What's freedom for the pike is death for the minnow

Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There’s no escape. I’m God’s lonely man. 

Finn and Archie had been friends a very long time. Yeah, Finn considered him his best mate. He loved the lad and would do anything for him. The two saw each other down the chippy and Archie wasn’t looking himself. Finn thought it odd, considering everything was sorted now. He suggested going for a chat. Him and Archie weren’t the best at letting people know how they feel but that was something Archie said he wanted to change. Finn wasn’t so sure. He liked being a little closed off, a little secretive, even though this meant he seemed like a right grumpy sod to outsiders. This didn’t matter though, as long as the gang and Rae understood him. They were the only real ones that did and he was thankful for that. Everything that had happened recently, it taught him that everyone had stuff and sometimes they didn’t wanna talk about it. But sometimes that’s actually what you need the most. The chats Finn has had with Rae since everything, they’ve been open and they’ve become closer because of it. It was weird, Finn and Rae seemed to work just as well when they weren’t together. That’s what was so good about their relationship. They were best mates. Like him and Arch. With a slight difference of course.

Finn finished football practice - one of the only things he enjoyed now that he left college and moved out. During that period, it became harder to see everyone and he missed it. Last summer, the summer of ‘96… that was the best time of his life and he wanted to get that back. He didn’t have enough time to head back to his flat to change, Archie was probably already on his way. Archie had a tendency to be stupidly early. Finn packed his kit away and took a quick shower.

Walking past the pitch, he noticed the weather changing. It wasn’t cold anymore, the sun seemed to want to come out and be enjoyed by everyone but there was something holding it back. Finn walked past a young family on the seesaw and headed for the swings. This was his most used spot in the park. It’s where him and Archie had spent so many hours talking over the years. It’s where he and Rae has that chat. It’s where he’d taken himself to be alone and just think.

Finn was someone Archie wanted to confide in, but neither of the two boys could bring themselves to do it. That awful toxic masculinity. But there was this kind of unspoken agreement between the two, which was especially evident after Archie came out, that even if they didn’t say how they felt, they would back each other. Being friends for 12 years meant something, even if they didn’t tell each other that. Finn agreeing to meeting for a chat was music to Archie’s ears, neither were talkers but Archie needed this – otherwise, he felt like he’d explode.

Archie found Finn on the swings, he brushed down the swing before sitting down on it and turned to Finn, giving him a weak smile.

“It’s ‘lright, bud.” He offered Archie a cigarette, even though he knew Archie didn’t smoke, not seriously anyway. As expected, his friend waved it away and started to fiddle with his specs. One of the many things he knew Archie did when he was nervous. For the first time, Finn felt an awkwardness between them. After 12 years of friendship, 12 years of playing football, mucking about down the rec, going down the pub. This feeling, it wasn’t nice. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted Archie to be happy, he was his best mate and only wanted the best for him. He got that things were going to be tough for a while, it wasn’t going to be all smiles and roses. Life wasn’t like that all the time. Everyone had stuff they had to fight to deal with. But Finn didn’t like seeing any of the gang like this, especially Archie. 

Archie laughed at the thought of Chop. “That’s Chop, for ‘ya. Always thinking up something.”

Archie hadn’t been feeling himself lately. He didn’t know what the was wrong, really. Everything was fine at college - he was getting straight A’s as usual, the gang was all back together and he’d finally come out to everyone. But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was like he still he had his little secret. It was like there was something he didn’t want everyone to find out. 

Bumping into Chop was perfect. It gave him a distraction. And Chop’s solution to anyone feeling slightly down was to drink. And today, Archie didn’t care about how bad it was door you or how he was slowly loosing money. Especially after quitting his job at the leisure centre (which was mainly to do with this random stress and panic attacks Archie was experiencing. 

Archie left his house at quarter to, he fancied a walk - maybe it would help him calm down a little and collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t be acting like this in front of Chop. Archie loved Chop, but it wasn’t like it was with Finn. Him and Finn had been friends since primary. It was like they had a special bond, something that no one else could touch. Chop on the other hand crashed into their lives during secondary. He’d always been this chilled out, cool, easy-going lad who loved to party. That was what made him so great, you could just forget all of your worries and have a laugh with him. You never had to be serious. But he’d always be there for you if you did. 

Chop had a lot of mates. He was what you’d call a people pleaser. Those dickhead lads from college, the ones giving Archie a hard time, well, Chop didn’t wanna muck it all up. He had a pretty good set up, but he knew what they were saying and doing was wrong. Archie was one of his best mates and he should never had let it got so far. He’d been a right tosser to be frank. This drink would be perfect to make sure everything was alright between the two. He was sure it would be, I mean Chop doesn’t go around kissing all of his mates. 

Chop walked towards the pub, taking in the sunshine. His tan was slowly coming back and he couldn’t wait for the summer. The summer with the gang was always lit. Heading out to the pubs, house parties, more sexy parties - the lot! He walked through the doors, greeted the lad behind the bar with his cheeky smile and got two pints in. He found the usual spot the gang located and sat down. He kept checking his watch and straightening out his tracksuit bottoms, like he was trying to impress someone. Archie may seem like a bit of a toff, but Chop didn’t get why he was acting so nervous. 

Chop couldn’t be more relieved when Archie walked through the door, even if he was looking rather flustered. He smiled and signalled him over, pointing out he’d got the first round it.

Archie chuckled at how happy Chop was. That was one of the great things about Chop; he always seem so happy and if he wasn’t he’d find a way to make that so. Archie wouldn’t say he was a sad person, but after everything that happened he was finding it hard to be happy all the time. Maybe he was just stressed. This was his last summer in Stanford before he left for uni. It was a scary thought. Or maybe he’d just become overwhelmed with the past few weeks and it had finally toppled him. Whatever the case, a pint with Chop would always do you good.

“Alright? Yeah I know mate, I think everyone’s just needed a bit of space, you know.” Archie paused, mulling over what to say next. What to say without ‘annoying’ Chop. “A lots happened.” He glanced down at his glass, took a quick swig of the drink and looked Chop straight in the eyes. He could see his friend looking down, at his half-empty glass, as if he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed.

Chop noticed Archie looking at him, he knew exactly what he was thinking but didn’t want to bring everything up again. He thought everything was sweet but maybe that wasn’t the case.

“Nah, everything’s fine. Think when we don’t see everyone, it gets me worried. But yeah.” He gave his friend a reassuring smile, to signal everything was good between them. Then Chop mentioned parties. And not just a normal party but the legendary sexy parties. Archie couldn’t help but laugh at his friend.

He glanced up to see Chop walking towards him, with two more pints. His friend passed him and they both cheers each other. Chop seemed to be glad that Archie was in a better mood, thinking it was down to him. Which it could be said, it was. 

“Now that is the question Arch! I ain’t saying I dunno the plan yet, but don’t ‘ya worry ‘cos I will! It’ll be a chance for ‘ya to finally get laid, eh?” Chop chuckled nervously, unsure whether the joke was too far. When a small smile crept from Archie’s mouth, like it couldn’t help but escape, he knew it wasn’t a touchy subject. “But, er …I wanted to ask ‘ya summat.” Chop paused, gearing up to ask Archie. He did feel like he was prying, mainly because Archie hadn’t shared a lot about his love-life since coming out, mainly because of the way Chop had reacted which he felt badly for. But they were friends and he wanted to show an interest. It was no different than talking to Finn about Rae, or vice-versa. 

He’d never really spoken to Chop about his love-life, only before, which was whenever Archie was gone for a few days (busy with studying or work), Chop would ask about who the girl was keeping him so busy. But that was as far as it went. But now, well Chop had every right to ask about guys, it’s just what people did. But up until recently, he could only confine in Rae, so this was all very new. 

“A lot’s happened since then, Chop.” He laughed at his own comment, he couldn’t have been more right. “There’s been…other lads, ya know. But…” He thought to himself for a minute, that night after Barney kissed him during spin-the-bottle, he spent basically all night with him. They just chatted, about basically everything. Barney had hung out with the gang a little before, he was friendlier with Chop and Finn, but that night something just clicked between them and Archie couldn’t help himself get interested. Barney was funny, knew how to tell a good story and not a bad kisser. It was just nice, especially during that time as Archie was so bloody confused about everything concerning his sexuality. But nothing happened, not really. They never kissed again, just spent the night together. But it allowed him to realise that, yes, he did like guys and that was all thanks to Barney. Afterwards, he never really spoke about it to anyone. Him and Barney stayed friends, but nothing ever happened. Archie sometimes wondered what would have happened if it did. Barney was quite a flirtatious person, so he was hard to read and Archie didn’t want to go exposing himself back then. But now, well he was a free agent, but that was months ago and well…

He could see Chop hanging on to his word, so he coughed and allowed Barney to escape his mind. 

Chop could tell there was something more, he didn’t think Archie was holding anything back but… he could tell Archie liked Barney and maybe…but nah.  

“Right, sorry mate. I didn’t wanna pry, ya know. It’s your business. I just…wondered ‘cos…well you’re me mate and I just want ya to be ‘appy.” Chop forced a weak smile. That was true, he did want Archie to be happy, not just with his sexuality but in general. The whole reason he suggested going to the pub was because Archie was looking pretty down. 

The mention of Izzy made Chop blush a little. He’d been so oblivious to her, but once he got her it was the best thing he could have done. They were good, really good now. The past few weeks had been tough, but they understood each other better now. Yeah, Izzy shouldn’t have kissed that Peter tosser. But Chop should have been a better mate to Archie. They’d both made mistakes, but realised it just in time to save their relationship. 

The only time Chop ever tended to blush was when he was talking about Izzy, he was so besotted it was ridiculous. Them getting back together was probably a turning point in the gang. They were always so positive and kind, when everything fell apart between them, between Finn and Rae, with Chloe going missing, it was like 

“Well I won’t deny that, mate. Everything’s cool now though.” Archie gave his friend a smile, a proper one this time. 

Finn and Archie had been friends a very long time. Yeah, Finn considered him his best mate. He loved the lad and would do anything for him. The two saw each other down the chippy and Archie wasn’t looking himself. Finn thought it odd, considering everything was sorted now. He suggested going for a chat. Him and Archie weren’t the best at letting people know how they feel but that was something Archie said he wanted to change. Finn wasn’t so sure. He liked being a little closed off, a little secretive, even though this meant he seemed like a right grumpy sod to outsiders. This didn’t matter though, as long as the gang and Rae understood him. They were the only real ones that did and he was thankful for that. Everything that had happened recently, it taught him that everyone had stuff and sometimes they didn’t wanna talk about it. But sometimes that’s actually what you need the most. The chats Finn has had with Rae since everything, they’ve been open and they’ve become closer because of it. It was weird, Finn and Rae seemed to work just as well when they weren’t together. That’s what was so good about their relationship. They were best mates. Like him and Arch. With a slight difference of course.

Finn finished football practice - one of the only things he enjoyed now that he left college and moved out. During that period, it became harder to see everyone and he missed it. Last summer, the summer of ‘96… that was the best time of his life and he wanted to get that back. He didn’t have enough time to head back to his flat to change, Archie was probably already on his way. Archie had a tendency to be stupidly early. Finn packed his kit away and took a quick shower.

Walking past the pitch, he noticed the weather changing. It wasn’t cold anymore, the sun seemed to want to come out and be enjoyed by everyone but there was something holding it back. Finn walked past a young family on the seesaw and headed for the swings. This was his most used spot in the park. It’s where him and Archie had spent so many hours talking over the years. It’s where he and Rae has that chat. It’s where he’d taken himself to be alone and just think.

Finn was someone Archie wanted to confide in, but neither of the two boys could bring themselves to do it. That awful toxic masculinity. But there was this kind of unspoken agreement between the two, which was especially evident after Archie came out, that even if they didn’t say how they felt, they would back each other. Being friends for 12 years meant something, even if they didn’t tell each other that. Finn agreeing to meeting for a chat was music to Archie’s ears, neither were talkers but Archie needed this – otherwise, he felt like he’d explode.

Archie found Finn on the swings, he brushed down the swing before sitting down on it and turned to Finn, giving him a weak smile.

Archie hadn’t been feeling himself lately. He didn’t know what the was wrong, really. Everything was fine at college - he was getting straight A’s as usual, the gang was all back together and he’d finally come out to everyone. But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was like he still he had his little secret. It was like there was something he didn’t want everyone to find out. 

Bumping into Chop was perfect. It gave him a distraction. And Chop’s solution to anyone feeling slightly down was to drink. And today, Archie didn’t care about how bad it was door you or how he was slowly loosing money. Especially after quitting his job at the leisure centre (which was mainly to do with this random stress and panic attacks Archie was experiencing. 

Archie left his house at quarter to, he fancied a walk - maybe it would help him calm down a little and collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t be acting like this in front of Chop. Archie loved Chop, but it wasn’t like it was with Finn. Him and Finn had been friends since primary. It was like they had a special bond, something that no one else could touch. Chop on the other hand crashed into their lives during secondary. He’d always been this chilled out, cool, easy-going lad who loved to party. That was what made him so great, you could just forget all of your worries and have a laugh with him. You never had to be serious. But he’d always be there for you if you did. 

Chop had a lot of mates. He was what you’d call a people pleaser. Those dickhead lads from college, the ones giving Archie a hard time, well, Chop didn’t wanna muck it all up. He had a pretty good set up, but he knew what they were saying and doing was wrong. Archie was one of his best mates and he should never had let it got so far. He’d been a right tosser to be frank. This drink would be perfect to make sure everything was alright between the two. He was sure it would be, I mean Chop doesn’t go around kissing all of his mates. 

Chop walked towards the pub, taking in the sunshine. His tan was slowly coming back and he couldn’t wait for the summer. The summer with the gang was always lit. Heading out to the pubs, house parties, more sexy parties - the lot! He walked through the doors, greeted the lad behind the bar with his cheeky smile and got two pints in. He found the usual spot the gang located and sat down. He kept checking his watch and straightening out his tracksuit bottoms, like he was trying to impress someone. Archie may seem like a bit of a toff, but Chop didn’t get why he was acting so nervous. 

Chop couldn’t be more relieved when Archie walked through the door, even if he was looking rather flustered. He smiled and signalled him over, pointing out he’d got the first round it.

Archie chuckled at how happy Chop was. That was one of the great things about Chop; he always seem so happy and if he wasn’t he’d find a way to make that so. Archie wouldn’t say he was a sad person, but after everything that happened he was finding it hard to be happy all the time. Maybe he was just stressed. This was his last summer in Stanford before he left for uni. It was a scary thought. Or maybe he’d just become overwhelmed with the past few weeks and it had finally toppled him. Whatever the case, a pint with Chop would always do you good.

“Alright? Yeah I know mate, I think everyone’s just needed a bit of space, you know.” Archie paused, mulling over what to say next. What to say without ‘annoying’ Chop. “A lots happened.” He glanced down at his glass, took a quick swig of the drink and looked Chop straight in the eyes. He could see his friend looking down, at his half-empty glass, as if he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed.

Chop noticed Archie looking at him, he knew exactly what he was thinking but didn’t want to bring everything up again. He thought everything was sweet but maybe that wasn’t the case.

“Nah, everything’s fine. Think when we don’t see everyone, it gets me worried. But yeah.” He gave his friend a reassuring smile, to signal everything was good between them. Then Chop mentioned parties. And not just a normal party but the legendary sexy parties. Archie couldn’t help but laugh at his friend.

He glanced up to see Chop walking towards him, with two more pints. His friend passed him and they both cheers each other. Chop seemed to be glad that Archie was in a better mood, thinking it was down to him. Which it could be said, it was. 

“Now that is the question Arch! I ain’t saying I dunno the plan yet, but don’t ‘ya worry ‘cos I will! It’ll be a chance for ‘ya to finally get laid, eh?” Chop chuckled nervously, unsure whether the joke was too far. When a small smile crept from Archie’s mouth, like it couldn’t help but escape, he knew it wasn’t a touchy subject. “But, er …I wanted to ask ‘ya summat.” Chop paused, gearing up to ask Archie. He did feel like he was prying, mainly because Archie hadn’t shared a lot about his love-life since coming out, mainly because of the way Chop had reacted which he felt badly for. But they were friends and he wanted to show an interest. It was no different than talking to Finn about Rae, or vice-versa. 

He’d never really spoken to Chop about his love-life, only before, which was whenever Archie was gone for a few days (busy with studying or work), Chop would ask about who the girl was keeping him so busy. But that was as far as it went. But now, well Chop had every right to ask about guys, it’s just what people did. But up until recently, he could only confine in Rae, so this was all very new. 

“A lot’s happened since then, Chop.” He laughed at his own comment, he couldn’t have been more right. “There’s been...other lads, ya know. But...” He thought to himself for a minute, that night after Barney kissed him during spin-the-bottle, he spent basically all night with him. They just chatted, about basically everything. Barney had hung out with the gang a little before, he was friendlier with Chop and Finn, but that night something just clicked between them and Archie couldn’t help himself get interested. Barney was funny, knew how to tell a good story and not a bad kisser. It was just nice, especially during that time as Archie was so bloody confused about everything concerning his sexuality. But nothing happened, not really. They never kissed again, just spent the night together. But it allowed him to realise that, yes, he did like guys and that was all thanks to Barney. Afterwards, he never really spoke about it to anyone. Him and Barney stayed friends, but nothing ever happened. Archie sometimes wondered what would have happened if it did. Barney was quite a flirtatious person, so he was hard to read and Archie didn’t want to go exposing himself back then. But now, well he was a free agent, but that was months ago and well...

He could see Chop hanging on to his word, so he coughed and allowed Barney to escape his mind. 

Archie hadn’t been feeling himself lately. He didn’t know what the was wrong, really. Everything was fine at college - he was getting straight A’s as usual, the gang was all back together and he’d finally come out to everyone. But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was like he still he had his little secret. It was like there was something he didn’t want everyone to find out. 

Bumping into Chop was perfect. It gave him a distraction. And Chop’s solution to anyone feeling slightly down was to drink. And today, Archie didn’t care about how bad it was door you or how he was slowly loosing money. Especially after quitting his job at the leisure centre (which was mainly to do with this random stress and panic attacks Archie was experiencing. 

Archie left his house at quarter to, he fancied a walk - maybe it would help him calm down a little and collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t be acting like this in front of Chop. Archie loved Chop, but it wasn’t like it was with Finn. Him and Finn had been friends since primary. It was like they had a special bond, something that no one else could touch. Chop on the other hand crashed into their lives during secondary. He’d always been this chilled out, cool, easy-going lad who loved to party. That was what made him so great, you could just forget all of your worries and have a laugh with him. You never had to be serious. But he’d always be there for you if you did. 

Chop had a lot of mates. He was what you’d call a people pleaser. Those dickhead lads from college, the ones giving Archie a hard time, well, Chop didn’t wanna muck it all up. He had a pretty good set up, but he knew what they were saying and doing was wrong. Archie was one of his best mates and he should never had let it got so far. He’d been a right tosser to be frank. This drink would be perfect to make sure everything was alright between the two. He was sure it would be, I mean Chop doesn’t go around kissing all of his mates. 

Chop walked towards the pub, taking in the sunshine. His tan was slowly coming back and he couldn’t wait for the summer. The summer with the gang was always lit. Heading out to the pubs, house parties, more sexy parties - the lot! He walked through the doors, greeted the lad behind the bar with his cheeky smile and got two pints in. He found the usual spot the gang located and sat down. He kept checking his watch and straightening out his tracksuit bottoms, like he was trying to impress someone. Archie may seem like a bit of a toff, but Chop didn’t get why he was acting so nervous. 

Chop couldn’t be more relieved when Archie walked through the door, even if he was looking rather flustered. He smiled and signalled him over, pointing out he’d got the first round it.

Archie chuckled at how happy Chop was. That was one of the great things about Chop; he always seem so happy and if he wasn’t he’d find a way to make that so. Archie wouldn’t say he was a sad person, but after everything that happened he was finding it hard to be happy all the time. Maybe he was just stressed. This was his last summer in Stanford before he left for uni. It was a scary thought. Or maybe he’d just become overwhelmed with the past few weeks and it had finally toppled him. Whatever the case, a pint with Chop would always do you good.

“Alright? Yeah I know mate, I think everyone’s just needed a bit of space, you know.” Archie paused, mulling over what to say next. What to say without ‘annoying’ Chop. “A lots happened.” He glanced down at his glass, took a quick swig of the drink and looked Chop straight in the eyes. He could see his friend looking down, at his half-empty glass, as if he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed.

Chop noticed Archie looking at him, he knew exactly what he was thinking but didn’t want to bring everything up again. He thought everything was sweet but maybe that wasn’t the case.

“Nah, everything’s fine. Think when we don’t see everyone, it gets me worried. But yeah.” He gave his friend a reassuring smile, to signal everything was good between them. Then Chop mentioned parties. And not just a normal party but the legendary sexy parties. Archie couldn’t help but laugh at his friend.

He glanced up to see Chop walking towards him, with two more pints. His friend passed him and they both cheers each other. Chop seemed to be glad that Archie was in a better mood, thinking it was down to him. Which it could be said, it was. 

Archie hadn’t been feeling himself lately. He didn’t know what the was wrong, really. Everything was fine at college - he was getting straight A’s as usual, the gang was all back together and he’d finally come out to everyone. But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was like he still he had his little secret. It was like there was something he didn’t want everyone to find out. 

Bumping into Chop was perfect. It gave him a distraction. And Chop’s solution to anyone feeling slightly down was to drink. And today, Archie didn’t care about how bad it was door you or how he was slowly loosing money. Especially after quitting his job at the leisure centre (which was mainly to do with this random stress and panic attacks Archie was experiencing. 

Archie left his house at quarter to, he fancied a walk - maybe it would help him calm down a little and collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t be acting like this in front of Chop. Archie loved Chop, but it wasn’t like it was with Finn. Him and Finn had been friends since primary. It was like they had a special bond, something that no one else could touch. Chop on the other hand crashed into their lives during secondary. He’d always been this chilled out, cool, easy-going lad who loved to party. That was what made him so great, you could just forget all of your worries and have a laugh with him. You never had to be serious. But he’d always be there for you if you did. 

Chop had a lot of mates. He was what you’d call a people pleaser. Those dickhead lads from college, the ones giving Archie a hard time, well, Chop didn’t wanna muck it all up. He had a pretty good set up, but he knew what they were saying and doing was wrong. Archie was one of his best mates and he should never had let it got so far. He’d been a right tosser to be frank. This drink would be perfect to make sure everything was alright between the two. He was sure it would be, I mean Chop doesn’t go around kissing all of his mates. 

Chop walked towards the pub, taking in the sunshine. His tan was slowly coming back and he couldn’t wait for the summer. The summer with the gang was always lit. Heading out to the pubs, house parties, more sexy parties - the lot! He walked through the doors, greeted the lad behind the bar with his cheeky smile and got two pints in. He found the usual spot the gang located and sat down. He kept checking his watch and straightening out his tracksuit bottoms, like he was trying to impress someone. Archie may seem like a bit of a toff, but Chop didn’t get why he was acting so nervous. 

Chop couldn’t be more relieved when Archie walked through the door, even if he was looking rather flustered. He smiled and signalled him over, pointing out he’d got the first round it.

Archie chuckled at how happy Chop was. That was one of the great things about Chop; he always seem so happy and if he wasn’t he’d find a way to make that so. Archie wouldn’t say he was a sad person, but after everything that happened he was finding it hard to be happy all the time. Maybe he was just stressed. This was his last summer in Stanford before he left for uni. It was a scary thought. Or maybe he’d just become overwhelmed with the past few weeks and it had finally toppled him. Whatever the case, a pint with Chop would always do you good.

“Alright? Yeah I know mate, I think everyone’s just needed a bit of space, you know.” Archie paused, mulling over what to say next. What to say without ‘annoying’ Chop. “A lots happened.” He glanced down at his glass, took a quick swig of the drink and looked Chop straight in the eyes. He could see his friend looking down, at his half-empty glass, as if he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed.

Chop noticed Archie looking at him, he knew exactly what he was thinking but didn’t want to bring everything up again. He thought everything was sweet but maybe that wasn’t the case.

"Nah, everything's fine. Think when we don't see everyone, it gets me worried. But yeah." He gave his friend a reassuring smile, to signal everything was good between them. Then Chop mentioned parties. And not just a normal party but the legendary sexy parties. Archie couldn't help but laugh at his friend.

Archie hadn’t been feeling himself lately. He didn’t know what the was wrong, really. Everything was fine at college - he was getting straight A’s as usual, the gang was all back together and he’d finally come out to everyone. But there was something nagging at the back of his mind. It was like he still he had his little secret. It was like there was something he didn’t want everyone to find out. 

Bumping into Chop was perfect. It gave him a distraction. And Chop’s solution to anyone feeling slightly down was to drink. And today, Archie didn’t care about how bad it was door you or how he was slowly loosing money. Especially after quitting his job at the leisure centre (which was mainly to do with this random stress and panic attacks Archie was experiencing. 

Archie left his house at quarter to, he fancied a walk - maybe it would help him calm down a little and collect his thoughts. He knew he couldn’t be acting like this in front of Chop. Archie loved Chop, but it wasn’t like it was with Finn. Him and Finn had been friends since primary. It was like they had a special bond, something that no one else could touch. Chop on the other hand crashed into their lives during secondary. He’d always been this chilled out, cool, easy-going lad who loved to party. That was what made him so great, you could just forget all of your worries and have a laugh with him. You never had to be serious. But he’d always be there for you if you did. 

Chop had a lot of mates. He was what you’d call a people pleaser. Those dickhead lads from college, the ones giving Archie a hard time, well, Chop didn’t wanna muck it all up. He had a pretty good set up, but he knew what they were saying and doing was wrong. Archie was one of his best mates and he should never had let it got so far. He’d been a right tosser to be frank. This drink would be perfect to make sure everything was alright between the two. He was sure it would be, I mean Chop doesn’t go around kissing all of his mates. 

Chop walked towards the pub, taking in the sunshine. His tan was slowly coming back and he couldn’t wait for the summer. The summer with the gang was always lit. Heading out to the pubs, house parties, more sexy parties - the lot! He walked through the doors, greeted the lad behind the bar with his cheeky smile and got two pints in. He found the usual spot the gang located and sat down. He kept checking his watch and straightening out his tracksuit bottoms, like he was trying to impress someone. Archie may seem like a bit of a toff, but Chop didn’t get why he was acting so nervous. 

Chop couldn’t be more relieved when Archie walked through the door, even if he was looking rather flustered. He smiled and signalled him over, pointing out he’d got the first round it.

Archie chuckled at how happy Chop was. That was one of the great things about Chop; he always seem so happy and if he wasn't he'd find a way to make that so. Archie wouldn't say he was a sad person, but after everything that happened he was finding it hard to be happy all the time. Maybe he was just stressed. This was his last summer in Stamford before he left for uni. It was a scary thought. Or maybe he'd just become overwhelmed with the past few weeks and it had finally toppled him. Whatever the case, a pint with Chop would always do you good.

"Alright? Yeah I know mate, I think everyone's just needed a bit of space, you know." Archie paused, mulling over what to say next. What to say without intiating a situstion. "A lots happened." He glanced down at his glass, took a quick swig of the drink and looked Chop straight in the eyes. He could see his friend looking down, at his half-empty glass, as if he wanted to say something but was too embarrassed.