I’m Allowed To Do Crime All Month

Yall are actually hospitable to y'alls hookups??? I never even let mine use the bathroom with the door closed. I’ll be damned if I let a fag steal my $30 vitamin C serum.

either that or take them to a p*rk in the d*rk sis 🌃🌙👀

And have mosquito bites on my taint??? No thanks

Idk maybe because I’m from Florida… but I can’t nut unless there’s mosquitos succin on my gouché 😌

Idk why God keeps letting you survive hurricane szn

Mosqussies??? Excuse me?!

the actual best moment in all ANTM history

Someone needs to notify Ray Romano. 

republican bitches really be having babies with their military husbands at age 18, moving to the middle of fuck empty USA and being like "this... Is living ❤️"

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

linguini is the only millennial character ever written correctly

Congress

I am screaming

Noooooooo 😂