Undertale Checkpoint

The less important thing, somehow, is me getting a new 3x3 PB single a few hours ago, actually. This was the scramble: D R F2 U D' F U R U2 F L2 U2 F L2 B2 R2 L2 B D2 Amazing cross, easy F2L, and a PLL skip. And the time was 13.37 to boot! I realise that I could've done it much better, but with a time of 13.37 I feel like it was destined, so I'm actually very content with this. I'll beat it in due time anyway.

Yesterday I walked a marathon. I've been planning this for a few weeks now, looking at the terrain, how many Geocaches there were, how many cities I would visit, everything. The idea is that it's 26.2 miles for 2026. I did this to prove myself, and also to be one step closer to one of my big goals in life - to run a marathon. This one was purely walking, and I managed it in a time of 8 hours, 44 minutes, and 13 seconds. It was, by far, the hardest physical challenge I've ever been through. The first 8 miles or so felt easy enough, by 15 miles I had walked further than any other journey I've been on, and seeing how far I was from my house, I really wanted to quit. But slowly and surely, over the next 11 miles after that, I made it back home and saw some amazing holiday lights. It might seem pointless, but the whole point, as I saw it, was to just see what I can do, push myself to the absolute limit. And I think I did it. And along the way, I saw hundreds of people, whether they were just a stranger walking past, the cashier at the In-N-Out, or a man at a golf course who showed me where the water was. Each and every one of them saw me with kindness and compassion. I only told one person, the man at the golf course, what I was doing that day, but even with the hundred other people who saw me as a complete stranger they'll see once in their life, they chose empathy. I was on a bus to get to my starting point for the marathon, and along the way, the lady sitting behind me pulled out a roll of toilet paper and gave me a bunch. She called it 'stranger love'. I was a bit confused at what kind of message she was trying to send, but found it kind anyway. The man at the golf course, when I told him what I was doing, wished me all the luck he had. That night, right after I finished the marathon and was dying to get home, a woman stopped me on the street and asked me to help her. She had a large pole with a sale banner stuck in the dirt and wanted to get it out. I, through my tiredness and several minutes of cooperation, eventually got it out, and she was unbelievably happy about it. Through the whole ordeal, she was calling me 'mijo', which I don't know if that's exclusive to your own hijos but made me feel warm inside nonetheless.

The first thing I wanted to talk about today is sonder. Sonder is 'the profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it.' Every time you visit a mall, every time you're stuck in traffic, every time you're on a plane looking down at the city and see millions of little lights, you're seeing millions of humans with stories as deep and profound as your own. Every single one of those apartment lights or cars or faces has their own life with their own pride and joys, their own firsts, their own tragic losses, and their own last moments. I think it's both wonderful and sad that we can have so many stories being told at the same time, but are unable to listen to all of them. Moments when I realise this suddenly give me so much clarity about life and humanity, I want to stay in that moment all the time. They make me feel so close yet so far to the rest of humanity, a tangled web of people and ideas all in the center of their own universe, connecting in ways we were lucky to see. A few weeks ago, I locked myself in the bathroom, turned off the lights, and just started... crying. Crying for humanity, crying for everything happening around the world at the time. I was crying for families being reunited and other families spending their last moments with someone. I was crying for war and peace and how eight billion of us are telling stories on the same planet. I was crying for myself, for my family, for the city, for all of humanity. And it felt... really good. I think if everyone cried every now and then, not because of a break up or death but just to cry, the world would be a lot more understanding. Sonder is such a feeling that I can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel. ...So I'll stop. Try for yourself. Look outside the window. Every building, every car, every tree, every star in the sky... it all means something. 

I want to try and be vulnerable again and talk about my greatest fears. As a kid, I was scared of a lot of the 'normal' things to be scared of - the dark, spiders, Barney, etc. And while I've mostly gotten over them, there's a new fear that I think is now worse than all of them. It's not death, or clowns, or grass. It's forgetting, and being forgotten. Dementia strikes me as absolutely terrifying. To me, it looks like slowly losing everything you know and love, until everything becomes unrecognisable and you're left with yourself, until you lose that too. It's the slowest of deaths, killing someone in months or years. And once it's almost over, what do you have? Nothing, really. It's like you're back to being a baby, nobody can understand you and you can't understand anybody. The alternative is worse, understanding everything perfectly but not being able to say anything back... I mean it with all sincerity that I'd rather be stabbed a thousand times, burned at the stake, drowned, anything other than getting dementia. 

And my other fear, what happens after you die. How quickly will I be forgotten? Everyone, no matter if you're the most famous singer or president or if you're Jesus of Nazareth himself, you will be forgotten, in a thousand, a million, or a billion years. And that's scary. I want to actually have done something in the short time I have, I want to make sure people know the things I have done this life. And hell, it's working. You're reading this. You're probably miles apart in space and months or years ahead in time, but you chose to stop here and see what a random 16 year old in California has to say about life and death and his hopes and dreams. Being forgotten is the ultimate death - after it, it's the exact same as if you never existed. You become a silhouette when your body goes, and when all memory of you goes, night comes and you join the billions of other silhouettes in a sea of lost identity. I think, deep down, we're all scared. As a species, we humans are so scared of dying and what happens after that we invented religion. We invented things like heaven to comfort us, a man-made belief that everything will be alright and they will take you home. We invent things like reincarnation to tell ourselves that there is more you can do and that you should be kind to everyone because they might just be yourself in a few lives. But, deep down, even though I'm religious, I'm pretty sure it's all a lie we made, because we're scared. We all have a fear of dying, it's built into our genes. It's just that we got too smart and started wondering what happened after. 

Morality exists outside of religion, hell, animals have morals when they help members of their own or a different species. But what makes humans different then? Is it our intelligence? Dolphins, monkeys, even birds have similar intelligences in certain areas. Is it using tools? Nope, animals have us there too. No, what I really think separates us humans from animals is one ability. It's our ability to do useless things. 

Every animal has gone through tens of millions of years of evolution, picking out the most valuable traits in an organism and helping them pass on their genes to ensure that helpful mutation spreads. And yet, mankind has come in in the last 15 thousand years and has, in the blink of an eye, invented farming, created civilizations, connected the entire world, altered the nature of his world, and very well has the chance to end it too. 15000 years is an eternity, but a short one, compared to the billions of years Earth has existed for. Now, how does doing useless things separate us from animals? Back in the cavemen days, we were very much still animals, hunting and killing and protecting the family to pass on genes, acting on pure animal instinct. But now, now we've dedicated entire industries to useless things. For example, the study of physics. How does knowing how the universe works and breaking it down into fundamental atoms help us live longer? It doesn't, we're just curious. How does spending millions of dollars, hiring actors and editors, and releasing a movie help us live longer? It doesn't, we're just creative. How does adventuring into jungles and ice caps help us live longer? It doesn't, we're just courageous. How does waging war, doomscrolling, going on a cruise, and stepping on the moon help us, individually or as a society, live longer? It doesn't, we're just full of love, hatred, greed, boredom, and a desire to do something with the time we have. But hey, maybe it's not so useless after all. Researching fundamental particles can help us find a breakthrough in science, technology, health, and maybe can help us live longer after all. Going to the movies makes us feel happy, helps us bond with family or a partner, and maybe can help us live longer. Exploring remote corners of the world can help us find new plants and animals and maybe can help us live longer. And it'll get clicks on Youtube.

And this isn't a bad thing. This is what sets us apart, the fact that we no longer have to kill or be killed, the fact that 99% of our population isn't farming or hunting and the rest of us can live a life better than our grandfathers, who lived a life better than theirs. Maybe we're not progressing in evolution's eyes, but we certainly are in our own eyes. And maybe that applies to you too. The fact that you're here, the fact that you are born in this time and age, it all means something. You weren't born with a purpose, but you were born to find that purpose and make it whatever you want.

In summary, life maybe doesn't suck, but we're all gonna die. I hope after reading this, you can feel some levity - after all, if I only made you sad I'd have to balance it out with some amount of happiness - or some other bizarre mix of emotions that makes us human, and I hope it stays with you and appears whenever you need it. Take this token of appreciation from a stranger you'll never meet again, or see in person, or even know the real name of. Humans are pretty cool, actually. And, no matter when you're reading this, have a great day, week, year, and life, and

Happy late Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus… and anything else you celebrate! I bought myself five entire cubes (and one lube) from TheCubicle (All of my orders have been from them so far), a 4x4 (I already had one, but it was in pretty bad shape, as in, two of the corners are broken and fall out every solve bad shape), a 7x7, a Megaminx, a Square-1, and a Mirror Cube. Oh, and some Silk. All of the puzzles were in the $10-$20 range (with the mirror cube being $5 thrown in last minute purely to get free shipping) because I’m not exactly going to use up all of the benefits the flagship cubes give (read: I’m not that good). Hell, I’m still using my non-magnetic 3x3 as a main. It’s first on the chopping block to be replaced, though. More about cubes later. The best thing I got this year was a certain game… A game I’ve been wanting to play for a very long time. As in, a very long time. ;)

Anyway, I’m going to write about what I did this year in this entry instead of next entry because then I’ll probably wax poetic about life and stuff. The two big things that happened to me this year were me really picking up Geocaching - this time last year I only had ten finds, now I have two hundred and thirty, and restarting cubing. Before this year, I only had a Rubik’s brand cube, a broken 4x4, a surprisingly-still-functional 2x2, a pyraminx held together by sheer hope, and a 2x2x3… Now I’m pushing 20 cubes. (two were gifts, one was a prize my friend got from sitting through the dentist, and the other is The Orb.) I’d be very surprised if I drop any of these hobbies in the next decade, they’re not leaving far as I can tell. 

Also, since you may have put this together by reading the last entry (which I didn’t mean to make sound so much like a rant), I just turned 16! Which is great, because 16 is my favourite number, so this is bound to be my best year yet, right…? Anyway, as always, my birthday party was lumped in with Christmas… the good news is that I get straight money instead of gifts, which I find much more convenient… the bad news is that most of that money ($500 [it’s a big family and I just happened to be the youngest in the entire family so I’m basically the youngest sibling for the entire family], mind you, no laughing matter) is going towards my college fund… the good news is that, in college, I’m in a whole different place and I can find way more Geocaches. 

god first thing I’m gonna do when I get a car is drive it to find more Geocaches

Anyway, moving on to… conlanging?! I haven’t heard that name in ages… My first conlang that I teased but never really mentioned is kinda dead now. In-world, it’s supposed to be an equivalent of some niche, internet-lang about the size of Toki Pona today, so it’s a bit of an IAL and an artlang and everything combined since I can’t make my damn mind up. The hard part was sourcing words from around the world, in a way that languages with more speakers would have more words in my conlang. That got hard very fast. Anyway, now that I’m trying to build a world around the Minecraft server (which is, unfortunately dead at this point), I want to make a more naturalistic conlang, and, like I said, want to really simulate the evolution of it. Wow, I really am surprised I’m not autistic. 

By the way, speaking of the Minecraft server, for years now that was played on Education Edition on the laptops (thank god not Chromebooks) we could use at lunch. Now, turns out, you can’t load an Education Edition world into Bedrock Edition, unless you fiddle with the NBT data. …I was never able to find out how to do this. UNTIL NOW!!! That’s right, the server’s in actual Minecraft now, now we can download all the mods we want!!! Except… there is this charm about it. Two years without any shaders, modpacks, datapacks, textures, anything, really. It’s the purest of vanilla servers there is out there, probably. And never once did I budge and type a single command… even when my friends were literally on their knees begging me. Which I am proud of, it was very funny to see them like that. Y’know, now that I’ve sunk more hours into this server than my main survival world, I might as well just make this my forever world. Like what Dan’s doing now!

About that big project I was talking about... yeah it's not happening. I was planning to make a '2025 in X minutes' but it just didn't feel fun to work on. Funny thing is, I tried to make one last year, but that fell through as well, so I started work early in January so I'd be ahead... And then didn't touch it for 11 months. It's kinda been a weight on my shoulders, having do to the hard work of putting it off to the next day and convincing myself that I could still have it done in time, so I'm just dropping the act here. Anyway, I released a video with, in my opinion, a killer thumbnail, but it's basically just the junk drawer with all the projects I scrapped this year. God it feels so much better to have that done in some shape. ...Maybe 2026?

Well, now that this journey is coming to an end, I suddenly realise that there is, in fact, a lot more that I want to tell y’all. So lemme just… where is it… aha! 

Welcome back to Underrated Roblox Games 2! Where I give you, you guessed it, some niche, underrated Roblox games. The cutoff, as always, is 500 concurrent players or below. Now, without further ado…

Sushi Gambit

‘September 4th, 1992. You're cursed to run a sushi shop nearing bankruptcy with up to 6 other eternally tortured souls; with the goal of staying in business for 14 days to be freed. Times get tough, so you may need to resort to less ethical food sources...’

Yep it's murder! :D This game is a nice twist on the 'sushi shop manager' microgenre. As always, it features the usual: seating and serving guests, buffing windows, mopping up messes, going out into the streets at night with chloroform spray and a knife... wait, something's not right here... How are they mopping up messes from a carpet floor?? In all seriousness, the gameplay is not lacking. The different minigames that pop up, like pressing buttons rhythm-game style to wash the dishes or physically moving your mouse back and forth to move the sponge make simple chores fun to play. Hell, I spent hours washing dishes just to get good at typing the letter prompts quickly, watch this: qrefrrefferqqfreeqe wasn't that fast?? Oh, and the chloroform minigame. That's cool too. To kill people, you can either 1. use chloroform, leaves no trace but is hard to master, 2. use a good old fashioned knife, though it does use up a lot of stamina, or 3. hatchet. Quick, easy, though terribly bloody. Don't worry, you can get clean clothes and a perfect smile at the surgeon :) The atmosphere is amazing too - the dim LED shop sign, the occasional snow and thunder, a vague grimy feel to the whole city, the cars in the street running NPCs over... Besides that, this is another game with limited lore - basically dripfed to you - while you're trying to piece together the larger whole. The entire thing - running a sushi shop and killing people for their 'satchels of meat' - is just some kind of purgatory? Very interesting, to say the least. 8.5/10, this was amazing to play at night during spooky month. The game is somehow more cosy than scary...?

Spontaneous Generation

'Be the last subject standing against an onslaught of chaotic events in this minimalist building game set in the void of space.'

What an inviting way to get people to play your game...! This is another one of those 'plate survival' games, except one thing sets this apart... the fact that you are in a ship. in space. How much cooler can it get?? Oh. Right. There's a big Artifact in the middle. Think, a cube with a Roblox logo on all sides, and in the middle is the pulsing glow of light... And it's summoning random events. As they happen, you can get items to help (or harm) you, blocks like thrusters, lasers, and teleporters to upgrade your ship, abilities like astral projection, jump smash, and... thinking?, and can navigate in three dimensions to form alliances with others or wage war on them. The textures are super minimalist, standard building blocks are simple cubes, and the rest of the items have simple textures that are by no means unpolished but get the job done with as few pixels as possible. As the game progresses, events come faster and faster, and suddenly your ship is being boosted to the far end of the map, then laser strikes are called in, then you get a... stellated icosahedron? And there's also a face block that expands every time you feed it... What is this game, exactly? Well, let me just check the wiki, which I didn't know existed until when I was learning more about this game... Yep, it's confirmed, another game with limited lore that makes you wonder what the grand scheme of things is. Brilliant, I'll take three! The wiki also has hundreds of pages and ones of active editors... It's a work in progress, alright? In all honesty, the people who play this game manage to create the most impressive contraptions in the midst of blocks being blown up, orbital strikes being called, and all other hell. They're talking about platonic solids and how to make nukes while I'm just trying to steer towards some scrap metal. The game is a very special twist on the plate survival genre, and the atmosphere (or lack thereof, it's space after all) make the game so much more fun to cosy up to on a rainy evening. 9/10. Lucky for you, they just added a new update that includes mobile support!

Crazy Stairs

How wonderful, the game that needs a description the most doesn't have one. Well, this is a game, as you can probably guess, about climbing stairs. Don't click off yet, there's more to it. You're tasked with climbing a tower of stairs. There's a grid 5x5 at the base and 20 floors tall, of landings. Each landing can have a stair up and down each of its 4 sides. This is starting to get hard to visualise, but just think of the stairs in Harry Potter. And just like those stairs, they shift every now and then, some stairs moving, others appearing and disappearing. It is your job to climb them. Now, you can either be a normal Muggle and have no powers - boring, if you ask me - or, you can become certain roles, each with their own ability. Maybe you'll be a Patron, who can build stairs, or a Wicked, who removes them, or a Keeper, who simply moves them, or- there are over a dozen classes in this game, each with their own sets of abilities that change the game in some ways, shrinking and warping stairs until the whole thing looks absolutely hideous- I mean, unique. So, when you reach a dead end, what you do depends on your class. A Patron would just teleport themselves up, or summon new stairs, a Keeper would move the stair they were just on up a floor, and a Thief would place a stair they stole five floors down. The fun, now, comes in what happens when you play in servers. Maybe you make a stair and your friend moves it to where you want, or you rig some stairs to give other players mana to cast more spells, hell, the game has VR connectivity, where those players fly around the map and give normal players either a helping hand or a slap on the wrist. And the speedrunning strats, oh the speedrunning. My best, after more than 100 summits, is 78 seconds, and it required an insane amount of optimisation. Can you beat it? I mean, there's only one way to find out... 7.5/10, the game may not be for everyone but it certainly is for me, I love revisiting this one every now and then to see if I've still got it. I do!

Robots VS Humans AND Creature CHAOS

'The game... It's back!!!'

These games are lumped together because they're both a revival of an earlier game from the days of pre-pandemic - Build to survive the Creepers. It's one of those 'build to survive the _' games, but this one is super special for two reasons. One, the entire map is everyone playground, so instead of being separating in these pathetic building zones, everyone can build a base together, usually leading to some crazy skybases. Two, instead of the enemies being NPCs that are pretty easily thwarted, you are the enemy. After everyone's done building their epik base, a few of the players are respawned as Creepers, which is when the game really begins. Creepers want to kill all the humans, and humans want to survive. These two features alone easily make it the best in the genre. I discovered the original game early on in the pandemic, and, to be honest, it was tons of fun. I made quite a few memories as my team fended off creepers from our castle, or, on the other hand, seeing my explosion take down an entire skybase. All was good... until the game got removed mid-pandemic for copyright! I couldn't find it then, and the game faded into history... until now!1! Recently two new legally distinct games sprung up titled... well, you read them already. Of the two, the first is a bit more popular with 500 concurrent players. Both are pretty much the exact same as the original, with some Minecraft block textures changed around and the Creepers obviously being replaced. They do live up to the original's legacy pretty damn well, if I do say so for myself. 9.5/10, everything is perfect. Except for the fact that you can purchase OP items, we could've left it at the base game...

Azure Mines

'You're in charge of restoring an old mining facility back to its former glory. Massive randomly-generated caves, tons of detailed hand-designed ore, a unique tycoon element, a robust building system and in integrated level progression sets Azure Mines far apart from previous mining games on Roblox. See for yourself!'

This was one of the core Roblox games I played as a kid. It's like other mining games, and it probably isn't the best, but man this one will always be special for me. Being taught the ropes from better players, and then becoming one of the pros myself... The mine has different layers, at 300, 500, 1000, 2000, 3000, 4000... Each layer has a new challenge. Maybe you stumble on Zombies that'll run off with your arm (not nice), maybe you'll be in pitch darkness, maybe you'll have a paralysis demon following you...? Instead of talking about the game (why would I do that, it's not like I'm rating them or anything), I'll leave you with a few memories I have from it.

One time, when I was still super new to the game, I discovered a glitch that someone else had done. You see, the entire underground isn't generated yet; it's only when you mine a block when the game generates the new blocks under and next to it, so the parts of the underground not directly exposed are actually empty. Now, if you place blocks in just the right way, you can cause one of these blocks to not generate, and you'll be able to walk outside the tunnel... and into the void. Here, you can see every path and tunnel someone else has found... It's like spectator mode in Minecraft underground, except the extra stone isn't invisible, it's just not there at all. Now, the tunnel some people had glitched out of kept going, so I followed it. ...And followed it, and followed it. I eventually got to the end, and I had walked so far out of the map that I couldn't see anything other than the tunnel I had got into and the blue skybox all around. I was alone... at the edge of the universe. This triggered one of those, just, awe-inspiring moments in my little brain at the time, even though it's just a blue sky and a random grey tunnel. Anyway, I wanted to keep going, so to see what would happen, I mined the very last block in the tunnel I was standing on and, would you look at that, it spawned five more blocks next to it. For some reason, this felt weirdly unsettling to me (and I would later fear the blocks doing that for some reason) but I kept going. And going and going and - oh, I just fell off and died. Still, it felt like I was uncovering some kind of ancient secret the elders passed down to me to know. 

I upgraded my pickaxe to one that mines three blocks at a time in the direction you're facing. Problem is, it 'voids' the last two blocks, AKA doesn't send them to your inventory and basically deletes them fro existence. There's this really rare ore that has a 1/1,000,000 chance to spawn, called Ambrosia. You can see where this is coming, can you? Anyway, I was mining straight down, as always, going so fast to the point where I could barely recognise the ores going past - when I saw it in the corner of my eye, a pink and yellow ore. That's the one! I rush up like, 15 blocks and try and get it - before I realise I'm using the pick that has a 2/3rds chance of getting rid of it forever. It's too late, the blocks break and... oh, I'm fine. I mine another set of three blocks and expose the Ambrosia, hiding on the fourth one. I count my blessings, get the block, and continue down. 

As a child, I yearned for the mines, and eventually, I formed a little group of friends who also wanted to explore the mines with me. We went on little trips over the next few months and found many a ore in the deep. Of course, this couldn't last, and the gang started disbanding... except for one guy, who really wanted to stick around. We, and his little brother who joined in, we in it for the love of the game, mining like nobody's business. It's been a few years and I haven't really mined with him. In fact, I haven't even seen him online...

Wait, what were we doing...? Oh, games. Well, today we have a special buy 5, get 1 free deal, because this one has about ~1.2K concurrent players, but it's so good I just had to add it:

The Ultimate Robloxian

'The Ultimate Robloxian is a chaotic multiplayer party platformer where players build the stage as they play. Each round, new obstacles and platforms are added, turning simple maps into wild and unpredictable death races. Will you create a safe path, or trap your friends for the win?''

This game has you pitted with fellow players to as you all try and make it through an obstacle course... while also building set obstacle course. That's right, at the start of each round you'll get to place down an item, be it a moving platform, truss, laser cannon, or a menacing turkey, to try to either create a path for you or hinder everyone. Then, everyone is thrust into the game, where a simple mistake means you're out for the round. What's better, killing others with your trap awards you points and gets you closer to victory! The premise is good enough, but the items you can place make the game a lot more complex. a campfire, which... sets you on fire, slowly killing you. But, it also increases your speed and therefore jump distance. A UFO with a tractor beam that sucks you towards it, killing you when you touch it, but also serving as a way to get that extra bit of height... After five or six rounds, the pathway becomes so cluttered and littered with traps that it requires a comically long or tedious route to avoid everything and still make it to the end. The game is in 2.5D, with the traps being put on the board in two dimensions, but you being able to evade them in three. Additionally, different maps have special modes - red light green light, rising lava, or low gravity, each having their own bits of chaos and strategy. My advice, and don't tell this to anyone, is to go for the trap on the first round, preferably a paintball gun as close to the spawn as possible. This will net so many trap points on unsuspecting people, just, uh... watch out for it yourself, dying to your own trap doesn't award anything. 9.0 game, simple premise but different and addicting each time. The aesthetics and music are also top-notch, as for the rest of the games listed. I'm pretty sure these ones are original, though.

Well, that was a lot. How about we move on to cubing? These are the PBs and goals I have for next year:

2x2

PB: 3.88 on 17 December

Ao100: 8.97

Notes: I bought this cube a long time ago, I still remember learning the Ortega method for the first time in fourth grade? This cube has been through a lot. Underwater, hand sanitizer, lotion, literally anything I could use as cube lube… Surprisingly still turns pretty well. I don’t practice this one a lot, mostly because it’s too fast to really be ‘fun’ to grind, like scrambling is half of the time here… Also, the next step up from Ortega method is to learn 50 algs… no thanks

3x3

14.14 on 13 December

Ao100: 21.71

Notes: Sometimes I’m really in flow state and I average ~18 seconds. Other times I can’t get a sub-20 solve for 5-10 solves. Almost every day though, I get at least one solve in the 15-16s range. My goal next year is to be solidly sub-20, as in I’d need a good excuse to have a solve over 20 seconds. Also, Ao5 and Ao12 PBs were both set yesterday (17.57 and 18.62) which I’m very proud of!

4x4

PB: 59.87 on 25 December

Ao100: 1:25:14

Notes: Centers are solved in 12-17 seconds. I don’t check if the colour scheme is right, just fix it in 3x3 stage. Edges are paired by 35-50 seconds, and 3x3 stage takes almost 30 seconds without parities. My goal next year is to get more sub-1 solves. Crazy that the WR solves the whole cube before I even do my centers… 

5x5

PB: 1:50.88 on 21 December

Ao100: 2:23.69

Notes: I absolutely smashed my goal of getting a sub-2 solve. After two weeks of shaving it down by a second or two at a time, I suddenly locked in and shaved off 11 seconds in that solve. I’ve had a few sub-2 solves since then. 4x4 has taken a bit of the spotlight ever since I got a new one, but 5x5 is cool too. Depends how much of a sprint/marathon I want to do. Centers are done by 35-40 seconds, edges are paired by 1:30-1:45, and 3x3 stage is ~25s, thanks to one (or two?) less parities. My Ao5 PB is 1:58 from yesterday, and I think I can get my Ao12 (2:07) down to sub-2 next year too.

7x7

PB: 7:12.10 on 26 December

Global average (58 solves): 9:26.97

Ao12: 7:55.60

Notes: No idea how much I’ll improve with this one. I still have a lot of downtime during centres, especially with the last two centres and my doing too many commutators. Edge pairing goes a bit better, but last two edges does get a bit confusing. First center is done by ~50s, second by ~1:45, and all centres are done by about 4:15. Edges are done by 6-7 minutes. 3x3 stage is a lot slower on this one mostly because I can’t use the same fingertricks, meaning I have to use 2LPLL except for the PLLs I’ve memorised by moves like the A perms. I think I can get a sub-6 minute PB by next year.

Square-1

PB: 50.93 on 21 December

Global average (54 solves): DNF

Ao12: 1:43.70

Notes: 4x4 but more make or break. I’m using my own extreme beginner method with four algs, maybe I can learn a better method if I’m feeling it, but this puzzle really isn’t my type. Limited movement, also it slips from my hands more times than I’d care to admit. It was surprisingly easy to learn the parity alg, though. It also feels like a sort of parity when consolidating the edges to turn the puzzle into cube shape. Sometimes I get all 8 edges together, sometimes it’s 7 and 1 and then I have to mess with it some more. No goal, really.

Megaminx

PB: 2:58.23 on 24 December

Global average (33 solves): 4:52:52

Ao12: 3:52:58

Notes: This one feels more like an endurance race than even the 7x7, mostly because it’s all F2L, whereas the 7x7 at least has centres, edges, 3x3, etc. I also do the last layer in four steps, EO, CO, EP, and corner permutation. This one, along with 7x7, are the ones I’m improving at quickly, so I can’t really tell where the floor is going to be. I spend a bit less than a minute doing the first first two layers, and then spend quite some time finding edges during the rest of the F2L. How the WR is half a minute, I can’t imagine. Maybe I can get a sub-2:30 PB this year? Then again, last layer takes up 30s by itself…

Skewb

PB: 4.74 on 28 November

Ao100: DNF Ao12: 17.12

Notes: I don’t really like practicing this one for the same reasons as 2x2. It’s a shame, because it’s a pretty good cube too… Maybe if I go to some comps, I can win two half-a-skewbs… I do want to learn the next method, because I’m still using the beginner’s…

Pyraminx

PB: 11.74 on 3 March

Global average (37 solves): 28.02

Ao12: 21.94

Notes: I stopped solving this one. Same reason. Meh, this is a pretty good platonic solid, but as a cube it really lets me down. Also, this is probably the worst quality cube I have, I’ve had it since 5th grade along with my 2x2 and old 4x4, but this one really sucks. I think it was $5? Also, I’ve abused this cube a lot. Like, using it as a D4. 

3BLD

PB: 7:23.98 on 11 November

Global average (11 solves): DNF

Notes: This is the one I’m most scared of to practice, mostly because I can’t tell when/how I messed up. I had 10 DNFs and one successful solve, and that was all I wanted apparently. I want to try again sometime. My only goal for this one, really, is to get more solves done. And maybe a Ao5 PB that’s not a DNF.

FMC

PB: 70

Notes: I just did a normal solve two minutes ago to say that I did FMC. I don’t. It looks really interesting though… Me looking at FMC now is the same kind of awe as my friends seeing me solve cubes. No idea how it’s done, but looks pretty cool. I wanna learn next year.

Crazy to think that all of the events (that I do regularly) I have gotten PBs for in the past two weeks. In fact, in the last two weeks, there were three days where I set three WCA event PBs in one day, and only two days with no PBs. Woah. Then again, three new puzzles will probably help. 

Next time I’m buying cubes, which is probably going to be when I run out of DNM, I’m probably gonna get a 6x6, FTO, maybe a Kilominx, and then we’ll see. Oh, and I’ve been eyeing the X-man Tornado. Matter of fact, I was going to get the very best Tornado V3 Pioneer before I realised buying multiple cubes would probably be better. Clock kinda takes up a lot of valuable desk cubby space and I don’t really think I’ll have much fun solving it, but we’ll see. (also the qiyi clocks are pretty pricy in my opinion, I don’t see why it should cost more than magnetic cubes?) And then 6x6 is just a 4x4 on steroids, harder centers and harder parity. I feel pretty content with the cubes I have though, enough to switch it up every now and then, but not too many where I don’t use a puzzle for too long. except for pyraminx i hate pyraminx

And finally, after about 5000 words this entry and 55000 words this entire journey, I want to wrap it up in a neat little bow and say thank you. Yes, you, I am breaking the fourth wall and thanking you, whoever you are, for reading this. (The neat part is, if you didn't stick around and read the whole thing you wouldn't know that I'm thanking you) If you've stuck around for the whole journey or if this is your first entry, thank you for taking time to look into the wild mind of a random stranger on the internet. Even if none of this made sense because I'm writing at 10:50 PM right now or because my hobbies are too cerebral, I hope you appreciate it. No matter who you are or when you're seeing this, I hope you have a wonderful life. And for the last time on this account at @undertalecheckpoint... 

I just watched DanTDM’s playthrough of Goodnight Universe. I watched the first hour or so last week, and I thought it was pretty interesting, but not anything special or life-changing. Then, today, on the first day of winter break, I decided to watch the rest in one sitting. And it broke me so much. 

On the tin, the game is about a baby that has psychic abilities and the mind of an adult. Interesting premise, by all means, but I, to be honest, didn’t think the game would be much, at least because of its simple graphics. Like, there’s no way a game with simple graphics, an amazing story, and choice-based gameplay would give me a new perspective on life or anything again, right? ...Yeah, I should’ve seen it coming, but turns out, the game is a lot more than that. Like, a lot more. It’s a game about life and death, dementia, identity, love and family, and a million other things. And it’s also a little bit like all of my favourite games. 

(I wrote a few paragraphs of game summary before realising that I can’t really explain the game without utterly messing it up, so go play or watch the game) 

I think the game is absolutely amazing. The way the story evolves is really interesting, at first you’re just questioning, ‘what the hell am I?’ and then when Aio kidnaps you, all of that just goes out the window and you’re questioning anything and everything now. You’re some weird mutant baby that might be an alien, and you’re being captured by the largest, monopoly-est tech company on the planet that also puts sleeping gas in their roombas? But, the thing is, the game goes from the weird, suspension of disbelief things to something really serious pretty quickly. Like, one minute you’re helping a Gilbert the Goat car through some lasers and the next we’re talking about dementia and. stuff. However, all the way the plot goes together in the second half just, clicks, and it makes so much sense. Everything kinda just goes full circle, and every bit of dialogue and scene from the beginning of the game resolves itself at the end. 95/100 game IMO, the only gripe I have is how you get a 15 minute lore drop about family and identity and then you just... keep playing as the alien baby thing. Also, some parts don’t seem, well, realistic for how people would react when they see that their brother/son is a psychic alien, like when Cleo kinda just... concocts a train set obstacle course with computers on top? Then again, she’s stoned out of her mind, and I don’t have a baseline of how people should react when they see that their brother/son is a psychic alien. Aside from that, mechanics wise, this expands on the blinking concept from Before Your Eyes, and makes it a lot better. The sound design, especially when you close your eyes and have to rely entirely on hearing, that is absolutely impeccable. I wasn’t even playing the game and I was blown away by the sounds and music.

Anyway, I should’ve seen it coming when this game really got me. I genuinely cried when we were reading Grandpa’s journal, and every little detail I noticed made it even more emotional, like seeing how the handwriting devolves into, just, a bunch of scribbles is heartbreaking. The chicken scratch drawings turning into proper images, grandpa’s actual story, everything about it makes me want to cry and get in the fetal position and stay there. What I love about these games is that there’s no superhero or crazy villain or anything, everyone’s just a normal person with their own thoughts and feelings and goals, but just not revealing all of it to everyone, as people do. The fact that we can read their inner thoughts though makes each of them seem so real, like Wendy looks like another high-level corporate worker in the tangled kafkaesque web of this megacorporation, but as we progress, it turns out she’s just an assistant with her own family just going through the motions as she is forced into this whole alien baby conspiracy. Elliot looks like this pompous doofus, and... he actually is, but he’s also a nerd that will go to great lengths to make his lifelong goal true - even if it means destroying everything he built up. And seeing how Cleo goes from the perfect scholar on her way to MIT to who she really is is, well, really something when you start seeing her other side.

And the foreshadowing is really well done too. The fact that the TV’s on aliens in one of the first scenes, the fact that there’s this part of the narrator that weirdly loves Gilbert, the fact that you have the choice to do nothing and turn back into a baby, very well placed and doesn’t overdo it. 

The game’s a little bit like Firewatch with how it shows dementia, as well as the little text story bits where they narrate while letting you make some decisions. The game’s like Oneshot because of the choice near the end where you can choose to let the person you’ve been playing as return to their home world, or save other people that you’ve spent a long time helping. It’s a bit like Detroit: Become Human because there’s a (to varying degrees) crazy tech company trying to contain the non-human species. It’s a bit like Undertale because all of the NPCs each have their own lives, and it’s a bit like Superliminal because it uses some funky reality-bending game mechanics to teach you a life lesson.

And now onto me. There’s a reason why I love this game, so much, even though I barely finished watching it today. When I watched Dan’s playthrough of the game, I left a comment. I don’t want to restate what I already said, so here it is:

I'm the same age as Cleo. I have dreams of getting into MIT or CMU or some wild prestigious university. I skipped the third grade, and I still have no idea what that got me. I hate being called 'gifted'. And, I have absolutely no idea where I'm going from here. That being said, this game hits. Really hard. I watched the first half of the playthrough last week and didn't think too much of it, but today, on the first day of winter break, I finished it, and it broke me. It takes place in the same week I was born, in December 2009. I never really felt the same as anyone else, and the people I'm friends with now - they're great friends, don't get me wrong - don't know that I skipped a grade, mostly because I don't want to bring it up. Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me, someone who would understand everything about who I am and would take me somewhere I could be who I want to be.

I'm graduating in a year and a half, and I want to be involved in STEM and compsci but I have a million other things I want to do too, hobbies and friends and Youtube and time to just... do nothing. Watching this game didn't magically give me the answer to the next five years of my life, but it told me something. Maybe I should just let time... do its thing. Maybe, even if I don't get into the university I've been wanting to for half my life, that's okay. I'll make my way in life, I'll write my master's in something I love and will make some impact on the world, or maybe I'll get into the job I always wanted, or maybe I'll just be a good parent and raise my kids so they can have a chance to do it all over again. Or maybe, tomorrow, or next year, or in five or ten or when I have grandchildren, I'll get my lucky break and someone will find me, and they'll take me home. Thank you for listening to someone who you'll never see again. I hope you get whatever you want, and, more importantly, whatever you need.

So yeah. Growing up, I knew I was different from the other kids. Not in a ‘better than them’ way but - okay may it was a bit of a ‘better than them’ way because I did - okay, maybe do have a bit of an ego problem, but anyway I just really related to Cleo here, how in elementary school I was ‘the gifted kid’, hell, my fourth grade teacher gave me a whole show every few days like Standupmaths where I’d do some card trick or neat joke, she called it ‘Five Minutes of Cyan’ (not actually with the word Cyan though) and you know what? I loved it. I had friends, and they actually really admired me. We did so many fun things, we made so much lore, it was amazing. The one thing we bonded over especially was our favourite Youtuber, DanTDM. I remember the first video I watched of him, Getting Over It, part 1. 

But in middle school... God, middle school... Yeah, I was like, super bullied. For being the smart kid. I still had a friend group, of course, but it was only because, on the first day of school post-Zoom meetings, I sat down on the grass next to an interesting group of kids. Turns out, it was the music club, a bunch of tight-knit friends who grew up on the same street right next to the middle school and were friends since childhood. Surprisingly, they were actually pretty receptive with me joining their group, because I lied and said I played the piano. Okay, it wasn’t a lie, but I just got a full sized keyboard a few weeks before - of my accord - because I was interested in playing music, which is a whole nother can of worms because I hate playing music even though I’m good at it, and I love making music even though I’m pretty bad at it. Oh hey, would you look at that it’s more similarities with Cleo... Anyway, we went on to be friends through the rest of middle school, but I obviously was not, by any means, a core part of the group. They all had inside jokes from years ago, events they all went to, hell, even songs they wrote because three of them are in a youth band. 

I tried so hard to get some validation from them. I challenged someone to a rap battle (and actually won!), I transcribed their songs online, I tried to be as funny as I could, but… I just didn’t really feel that connection like I did with my elementary school friends. Maybe it was because COVID messed something up inside of me, I don’t know. They were my friends, but not my good friends. I had no good friends.

Something changed. My first period was Robotics. Yep, there’s an option to let 11 year olds play with robots. We got to construct our own RC cars slash robots with metal, gears, and wheels. We got to build them, which was fun, race them, which was fun, and take them apart, which was… not that fun, actually. It was a great class. 

Except for the fact that I was sitting at the worst possible table ever. My three tablemates absolutely hated me, they made fun of me each and every single god. damn. day. I had to sit with them for a full quarter of the year for an hour a day. It was torture. I had to say that I was freaking suicidal to get them to stop, which, at the time, I thought was a lie. Now… I don’t know, man. Thankfully, they loved robotics as much as I did, so they did their fair share in assignments. Still, nobody really was my friend in that class. After that hell awful quarter ended and we switched seats, I got sat next to this girl with the curly hair and glasses. AKA, a nerd, like me. However, we really didn’t like each other. I would always talk in this intentionally-confusing way to her specifically, maybe because I wanted to come off as cool and mysterious? I don’t know, I was a pubescent boy trying to change up his identity. Anyway, she would keep infodumping me on her interests, like Studio Ghibli movies. She showed me this app that she played, a cat-themed nonogram app. I downloaded it, and we started sharing our progress together. …Through Canvas’s emailing feature. I’m pretty sure the teacher has access to all of that too. Anyway, we, somehow, over the course of the year, became friends. And good friends too, no doubt. Actually, yeah no we were best friends. And guess what? I actually felt like I found my place in the world. With another nerd as my friend, in another friend group of nerds, and ignoring absolutely everyone else. 

I also had another friend, who was also a really good friend. We were introduced to each other when someone mistook us for each other. You see, I have a really uncommon name. And for most of my life, I knew zero people with that name. Until, I met him. We were surprisingly similar, aside from the same first name, our last names rhymed, we both played piano, we loved geography, hell, we had two moles in the exact same spot - one on the bottom right of our right eye, and one on the top right of our lip. We would talk about Bee Swarm Simulator, which he introduced me to, and in eighth grade, I regained some of my status in school using whatever metric I made up in my head, and when it came time to choose our high schools, my best friend, and her art friends, all chose the art school, when I chose the technology school. Oh, cruel is the high school selection system, splitting friends apart. Oh and I got SA’d twice in middle school in PE class. Anyway, ninth grade I told you about, but it’s also when I really matured, in a way, being around 1. people a year older than me, as always, 2. people who didn’t know me, so I stayed clear of bullies for a while, and 3. the seniors were upwards of five years older than me. In 10th grade I really found my role as the smart guy who also doubles as the class clown. I did crazy stuff, standing on desks, throwing Tajin from the third floor on April Fools’ Day, rolling a water cooler bottle down the third floor stairs (after school)... come to think of it, a lot of this had to do with the third floor… 

And I never faced consequences for my actions! :D which is lovely, because technically none of that was against any rules per se, and also the school’s got a few thousand other kids who are starting fights and stuff… that’s probably more important to them. And yes, I picked the Tajin back up. I’m not a monster. 

Anyway, one day in 10th grade, my best friend from middle school (who I was still keeping in touch with, mind you) texted me in the middle of class one day, saying, ‘I want to try something, call me [this name]’. I, being the incredibly wise fool of a sophomore I was, said that I was in class and can’t call them.

Then it clicked that they were transitioning and I picked up my phone (which was allowed) and frantically explained my idiocy. They said it was fine, but seriously, they’re questioning their identity. 

And now I’m in the middle of my junior year, trying to manage my grades - yes, I want the golden robe - trying to figure the minimum I have to do to get all A’s, while hiding that from my friends who just see me as the silly little colour-theory-obsessing, Tajin-loving, chaotic bi guy. What a life… At least I haven’t had any bullies in the past year or so, apparently I’m cool now… or the new freshmen are really easy to get.

2019: “The Battles at Concord and Lexington”

It all started long ago,

When General Gage had to know,

That John and Samuel were at Lexington,

Toward the direction of the setting sun.

So he gathered a group,

700 in the troop,

And they started marching in Boston.

In Concord, they planned to find weapons,

Hidden by the Minutemen.

But, Paul Revere,

Luckily he had to hear,

about the plan

to arrest the men

That were now in Lexington.

John Parker, the leader of the Minutemen,

sad to stand their ground, and then,

a battle was faught [sic], but when it was soothed,

The British went on, but the weapons were moved.

And the, that’s how we’ve been taught, 

About those battles that were faught.

Lin-Manuel Miranda, eat your heart out, amiright? 

…okay this is pretty terrible. But then again, I was, like, ten.? I don’t think I even knew that chocolate milk didn’t come from brown cows. Anyways, this was for an assignment, and I don’t even remember what I got, but… I can guess. I will give myself a little pat on the back for one thing, which is that finding ‘Lexington’ and ‘setting sun’ as slant rhymes was actually pretty good. Then again, it looks like I only knew what slant rhymes were, because… oh boy those rhymes are looking tough. And the few actual rhymes, like soothed/moved were so forced. And then obviously, the biggest problem, there’s no meter or rhythm or any kind of consistency in how long a line is. Moving on…

2020: Duolingo Rap 2 (Original by Iris_Songs)

Hello y’all, I’m part of the crew, 

And this is Dulingo [sic] rap number 2

I ain’t good at this, nor am I going off with a bang, 

But if I try hard, I can do anythang, now, 

The original was made by Iris Yo, 

And let’s just do this, 3 2 1, GO! 

Lemme tell you what you need to know

About this language program called Duolingo. 

You choose a language to-o learn, 

And then Lingots you will earn. 

From the questions that he asks you, 

Make sure to not get one askew. 

It also teaches you lots of words, 

Adjectives, nouns, and also verbs. 

You can spend Lingots in the shop, 

To buy power ups (there aren’t a lot)

If you are active you get a wildfire streak, 

And lots of lingots (but that takes a week)

Once you mastered a language, jump and shout, 

Now you can travel all about. 

You can talk with friends, who live miles away, 

Or you can show off to your friends, hey

Thank you for reading this Duolingo rap,

Now you can clap.

That took me all day,

Now I’ll be on my way!

…The worst part is that this wasn’t even for any assignment, this was just on my own. This was back in the day when Duolingo had things like ‘forums’, ‘the waterfall method’, and ‘actual learning instead of AI’. Crazy, I know, AI wasn’t even a thing in 2020. (/s) I tried so hard to fit in with ‘y’all’, ‘yo’, and ‘ain’t’. ‘Anythang’ deals psychic damage every time I look at it. I tried to be better at rhythm and meter here by doing that ‘to-o’ trick, but that… doesn’t magically make it better. The rhyming is better, but it’s just the normal one rhyme at the end of the line trick. I also apparently forgot what slant rhymes are. 

2021: Equal rights rap

Basic human rights; they're something we rarely think of

But with all these protests, our nation's on the brink of

Having another civil war, Hey, what is this for? 

It shakes us down to the core, more and 

More streets full of gore, that's for sure

To shore, there’s a ton of violence

C'mon, listen up, lemme give you my two cents

Riots full of people being a nuisance 

Having no sense, wanting more cents, and we're 

On the fence of being a bent society

How do we fix this thing? 

People keep getting canceled just for existing, 

it goes on and on, this phenomenon

Has no ends, will not mend, tears friends apart,  

breaks people's hearts, that's just the start

Peace or love? You can never have neither. 

Slashes relationships faster than a cleaver

To survive, you need to be better than clever. 

But it's as impossible as sleeping in the Nether. 

Look, I need to make a confession, 

I don't know how to get us out of this mess, son.

No, it’s not a lie, jut [sic] don’t ask a single question.

It’s only just a suggestion. 

The problem at the table is that

Many various people are unable

To understand that varied personalities are able

And capable to be unshakable when faced with faces

That face against justice, just as some blindly distrust science

Stand with us in silence, while officers silence us.

Their anger keeps growing like a pest, 

Sucking out all hope and zest, 

Overwhelming us with stress

To not feel it you would've been blessed

Most of you may have guessed that

The best we are are guests to some;

No less than messed up and dumb

But lest vexed and numb faces fight family and friends

News flash: This storm does have a calm end.

Don’t get too hasty, 

cont

Violence is not the solution.

Violence was never the solution.

Violence violates vigilance and valence, but violence has virality.

The media vitalizes violence, not mediative or medicative

Fight anger with anger, and you get 

…and then the rest is a bunch of two or three lines floating around connected with ‘cont’. This is actually a very big improvement from last year, but… some things are still left to be desired. I mean, for one thing, I actually learned what stanzas are, and some of the lyrics are actual bars, like there’s multiple rhymes, wordplay, meter… Honestly, 12 year old me was ONTO something. My main grief with it is that… the story isn’t moving anywhere, I just kept thinking of new rhymes and had to squish them in without realising that a rap is supposed to… actually go somewhere. This one was also not for an assignment or anything, I was just inspired by what happened in 2020.

2022: Until Tomorrow

*meant to be read slightly melodically*

Peaceful springtime morning,

Birds and creatures chirping,

Nature’s chorus unbeknown,

The forest’s all they’ve known,

Working in harmony, singing the sweetest melody,

Bear cubs scouting, thick shrubs sprouting,

The feel of the surreal breeze of the trees,

This would be the greatest place to be,

Until tomorrow.

The workers marching in,

Their belches and their grins,

Construction’s all they’ve seen,

So close to nature, yet so far,

How could this have been?

Working in harmony, building a pharmacy,

That can’t cure the ails of the snails,

Or the scared squeals of the despaired seals,

Pipes rerouting, burly shouting,

Animals mourning their loss in the late morning,

This would be the worst place to be,

Until tomorrow.

Humming with a side of song,

Slinging a tied bag along.

The group’s here to fix the drea-

ry mess of what’s left, bit by bit.

Yellow and grey soap spread over the pond,

Filter the mess so the ducks can swim on,

Working in harmony, restoring equality, 

Removing plastics from turtles, picking elastics from bird-holes.

Bear cubs sneaking a peak, 

The fauna gazing at us carefully,

The joy of today’s fixing, mending,

Even though yesterday’s breaking, bending,

There was a better way to coexist.

For now, the forest’s quiet.

The animals are silent,

Wondering if history will repeat itself.

But tomorrow, the animals will emerge from their holes,

Tomorrow, they will happily chirp, buzz, and growl,

The forest will become alive again,

But the sun must set first for a new day to begin.

A new start, a new chance,

For now, the animals will have to wait…

Until tomorrow.

This one is very… cerebral? As in, I think I’m getting around to the whole ‘how to deliver a story through a poem’ but I sacrificed a bit of rhyme for it. Also, ‘meant to be read slightly melodically’? I had a very specific melody in mind when I wrote this, and apparently that note was enough to make any person know exactly what I had in mind. I do like the motif of ‘until tomorrow’ I put in there, though. 

2024: ‘Two Days into College’ and ‘Passing Through’

(Two Days into College is in Entry #91)

‘Passing Through’ is meant to be sung by two people, originally I had one in blue text and one in red, but I’m not gonna spend a half-hour re-formatting it, so you’ll have to guess.

Can't the future just wait a minute?

All the headlines are already out of date

Am I ahead or behind now?

Out of time now?

Will I be fine if I find the rate

At which time starts to fly?

Why can’t I put it on standby?

It’s always

making or breaking

For my own sake,

Why can’t I ever retry

And here we arrive

It’s 1:45

I’m alive and I’m trying to survive

But maybe it's time

To let time pass through

Look at the sky at night

All the stars shine until the end of time, their light

Is like a million bright spotlights

Maybe not quite

Or is that right?

We’re astronauts all our lives,

Is that fair?

We’re sailing through

We’re neither here nor there

What's ahead? No one knows

At least we’re going somewhere…

My life’s just begun

There’s a million things I haven’t done

So maybe I should take a step back for once

Then, maybe it's time

To let time pass through

I can’t just decide which side

Is right or wrong, the

decisions cloud my vision

But when a door has closed

Another

Opportunity arose

So maybe it’s

Time for change

Move on

Let bygones be gone

Just move on

‘Cause the best’ll come last and

The past is vast

Let’s move on

Time is everlasting

It’s an evergreen

tree we forever water, it climbs

to the sky, neverending

Cut the metaphor

Like I said before, it’d be better for us, just trust the-

stream, take a moment and hold a sliver,

Feel the sands of time slipping by,

Know that the flow all goes to the ocean

The world out there is wide

There are always unlimited things to find

And we live to all cherish it

Before it perishes

It’s right there, it’s quite rare, so take care, ‘cause

It can leave you behind

Backtrack too much and you’ll be out of time

Just put your worries aside

And come along for the ride of your life

I notice the time as the bell now strikes two

So now it’s my time to let time pass through

Not passing by,

but passing through

‘Till the last goodbye

Just passing through

Right, if you’ve been in the same niche as I have last year, these are supposed to be duets of the actual ‘Two Days into College’ and ‘Passing Through’ online. Now, I fixed my problem with telling a story… and replaced it with not being able to make the actual melody/song. Now, with Passing Through, I made up a story about how the person (maybe me, maybe Kaden the songwriter) instead of having a monologue, is having an angel and devil sit on their shoulder, and how the devil is more pessimistic towards the start but ends up agreeing with the angel towards the end, and the angel is this (perhaps overly) optimistic guy who also likes a good metaphor about life, which drives the devil insane. Anyway, the part how this is supposed to be a duet over the original comes into play when Kaden sings ‘every quarter to two’, and I/we(?) sing ‘it’s one forty-five’. And by the end of the song, ‘the bell now strikes two’, implying that our narrator just had a 15-minute panic session. Very nice detail if you ask me :)

Now, I think Passing Through has the better story and cohesiveness, but Two Days into College… man that one has some actual bars. Especially the part where Aimee (the songwriter) is talking about how ‘i’ve done wrong or i’ve done right’ and ‘i try my best to try my best’ in the quick four-syllable lines, I really had fun making them rhyme. Here are both of them:

I’m making waves

Or making way

Cuz’ I just can’t wait

For another day

So I save the date

And say today

It's fine, I'll figure it out some way

My SAT

And that diorama

My essays three, try out for the drama

So hasta la vista

And sayonara

‘cause the past has passed

Y no hay una mañana

I will say both of them do have some pretty good rhyme schemes. Very cool.

And finally, last but definitely not least because that would mean I really failed, here’s a poem/rap that I made last year for English about the best city in the world and the one I live in, Long Beach, California, since I might as well fully doxx myself at this point.

2025: I heart LB

There, on the horizon

Where the azure waves meet the cyan sky, 

Keep your eyes on it

What lies on it is a little town I call home

A little down on the road, between LA and the coast

Y’know it’s the most beautiful-est city I have ever seen

Serene and marine, it’s like living in a dream

We’re getting close now, but trust me, soon you’ll see that

LB will be the G.O.A.T. city to be at

But first, step off the boat and onto the west coast

We got the best coast all the way from here to Mexico

We got rollin’ waves and golden shores, and sure,

We’re no LA, but hey, we’re nowhere near as poor, now

First stop, docked on the boardwalk, the Queen Mary,

First off, listen up, a little talk if you care, see,

According to rumor, they say this place is haunted and scary,

But just get a room or two with a view and there we

Can spend a weekend with plenty to do on the contrary

It’s true!

And we got more to see today, so just follow me

All the way to LBCC

You see, it's no UC, but it's got the same beauty

And between you and me

There's so much to do, so much to see

In these roads and streets, they're home to me

Cuz we got all we could want here, all we could need here

If you’re so fond here, why not just be here?

Hey!

Where ’ya looking?

Over there?

Oh, no no no!

Don't look to the northeast!

Don’t you dare!

It's the worst and the least neat city over there

Where smog fills the air and no one cares to

Spare a fare or share, it’s no fair

It’s the place where [----] goes down

The place where every face is a frown

Where downtown, the only thing that awaits you

Is the feeling of hearing your thoughts drown

In the sound of traffic that surrounds you

It’s the place where Lady Luck couldn’t hand ‘ya less

It’s Los Angeles

Over there, they be shootin’ and lootin’

Them brutes and vandals caught up in violence and scandals

They’re a nuisance, and my two cents

They’re out for your cents and dollars,

It makes no sense, sometimes you just gotta holler

And while they’re out fightin’, you’re stuck on the I-10

In a traffic jam, man, it’s manic and panic

It’s chaos without no plan, it’s a disaster

If only the cars could go any faster

So let me allay your fears

And steer you away from LA and into the clear

Cuz here we’ve got museums and aquariums,

You see ‘em, and there we unwind

And pass the time, it’s a pastime

If you’re on board with the idea

Then come aboard and you can see a

Whale or two on a sightseeing cruise with the crew

And if you’re bored, you’ll learn

There is Ferris Bueller’s house

On the streets there’s murals all about

This amazing town, just look around

At the greatest city in the world

That we're living in right now

LA don’t stand a chance to me

The answer’s LB

Understand it’s the king

Rock bands on the scene

It’s grand to me

The best sand I’ve seen

Between land and sea

It makes me wanna…

Do a poem

Not really much commentary here, the work speaks for itself. And because I’m too tired to write anything else. This one was for an assignment last year where we had to write a persuasive poem, and my god I think I nailed it. I mean, what else is there about Long Beach that I didn’t put? Besides the homeless people, that’s just… kinda everywhere in California. And I mean, references everywhere, we got Hamilton, Epic, Little Shop of Horrors (first and only time I heard the phrase ‘Lady Luck’) and even Shrek. Also, my geography apparently sucks because LA is to the northwest of LB, not the northeast. Really makes you wonder how I don’t get lost Geocaching. And it actually tells a story! It’s a tour guide walking you through LB! And each section kinda has its own flow to it, and the fake out at the end (I tried my best to make it sound like ‘dance and sing’ at the end) it’s just *chef’s kiss* in my opinion. That is, until I do something next year and immediately see what I did wrong here.

Though the afternoon was full of energy, not a single living being was in sight, for they knew better than to be outside during a storm. Except… me. Safely under the elevated patio, the storm’s menacing demeanour didn’t deter me. In fact, quite the opposite. I was enthralled by its playfulness, the way it ebbed and flowed without rhyme or reason. Droplets trickled down the roof, diving off the eaves and forming a shimmering curtain of water surrounding the patio, dividing safe, dry land from wet, raging storm. I cautiously stuck my head out, opening my eyes as I emerged past the invisible barrier. Immediately, the rush of wind nipped at my cheeks, the sounds of wind, rain, and thunder now amplified tenfold. Water streamed down my face and into my cupped hands as I felt each drop land in that ephemeral pool. I enjoyed every second of it.

The moment passed, and the storm was picking up its pace, so I withdrew my head, letting the water from my hands fall as one giant globe. Though many would grumble about the storm, bemoaning having to postpone their errands and whatnot, it brought much-needed life to the land, even if its ways were slightly aggressive. Storms like these didn’t come very often. In fact, this was the first rain in what seemed like years, after weeks of cowardly drizzles coming and going, barely quenching the cracked ground’s desperate thirst. Indeed, this was the first proper storm, a storm that turned the roads into raging rivers and gave a glossy look to the world, as if you had tears in your eyes. As it turned out, we were in a drought. At least, that was what I gleaned from the few minutes I watched the news before getting bored and switching it to a better channel. It was hard to pay attention to adult things like droughts and viruses and voting when the school cafeteria’s hum and buzz were about much more important topics, like deaths of famous sportsballers. 

Turning around, I observed my backyard, filled with sprawling, scraggly bushes competing with towering banana trees visible a block away. The rain had given these creatures no mercy either, and while the tops were frantically swaying like streamers, the bottoms remained stoic. Pools of water collected on each emerald leaf, growing and growing until it could not support the weight anymore, and emptied itself, only for the water to fall onto another leaf, eventually finding its way to the ground after the better part of a minute. It was unpredictable, yet very regular. I could watch it for hours.

***

Hours passed, and eventually the storm’s temper had calmed down, sparing us from a dark and surely miserable night. The clouds, exhausted, started to depart, though the sun was still worryingly absent from the sky. The remaining precipitation was scattered and light. Entire patches of the world appeared oddly desaturated, as if the world had been lit by a million dim candles, while other areas were uncannily highlighted. Birds, bugs, and other critters cautiously emerged from their hiding holes, inspecting their new world. Unfortunately, peace and calm had returned, and my show was coming to an end. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the green scents of dew.

Boom! The sound jolted me. It sounded like a thunderclap - but too sharp, too close, too high-pitched. This was strange indeed. I took a brisk jog to the front yard, playfully sidestepping the puddles that dotted the driveway. Careful not to slip, my head is down, trying to keep momentum while avoiding the dark pitfalls. At last, I made it to the sidewalk without incident. My guard down, I looked up, curious to finally see what had caused such a noise. My heart sank.

Trash littered the road. Two parallel black marks were etched on the concrete. The purple recycling bin was upturned, knocked over like a bowling pin. Resting on it was a bike tire, its metal completely bent out of shape. The rest of the bike lay on the sidewalk, perfectly framing the corpse. It was a pallid lump of flesh and bone in the shape of a human being, sprawled out on the grey road helplessly. Its breath came in short, ragged breaths, fighting to inhale and exhale one more time. Layers of clothes, mist, and a glassy pool of wine-red blood diluted with rainwater did their best to obscure the man, though his face remained visible. It did not appear injured, nor was it contorted into grotesque positions. In fact, it only looked as if the man were suffering a nightmare that would pass at any moment when he woke up. And I wished that he would wake up.

The bitter haze swirled around me, locking me in place even as it entered my mouth and stung my throat, preventing me from uttering a guttural cry. I could not look away. My world came to a standstill as my eyes froze on the man’s form, as his desperate breaths, one by one, dissipated into the winter air, never to be seen again. And with no one else to share the sight, I became the sole witness to the tragedy. Though I had never met the man and knew nothing about him, at that moment I understood exactly who he was. I felt as if I was opening my eyes for the first time.

The bang of doors slamming shut awoke me from my trance. Neighbours started investigating the cause of the sound, before quite audibly gasping and running over. Still dressed in purple stripy pajamas, casual grey shorts, and brown work clothes, they formed a semicircle around the scene of the incident, joining me. Their poorly masked horror was evident on their faces as they looked to the man, and then each other. Frantic whispers broke the eerie quietness of the evening, the sounds echoing around me and combining until they all blurred together into white noise. Cruelly, the clouds only now departed, letting a singular beam of sun, a diagonal golden pillar, break through the grey day and fall upon everyone. For such a tragedy, it was so perfectly composed. A million thoughts raced through my head as I desperately looked up at the people surrounding me. They always had answers, why couldn’t they now? I whirled around and told a lady to call the police, to which she barely pieced together a sentence about how two other people were already doing so.

Finally, I came across an idea. Turning around, I tore myself from the scene as the neighbours panicked, some on the line with the police and others turning back to their houses, trying to scour the sight from their minds. I ran as fast as I could in my flip flops, no longer yielding to the puddles as I wheeled around the backyard and, summoning all the strength I could, banged my little fists on the door window as hard as I could. I cried, at the sight of the man, at the dampness of my clothes, at the helplessness of the situation. Tears streamed down my face as I looked to the sky for answers. I cried and cried until my wails had turned into irregular sniffles and I heard the thumping of footsteps coming towards the door. Sensing the urgency of the situation, he let me drag him down the driveway and towards the street. However, as soon as he got close enough to see past the gaps in the crowd, he clapped a hand over my eyes and led me back inside as quickly as I led him out. Bewildered, I fought back, convinced he hadn’t seen the man, otherwise why wouldn’t he be helping? Doing something, anything? Instead, he led me inside, dropping me off in the bathroom and telling me to take a shower. 

I looked at the water. It wasn’t the same. I didn’t want to move, and I didn’t want to leave. So I curled up into a ball, believing that if I stayed as still as could be, it would all change eventually, that everything would fix itself and the world would be righted once more. Despite all that, I kept shaking violently, from the cold or from fear, it didn’t matter. The sound of water falling and hitting the tile, and being sucked down the drain filled my ears.

Then, a wail of an ambulance. It echoed through the bathroom walls, distorting into a ghastly lament. It got louder and louder, then stopped. Desperate to get some closure, I hurried up and left the bathroom, opening the front door this time.

A silver ambulance had arrived, with paramedics streaming out of it. They loaded the pale man onto a white stretcher, before loading him into the ambulance and out of sight. Now content, the neighbours began regressing to their houses, a mix of faded wooden tones, as the ambulance turned on its flashing lights and sped off. What remained were the tar-black skid marks on the glossy grey road, underneath scattered bleached clouds and an off-white sky.