No More Than Two Braincells Reside Here

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” Rowan’s voice drifted through her thoughts, something poking her in the arm, and Aelin blinked heavily, rubbing her eyes as she sat up, meeting those laughing green eyes sitting at the desk next to her.

Oh. She was still in class.

“Class ended a few minutes ago,” Rowan said, leaning over to grab his backpack, and hers. “You fell asleep about ten minutes in.”

“Shit,” Aelin grumbled, pushing herself to a weak stand. Luckily it was a lecture hall, and they sat in the back, so the chances that the professor had noticed were slim to none. If he’d even care anyway. “Any chance we can stop and get coffee?” She rubbed at her face again, trying to wake up. 

Rowan just snorted, slotting into place at her side as they headed out of the building. Spring was falling over Doranelle, and the University campus was beginning to bloom, warming up but still holding onto that lingering chill from winter. 

“Any reason why you’re so tired today?” He questioned instead of answering, and Aelin just shrugged, refusing to look at him. Truth was, she’d barely gotten any sleep the night before because she’d started crying over him and couldn’t stop. Aelin didn’t even remember what had triggered it, something she’d watched on TV that’d made her think of him, and sent her spiraling down into those thoughts of hopelessness once again. 

But she couldn’t tell him that.

It was getting harder and harder to pretend she didn’t feel the way she did, but she had to. Because she couldn’t lose him.

“Just busy studying,” she said instead, forcing a teasing smile. “I’m gonna beat your score on this next exam.” 

“Oh really?” Rowan said, cocking an eyebrow, a look that did terrible things to her body. “Are you sure about that?” She looked away, trying to hide the way her cheeks flamed. 

“Yep,” she said, “you’ll see in our epic study extravaganza tomorrow. I know everything.” 

The epic study extravaganza was something they’d started freshman year. They’d get a bunch of junk food, the only time Rowan ever ate it, and more caffeine than was healthy, and studied the entire day before the day before their exam. The day before, they relaxed, confident that they were prepared.

It was one of her favorite traditions, not because of the effectiveness of their studying, but because it was a full day with him, days that had caused some of their best memories. 

“About that,” Rowan said, and a pit of dread formed in her stomach. “You know that girl in my history class, Lyria?” 

Lyria. Right. That’s why she’d been crying her eyes out the night before. Lyria. A pretty, sweet brunette in Rowan’s history class, the one class they didn’t have together. He’d met her the first day of the semester, and had mentioned her a few times here and there. 

And he’d told Aelin yesterday that she’d finally asked him out for coffee, and he’d said yes. Yes. 

“What about her?” Aelin asked, kicking a rock as she walked down the sidewalk. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rowan string a hand through his hair, a clear sign of his nerves, but she still refused to look. 

“She can’t get coffee on Friday anymore, so she asked if we could go tomorrow instead,” he said, and Aelin’s heart squeezed painfully. 

“Oh.”

“I’ll still be able to come over after that,” Rowan hurried to say, and she just nodded absently. “Just not as early as usual. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding her head. Even if her heart begged to say something differently. “No worries. It’s fine.” 

He looked at her like he didn’t believe her, and she couldn’t blame him. She didn’t sound convincing. But she couldn’t handle his concern right now.

“I just remembered,” she cleared her throat. “I have to meet Lysandra for something real quick. I’ll see you later.” 

“Ae-”

She grabbed her backpack back from him, not letting him finish as she turned and walked the opposite direction, heading anywhere but back to where he was standing, hiding the sudden resurgence of tears streaming down her face.

It was fine. She was fine. Right?

-----

The next day, time seemed to move exponentially slower than usual as she waited for any news from Rowan. Aelin had gone out to the store in the morning, gathering the junkiest junk food she could find, and a pack of energy drinks and coffee, pretending like everything was normal. 

Then she’d gotten back to her apartment and set out the stash of food on her kitchen counter, laying it out for easy grabbing. 

Then she’d turned on her speaker, jamming out to some Taylor Swift as she got her school stuff ready. It was the one day a year that Rowan would willingly listen to her music, though he’d stopped complaining when she turned it on in the car. He was a secret swiftie, and she was determined to get him to admit it.

And then, once all of that was done, she waited.

What was the point in starting without him? 

Noon rolled around, and then 1, and then 2, and she let herself eat a little bit of the food, glancing at the clock as she did. 

He was supposed to meet her at eleven, what could really be taking that long? 

She paced around her apartment, chewing her lip to shreds as she fought back yet another round of tears. 

3… 4…

She finally decided to try and study by herself, but she couldn’t concentrate, the words blurring on the computer screen. 

She shut the lid in frustration. 

5…6…

Aelin collapsed on her couch, staring up at the ceiling and letting the music soak her senses.

“Stupid girl, I should’ve known, I should’ve known,” taylor swift sang, “that im not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale-“

Aelin reached for her phone, shutting off the music. She couldn’t listen to it anymore. A single tear slipped down her face and she squeezed her eyes shut.

Was this her life? Was she damned to be a fool in love with someone who never even looked her way? Rowan never saw her like that, never. She was stupid for even hoping. 

A sob escaped her and she curled up in a ball, letting the despair take over yet again. 

And then, her phone rang.

Aelin hesitated for a moment, letting it ring out. But as soon as the call ended, it rang again. She sniffed and pushed herself up to a sit, reaching for the device. 

Rowan’s name flashed across the screen, and she considered not answering, but her traitorous thumb hit accept. 

“Aelin, I’m so sorry,” his voice came through the speaker, clearly distressed. Aelin just fell back onto the couch, rolling onto her back as she held up the phone. 

“It's okay,” she croaked, an absolute lie. 

“It's not okay,” he corrected, “I'm sorry it took me so long. We got coffee, and then we were both hungry so we got food, and then she needed help on something for class and I just got distracted and - im on my way now.”

She closed her eyes, a sense of clarity finally settling in her. 

“No, it's fine,” she said, “go back to Lyria, I'm fine studying by myself.”  She could practically feel his shock. “I’m not going to beg you to spend time with me. I'm worth more than that. So if you've found something you think is better, then I’m happy for you.” Her voice broke. “But I'm not fighting for second place.”

“Ae-“

She hung up, tossing her phone to the side. And then for the fourth time that day, she cried. 

——

Hours later, the sun had set and the clouds had rolled in, showering the world in heavy rain. 

Aelin settled into some sort of despondent state, laying there and fading in and out of reality. She’d spilled the truth, kind of. It was left to him to decide what to do with it. 

If he never spoke to her again, that was his decision. Yet, she couldn’t help but wish that he’d show up at her door in the pouring rain, and sweep her into an all consuming kiss on the sidewalk as she came outside. 

And just take away this pain.

Gods, was she quoting Taylor Swift now? This was the real world, it wasn’t a song. If Rowan wanted to do something, he would’ve by now. 

No, she was just left alone here, listening to the raindrops pattering against her windows. 

“Aelin!” A familiar voice yelled through the rain, paired with a knock that was apparently not the rain like she’d thought. 

“What the hell?” She said as he shouted her name again, pounding on her front door. She stood up quickly, hurrying over to the apartment entrance. 

But she hesitated before opening the door; did she want to see him? 

Yes. Always yes, no matter what he came here to say. 

But she didn't expect what came out of mouth the second she opened the door.

“You’re never second place,” he said, his green eyes breathtaking in the rain. “You’re never anything but the most important person in my life, Aelin. I love you.” 

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but stare into his eyes. His silver hair was flattened on his forehead, his clothes soaked with rain water that kept pouring down, crushing the bouquet of flowers he held in his hand. 

“You-“ she managed to say. “What?” 

“I love you,” he declared again. “I have for years. I thought it was hopeless, so when Lyria asked me out I said yes to try and move on, but it's always been you.” He shook his head, his voice cracking. “I stalled today because I couldn’t face you after wishing all day that it was you I was on a date with instead of her. But I-“ he loosed a breath. “I was an asshole for it, and I’m here to apologize and beg for a chance again, and if there is anyway you can maybe love me back I-“

She cut him off by stepping out into the rain and pulling him down into a searing kiss. 

Aelin had no words for the feeling that rushed through her at that simple kiss, like a thousand fireworks shining in the sky. 

Like sparks flying. 

She giggled at the thought, pulling away from the kiss. But she didn't let him get far, resting her forehead against his. 

“I love you, too,” she whispered, barely audible above the rain now soaking her. A blinding smile grew on Rowan’s face.

“Yeah?” He asked, like he couldn’t believe it. She nodded, smiling back.

“I love you so much,” she confessed, “so much.”

An incredulous laugh escaped him and he lifted her into his arms, kissing her deeply. And then he spun her around, rain flinging off of them both. 

“We’re idiots,” he chuckled as he set her down. Aelin smiled up at him, smoothing back a strand of his wet hair.

“Yes we are,” she agreed, “but we’re idiots in love.”

Finally.

----

@shyvioletcat 

@courtofjurdan 

@leiawritesstories 

@elentiyawhitethorn

@westofmoon 

@mariamuses 

@cretaceous-therapod 

@rowaelinrambling 

@foughtconquered 

@swankii-art-teacher 

@rowaelinismyotp

 @live-the-fangirl-life 

@sailorsassley 

@claralady 

@gracie-rosee 

@theinfernalbookworm 

@larisssss 

@peppermint-fae 

@charlizeed 

@llyncooljones 

@justreadertings 

@backtobl4ck 

@wordsafterhours 

@story-scribbler 

@mybloodrunsblue 

@sexy-dumpster-fire 

@dealfea 

@whoever-you-choose-to-love 

@tomtenadia 

@house-of-galathynius 

@1islessthan3books 

@fangirlprincess09

 @superspiritfestival

 @fromthelibraryofemilyj 

@rowanaelinn 

@gwynethhberdara 

@baxian-argos 

@thewayshedreamed 

@aelinchocolatelover 

@emilyoftheshadows 

@rhysands-whore 

@gigglinggummybears 

@shadowwolf777 

@fireheart-violet 

@firestarsandseneschals 

@wishfulimaginings 

@thegreyj 

@fireheartwhitethorn4ever 

@rhysandswingspan