low quality content, high quality ideas

"Speak." Rakta commands.

"Rakta my guy," a voice booms from the other end of the phone so loudly Rakta has to pull the phone away from his ear. "Listen I need to speak to someone you are with right now. He's the most beautiful person in the world. Hand him the phone."

Rakta grinds his teeth trying to control the emotions from reaching his face. "How do you even know who I am with right now?"

"it would be easier to tell you what I don't know. Now. Give. Him. The. Phone."

In his experience it's easier to just give this man what he wants, he'll never get a straight answer anyway. Begrudgingly he hands the phone to Umemiya who answers with a bubbling greeting.

"EWWW WHY IS IT YOU!" The voice is so loud it cracks into static.

"Endosan?" Umemiya asks, surprised he would ask for him. "How can I help you?"

"YOU CAN HELP BY PASSING THE PHONE TO SAKURA YOU ABSOLUTE WASTE OF SPACE."

Jingyi "ok first things first, the tavern there is notorious for having pretty severs and cheap drinks. Who we take with us is absolutely crucial."

Shizhui "what about Hungunjun? He's pretty strict but he mostly keeps his distance from us."

Jin Ling "um absolutely not, you Lans get so weird and stuck up around him. No way you'd actually cut loose if he's there. What about my uncle?"

Ouyang "gross, no offence but sect leader Cheng is a total dick to everyone including you. What about you other uncle Wei?"

Jin Ling *shutters* "absolutely not, he will spend the entire trip pining after Lan Wanji. I can not sit through another drunk sob session no matter how romantic you find it."

Jingyi "who does that leave us with then? We are so screwed."

Shizhui "hmmm we could do my uncle. If everyone is ok with that. I know that there is some baggage so Jin Ling if you are uncomfortable at all we don't have to do it!"

Endo "bull shit. You want to kid nap him."

*Days later*

Sakura "and then we kid nap him!"

Hiiragi "NO! WE ARE JUST HERE TO TALK TO HIM."

Sakura "right right talk 😉"

Then Sakura would say he won't leave with out everyone else and him and Endo have a back and forth argument through the gates and Endo reluctantly agrees to take the other first years too. But Sakura hits him with "aren't you forgetting someone?" And Endo is on the verge of loosing it but makes eye contact with Chika who's just like "hajime Umemiya 🥹"

Then Endo stomps his feet and curses up a storm before going "fine I'll get the human garbage too! Are you happy!"