i got a rock :/

and everyone who's saying the vows will be madlibs is also probably right, it makes a lot of sense. I for one am looking forward to it

but it’s teenagers we’re talking about here. so the chain of logic goes, if they’re not together—which of course they aren’t this is all just for fun guys you don’t really believe they’re gay, do you, the vday video was a prank—then they’re probably not gay, and are in fact straight, and will end up with women and kids and a dog and a white picket fence like oh so many unfortunate YA protagonists in epilogues (the primary books fans had read atp, lbr)

so there was a whole cottage industry built around this emotional tension of fans caring so, so much about dan and phil now (back then), but “knowing” that it could never last because eventually they would move on to have the traditional signifiers of a happy life. youtube was seen as childish, no one knew if it was even possible for it to be sustainable for more than one, two, five years; dan and phil were of course straight so they would want to settle down with susan from the shop, and all the fun the teenagers were having was given an ambiguous, dramatic end point.

Dear Phil,

I do hope you and Dan are doing well because I am not. I wish I would have stayed in England with you two. It would have been safer there than it is here. Jamestown is absolutely terrible. There are so many mosquitos here, and a bunch of people are getting Malaria.This is just the thing we need. These people dropping dead from Malaria is just great. I’ve been trying to keep my family and I healthy, but one of my children has passed away. I am devastated and I no longer wish to be here. Then again I did not want to be here right when I arrived. I have to stay and help the men here become more civilized. Without us, this would not have gotten to be as nice. Why couldn’t the men just cook and clean like we are doing now? If they did that then none of us women would have to be in danger. I hope no other women or children get hurt. Also, the native people are attacking. I don’t understand why we couldn’t just keep to ourselves. I know England needed more resources, but starting a colony in a place where there is already people is a bad idea in my opinion. Only the men get to vote here, and I think that is ridiculous. The women are working hard too. We have been cooking, cleaning, helping the children, and we get nothing in return. The women should also have a say in the things going on around here. I bet we would make better and more sensible decisions than the men. I know our work around here is not as tough as the work the men do, but they are not the only ones working to help the colony! I just feel like us women should also be able to control what is going on here. The men are not the only ones with brains, and to be honest I don’t even think they have brains. We have had a rough winter. It was so cold I thought we would get hypothermia. Surviving is hard here. We barely have any food to live with. This is another reason I am concerned for the health of the children I have left. I seem to be afraid of so many things, but that is because there are a lot of things to be scared about. I am certain I will die here, and so will my family. It does not matter how hard myself, my husband, or my children work. This is getting kind of depressing, but it’s just the truth. We will all die in Jamestown. This is definitely the worst thing I have done in my life. I wish I was back with you two instead of being here. I have been having dreams about someone picking me up and taking me back to England and away from this awful place. I know it can’t happen, but I do like to imagine what my life would be like if I wasn’t in this place full for Malaria, harsh winters, attacks, and fear. I guess it really does not matter how much I tell you I want to leave because I will still be here. It’s just sad to realize that I will be in Jamestown cooking and cleaning until I die, which will probably be pretty soon. There is not much I can do except keep in touch with you two until I am no longer living. This letter is mostly just me rambling about how awful it is here, but I guess you’ll just have to deal with it. If I do not reply to your letters I am most likely dead. You probably could have assumed that though. . .Well, I’m glad you two have stayed in England where you can continue to be happy, and that I don’t have to worry about you being here in these awful conditions. I miss you very much, and I hope my two favorite uncles are staying happy despite what is going on with me and the other members of my family. I have been trying to stay positive and make the best of this situation, but under these circumstances, I don’t think that is possible. Stay safe!

With love,

I ONLY LOVE 3 THINGS:

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS

DUNKIN’ DONUTS