this is the only place I can post honestly, because nobody knows this thing exists.
have you heard the news? did you roll your eyes in contempt, or did you, just for a second, feel protective like you used to, and hope that I survive this?
how has the hole you left in my life landed me here?
eternally knowing that I can love someone else and even mend an explosively abusive relationship with them into something semi consistent and healthy, and it will never even begin to scratch the surface of the love I felt for you.
what have I done? I would give anything to be held by you and smell you one more time. I was so angry at you for so long but now that I have seen how bad I actually was and forgiven you, all I feel is lost.
I died the day you left, and I will never stop wandering the earth as your ghost, yearning to forget you, replace you, or get even a single second of acknowledgement out of you, to know that i existed in your life and you will never forget me.
