I would have let you put out cigarettes on my skin. anything you want just for a smile or a voice message (i like your voice). all the twisted desires and weird fantasies. my body as a playground for your experiments. i would have loved to be your trial and error no matter the consequences. only your amusement.
i was shy, and nervous, and excited around you. i felt the danger and wanted the rush. punching me in the chest, opening a hole. the look of satisfaction in your face while my saliva was flooding your feet was everything. i swear you were a god in those moments. and mine.
so embarrassed to admit my biggest kink was for you to kiss me. deeply, soundly, and wet. and to lick your face — specially your eyes-. hear about your conceptual theories and pretend i can’t follow your train of thoughts so you stop the story and walk me through it. carefully. again and again. until i get it and make you feel so so proud.
i secretly craved you decided to feed me only with your sweat. kept me under your bed. developed a software to watch my dreams. just us against the boredom. forever.
but you and me was never a possibility. not even by chance. and i’m paralyzed by sadness because i don’t know what to do with all this mess now.
