Operation Pergola

I’m like if all your deleted files and crumpled post-it notes were a person

This 🤏🏻 close to caving to salt nic stg

Yall may not know this but I hold 30 Rock in very high regard

Oh my god, I love fucking with spam callers. It’s the worst/best part of my day. You are no one, you’re being shady about why you’ve called me, and you have THE AUDACITY to call me back and ask why I hung up. Okay ‘Shaun’ and your ‘Undisclosed Comapany’ (who can’t list his own ‘Last Name’ or the ‘Firm Owner’), let me take a message down. ‘Effyouseekay, why oh you??’ Yep I’ve got it! Call you soon.

Pronouns couldn’t be used to offend me regardless of whether you wanted them to. I recognize my body presents female to you and I accept your tendency to refer to it as such. I’m more complex than the human binary gender scale allows me to describe but I’m not bothered nor energetic enough to declare a definition for myself amongst my peers. It is not a crime to be recognized as female and if that is my fate so be it.

Why did I get an email about Jev.’s show all excited like like “Antwerp I’m coming your way!!” when the absolutely soonest I could possibly be in Antwerp is 12 hours from now and I’d have have to be soooooo much more impulsive to even make that happen?? Baby. Call me when you come to my town. Thanks.

Booked like a library

I get frustrated when people spell Inzo as Enzo but I don’t usually express it cuz technically Enzo is a real name and it’s my own doing naming Inzo after Inzo but it isn’t my fault Mike Inzano decided to go by Inzo and I can’t expect everyone to understand the source material but when I have typed/written Inzo and they still spell it Enzo it irks me.

I wish yall could’ve seen that