so darkness I became

All previous anger over his former colleagues ‘death’ shattered when he finally realized this was another battle they were all wrapped up in again. To think he’d see something In reflection of the first repeat itself so soon– be apart of it– so profoundly should frighten him more. But James’ mind was in soldier mode. Pupils dialated in adrenaline when he made sights on Frank. 

“Fuck– I’m here,” he trapped his bicep to anchor the dizzy feeling he assumed Frank was dealing with. “You probably have a concussion– shit…” He knelt down with a groan of frustrations to the cuts in his back pulling the skin there tightly. Fingers quickly moved around the back of Frank’s skull to see if there was anything bleeding. “We need to get back out there. Where’s your wand? You know I’m shit at healing spells– can you stand? Let me help…” 

He was fine, he just needed a minute. Or so he told himself to find something to focus on in the middle of the pain and confusion. The buzzing was getting louder and the headache just getting worse, but Frank knew it would only take a moment to feel better. It wasnt the first time something like this happened, it certainly wouldn't the last, only that it didn't make it any better. He could hear James in the distance and yet he could feel him close to him.

There were words he managed to catch, enough to nod and try to get himself back on his feet. At least he hadn't lost his wand; as if that was the only thing he needed to get back. But Frank wasn't going to let something like that defeat him, not when he had gone through worse and their friends needed them. "We should go back," he said, completely ignoring the healing part. They didn’t have time to waste. Voldemort was there somewhere and they all were in danger.

She knew Frank well enough to know that in a situation like this (though when had they ever faced a situation like this one?) he needed someone to be there. He was one of the strongest people she knew, one of the best people she knew, but that didn’t stop him from breaking down. With what he’d had to face, she couldn’t blame him for having an emotional response. But still, she was more than grateful to see his face on the other side of his door. She had been worried he wouldn’t answer, worried that he wouldn’t see her.

Marlene acknowledged the shaking of his head with a gentle incline of hers. It wasn’t beyond her for her to be kind and with the state that she could see Frank was in, now seemed like a time to embrace kindness. “It’s alright, we don’t have to.” She spoke softly, pushing into the flat and shutting the door firmly behind her. She wasn’t going to let Frank tell her to leave because for the first time, she found herself certain that she was right and he wasn’t. Yet it was still with gentle hands that she pulled the bottle from his hands, her eyes full of pity as she set it on the ground before compassion swelled and she hugged him. She held him tight, wanting to express what she struggled to speak with words. How much she loved him, how important he was, how she was certain it would all be alright in the end. “We’ll fix this. I promise, I’ll find a way to fix this.”

There was no way he could fight Marlene. She was the only one he could surely consider family, and the one he knew he wasn't going to lose. Hell, even his mother was so upset that she didn't want to hear anything from him. For all he knew, Alice and Augusta were best friends now and they could very well plan his real death. After all, they couldn’t be accused if they murdered a person who was supposedly dead already. He knew the law, he had studied it for years, and he didn't need to repeat himself that he was in trouble.

And he could keep thinking about everything that could, and probably would, go wrong now that he was back, but it wasnt the moment. Next morning he would deal with the world, he would try to see what was there to fix and what he had to let go for good. It was obvious that he had lost Alice, his friends, his job; he only didn't know what to do to make it better. He wrapped his arms around Marlene’s slim figure and nodded, resting his head on her shoulder. They couldn't fix it, no matter what he did. "You shouldn’t be here." It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the comfort, but if people saw her there, then they would know she had helped him. Janus was still safe and he didn't want to make any other mistake.

{ edgarsanatomy }

“Language, Amelia, babies can hear these things,” Edgar hissed in Amelia’s direction, patting solidly at Frank’s back before releasing him, the relief at this child having a (somewhat) positive male role model in their life tempered only by the fact that Frank had a very long way to go before his life decisions could be considered suitable for a father. Faking your own death to solve your problems was a terrible example to set.

He patted consolingly at the other man’s arm with a soft, “I wouldn’t be positive about that, Frank, but we’ll cross that bridge as we come to it. And I’m just saying, Amelia, that if Diggory were here you wouldn’t have seen a man who is so blatantly emotionally unavailable and socially stunted and thought you could change him. You were obviously damaged by his decision to leave us and you’re taking it out on the rest of us and yourself by inflicting Sneep on us.” Edgar exhaled sharply, as if the long tirade he’d just gone on had taken a lot out of him before adding, furiously, “Nobody wears all black to a gala. There’s something deeply wrong with him.”

( @wearybxnes )

She was pregnant, obviously, because she was glowing. Amelia stared blankly at Frank for a long few moments, having to seriously contemplate on how someone who had thought up such an elaborate fake-death scheme could be so dumb. “That is not even acceptable as an answer, Frank. If I’m glowing, it’s because I’m just that angry at you both right now.” He was right on one end, at least: it wasn’t like people could hate Frank Longbottom any more than they already did. A part of her felt bad for him because of it, but that was his own situation. He could deal with the aftermath of it.

Then, of course, Edgar had to speak again, and her eyes narrowed. “First of all, that makes no sense whatsoever. He left when I was a baby, Ed. I don’t even like the guy. He can kiss my arse.” Honestly, fuck Robert Diggory Bones for leaving. Amelia wouldn’t give two shits if she never saw him again. “And second of all, I”m wearing all black, you dingus. Way to insult my clothing, thanks a lot.” She looked out the window of the carriage, huffing and clenching her jaw.

( @unmillierdevies )

"Yeah! Language, Amelia. The babies can hear you and they shouldn't learn such words." Frank was obviously taking the whole adopting the Sneep babies thing a little bit too seriously, but he wanted to do something good and positive with his life. With Janus and his big fat lie, he felt like a terrible person and he wanted to make it up to all of them. Sure this wasn't the way to start a family, yet he wanted to help Amelia and Edgar with this. And in all the very selfish reason, he wanted to protect Marlene's happiness as well.

This was bad and they were the only ones to blame. Amelia was carrying a baby, she needed peace, and they were upsetting her. "We just want the best for you. I think you're glowing and it has nothing to with this. Right, Edgar? Isn't she glowing? Doesn’t she look beautiful?" His mother had always told him that he had to be nice with women. He was too drunk for that conversation that he barely understood a word; he only nodded and agreed with Edgar because he was his friend and he really had nothing to lose. "He wears black all the time, kid you not. But you look lovely, Amelia, you really do." It was such a bad decision, telling a pregnant woman that there was something wrong with her, and he didn't want to piss her off ever more.

Hogwarts May 21st, 1982 11:04 pm @unmillierdevies

There were few that were left at Hogwarts, the greater population finding themselves to be healers or patients, those still returning from the Lestrange Manor to see who else they could find under the collapse, at least, this was all Hestia knew of the matter, all heard from those that only just returned, those that debated a safe house best for them away from the castle, and Hestia waited with them until they left, knowing the kitchens of Hogwarts well enough, that she remembered the tricks the House Elves would share, knowing where to find the food that would have stayed for months at a time, and it was this she shared with the others, as well as blankets ( which she couldn’t conjure very well, having to ask another to cast a transfiguration spell, as the time she tried out the spell, she more found herself creating a pillow with a tail, and times like these, there wasn’t an essay that could aid her in bringing up the grade, only her figuring out the best possible route around the issue at hand ). Being a helping hand among those that found their way to Hogwarts was something of nature, something that these people deserved, a kind thing in a war, it was a reminder that they still needed such things. Beyond this, such actions also doubled as distraction, Hestia waiting by the entrance of Hogwarts as if in waiting, asking those she recognized if they saw her father, her sisters, if they heard from them.

Part of her was waiting for the collapse, for the realization that those who saved her friends, those she knew were so close to death, some already meeting it, enough so that the focus on her parents and sisters only grew, that her father could have been among them at the Ministry.

She has been sitting long enough at the doors of Hogwarts, those that welcomed the newcomers and the only way for the others to leave, if they would arrive, she would see them, long enough for a few to ask her what she was doing there, sitting still, for her, at the least, though her hand tapped against her knee and her fingers tended to run through her hair, though it was already tangled. When one paused beside her, she asked them with a thick voice, “Would you like to sit?” She wasn’t the first to wait by the doorways.

Her gaze didn’t meet their’s, asking anyway, her fingers, always moving, now worked to brush away some dirt on her sleeve. Hestia, while she didn’t fight, she wasn’t about as clean as the others, partly due to what was left of Diagon Alley, to her actions in Hogsmeade and its evacuation and was about to wonder if one would be able to take her back, her parents would be able to find her there, she would be able to find her notes. ( If one thing was true, it was that she hated to live alone, rather, it scared her in a way, to go into a room and feel only something cold, to not know laughter down the hallway or a bit of dirt upon the floor due to all the feet it had met, to know silence was something worse than many terrors. It was to take away any future she could imagine if her family wasn’t there, her opening the front door and them to be present. )

There had been blood on his hands, but he had no idea whose was it anymore. He had washed his hands two, three times, maybe four, and even though it was all gone, he still could feel it on his palms. He remembered the last Janus meeting, they all had been fighting like always, Rabastan had been there, rolling his eyes and looking as annoying as ever. Frank had told himself that he had to be patient, that he had to accept the help and just look the other way, let Rabastan be himself and just stay out of his way. Because perhaps he had not liked him at first, questioning why a Death Eater like him with the family he had, would want to join Janus, but he came around eventually. Rabastan had been an important part of Janus, he hadn’t been a friend but he had been an ally. And it hurt, the memory of his death forever engraved on his mind.

He didn't keep many memories of Gideon; they had never been friends, just fellow Order members. But he had always been a great man, brave, strong, and all the things Frank had never been. In some way, he had looked up to the older man. He had changed after Fabian's death, they all had after the battle, and Frank could say he know much about it. He had left the Order, he had never been close to Gideon, yet his death was just a terrible thing. He was a good man, he had a family, a future, and now he was gone. It wasn't fair, and Frank didn't know how to deal with everything he was feeling, wanting to become numb so he could think logically and find a way to fix it. But he couldn't. There was no way to fix this.

And he couldn't stay there, feeling useless because he had zero healing training and people weren’t really that fond of him, so it didn't matter what he told them, it wouldn’t matter. He had heard about the safe houses, deciding that Arabella's was a neutral place where he could go and stay for a few days, if only before deciding if he should follow Marlene or just try to find a way to help her. He wasn't happy, not even close, knowing that his best friend was in such trouble.

At the moment he found himself walking out of Hogwarts, a gentle voice stopped him and she looked down at the young woman. He cared about everyone in Janus, trying to make sure they all were safe, and Hestia was just one of those he couldn't help but wanting to protect at all costs. He nodded and sat next to her. "How are you doing?" There was no obvious injury, she seemed to be in one piece, and he felt a bit better. "Is there anything you need?"

Lestrange Manor May 21st, 1982 @unmillierdevies

“FRANK!” It was torn from his chest before he had a chance to get up. Rabastan was dead. AH!! The pain of it hit him like a freight train, but he had to get up. They had to fight– get back out there. “FRANK!” He scrambled up, coughing up a little blood from the harsh landing to the ground had him biting his tongue. A small limp hit his stride, but he knew his old Auror comrade had been hit with the spell too. James wasn’t going to leave to fight until he was back by his side. 

Silence. The world had disappeared for a moment, his mind blank and he didn't move. Frank could hear his breathing somewhere, and there was another voice, he just simply blocked it. There was pain, a metallic taste in his mouth, and his legs weren't responding. Rabastan was dead and Voldemort was back, that didn’t make any sense to him. Slowly, as coming back to earth, Frank opened his eyes and sat up, the pain intensifying, and his eyes landed on James. "We should--" He couldn't focus on anything else but the buzzing in his ears.

Home of Arabella Figg

May 22, 1982

@unmillierdevies

Millicent was pacing again. Whenever her mind was moving too fast or her nerves were getting the best of her, the only thing she could think to do was pace until there was a hole in the floor. Poor Arabella’s carpet… Millicent would probably have to pay for it to be replaced by the time she leaves and heads back to the Ministry.

The constant waiting around was doing nothing for Millicent. The house was quiet and she was alone with her thoughts for far too long- she needed a distraction. With a huff, she walked into the kitchen and began to make herself a cup of tea, and then remembered a familiar face she stole a glance of earlier- Frank. He was friendly enough, and a member of Janus… Maybe she could make the most of her stay here by being in his company.

She made enough tea for two, and set out scrounging the house for Frank. When she finally found him after a few minutes of searching, she let out a small sigh of relief before holding up the cups and saying, “I hope you like tea. I made enough for the both of us.” She flashed him a warm smile while she sat down across from him, crossing her legs and taking a sip before asking, “How are you holding up?”

They had failed. Those months fighting, going behind everyone's back, lying to his own wife; it hadn't mattered at all, not with Voldemort back. They should have done something, anything to stop this madness. Now Rabastan and Gideon were dead, two brave man who had fought for their beliefs and died defending them.

He saw them every time he closed his eyes and he could still hear Alice's asking Gideon to stay with her. It had been heartbreaking. It was a nightmare. This wasn't supposed to happen. And now they all knew Marlene and Severus were part of Janus, they knew many of them were, and Frank didn't know what to do to fix it. But it wasn't the moment to think of a way to help Janus, because as much he believed in the cause, it didn't feel right.

Frank looked up at Millicent at the sound of her voice. "Thank you," he said as he accepted the cup and gave her a gentle smile. It seemed impossible to find the words to explain what he was feeling and thinking, he couldn't believe that it had happened. "I don't know what to say." He didn’t know anything about his mother, Marlene was gone and now he was trapped in there with many people who obviously disliked him. "I want to believe that tomorrow will be better, but I highly doubt it."

10:30am 21st May, 1982 Knockturn Alley @unmillierdevies

          A head poked around the corner of a stone building, not in the least bit sneaky - not when blonde locks and bright, blue eyes stood out so much against the dark rock. It looked left and right before turning back behind the corner.

          “All clear!” Holly blithely piped, reaching back for Frank’s hand and tugging him towards the street, keeping close to the wall despite her assurance that no one was around. “I don’t like this area that much. I’ve been here before - I’m sure of it. Probably before I lost my memories - my memories are coming back to me! Severus is helping me get them. There aren’t a lot, yet, but they’re there. Anyhow, I think I was here to get something for my flowers– an’t imagine what kind of things I’d get here for flowers– maybe I had poisonous flowers– I don’t keep poisonous flowers anymore, though– those hurt people.”

          A clatter of a rock in a nearby street was heard, causing Holly to leap in the air in fear and recoil behind Frank, clinging to his arm and burying her pale face in the space between his elbow and back. “Ooooh, noo.” She looked up at him, boring her teeth into her bottom lip uncertainly. “I don’t think I like danger as much as I used to. Sprout was a lot less scary.”

Holly was a ray of sunshine. The young woman was so pure, with a heart full of love and kindness that Frank was sure the world became a better place with every breath she took. So many times he had wondered why someone like her would choose to join Janus, but she made him believe that it was the right thing to do whenever he felt like losing hope. Her cheerful voice brought a smile to his lips. They were supposed to be sneaky and quiet, yet she was talking to him like they were just taking a walk in the park.

Frank didn't have the heart to remind her of their mission, not when she made him feel normal. Holly didn't stare at him, didn't judge him for his actions, she simply accepted his company and gave him her friendship in return. It was a blessing. "I'm glad you’re working on getting your memories back." Sadly, Frank couldn't say that he had met Holly before she lost her memories, but he was sure that she had been the angel she was now.

Frank stepped in front of holly to protect her in case there was someone there. It was a dangerous place, even so early in the morning. He shouldn't have asked her to come, yet she was one of the few people he trusted with his life and her bright mind was always helpful. He reached for his wand, ready to attack if he had to, but her comment made him smile again. "Danger is overrated if you asked me. There’s nothing wrong in wanting a quiet life." Well, Sprout could be quite scary when she wanted to. "Have you remembered anything else?" He was trying her best to keep her calm and distracted, so she wouldn’t worry about them getting in trouble. "You know, I've been thinking that it's time to find a better place to live. Maybe you can help me with that."