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@underworldofficefancontent
WELCOME TO THE BLOG, THIS IS A PINNED MESSAGE.
BOSS X EUGENE SHIPPERS DO NOT INTERACT. GET AWAY.
Main Tags: #headcanons #reblog #fanart #incorrect quotes #AU #genderqueer Charlie
There’s also tags for specific Characters so check those out!
I, the only person running this blog, ship Eugene X Luke so if you don’t that’s fine but please don’t yell at me.
That’s it for now on this pinned post. Enjoy my blog! 💜
-Fiona ( @fionathefab )
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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*everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Boss: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Eugene: ...I did. I broke it.
Boss: No. No you didn't. River?
River: Don't look at me. Look at Hayden.
Hayden: What?! Hayden didn't break it.
River: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Hayden: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
River: Suspicious.
Hayden: No, it's not!
Sean: If it matters, probably not, but Joan was the last one to use it.
Joan: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Sean: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Joan: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Sean!
Eugene: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Boss.
Boss: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone
Sean: Boss... River's been awfully quiet.
River: rEALLY?!
*everyone starts arguing*
Boss: being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Boss: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Boss:
Boss: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
River: Rules are made to be broken.
Eugene: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Boss: Piñatas.
Hayden: Glow sticks.
Joan: Karate boards.
Sean: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
River: Rules.
Eugene:
*Eugene and River sitting in jail together*
River: So who should we call?
Eugene: I’d call Charlie, but I feel safer in jail
River Why are you on the floor?
Eugene: I'm depressed.
Eugene: Also I was stabbed, can you get Luke, please.
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Eugene: I told River her ears flush when she lies.
Hayden: Why?
Eugene: Look.
Eugene: Hey River! Do you love us?
River, covering her ears: No.
Hayden:
That one mom ghost: I just ended a four year relationship.
Sean: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?
Mom ghost: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.
*Eugene and Boss fighting from across the room*
Eugene: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Eugene and Hayden, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
River: Our turn, Boss! One, two, three- vanilla!
Boss, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Eugene: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Luke: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Eugene:
Eugene: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
River: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!
Boss: Really? Name one law
River: Don't kill people?
Boss: ...That's on me. I set the bar too low.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Charlie: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
Eugene: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Charlie: Jokes on you, I can't do math!
Eugene, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Luke: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Luke: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Eugene, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Luke: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Luke: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Eugene, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ
Eugene: Do you take constructive criticism?
Charlie: I only take cash or credit.
Boss: God, give me patience.
River: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Boss: If a God gave me strength, everyone in the Underworld would be erased.
River: *walking into the office* Sorry I’m late, I was... doing things.
*sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Eugene: *out of breath* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Some Charlie centric doodles
I do t know what to do with my life if it wasn’t obvious
