Undergoing

Helloooo, I’m shifting my blog from wordpress to substack! The shift will be slow, because I have wayyy too many blogs, but after I post all my blogs from here to there- I will be deleting this page 😦 I know all you loyal blog-likers (love y’all) ❤ so if you’re on substack please follow me there <333 Link to substack Thank you for your love here!!!

There’s a difference between a woman’s nose and a man’s nose- yes, there is. A woman’s nose is a woman’s nose. If it was a man’s, there wouldn’t have been a problem. That’s where the root cause lies. Why do we, as females- have body parts? Like female arms, for example. I was recently sent back home from school for wearing inappropriate clothes. My Political Science female teacher sent me back…

After reading my blogs, people often assume- “Anushka gets offended so quickly, she gets angry over everything, she’s the activist type, I think.” In this era, if you are not any of the aforementioned- you are enjoying your façade of a life inside the box put over your head since birth. Very few people around me boycott brands, when I try to spread awareness of how each shining silver can of…

I have so much to say about this world as a woman. Why do I say so less? Why can’t I ever call out the men making fun of my human characteristics? There’s so much frustration in my mind following the enlightenment I have gained about ‘beauty’. I recently realized- beauty standards for women are deeply rooted in Pedophilia. Every day I go to my college and hang out with the same group of guys who…

On what basis do humans hate other humans? Are there any other species on earth that absolutely hate each other? I have never seen a tiger hate another tiger because it didn’t have the same exact stripes on it’s body. I have never seen a parrot hate another parrot because it has learned a different set of words. I have never seen a hamster hate another hamster because they have different owners.…

I saw my family falling apart for the first back when I was 12, when my parents kept fighting till I fell asleep, when my sister and I held hands and cried ourselves to sleep- scared that they’ll file a divorce by the morning. That was the first time I realized that a family could fall apart. Second was when it actually fell apart- at 13 when one of us died. You can feel death in the air- right…

Adulthood is slowly creeping into me, an overall decline of interest in life, no longer having the fear of missing out on social situations, and doing everything in exchange for success. College has made me realise how much I loved going to school. Back when attendance wasn’t a problem, you came because you felt like you had to, and because there’s a sports period today. Even the most boring…

Kids are losing their souls, their innocence, their purity, even their virginity. Kids. And this is infuriating to not only the Boomers and Millennials, but a huge part of Gen-z itself. But social media is not the root cause of this, I know- shocking. It’s actually the parents. When I was a child, I had these same feelings of being different, and matured compared to other kids. I had these same…

Creative block is a period in every artist’s life where they hit rock-bottom. It is an abrupt stop to ideas; an absolute null. Your mind can no longer think, or feel- because to create is to feel. You could refer to this block as an exhaustion of ideas, but I think it is quite the opposite. I think it is the overflow of ideas. When you spill water from overflowing the glass, you let it spill onto…

I never understood the phrase- ‘Hair holds memories’, but I always resonated with it because I feel everything that is slightly poetic. Is it the hairstyle that holds memories or the hair type? My curly hair has nothing to do with my bad memories and my space-buns have nothing to do with the people I’ve left behind. Then I realized one day as I gazed at my hair in the mirror- when did my hair get…

Happy Independence Day! We celebrate this day in honor of all the freedom fighters that helped free our India from the British government. The treatment they gave us Indians was not even fathomable. They exploited us economically, drained our whole country’s wealth, their harsh economic policies and taxes led to widespread poverty, and we will always remember the Jallianwala Bagh massacre. You…

We are cavemen in concrete jungles. We hunt for survival, we kill animals for food, we use fire to ward off enemies, we rape women, impregnate them, and leave them behind to impregnate another, we use animal skin for clothes, and we can’t communicate. We don’t care about the world- as for us the world is only our cave. Any other cave is a threat. We will steal from other caves, even from those…

I couldn’t wait to get into college. I wanted individuality, independence, confidence, and that grown up feeling of taking my laptop to school. I didn’t want to wear this crusty uniform anymore; I didn’t want the teacher to scold me for taking two strands of hair out of my ponytail. I wanted to be a fashionista- expressing my personality through even my fingernails. I wanted to put kajal everyday…

Oh, love is such a whimsical feeling, it is like bright fireworks in the night sky, like the cold breeze on a harsh summer day, like fresh water after you sweat and play. Love is all about the little joys in life. The little joys and huge sads. Yes, I said it right. Love makes you feel all the small joys of daily life you used to miss before; it is a mysterious emotion that turns nostalgia into a…

Some of my favourite brand of shoes would be Mary Janes, Doc Martens, and Converse. They were my first ever ambitions in life- to own those black heels from Mary Janes; those loafers from Doc Martens; and the famous blue sneakers of Converse. I never imagined I could ask my parents for them because I cared too much about their money. Another one of my ambitions would be learning ballet, but I couldn’t do that either because I cared too much about my parent’s money- I felt as if telling them my ambitions would put unnecessary pressure on them. These are things I want to achieve on my own in life- I don’t want to drink alcohol ever because I want to be different, I never cuss people out because I want to be different, my ambitions work in the opposite direction because I want to be different; I want to have ambitions that will astonish people. That is my privilege.

I never talk about this life-altering experience of mine, so I end up filling my diaries with it. It’s something that lingers on my mind even now, and makes me realise it hasn’t really been that long. I’ve spent thirteen years with my mother and four without, but it feels the other way around. Did I ever have a mother? I don’t even remember how she looked, or sounded, or felt. I didn’t realise it- but I was quite young when my mother died. Drowned in anime, 13-year-old me never thought death would come so close to her- because she’s the main character of her life and nothing bad ever happens to the main character. Maybe I didn’t watch enough anime.