POETRY

-

Sometimes I dive too deep into a passerby’s eyes and it paints my day in their tinge.

But I always seem to remember yours when I look for them again.

Sometimes I tune into the tranquil hum of a person sitting next to me at a bus stop and the blurry melody sweeps through the streets on the way back home.

But I always seem to hear our song when I try recalling its simple strum.

Sometimes I get lost in conversation with a worker at a bookstore and its simplicity eclipses the raging stories of the novels I bought.

But I always seem to reel back to the comfort of our first talk every time I revisit that store.

Sometimes I brush through rushing crowds and I hold onto the perfume of someone who bumped into me and its trace dips into every breath I take.

But I always seem to relive the times when you pulled me close and let your scent stir into our nights whenever I get lost in swarms of people ever since that day.

-

I fall in love with strangers.

Or maybe I fall for the echoes of you that I look for in every person I see.

- BMF

// I fall in love with you,

even when my name becomes just a faint prickle that sighs into your nights every once in a while.

Cause how could I escape the day your keen eyes softened with the touch of mine,

it was the same day I found my favorite color.

I’ll carry you in my soul,

even when my kisses become just a memory that hovers upon your skin when your mind wanders into the past.

Cause how could I let the gentle curl of your smile slip away from my own,

they were the same lips that taught me how to breathe for the very first time.

I’ll keep you in my every thought,

even when the words that filled our skies drift to one I’m not a part of.

Cause how could I pick apart at the delicate prints of your fingers woven into me,

they were the same hands that made my heartbeat match their every caress.

-

You’ll always be a part of me,

even when I love under stars not built by your presence.

How could you not?

You were my first sky.

-

The enamored lilt of my touches were just a distraction from the soft hum of her voice that always seems to hover against your thoughts.

The wide-eyed warmth of my kisses settled atop the stubborn relics of the love she used to pour into your smile.

The foolish ebb of my soul into yours pushed her laugh deeper into your ache.

-

It was only when I held your heart within my arms that I understood.

I understood that it wasn’t your heart alone that’s carried in your chest.

Cause folded into its splinters are pieces of hers.

-

I learned to fall asleep to the serenity of its cadence, unaware that an echo of its rhythm thrums in another’s life.

I discovered the twinge of first heartbreaks while you were still stranded in yours.

-

I still live in your days,

She still lives in you.

I watched the stars dim with each word that tripped past your imprisoning lips.

I drowned in the waterfalls of moonlight that softened the edges of your twining hair.

I tangled my soul into your heart that used to beat for someone else.

—

It’s in the days

Where I vanished into your eyes and drowned in the thrill of falling,

with you holding another’s gaze in your thoughts.

It’s in the hours

Spent wrapped around your smile,

not knowing it was caused by another’s touch.

It’s in the love

I felt in every breath I took,

the care I put in every stroke against your cheek,

while your heart was yearning for a name that isn’t mine.

-

I still remember who we were that night I lost myself in you,

The night I lost you too. 

It’ll still flitter in the obscurity of the evening skies that our conversations used to nestle in,

Like each new romance parts the clouds hiding our dewy murmurs.

It’ll run through the ribbons of loneliness that lash at mimicking hearts,

Like each naive,lovestruck sigh is breathed into the nights spent in each others arms.

It’ll cling to the comfortable pauses between first kisses,

Like each brush of a gaze plays a memoir of our story behind strange eyes.

It’ll perch on the only wish after a tragedy,

Like each young heartache is a reenactment of our end.

It’ll fuss in the throe of woeful souls,

Like each glimmer of rare hope that rests in the broken-hearted is the shadow of us.

Cause even after we’re long gone, our love will still live on.

In blooming love and burning despair,

Our love will live on.

-

The first eyes I’ve ever looked into and saw the world shimmering in their depths.

The looping waves that skirt their edges, holding emotion so earnest they threaten to tumble into everything they touch.

The cloudy hesitance that frisks each curve of your gaze, whittling at the fringes of your wary heart.

The raging winds that sweep across your stares, giving me glimpses of the wistful thoughts that wander in your universe.

-

You are my once upon a time.

-

The realm I reenter whenever my mind tips too far back.

The taste of candied cigarettes that roam in our kisses.

The scent of your familiar perfume stirring in my clothes.

The traces of you that always seem to stick around, even when I withdraw from the teeming world behind your glance.

-

You were my first heartbreak.

-

The first arms I’ve suffered in,

after nights spent between them, thinking they were my only relief.

I If only I’d known the gash your touch would leave behind.

The first soul I’ve weakened to,

after ebbing my bliss into your every word, thinking they were my only anchor.

If only I’d known you’d leave me adrift in the offbeat longing that now resides in my every breath.

The first person I ever fell for,

after swearing to be love-proof.

The first pain I’ve truly felt,

after promising to be happy.

So I pressed my heart against your smile and dimmed the sheen that glints off the edges of my ache.

I chose to live in the warm feeling that used to swarm our every moment.

It’s the tired ganders shared under the soft glow of dawn and the stirring weight of your hand against my cheek.

The clumsy kisses during rushed mornings and the dreamy tilt of your tranquilizing lips.

The soft coddle of my head against your chest during lulling movie nights and the sedating beat of your heart.

-

Oh how I wish to melt into the wistful shift in your tone when you call out my name, like a hitch in your voice may disturb the teeming love it carries.

-

I get to choose which memories to keep, so I kept all of you, and I’ll choose all of you,

always.

When my roiling thoughts soften as they entangle themselves in your aimless midday rambles.

When your bashful smile seeps onto my face as I loosen your uncontrollable curls that twine around my fingers.

When our silence melds into the spaces between the stars as I settle upon your chest, every thump of your heart pulling you deeper into mine.

-

It’s the evenings of hesitant conversation that melt into nights consumed by swapping souls.

It’s the unsure glances shared in darkness that end in me falling for your eyes during the timid sunrise.

// allure of love

Would I have let my hands skitter across your chest knowing I’d never find a place in the heart it holds?

Would I have let myself flick through the depths held in your eyes knowing they’d forget how to hoard the yearn they once felt?

Would I have let your arms wrap around my soul knowing they’d learn to let go with the certainty that you once promised only lived in our love?

// would I have loved you if I knew?

That your lips would drag across my skin and sedate my loneliness, only to murmur a faint goodbye against my neck.

That every hushed feeling will again find its voice when I hear yours for the last time, like your laughter without me breathes life into the ache you stifled not long ago.

-

Now my fingers trace a hesitant dance around the dents caused by your empty love,

and every sound not coming from you falls foreign on my ears.

// I never thought it would ache this much, watching you move on.

You’ll look at me with glances so fragile, like one breath against your heart will wrench it back to the day it shattered between hands that promised nothing but daring love.

You’ll touch me with fingers so hesitant, like one familiar skim will place a person now ingrained in your despair between your arms.

You’ll love me with kisses so desperate, like one isn’t enough to smother the smiles left upon your lips by a mouth that whispered the words now living in the cracks of your soul.

/

That’s the thing with falling for a broken heart, you’ll learn the pensive pulse of its ache until it becomes a part of you too.

Cause in that tremor I heard the promises that were uttered to someone who once resided in its rhythm.

Did she ever flicker in your heart when you looked at me so softly and let your eyes meld into my nights?

Cause in that starry-eyed gaze I saw the memories that were shared with someone who once captivated your vision.

Did she ever trickle into your soul when you unveiled your solemnity and let it brush mine ever so often?

Cause in that hazy touch I held the pain that was felt for someone who once made it all fade away.

// I guess I wasn’t enough to make you forget her.

I’ll love you as the silence once loved the tilt of your lips whenever your thoughts would suffocate the space between us.

I’ll love you as the smolders once loved the vacancy of your lungs whenever you would glimmer the tip of your cigarettes on its gloom.

I’ll love you as the glint of the stars once loved your gaze whenever you would etch the anguish of your twinged heart against them.

~

And even when the world grows quiet around me and you are but a flicker in my soul, I’ll still love you.

The words you typed lured tears out of my eyes and scorched my heart with their nostalgic lilt, just for me to hold their touch against my soul and hope my hurt ignites the spark that once bloomed between us.

-

I still rerun our conversations in my mind, like an echo of the past begging to be let out of the restraints of longing that reside in my thoughts.

Every hitch of your breath, every lull in your talk still pulls me deeper into the times we had. They make me fall in love all over again, despite the tearing distance that fills the tenderness that we once had.

The affection that once nuzzled every word you said to me.

The smile that clung onto every sigh that escaped your mouth.

I wish I didn’t think about you.

The curls that looped helplessly across your forehead.

The eyes that held my world in their gaze.

//

I guess I’ll never really stop loving you.

Not with your laugh still ringing in my heart.

Not with your name still locked in my tongue.

I guess I won’t really forget you.

Not with your voice still lingering in my nights.

Not with your touch still grazing my soul.

I knew you couldn’t love me back, but am I so wrong to feel for you like you couldn’t for me?

My heart beats with an empty rhythm saved just for you.

My muse wanders without a companion in search for a place like you.

My want for you eclipses my need to breathe.