beth

I Don't Know How to Respond to That : A novel by Me

You're My Friend, But I'm Not Good With Emotional Support: The Riverting Sequel

Tony Hawk lands a 900 at age 48!

I’ve only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you if you want.

like 99% of the time there’s a real reason I get “stuck”, maybe my next task has too many steps for my current energy level, or there are multiple things that need doing and I can’t decide which to do first, or I’m trying to think through the multi-step task but there’s an unknown factor that could throw everything off (like, ok I will go to the kitchen, I will get eggs out of the fridge, I will turn on the stove and crack eggs into a pan… but I can’t remember if that pan is clean, what if I have to wash it? better start over. I will go to the kitchen, I will wash the pan, I will get eggs out of the fridge… do we have enough eggs? etc) 

but lately I say to my partner “I’m stuck” and he says “how can I help” and I can say “I need to shift the laundry and cook dinner but I only have energy for one of those so it should be the laundry because that’s already started but I was really looking forward to cooking” and he will just quietly go shift the laundry so I can cook. Or one time I wanted to drink the iced coffee I had in the fridge because it was summer, but the AC was on and I felt cold, so I should just make hot coffee, only I had already made the cold coffee and it wouldn’t keep forever, only I was too cold to enjoy it… and eventually I told my my partner this and he just, turned off the AC?? which never would have occurred to me lol. 

and I’m writing this not to be all like “ooooh my boyfwiend uwu” but mostly because… his approach is so opposite how my parents ever responded to Can’t Do Task Mode in myself or my siblings. I remember my mom yelling at my brother “You’re stuck! GET UNSTUCK! GET UNSTUCK!” so that’s what my brain does when I’m stuck. I just yell at myself to move and don’t move and asking for help feels unbelievably shameful because I SHOULD just be able to Not Be Like This. But I’m not, and I can’t. I need help sometimes and that’s ok. Just because my brain has decided something is a Massive Obstacle doesn’t mean that it’s a proportionately Massive Burden to anyone I might ask for help. If you’re beating yourself up because you can’t handle something tiny, why shouldn’t you pass it off to someone for whom it IS tiny?

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- seem popular when you first look at them, probably attractive (it’s that pouty lip lifestyle)

- then you realize that they don’t talk to people

- then you realize that when they do talk, they talk really loudly

- then you realize, when they talk to their close friends, they won’t shut up

- except for when they’re silent for three months at a time

- then you get slapped w/ the fact that they’re A NERD (and proud of it)

- OR you never find out they’re a nerd and think everyone else is delusional for treating them like they’re the most intelligent person on the planet when clearly, this person is a big dumbass

- probably waiting for someone to do or say something interesting

- might be surrounded by people but always on the outside of the circle or latched onto one person 

- EYE CONTACT. Hands down, the easiest way to know assuming they have already acknowledged your existence. I personally don’t know what to do with my eyes during a conversation so I don’t really look away. Only look at you if they’re interested. 

- “No, oh wait, maybe…” is their go-to response (a conversation btwn INTPs is like so: “no, for this reason-” “no, you’re wrong because-” “no, because-” “no, I’m correct”)

- often really bored by whatever is happening outside of their head so they either won’t engage or will try to start a game or something

- always known as the funny friend

- easily annoyed, famous for glares, sometimes it’s meant as a joke

- in class, they wait for someone else to answer the teacher’s questions first before deciding they’ll take initiative when no one else does  — > applies to most things

- cuddly but in a particular way, likely want to be the one to initiate all forms of bodily contact once they’re close to you

- might not even like cats but 100% of people will read them as a cat-person

- intelligent but forgets a lot of shit because they just don’t care enough or haven’t had to remember that piece of knowledge in 3 yrs. 

- when they’re passionate, they’re all in, the edge of the multiverse is the limit / when they’re not, they’re gonna sleep for the next 100 yrs. and will growl at you if you wake them

- may wake up early but won’t do anything until 7:00PM-4:00 AM because it’s peak performance hour

- great at finding other people’s stuff, great at losing their own

- respond to your questions like a CIA agent, you’re on a need to know basis 

- but also will randomly spill all their secrets at 3 AM

- when someone says they’re friends w/ them they respond either like 1) “we’re friends?” *confusion* or 2) “we’ve been in love since we met” 

- their good friends know who their crush is before they know

- text you immediately but often forget you exist if you don’t constantly remind them (it’s okay, they forget they exist)

- love you lots but are also trying not to be too attached

- kinda nice but also analyzing your every move and storing it in their mental bank 

- they will remember really specific things about you and will either use this to tell when you’re lying or to get you great birthday presents

- don’t trust you but supposedly they should give people the benefit of the doubt

- if you insult them, they will look at you blankly because they’re trying to figure out if you meant that as an insult, if they care about you, and if they care at all

- competitive but unmotivated at the same time

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