waiting for her to come back.

      “So glad those two made it out,” Mina nods her head at the cats, but keeps a careful distance away, “Sorry, I’m allergic to them. Sohyun loves them, though.”

      Seira wonders why she keeps bringing her sister up so much, but then she considers that if it were Ryuhei’s idol, she’d do the same. “I assume you don’t have any,” she replies, glancing down at the cats in her arms and then around her. She can see a few familiar faces in the crowd around her, but she can tell they’re too preoccupied by learning what happened and if everyone was OK to know she was right there in front of them. “Do you have your phone? I can make a video saying hello to your sister if you want,” she smiles, not knowing why she feels obligated to despite knowing she didn’t have to. She just didn’t want her to go home and tell her sister that she met her idol and then not have any proof– plus, it’d look bad if she didn’t at least say hi or sign something, right?

      “Oh, you don’t have to!” Mina says, and then quickly adds like Seira was about to retract her offer, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. “But that’s super sweet of you, thank you.” She eagerly pulls up the camera app, “I’ll record because you’re holding the cats. And… Recording.”

      “Hi, Sohyunie,” Seira coos, smiling into the camera as she waves Kio’s paw, “I just met your super nice sister and she couldn’t stop talking about you. I hear you’re my fan, and you like cats, so I wanted you to meet Kori and Kio properly. Thank you for supporting Mirai–” Because she always has to say Mirai, not me. This was not a solo thing, this was a team thing. “And for loving me!” She did it, anyway. “Bye,” she waves Kori’s paw this time.

      “That’s so sweet, thank you!” Mina smiles widely, “You know–” She stops herself, spotting something behind Seira, “Oh, I think they’re wanting to take you to the hospital now.”

      Seira’s front slightly drops, glancing behind her to see the paramedics from before and one of Mirai’s managers, Gyuri, approaching them. “Really, I don’t think that’s necessary, I am completely fine. And I can’t leave the cats! They have nowhere to go, now,” she frowns at Gyuri once she’s within earshot.

      “You just got rescued from a fire, you’re going,” Gyuri says with a tone that suggests Seira should shut up while she’s ahead.

      Seira, for once, decides to listen and at least not argue with her. “OK, but where are you going to take them?”

      “I’ll take them home with me until we get you guys situated somewhere else,” Gyuri sighs, bringing a hand to her forehead in frustration. “For now, do as the doctor and nurses say.”

“What did the doctors say?” Kaede asks over the phone later that morning. It was now three in the morning, and Seira had just gotten to her sister’s apartment in Seoul after leaving the hospital. After being around so many people today when she didn’t have to, and being in the place she hates the most for the better of the night, she just wanted to be alone. By then, her sister had woken up in America where she was on tour and told her to just go to her apartment with the cats. Her mother, who learned about the fire through the media, freaked out and spam called her while she was talking to the doctor. Ryuhei had texted her a simple ‘u ok’ and she replied with a thumbs up. She loves their relationship. She was almost waiting on a text from her twin.

      Seira’s chest hurt. She doesn’t know if it’s from thinking of Hina or from the smoke. “Um…” She mutters, turning to look at her reflection in the mirror only to realize what she had unconsciously done the moment she arrived. Every mirror in the apartment was covered with a blanket or towel. It was better that way. “Get plenty of rest and sleep. So what I already knew.”

      “Oh.”

      For a moment, it seems like Kaede is about to ask what symptoms she has, worry more. But she doesn’t and says, “I have to get ready, we landed in LA late last night for the concert. Love you, bye!” She makes an obnoxious kissing noise before ending the call.

      Seira rolls her eyes, she hates when people hang up on her. So rude. She switches off the bathroom light and walks into the hallway to her bedroom, usually here more than Kaede is. It has less stuff than her room in the dorm did, but she also has her more valuable things here. Kaede’s apartment complex was heavily guarded, no one could get in or out without the key. Most of the people residing in the building were elderly people or other celebrities.

      Still, she triple checks all three locks on the front door, as well as the windows. When she does the windows, she looks outside. She can see the frozen pool from her window, snow decorating the ground and trees, and every street lamp works perfectly well. No one is outside. She envies them for having a proper sleep schedule. Earlier today had been one of the few days she was able to sleep early.

      Her phone lights up from a notification, her head turning slightly to read what it says. The message is from Jiwoo, and she’s wondering if she’s home already. She stares down at her screen until it darkens and she turns her head back to the window. Her phone rings this time and she sighs, fully turning her body away from her phone. She lets it go to voicemail.

      Her phone chimes again. She huffs, turning to pick up her phone and finally respond to Jiwoo. However, there’s only one text from Jiwoo from three minutes ago and a phone call from an unknown blocked number from a minute ago and a text from the same number a couple of seconds ago. Before she can fully read the message, another text pops up from the number.

It’s Siwon.

      A short exhale of excitement makes her sit up straight, heart pounding in her chest as she calls him back. She clears her throat right before the call is answered.

      “Did you find anything?” Seira asks, heart caught in her throat. Every time Siwon calls, she gets this feeling of hope in her chest, and every time he calls, she’s let down. She tries to not do that anymore, but it’s hard.

      “Have you heard of the website Loom?” Siwon’s voice is raspy as always, presumably from his smoking habit. She can hear him inhale from over the phone and rolls her eyes, but understands. She could go for a cigarette right now if she wasn’t so worried about her vocal chords. If she didn’t have to, she’d probably smoke like Siwon did.

      “No,” she frowns, wondering where he was going with this. “What is it?”

      “At first glance, it seems like a simple messaging site, also an app, by the way,” he coughs for a few seconds more than normal, clearing his throat after, “Sorry. Anyways, I’m sure the owner of the website didn’t mean for it to be anymore than that, but the problem is the users of Loom. It seems to be where sasaengs go to share their pictures and videos freely.” When she doesn’t say anything, merely putting him on speaker and searching up the website herself on a private browser, he continues, “Everything went as schedule for Hina until she started going to Itaewon every week.”

      Seira’s brows furrow, “Itaewon? What was she doing there? Was anyone with her?” Besides the sasaengs, she adds to herself.

      “She’d go to the same complex building and stay there for a couple of hours until leaving late in the middle of the night or early morning.” Siwon lists off. “They don’t know what she was doing inside but… Well, I'll send you the texts. It's not a good place, Seira. There are bad people there, rapists, murderers, but there are also drug dealers so that's a little less terrifying but not comforting.”

      The world seems to come to a still around her as she reads the screenshots he sent her, no longer hearing Siwon in case he was still speaking. What the hell had Hina been doing around a bunch of criminals? She knew she wouldn't touch a murderer or rapist, probably preferring to kill them instead. She didn’t think she was that stupid to get involved with drugs, especially with her being an idol and how it would affect the rest of her own group and her sisters. Maybe she had been meeting someone? But she wouldn’t have gotten involved with an addict, either. She knows she was trying to find an excuse to defend why hes was there, but it was better than believing the alternative. But maybe it was the only option there was.

      “So she really overdosed and killed herself?” Seira cuts him off in the middle of whatever he was saying, her voice quiet.

      Siwon doesn’t speak for a long moment. “It seems like it, kid. I’m sorry. I know this wasn’t what you were wanting to hear, but at least now maybe you’ll have some closure.”

      Closure.

      She didn’t want closure, she wanted to find out the truth. Closure meant leaving her sister behind. She had already done it once with their father almost four years ago, but she still had her sister then. They were each other’s other half— they had known each other before Seira was herself. And now she doesn’t know what to do without her. It’s like she’s just going through the motions of her day without actually feeling anything, or caring enough to acknowledge it. Sometimes it was better that way.

      Everyone had essentially called her crazy for thinking her sister didn’t kill himself, no matter how many times she insisted that she knew her twin. They chalked it up to grief, not suggesting but demanding that she sees a therapist. Minji and Jiwoo had told their managers, who in turn told Woohyuk, Delphi Entertainment’s CEO. Woohyuk brought her in for a meeting with Gyuri and told her to get her shit together before they were forced to go to extreme measures. She doesn’t see how she was that bad, but whatever. It’s not like she was going out on live telling fans.

      It’s only when her phone falls on her face that she realizes how badly her hands are shaking, and she can now hear Siwon still talking. Talking about what, she has no idea– but it’s not helping.

      “Thanks, Siwon,” she cuts him off, voice quiet. He goes silent. “I’ll send the money in a minute. Bye.” She hangs up without another word, not even thinking that it was hypocritical of her. She turns her phone completely off, placing it in the drawer besides her and lays back down. She tries to grasp her remaining control over her emotions, but the sudden news paired with the intense fear she felt tonight was too much.