MOUTH OF THE DEVIL

explaining to chicken legged lopsided dudes that when you're using the leg press, you have to put more pressure on your heels otherwise you aren't hitting the right muscle groups, and also that locking your knees is bad, and being ignored... do i not look like i know what i'm talking about... does my shirt that says TRAINER in big bold letters not tell you that maybe i know a thing or two...

you come into the breakroom at the gym where i work and see me shoving a whole full sized avocado in my mouth.

one of my clients keeps trying to convince me to join his "powerlifting team" but 1: there is no team, it's just him in his garage at home alone and 2: i have many unfair advantages so i can't compete anymore anyways.

i practically invented the repressed jock stereotype. :\

i was down right insufferable in high school and it's a miracle that sarai is still willing to associate with me.

oh no, not high school stories.

sorry for thinking that demolition lovers is one of the most romantic songs ever written.