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I truly believe that a brain dump notebook should be a student staple. Whether it's physical or digital doesn't matter. Because I'll have all of the following in the same notebook; my workout plan for the semester, some drafting for psych quiz given to me by my evil AI obsessed prof, and the regulation of glycolysis and CAC. It can be messy, cute, but most importantly functional.

Usually starting a study session is hard to do because there’s the small hurdle of actually starting. This method will set you up to prime yourself for the task in a way that's low effort and frankly kind of cute if you use colours and stickers to indicate different things.

Colour-coding is one of the best ways to organize your info while also keeping it messy. As mentioned above, I had the quiz drafting written butter yellow so I knew exactly where my psych quiz ideas were drafted before the quiz. I also wrote and still write little notes in red to remember certain crucial pieces of info or to indicate corrections for myself during active recall.

The tape/sticker function in Goodnotes is also useful for blocking out definitions or bits of a pathway for an easy way to imbed active recall. So when I wanted to test myself, I just tapped on the tape to reveal the answer and tapped again to cover it up. You can do this with sticky notes or flaps of paper too!

You can format it the way you want and it doesn't have to structured. But here are a few other uses for it:

A revision notebook to write down the key ideas from today's lecture and for review.

Your study log with the topics and time your covered them.

A home for your 500 to do lists so you can cross them out as you go.

Where you can record all of your questions from lecture/class and jot down any advice or answers your instructor might give you.

Basically, the possibilities are endless! So I really recommend having some sort of space or hub to let your mind loose before you start your study session.

Xo,

nini

I am aware that there is a lot of information on this blog - plenty of detail and explanation into the mindset and procedure of Male Chastity play. Perhaps too much detail!?

I get a large amount of emails and messages asking for a simple place to start, and while I usually point them to the very first post in this blog, I think the time has come to provide a quick 'Cheat Sheet' for those of you who need to recap or want to get started quickly and dig into the details later. As a starting point, here are some hotlinks to the main sections of the blog:

Introducing Male Chastity Play

The Science of Male Chastity

When to allow Release

How to allow Release

Teasing in T&D / Chastity Play

In addition to these articles, I will also provide a quick 'Cheat Sheet' based on a summary of the information above, blending in my 10+ years of experience as well as hints and tips I've picked up along the way. Here we go!

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WHY MALE CHASTITY?

Chastity play is the best example of 'power exchange play' where the (usually) female keyholder takes control of the couple's sexual dynamic.

Handing over control of their sexual release is a highly arousing experience for males. The tease and denial that comes with it heightens sexual excitement, increases the male's energy levels and (most importantly) makes YOU the focus of the sexual experience.

Male chastity play is not about having less sex - in fact, most couples in chastity play have a significantly more active sexual dynamic than the 'vanilla sex twice a month' crowd.

WHAT DO KEYHOLDERS DO?

Hold the keys and control when and how release takes place (see links) .

Set, communicate and enforce the keyholding rules at the start of the lockup.     

Tease - to keep arousal in peak state throughout lockup.

Make the most of (literally!) holding him by the balls ;).

BASIC KEYHOLDER RULES:

The wife can choose the chastity device. If you don’t feel like buying them then he should present you with a few options, colors and sizes.

It is no longer his penis - it is your 'nub'. Take ownership.

Hold the keys, keep them safe, do not let him access them - take it seriously.

The wife decides when the male will be unlocked, allowed an erection, or allowed release. SEPARATE the concept of 'unlock= orgasm'. In most cases it’s unlocked purely for teasing or training, for example.

TEASE AND DENIAL

The way to maximize benefits and (again, counterintuitively) maximize his chastity experience is teasing / arousal. This does not have to take a lot of time or effort. My ideal teasing effort is 2-5 minutes a day, or every second day… mix it up.

Is teasing cruel for the locked male? Absolutely not. Denial after 2-3 weeks of lockup is often described by locked males as "feeling like being half way to orgasm 100% of time". Quite heady stuff.

Some basic ideas:

Talk about his predicament: Tell him you like how it looks, how tight it must be, how full his balls look… Ask him to show it to you as a 'cage check’ at random times.

Make fun of it! “Ah sweet such a cute little nub.” A little-known side-effect: locked boys leak precum like crazy. Tease him about his constant ‘dribbling’ or ‘wet spot’ - you are sure to fire up even more production 😂.

Tell him to sleep naked now and again. Join him in the shower. When at home, make him wear tight clothing where the cage is clearly visible.

Play with his balls. With the nub locked, his exposed balls are infinitely more sensitive. Tickling / stroking will be irritating - what he will need is squeezing, slapping, hitting. Start slowly and build up intensity - he will tell you when to stop. Women are way too gentle with balls in general - most makes prefer far more rough play than they let on. Let him guide you if you are unsure.

Play with the cage - stroke any exposed bits, blow on it, whatever!

Kiss - the fastest way to turn him on, and it will make him strain in his cage. For added heat, hold his cage / balls while kissing.

Make him worship your body: make him go down on you, massage you, stroke you... use your imagination! Denying him an orgasm DEFINITELY does not mean reducing your orgasm count.

Nipple Play: With his cock locked, his nipples will heighten in sensitivity dramatically. Play with them by using nipple clamps, clothespins or even just by pinching and squeezing. Be careful, some locked males have been known to cum from just nipple play alone!

Edging: Stimulate your male until he reaches the edge of orgasm – then  pause or dramatically slow down your play to prevent him from climaxing.  You can do this many times in a row. This is extremely pleasurable for him, because it prolongs his pleasure and ultimately gives him a much stronger orgasm when compared to regular sex when you finally decide to  let him pop – although, of course, you can always change your mind and lock him back up before that happens.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED RELEASE?

This is up to you! If you are new to chastity play, I recommend a minimum 3 week initial lock up - no unlocking, no release whatsoever. 3 weeks is a full week beyond the typical 14 day prolactin/oxytocin cycle that follows a full orgasm in males. We want to maximize oxytocin (caring, devotion, sexual energy) buildup (14+ days) and minimize prolactin (grumpy, tired, loss of libido), which usually starts to stabilise at the 14 day mark.

Beyond that?

Feel  free to go with a fixed schedule, such as one ejaculation allowed per 3 weeks, if that makes things easier for you – but don’t make it too  predictable, so also consider delaying or skipping a release date.

For more experienced lovers, it is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity for their male that initial enforcement of chastity should be at least  three months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the  break in period of getting a device that fits.

HOW SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED RELEASE?

So many options!

Penis-in-vagina (PIV) orgasm: I discourage this one because I feel that sex and ejaculation need to be separated  to avoid accidents. We have sex several times per week and ejaculation  is never expected and rarely a topic of conversation. But if you do  enjoy the feeling of him ejaculating inside you, then you can of course  go ahead and allow him. Sex with a dildo or with him wearing a cock sheath means you get all the benefits of hot PIV sex without him having to orgasm.

Handjobs: The easiest and quickest for you! To spice it up, use a Timer - for example, if  his last ejaculation was two weeks ago, you could give him two minutes  to cum. If he doesn’t make it in time, he will be re-locked. If you don't feel like unlocking him, simply use a vibrator / electric massager on his cage - the vibrations will eventually lead to a strange, unsatisfying orgasm (perfect!).

Masturbation: Tell him to masturbate in front of you. Again, use a timer here to increase the pressure!

Prostate stimulation: If you are into this sort of thing, did you know you can actually 'milk' a male. It's true. Stimulating the prostate in the right way will lead to semen release without any orgasm and without even the need to unlock the nub.

Finally, and my favorite: The 'Touchless (aka Ruined) Orgasm': stimulate him until just before the “point of no  return” and then remove your hand and stop all stimulation. If you time  it right, instead of ejaculating in “bursts”, the semen flows  effortlessly down the penis – hence they are also misleadingly called  “ruined” orgasms. If done correctly, he will still be horny afterwards  and will stay hard as a rock, still wanting more. Perfect!

THAT'S IT!

Levels of Orgasm Control and Chastity - A Guide for 'Vanilla' Keyholders

There are many different kinds of orgasm control. The chastity/denial/control dynamic exists on a spectrum and - as you will see from the countless resources online - there is no one 'right answer'. I've had a large number of DMs requesting variations of the blog posts that I have put out there so far - many of which ask for a 'watered down' version that they can take to their significant other as a way to start the chastity / orgasm control conversation. The most interesting questions are from more typically 'vanilla' wives and girlfriends who have clearly been sent my blog by their husbands / boyfriends and are at a loss to find ways to make this dynamic work. So this article will be a very basic guide to a 'gentle' start in this space to see if you and your partner can make it work.

Starting Out

In most cases in this dynamic, the man has initiated this conversation. First off - well done to him for plucking up the courage to tell you about his desires and fantasies. He's probably been thinking about it for ages and it's healthy to have this openness and vulnerability in a relationship.

Secondly, the most important thing to remember, is that he is proposing that you take the reins in terms of your sexual play. This is crucial, because if you truly take the reins, it means that you don't have to do exactly what he is proposing. You can, and should, put your own spin on things.

Teasing, denial and chastity are all essentially about orgasm control. This means that you man is saying to you that he would like you to take charge of when and how he orgasms. It's as simple as that. If you choose to participate and make this part of your play, this should be the starting point of all of your decisions. So, I'll say it again: "This is about you taking charge of when and how he orgasms."

Again, Why Does He Want This?

I am not going to spend much time on this question, as there are other posts and many resources about this online. However, the cliff notes:

"Not orgasming" for a long period has a profound, often positive, impact over a male's hormones and headspace.

Giving you control may be a turn on for him.

It spices things up in long term relationships.

Some men use it to break habits like masturbation / porn.

It helps a lot of men focus more, exercise more and sleep better.

It's sexy and fun to have you in control.

etc.

There are many benefits for you as the female, but again, these have been outlined ad nauseam. More cliff notes:

No pressure on you for sex

However, you get sex when and how you want it.

Cages look sexy

You set the rules

You can often 'redirect' the male's sexual energy into other things like service, massages, exercising and more.

etc

The Spectrum of Orgasm Control

Here is an opinionated view on the 'levels' of orgasm control you can choose from (or blend) if you and your man decide to give this thing a spin.

All orgasm control dynamics operate under the premise that your man is simply not allowed to orgasm without your permission. Should it be during sex, play or even him masturbating, he must wait for your express permission before he goes over the edge.

Chastity cages often play a role in this spectrum because they serve as a constant reminder and/or partial barrier that the male's choice to orgasm is no longer his own.

1. Not Locked

Here, the male does not wear a chastity cage and is free to touch, pleasure and edge himself at will. He is simply not allowed to come.

This is the simplest form of orgasm control for you as there's no cage component, but, interestingly, it's extremely difficult for him, as it relies purely on his evolution-proven, questionable sexual self control. It requires Buddha-level quantities of zen for most males to not sneak an orgasm while unlocked after 2-3 weeks of denial.

In my view, a major benefit of using chastity in this dynamic is that it is impossible for him to get hard while locked. This reality really keeps his erotic urges in check.

2. Self-locked

Here, you say to your man that you encourage, or are happy, for him to wear a chastity cage during his denial periods, but the locking and management thereof is purely up to him. There is no need to communicate about the lock ups, and the male is using this on his own accord to help control his desires.

This is a good place to start for couples beginning their chastity play which you both get the hang of things, and is also often a landing spot for those looking only for the lowest admin play.

3. Sometimes Locked

Here, you as the female will be more active in the lock up process - primarily by instructing your male to lock up for a specific period of time. You will decide the parameters for when it will be locked on, and when it will be removed, and the male is not allowed to unlock without your permission. In most cases here, you will actually physically keep the key, aka become the 'keyholder'.

This is probably the most 'standard' version of chastity that is practiced by couples, as it is more collaborative in nature. The male may be locked for portions of each month, 'every now and then', for trips, for events like 'Locktober' or 'No Nut November' or for randomly timed durations decided upon by the keyholder.

This is most 'active' version of keyholding as you will be steering the decision-making here. It's also potentially the most fun as there is an uncertainty and anticipation on the part of the male which is hugely exciting for them.

4. Default Locked

In this situation, the expectation is that the male is locked unless there is a clear exception in the form of agreed instances where he can be unlocked - like doctor's appointments, cleaning, certain sports, or airport security. Or, of course, if you want him to be unlocked for sexual reasons. There no need to define a lockup period, because there is no a 'period', per se. He's locked and can only unlock for pre-defined reasons or emergencies.

This is a more intense version of chastity for the male, but is significantly easier for you as the keyholder, as you don't need to set or manage lock up or release periods.

When Default mode is on, you will allow your man to unlock for his doctor's appointment, and then he will relock when it's over. You may unlock him for sex, but as soon as it's over, he will refit the cage immediately. No need for discussions or negotiations, and no questions asked.

Locking Pragmatics

Some keyholders are fans of dealing with the cage all that much, and enforce their keyholding by telling their man to lock themselves and present them the key.

Some keyholders really enjoy this little ritual, and like doing the cage fitting themselves.

Some keyholders want to avoid having their man touch or even see their unlocked penis at all, so will have their men bound and blindfolded at all times when the cage is unlocked.

Again, this is a spectrum. Pick and choose.

I'm Super 'Vanilla' - Where Should I Start?

Short answer - wherever you like.

But my recommendation? I would start in the 'Sometimes Locked' space. Let your man do the locking up part. Try it for a couple of weeks per month - maybe something like the first two weeks of the month are 'locked' weeks. Get a sense of how things go, what you like and what you don't like.

If your man tries to talk you out of your suggested lock up period, or tries to 'top from the bottom', then remind him that you will do this by your rules or not at all. Trust is everything here, and remember that it's ultimately about having a good time.

Expand your Knowledge

Read some other articles or blogs about some of the ins, outs and practicalities.

I've been losing track of time recently - been very busy at work, traveling and we've doing some renovations to our home... One person who never loses track of time, however... a locked male.

For the first time in a while I asked him how long since he was last unlocked. I had genuinely forgotten, assuming it was in our usual 2-3 week window. "9 weeks," he said. I nodded.

I am impressed. One of my major rules about this whole thing is that he can't talk about it - especially when it comes to timelines, release dates etc. This is on my terms. He's become very disciplined about that, as hard (pun) as that must be for him. I have not been neglecting him, of course - nearly nightly there is some form of touch or sexual play. I often hold his nub and balls in my hand and marvel how full / tights / smooth / neat they are. But this time I had simply forgotten the 'release' part.

I few weeks back he gave me one of the best oral orgasms of my life, and I told him that I might keep him locked longer as "the training is clearly working". I think this sent his sexual energy into overdrive. I often know this is the case when he spends extra time at the gym or goes on longer runs / cycles.

Well, last night he was unlocked for a surprise release. I did some nipple teasing and told him to hold the headboard until I told him otherwise. While unlocking the cage, his breathing increased intensely, and before I even removed it fully, he had a ruined release right there in the cage. No skin contact, no erection, no 'orgasm'. He didn't ask, and I hadn't given him permission, so I literally just pushed the cage back on and re-locked his nub.

He sighed, and I smiled. "The training is definitely working," I told him.

twitter.com/MsFLRcoach.

I’m starting to see more and more women walking around the office, stores, bars, restaurants, even the beach, with keys like this around their ankle or necklace. I give them a knowing grin as my own key dangles between my cleavage. Sometimes they are alone quietly enjoying themselves. Other times with friends, but more frequently then not they have their husband or boyfriend in tow. He’s usually walking a step behind her, listening to her, being attentive, carrying her bags, etc.. All the things you’ve read when you read about the benefits of male chastity. An astute observer will recognize the dynamic in play as more and more women are discovering the benefits of male chastity. You can see through her body language and her expressions that she exudes confidence and power. The experience for him is likely very humbling and degrading, but this is all part of learning his role and thriving in a Female Led Relationship.

I always wonder how many people understand the meaning and symbolism of the chastity key on display? How many others get it? While male chastity is rapidly growing in acceptance it is not yet mainstream. I believe male chastity to be the cornerstone of a Female Led Relationship. Through the power of the internet, social media, and various forums dedicated to this trending lifestyle, the practice of chastising males has grown exponentially in the last decade, as more and more women embrace matriarchy and enjoy the benefits of leading their men. There is no reason to think the growth of FLR’s won’t continue to spread and in the very new future, male chastity and the FLR’s will be the new normal of the “Modern Marriage”

With all that said, I encourage all women to research the benefits and strongly consider locking his cock and enjoying the harmony that accompany a Female Led Relationship. If you’ve already taken this step, wear the key to his cock proudly and confidently. Being a keyholder is a wonderful thing and others should know of the benefits it could provide them. Show off his obedience to your friends or other women you interact with on a daily basis. If is up to those of us that “get it” to promote this growing lifestyle.

Please comment and interact with me at twitter.com/MsFLRcoach.

Image credit: merrylander.tumblr.com

How to Cuckold Your Husband

Introduction Turning your husband into a cuckold can be one of the most rewarding things you ever do. A successfully cuckolded husband will be completely submissive. He will satisfy all your sexual cravings, manage all the mundane chores of your life, allow you to sleep with whomever you wish, subject himself to any amount of humiliation you desire, and of course, love you unconditionally. But be warned, cuckolding can also be one of the most challenging things you ever do. The process is long, complicated, energy consuming, and by no means sure of success. The strain on your marriage will be unbelievable, and it may be weeks or months before you succeed. In the end though, it will be worth it. Hopefully this will help educate women on how to begin the wonderful journey of female domination and to hopefully relieve some of the apprehension that might prevent a woman from ever trying. After reading this it will be clearer that cuckolding your husband is not as hard as it seems, and that accomplishing this feat is more possible than you thought. The most common reason a women doesn’t cuckold her husband is that she thinks he’ll never go for it - that he’s not the type. This is such a myth that it must be dispelled immediately. Many cuckolds begin as ordinary husbands. Your husband may even be as manly as men come, but don’t worry, cuckolding is often a just a matter of helping your hubby discover his submissive side. Take heart in the fact that underneath all his machissimo and pride, there is a cock loving wimp that is begging you to force him to do all sorts of nasty things.  First train yourself Think of cuckolding as an expertise. For the wife who decides to cuckold her husband, she must have complete mastery of certain skills. Much like in any profession - she must go to school, read, and practice. So like a professional, before you ever begin training your husband, you must first train yourself. You’re about to go on an incredible journey; you want to be prepared, right?  The world of cuckolding is unlike the normal world. It has various rules and customs that are different from everyday life, of which you must be aware. You must immerse yourself in this new culture. To begin, start reading erotic stories that deal with cuckolding. Many women before you have cuckolded their husbands and recorded their experiences. Also many men have written about their decent into female domination. Learn from them. Reading stories will acquaint you to the new world of cuckolding and will prevent you from having to reinvent anything. Beyond stories, you may want to read books on female domination, and buy videos of dominatrixes humiliating men.  You must also train yourself to be sexually independent. If you want to control your husband you need to not need his penis. In the future you will need to deny your husband the pleasures of your body and this will be only possible if you are strong enough to abstain from sex. Sex between you and your hubby is probably pretty vanilla anyway if you’re thinking about cuckolding him, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Masturbate often. Splurge on vibrators, dildos, lotions, clothing, and pornography. Have fun! Visit your local sex shop and ask for ideas. You may also want to think about buying toys that, after using on yourself, you can also use on your husband once he’s properly trained. The key is whenever you really have the urge for a fucking, train yourself to seek satisfaction from a source other than your husband. For example, when you’re horny, take out your vibrator.  A good way to help your training along is to change your appearance. Make it your goal to become a hotwife. The prime focus of a hotwife is expressing her sexuality in all manners, from the type of shoes she wears to the way she shaves her pussy. A hotwife wears tight fitting clothes as much as she can. She wears short skirts, perfume, and high-heels all the time. She does her hair and wears makeup daily. At night she wears sexy lingerie. She goes to the gym often. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t wear underwear. If you start doing thing like these, not only will you be sending a signal to your husband that you’ve changed, but you’ll be sending a signal to yourself. Because you look like a hotwife, you’ll think you’re a hotwife, and then you’ll be a hotwife! The advantages to being a hotwife are numerous. You’re husband will lust for you much more, even if he doesn’t show it, other men will croon over you (this will increase your confidence), and your sexual energy will increase, all of which you can channel into power. Also feel free to start flirting. It’s probably been a long time since you’ve flirted with another man, so you’ll need practice. Look men in the eyes and smile. If you drop something in the office, bend over without bending your knees. At night go out with girlfriends that like to party. Make it a goal to flirt with at least one man a day. The key is to increase you’re confidence. Not only will it be very satisfying to know that there are other men out there who are interested in you, but in the back of your mind you can use this knowledge as leverage against your husband. Beginning Once you’ve properly educated yourself in the art cuckolding, freed yourself from your husband’s dick, and increased your confidence, it’s time to begin. The first submission of your husband is the most challenging phase of the process. Even if he wants to be your slave, he will resist. There are many reasons he will do this like gender stereotypes and the years of routine between you, but first and foremost will be that he wants to save-face. Not only can he not admit to you that he wants to be your bitch, but he can’t admit it to himself either. He will never just give you power over him even though he wants to. This would violate his manhood. You need to take it from him - it’s the only way.  During this time, the power in your relationship will be in flux. Neither of you will be sure where the other stands. This uncertainty will be uncomfortable for both of you because it is human nature to order the world. You will have doubts such as, “Am I being too hard on him?” “Was this a good idea?” “Did I ruin our marriage?” These are completely normal thoughts, but you must never share them with your husband. It will have to be your own private burden. Sharing thoughts of uncertainty will only insert doubt in his mind and show weakness. His uncertainty will be twice that of yours, so you must be the guiding hand for him.  Broaching the Subject You’ll definitely want to let him know what’s going on. If he doesn’t, how can he play along? Remember, you husband wants to be cuckolded. You only need to break the ice. For example: Has your husband ever mentioned how you’d feel about a threesome, swinging, or anything extramarital? This may be a good place to start if he did. First make your husband really hot in a way that still allows you to talk to him, like by giving him a hand job. Once he’s near orgasm ask him, “Hey honey, remember that time you mentioned having a threesome? Do you still feel the same about it?” Judge his reaction. His eyes may light up or his heart may start beating faster. He’ll try to hide his excitement of course. He’ll ask, “Would you really consider it?” And you can say, “Well I’ve been thinking about it. It might be fun to make some changes.” or  If you suspect your husband masturbates often, try to catch him in the act. Then you can give him hell. “Honey, I’ve had it with you! This is the last time I catch you masturbating. It’s disrespectful and disgusting. Things are going to be changing around here!” These are just a few examples of how to broach cuckolding with your husband. Note the range in ways. Also note cuckolding was never mentioned. At this early stage there is no need to be specific. The only thing you need to be concerned about is the main message: “Things are going to be changing.” Of all the stories you’ve read about wives cuckolding their husbands, choose the method you are most comfortable with.  Being Mean After you’ve let him know that things will be changing around the house, you have to follow through. Remember, he won’t just give you control, you have to take it from him. Basically you’re going to have to be mean to him. If you were raised right this will probably not be easy for you. You were taught to treat everyone with the same respect you wish to have. This is one of the hardest parts of cuckolding because you’ll be breaking the golden rule, but once you get used to it, it becomes natural. Start by taking aspects of his life away from him. One of the first things you can do is to take is his identity away. For example, feminize your husband’s name; Jack can become Jackie, Dan can become Danielle. Or childize his name; John can become Johnny, Bill can become Billy. You’re main objective is equate him with weakness - historically women and children. Actually have a conversation with him about this. Let him know that you will be calling him something new from now on. Also don’t let him call you by name anymore. Only equals can call each other by name. Force him to refer to you as “Mistress” or “Goddess.” When you ask him a yes or no question, make him respond with “Yes, Mam” or “No, Mam.” This will help condition him as a subordinate. On the same lines, you can call him nicknames like, “Little One” or “Tiny.” And refer to his penis as a “dicklet.” This will strike his insecurity with his penis size, and if he never had an insecurity, it will create one.  Other examples of being mean to your husband are to take his free time away by giving him chores, his money and possessions away by demanding he be frugal, and his sex life away by withdrawing sex. Start small, but be firm. You want him to get used to submitting, and you used to dominating. For example, make him make the bed every morning from now on instead of you. Even something as inconsequential as making the bed will have a submissive effect on him and it will be something to build on later. For example, when you feel the time is right you can add to his responsibilities, “Honey, since you’re doing such a great job making the bed everyday, I’m going to have you clean the entire bedroom every morning from now on too.” Take you time being mean. It’s more important that you are comfortable with the process than the actual process. You are training yourself to be the beautiful and terrifying wife whose husband begs to please you. Be strict with the rules you make. If your husband doesn’t take out the trash let him know your displeasure. Punish him with real consequences if he messes up.  Punishment may be many different things depending on your style. You can be passive aggressive by withdrawing sex. You can be very aggressive and spank him. You can force him to do something perverted like eating his own semen. Just make sure you communicate with him at the time of his infracture that you are displeased with him, and that there will be consequences.  Being Nice The beauty of being mean to your husband isn’t in its direct benefits, but in how it redefines being nice. Things that used to be normal for him are now special treats. He used to be able to have sex with you whenever he wanted, but because you’ve withdrawn sex from him, you’ve made it a rare event - something to behold. By being constantly mean to you husband, you’ll lower his standard of what is considered nice.  Use this concept once you’ve established a baseline of meanness, which will probably take few weeks. Once being mean has become the norm you can start. For example, let him know a reward will follow his future good behavior. You can say, “I’ve decided today that if you’re a good boy all week and do all your chores, I’ll give you a blowjob at the end of the week.” A blowjob only a few weeks ago was not worth doing an entire week of chores for, but because you’re mean now, a blowjob’s value has greatly increased. Being “nice” like this you give your husband an incentive to follow your rules – further deepening your control. It’s all about sticks and carrots. Reward him for good behavior, punish him for bad, and most importantly, remind him that he’s lessor to you. Your Pleasure First Once you’ve mastered being mean to him, you can progress to a new lesson. Train him to subordinate his pleasure to yours. His new reason for being will be solely to please his mistress. Let him know this. Things like the new car he was planning on buying make off limits. Nights out with his friends, no – he has to stay in and clean. Fishing? Nope, he’s got to do laundry.  Not only will this degrade him, but it will give you more free time. Take advantage of this and enjoy it! Go to the pool and relax, go out with your friends at night, go on dates with other men. You won’t have to worry about the kids anymore because your husband is watching them. And because you’ve forbidden him from buying that big ticket item he’s been saving for, go shopping! There’s plenty of money now, right? This the time to be a hotwife – go for it. If you don’t do these things by deciding you’d rather be nice to him, it will be to your determent. It’s up to you to fill the void of your husband’s powerlessness. If you only force him not to buy the car, but then don’t spend the freed money, you’re sending him an incomplete message. Spend the car money on yourself, and let him know, “I, your wife, don’t care about your pleasure because mine is more important.” Make sure you fill the void; you don’t want all your hard work wasted.  Changing the definition of sex This lesson is especially important. Definitely no more blowjobs. The blowjob is the epitome of giving him pleasure. Don’t even have sexual intercourse with him. Intercourse equates both of your pleasures, not exactly the message you want to send him either. If he insists on sex, have him fuck you with your favorite dildo. Make sure to mention how much bigger it is than his penis and how much you enjoy having a “real cock” in you. If you absolutely must have sex with him a good idea may be to make him wear one or two “long lasting” or numbing condoms. This will greatly reduce his pleasure. The best thing you can turn sex into is him eating you out, period. You may want to squat on his face and force him to eat your pussy, or lay on your back and make him beg to eat you. Either way, he should soon learn what you mean when you say, “Let’s have sex.” For him, at most, let him masturbate afterwards and only if he did a good job. Conditions From here you can take things further. A good way to do this is with conditions. A condition is basically a trade. For example, “Okay wimp, I’ll let you cum tonight, but you have to cum in your hand and eat it afterwards,” or “Alright bitch, I’m going to be nice tonight and let you fuck me, but afterwards you’re going to have to eat your cum from my pussy.” By using conditions, you can bring him to higher levels of submission voluntarily. This is more than worth the momentary pleasure you trade him. Once you’ve gotten your hubby to do a degrading act for the first time with a condition, the subsequent times become much easier. Let’s say it had been a month since you let you husband stick his dick in you. Then one night you offered him the chance to fuck you as long as you got to fuck him afterwards. He was so desperate to feel your soft, warm pussy, he jumped at the chance. That night you give him a good cum, then put on your strap-on dildo and stuck it in his ass for the first time. You’ve now made it much easier to fuck him in the ass for a 2nd time by breaking that initial barrier. You probably won’t need to bargain with him again, just force him. Using a condition at every major cuckold milestone is recommended. For example, when you bring another man into the relationship. This is a big step for him, so you’ll have to coax him along with rewards. Don’t use conditions forever. They are just a tool to use in the beginning stages of taming your husband. After a while you will have amassed so much power, there will be no need for them. You can just make him do whatever you want. Once you’ve reached this point using a condition will actually make you look weaker.  Congratulations!

Sometime around this point you will have reached a milestone in which you can say you’ve officially conditioned your husband to be your cuckold. Usually it occurs after you’ve forced your husband to do something so depraved that he has no self respect anymore. It may be the night you take his anal virginity, the night you come home from a bar and make him eat another man’s cum from your pussy, or the time you force him to suck another man’s larger penis. All the hard work you have done training yourself and your husband culminates here. For afterwards the change in your relationship will be so apparent that both of you will never be able to go back. He will be stricken with terrible shame and embarrassment, and you will have finally tasted the ecstasy of pure power. Also remember that with great power comes responsibility. You are now responsible for another human being. You will have to make many more decisions because he has deferred authority to you, his dominatrix. You have changed his life purpose from the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of your happiness; you must give him every opportunity to fulfill this new mission and he will be grateful to serve you. Now relax, you’ve made it! Enjoy the lifestyle perks that cuckolding has to offer. Live a life of leisure. Have you husband take care of all the mundane things. Make him do all sorts of nasty and perverted things. Sleep with other men and bring them home to play. Whatever you choose to do with your cuckold, enjoy the luxury of having the choice…:)

Female Dominance in 30 days.

Let’s face it.  You need this.  Dominant women get what they want, and people get out of the way of them when they go after it.  Either that, or they help them achieve it.  Dominance is a beautiful word, and you are a beautiful dominant inner goddess waiting to be released.

In the past, you let people walk all over you, including your husband.  You let friends, family, and others take advantage of your good nature.

In this article, we are going to teach you how to become a powerful, assertive, dominant woman that gets what she wants, when and how she wants its.

Sounds good right?

You bet it is.

However, this isn’t going to happen by reading this article once.

Bookmark this and register at femdomtraining.ca for more training in becoming more dominant.

You have years of patterns, behaviours, and reactions that all have formed part of you.

In this training session, we are going to unravel the pieces that do not work for you, and replace them with a strong, dominant woman who gets what she wants….

So listen to me very carefully right now.  This is an absolute must.  If you are going to learn how to become dominant, one of your first lessons is that you must learn self discipline.

The first discipline that is imperative for you to follow, is that you need to read this article every day for the next 30 days.

You have taken decades of your life to get to where you are right now and I am not about to be able to change you in 1 day.  However, if you give me 30 days in a row WITHOUT MISSING 1 DAY of reading this, you will change dramatically.  You can expect to find:

New found confidence and self discipline.

A 100% compliant obedient husband.

An incredible feeling of self worth and peace.

So let’s get started.

The dominant nature inside of you has always been there.  Every woman has it.  Few tap into it.

You and you alone are responsible for the way people treat you.  So, you will be re-training the people in your life to make sure that you are treated as the dominant goddess you are.

If you are to train people on how to treat you, it is not their say in what you do to train them.  It is yours, and yours alone.

Here are some proven methods to train your man so that he is 100% compliant and obedient to your will.  Always start with your man in training, because when you train him, others will follow.  To be dominant, one just needs to break another dominant person to their will, and everything else just starts to fall in place.

Pull your man aside at your earliest convenience, and have this discussion with him.

Let him know that for the next 30 days you will be training to be a dominant woman, and that his assistance in this is absolutely vital for your success.

You will require a few things of him.

Here is a list of things that you will require of him.

For the next 30 days while you are training, your husband is not allowed to cum.  There are no exceptions, and no feeling sorry for him, no matter how much he begs or pleads. NO orgasms for your man.  Period.

He is to do everything he is asked without hesitation, questions, or talking back on all matters inside and out of the bedroom.  Failure to comply will result in an extreme spanking.

He is to wear a chastity device of some kind for the full 30 days.  It will be taken off only for tease and deny sessions or penetrating sex, without any release for him.

Let him know too, that at the end of your dominance training for you to be a successful dominant, that you will require him to eat his own cum.  You will require him to shoot his load on you, and lick it off your body, and then profess to you that he surrenders his will, decisions, cock, mind, body and soul to you as his loving dominant wife.

These are your requirements for him.

Here is what you need to do over the course of these next 30 days.

1. Read this article everyday.

2.  Make him do things that he does not like to do in and out of the bedroom to push his understanding of what true submission is.

3.  Cum as often as you can by his hands, mouth, tongue, or toys.

As you start to do these things on a daily basis, your dominance will grow.

This is a REAL BOOTCAMP for your man, and it should not be pleasant for him, except for the new bedroom games you will be playing with him this month.

Aside from him doing ALL AND ANYTHING you ask for this entire month in the way of chores, in the bedroom, he will do anything you ask.  This is your chance to learn what true domination is.  This is how you awaken your desires, and unleash your inner goddess.

Your man has become your complete boy toy, with no restrictions on how you use him.

To complete training in the next 30 days, the end goal of this 30 days is to make your man eat his own cum.

Most men will gag, or hate the thought of eating their own cum, and your husband is likely no exception.  At the end of the 30 days, you are going to make him lick up every drop of his massive load off of your body, and profess to you, that he is yours eternally as your slave in and out of the bedroom.

He will do this out of sheer lust of not cumming for 30 days, and the training you will be doing all month long.

Each day, you will make him need to cum even more with teasing.  You will hint to him at times when he is very close to cuming, and desperate to cum, that the time is not right now.  Let him know that when the 30 days is up, he will be allowed to cum, but only if he eats his cum off of your body.  Constantly bring this up over the next 30 days.  You are planting suggestions in his head, so he will be able to follow through with what you ask.

Trust me when I say, that if you have him locked up for 30 days, he will do anything you want for him to cum, so this is what you want him to do.  The reasons you want him to do this, is so that you truly do dominate him.  It is all pretend until you make him do things he simply does not want to do under any circumstances.  Well, you are bending the circumstances so that YOU can make him do anything.  That is the purpose of domination.

IN this 30 days you will also fuck him regularly in the ass with a strap on, when you please.  If he protests, or is not in the mood, all the better.  This is when you do it the most.  Fuck him hard, and long until he begs for you to stop, and then a little longer after that.

This is an important part of submission training.  Each time you fuck him in the ass, he will feel humility, submission, and it works great coupled with orgasm denial to make him listen and respond to anything you say.

Make him do very degrading things during the month.

Here are some suggestions.

He should have a buttplug in as often as possible.  In fact, the only time he should have it out is when you are fucking his ass.  Somewhere in between always plugged and

sometimes plugged is likely the right place to be.  I am just a more dominant woman, and believe that my man should be plugged virtually 24/7.  It serves as a reminder to him that I am his boss.  If you try this, have 0 compassion when he begs you to take it out.  Say no.  Eventually, he will get used to it.  Use a metal one.  They are better for longterm use.

You should always make him get on his knees and suck your strap on for lube before you fuck him.

He will hate this, and you will feel very powerful with his inability to argue with you, or protest.

If he does, of course you know what happens.  He gets spanked extremely hard.

When he is in the kneeling position, and you enter your strap on into his mouth, grab the back of his head and slowly start fucking his face.  Think of the times when you were doing this for him.   Realize now, that you want him to feel true submission.

Start fucking his face hard. Make him gag on it.  Plug his nose with one hand, and fuck hard with your body and watch him gag.  This is great humility training.  It should be your goal to do this EVERYTIME you put on the strap on.  It goes hand in hand.  You need lube, and he is to provide it.

If all this humiliation becomes too much for him, and he wants to quit.  PERFECT.  You are doing a great job. If he doesn’t protest, find more humiliating things for him to do.  You are not doing your job right, if you he doesn’t want to quit at some point.  When he does  you tell him, that if he fails to do what you ask, that you will forget about all this femdom stuff, and he is to never bring it up again.

The part that most women do not understand in female dominance when they first get started, is that it is as real as you want to make it.  If you are just indulging in your husbands fantasies, and not really taking control by pushing your man into doing uncomfortable things, then you are really again, just being controlled by him.

In order for female dominance to become real, you must make it real, by forcing him to do things that he does not want to do.  You will either be done with all of this, or you will have the breakthrough, where you truly have brought your man to his knees in full servitude to you for the rest of your life.

Consider it like breaking a horse in.  Or training a dog.  Men are no different.  They can be trained to submit to your will on all matters but you do have to “break him in”.

What sounds better to you?

Indulging your mans fantasies….. or taking control of your man, your life, and your reality.

I know what I choose.  Join me, and make your man your bitch.

Take him, break him, mold him, and have a relationship with him, that few ever get to experience.

A relationship that puts you on a pedestal, with him serving you as you wish.

A relationship, where chores are the mans job, (unless you want to help), orgasms are an obligation for the men to give, and a privilege for him to be granted rarely for exceptional servitude.

This is your world now.  You are dominant, and your man is your submissive.  He asked for this, but he didn’t realize what it meant.  Too bad.  Either you take him now, or your window of opportunity will pass you by.

Do you want to be the passive, obligatory, serving wife, indulging your man’s fantasies, or do you want to be the dominant goddess that has all of her own fantasies fulfilled.

Make your man your bitch.  That is the secret to life for all womankind.

Now, that this article is almost over, you want to remember everything that we have discussed here.

You are now the dominant goddess of the house.

What you say goes, is what goes.

There are no exceptions.  What you want is what you get.

Be disciplined with yourself, and do not do things that contradict your dominance.

Your temple is your body and mind.  You and you alone can take your body and mind to places it has never been without the aid of alcohol or drugs.

Dominant women get a buzz off of dominating their men.  This is a high for you. You are now addicted to dominating your man.  You control him in every facet of your life and are free to explore boundaries limited only by consent, in which you can bend and manipulate to your favour.

Now, be a sweetheart, or a good sissy, and share this with as many women as you can.  The world needs more of us sweetie.  Help the cause.

Learn More Cool Femdom Training Tips

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For the kinky female led relationship, there is one activity that should not be overlooked, because it can play an important role in strengthening the D/s aspect for both the dominant and the submissive.  Many women may be hesitant to sit on a submissives face, and prefer he gets on his knees to perform oral, however, there could be massive benefits that are missed because of that hesitancy.

Facesitting has a similar impact on both partners, as pegging does. Pegging humbles a submissive, and empowers a dominant, because it’s a complete role reversal. He’s the vulnerable one, he’s being penetrated, and he’s experiencing what it means to not be in control as she thrusts into him at her own pace. He’s helpless to stop her, and the first few times this is done, the power exchange felt is very intense.

Knowing that she can take him with her cock at any time, just because she feels like it, brings out extra submission in him. Especially when she penetrates him when he’s not in the mood, her dominance over him becomes very real. As she discovers her power through this, she comes to enjoy the strap on, and can have orgasms of her own, just by using it on him. Pegging can be used as a disciplinary device as well, and is often more effective than painful punishments.

Ordering him to get her cock, and help her put it on, then taking him with it can be very effective especially if he’s kept in chastity. Pegging can often be the only way he’s allowed sexual pleasure. It’s a complete shift in what he’s used to as a male, and that’s why it’s so powerful in the D/s dynamic.

Facesitting can have the same effect, except, it doesn’t require role reversal, and instead, celebrates each other for who they are. It doesn’t create an inferior or superiority complex, but it really does compliment the dominant and submissive roles perfectly. While seeing a submissive on his knees is a pretty sight, facesitting takes it to a whole new level because of the psychological aspect.

The idea of being under her, looking up at her beauty as she lowers herself onto his face, promotes some of the strongest submissive feelings a submissive can have. It’s also the perfect place for her to be, as she can control exactly where she wants him to pleasure her, be it the front or back door. The ability to grind on his face is also a bonus.

She will feel like she owns him, and the view she can have, facing his body, can be of great amusement, as she gets to play with his body, perhaps out of discipline, or pleasure, while he is busy pleasuring her. It’s particularly powerful if his arms are tied down and he’s truly out of control. She can remain on his face for as long as she wishes, until she’s completely satisfied.

Her scent will intoxicate him, and it will make him addicted to her more so than he was before. The feeling of powerlessness being under her will have him deep in subspace, more obedient than ever. Even more so than pegging. Pegging, chastity, and facesitting all compliment each other beautifully, and help to completely own him. It’s not just about owning his sex life. It’s also about owning exactly how he can give her pleasure. Facesitting becomes a luxury for him.

She can have all sorts of fun with facesitting as well. Facesitting makes him eager to provide oral pleasure, but she can facesit him and take even that pleasure away with a face dildo. She can have good penetrative sex with him, using his face, and his only reward is her scent and fluids on his face. He’s quite literally an instrument of her pleasure, in total submission. Completely in his place.

This opens her up to being able to use him in any way she pleases. Her pleasure becomes his reward. She becomes sacred to him. His face is her throne. There is no greater purpose for him, than when she is on his face. She is his universe. Completely owned, and totally devoted.

Chastity…

If Your husband has asked You lock him in chastity, You may think he is asking you to do some sexually perverted, kinky, thing that You don’t understand and don’t want to understand because it is sick and perverted. The fact is, he is not sick and perverted, he just wants to have fun, sexually.

There was a time in Your marriage when sex was fun and exciting for You, too. Wasn’t there? He just wants to get that back again. He is not asking You to do anything that is difficult, or perverted. He is asking You to play a game with him. A sexual game in which You control when and how he has sex. That’s all. So give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much fun You, Yourself, can have

Chastity is an amazing fetish. Most people think it’s some kind of punishment or chore, but it isn’t. The feelings you receive from abstaining from orgasm are just sublime. Guys feel aroused right up until the point where they orgasm, then everything is reset to zero after orgasm they’re no longer turned on and in order to become even remotely aroused they have to wait again for the feelings to kick in.

Well, what if they didn’t orgasm. What if they didn’t masturbate every evening? What if they abstained from orgasms altogether? Would the feelings of arousal increase and increase? Yes. Yes they would. Which is why chastity is an immensely popular fetish.

Chastity popularity

It is such an intimate act to show trust in his partner for a man to hand over the key to his “crown jewels“ and to allow him to be locked up, to await “HER” pleasure. It is quite surprising that so many people have dabbled with the man wearing a chastity device, and they are the second most often bought sex toys after vibrators.

Chastity - A Joint Decision

For chastity to work well it has to be a joint decision. If you’re both eager to try chastity then the belt or device you choose should also appeal to your wife. It’s no good you buying an expensive belt and she hates the sight of it.

Some women find the transparency of the CB-6000, CB-6000s or the Curve nicely displays the enslaved penis, many would-be keyholders like the quality and hygiene of a stainless steel device. Other women like the thought of the traditional Florentine style belts believing they are more secure.

Others initially prefer to go for something like the Stallion Guard as a low cost device to experiment with before deciding on a more secure belt or cage. There are keyholders who like to allow and see the penis fully erect whilst it’s encased, belts and devices most suited to this concept, known as “penile negation”, include the Samurai and Caterpillar cock cages from Mr S. Neither of these 2 devices can be considered long term wear, however, they’re an ideal purchase as an additional chastity device to your collection, and allow your keyholder the opportunity to employ different techniques of teasing.

Some keyholders love these devices because they relish the sight of a fully erect, straining cock unable to escape.

Chastity and Masturbation

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for him to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn’t seem to interfere with their pursuit of young women.

However, as men grow older masturbating usually translates into the husband ignoring his wife for at least a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you. It is not the goal for him to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen, not routinely but it will happen because as he continues to build up his sexual energy that he no longer has the ability to release as he pleases he will divert that energy towards pleasing you.

Your being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his feelings, he will adore you, love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you’re happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

This isn’t as kinky as it sounds

If your sex life to date has been restricted to intercourse and perhaps mutual masturbation, chastity play can sound like something pretty weird. It isn’t. Nothing has to change about how you make love; what changes is when. The partner who wears the chastity belt has given the partner who has the “key” the ability to decide when sex can take place. Since most chastity devices effectively prevent masturbation, it means one partner gives the other control of all orgasms. This can be a great deal of fun for both people.

Chastity play allows you to take sex out of the bedroom in a subtle way that only the two of you will know. For example, if a woman has her male partner locked up, they can agree on “rules” he should follow, such as “he must always stand when she enters the room.” If when they are out with friends he forgets, she can smile and hold some fingers up and he will know he stays locked up that many more days until he can get release.

If you don’t think this is incredibly hot to both partners, just try it! You won’t believe how exciting a dull relationship can become overnight. Take a few minutes and use your imagination. Fun, huh?

Chastity Devices

Chastity devices have been used throughout the ages in order to prevent sexual intercourse. Classically, chastity has been forced upon someone using a belt type mechanic, but in recent times, more concealable and localized devices are able to be used in order to prevent the ability to touch and interact with sexual organs. In addition to the modern interpretation of how to perform chastity, a sexual fetish has developed. Individuals now enjoy the prospect of being locked up and unable to perform sexual activities unless the other person who’s chastised them allows it.

Chastity and Confinement for Men

Chastity for men is the most common form, with blocks of specially formed plastic being placed around the penis with a small lock attached for keeping it closed. Some male chastity devices make it impossible or highly painful to experience an erection, aiding the experience of being denied sexual pleasure. One major element of chastity is the understanding that eventually, the device will be removed. The sexual fetish is undesirable if the wearer believes that they will never be allowed to experience an orgasm again. As expected, chastity is an exchange of a power dynamic, with one person assuming the role of being in charge and the other being submissive and completely subject to the will of the other person.

Chastity for couples

Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a great deal to gain as well.

Taking control of one small aspect of your relationship - The sex. By utilizing a chastity device, you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may or may not be keen on the idea. If this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and denial to get what you want….it will work.

If you can both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about it. Start out slow and easy. Don’t plan on more than a month or even a week for a trial period. Remember, this is just a trial period. If you don’t like it, don’t get any enjoyment from it, don’t see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always quit.

Couple chastity

If you’re in a committed relationship, but you want to really turn up the heat in your sex play, then chastity could be the answer for you. Many couples engage in chastity as a means of getting back the desire they felt in the early days of their relationship, when they couldn’t wait to have sex, and it lasted for hours not minutes. A time when they were always on each other’s mind.

Chastity is also a choice for many couples when the man has been unfaithful, or has been caught masturbating to internet porn. He may choose chastity as a way to demonstrate his commitment, reassure his partner, and enhance their relationship. This is a precious pledge for any man, and the thought of this alone can be incredibly arousing for both partners.

There is no doubt about it, chastity play results in superior sexual satisfaction! Trying to earn a release, the bottom will be much more attentive to his partner’s needs. Without being distracted by his own selfish wants, his sole focus is pleasuring his Keyholder. He will demonstrate his ability and affection to his partner, going above and beyond in the hope of an ultimate ‘release’.. Remember; the couple that plays together stays together!

Chastity and relantionship

There is no one right way to practice chastity, but most agree that a man who practices chastity is expressing profound respect for their partner and women generally. Chastity is a challenge well worth undertaking because it can help lead to a transformation of a man’s relationship with his partner. Almost every account of a chastity regimen notes that the man becomes much more attentive to the needs of his partner, serving her better both sexually and in a myriad of other ways that are pleasing to her. The many religious traditions that use chastity/abstinence as a key element of their spiritual practice and service orientation are definitely onto something..

Primary benefits of enforced male

1. It prevents him from masturbating. Male masturbation is a filthy habit. It’s addictive, selfish, and disrespectful to women. Chronic masturbation has the effect of substantially diminishing a man’s natural sexual desire for his wife of girlfriend. It unfortunately teaches him that his orgasm is primary, and hers is secondary.

2. Because he can’t even get an erection without her permission, it instantly changes the dynamics of the relationship.

3. It keeps his sexual focus and energy on his wife or girlfriend.

4. It will substantially increase his desire to orally service his wife or girlfriend.

5. If he’s never been an ass-eater, after having his penis locked up for a few weeks, he will be.

6. It serves as a constant reminder to him of her authority.

7. Because it makes his orgasms entirely dependent on her generosity, it positively incentives him to honor her, respect her, and motivates him to please.

8. It gives him the time and opportunity to substantially improve and perfect his oral skills.

9. It reinforces the idea that pussy is a precious gift that must be earned, and is to be savored and appreciated on those rare occasions when he does get it.

10. It teaches him that sexual activity with his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with his penis.

11. It deepens his submission to her, and will cause him to worship the ground she walks on.

12. It will significantly improve his attitude, and make him more generous, caring, kind, respectful, and loving. It will help soften the sharper edges of his me-first masculinity. It will make him more of a listener than a talker.

13. It helps prepares him for the eventuality of anal penetration, and getting the strap-on. Because his penis isn’t being sexually stimulated, it has the effect of gradually turning other parts of his body into erogenous zones, particularly his anus and his prostate. With patience and persistence, he can be trained to orgasm from stimulation in that region via your finger, or the strap-on.

14. If his orgasms are consistently controlled and severely restricted, he will eventually get to the point where he will do just about anything to cum. You’ll be amazed by what he’ll do for you.

Chastity -  power to the woman

This voluntary act in which the man shows his trust and hands over the key to his most precious possessions to her who will then decide when he is to be released. This is an action which gives enormous power to the woman in a relationship, or the supervisor on our course and it is a gift from him to her.

It is a sexual act which frees him from the ability to pleasure himself and frees him to learn how to please his partner and thus be allowed pleasure himself.

It sounds from this description a strange and “kinky “activity, but surprisingly the approach has wide acceptance as a method to improve male performance and pleasure.

The Mental Game of Chastity

The power exchange exists in the realm of the minds so to the submissive male, being denied can provide him with more mental pleasure and more mental fulfillment than a physical orgasm.

The aroused and denied male will spend more time in subspace and thus his mind will be on a mental sphere where the female rules supreme in his life and he is much more eager to serve the female.

The mental stimulation should touch a man’s psychological triggers, which will stimulate him sexually. It is that mental stimulation that causes an intense power exchange and that can make sex more pleasurable for the woman both physically and mentally while at the same time fulfilling the male need to be dominated.

Chastity and BDSM

Chastity is a fantastic pawn in the BDSM game. It is a great tool for tease and denial, and can be implemented as an incredibly effective punishment/reward scheme. Dominants that have never fully engaged in chastity play, will have almost certainly at some point employed a ‘permission to cum?’ policy. So, what’s the difference? Well chastity play takes this concept one step further and gives the Key Holder full control over their slave’s orgasms. Many people who love to engage in BDSM have not yet discovered the joys of chastity

Locked in Chastity for BDSM

Key Holder is a term used to describe the dominant woman in a male chastity agreement. Many couples are into BDSM and male chastity is one of the many methods that these women use to dominate their men. Some men are more turned on the more they are ordered around.

The woman will tease the man while he has a male chastity device on and she is the only one who has the key to open it and award him with a release. Discuss it with your partner in detail and decide if you want your chastity to be long term or short term.

If you are just starting out, you should ease into it before you commit to being locked in. If you enter into it before you are ready it will likely prolong the process.

“be careful what you wish for”

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them…”be careful what you wish for”.

If some of the husbands were given a choice to go back to their old ways they would, but none of the wives would.

Most men think an orgasm is an orgasm.

He finishes. He feels good. He rolls over.

That is the script his body has run his whole life.

A ruined orgasm tears that script up.

He still finishes. The fluid still leaves his body. But the wave of pleasure that usually rides along with it never arrives. He is left empty, frustrated, and still wanting. And most importantly, he is left knowing that the difference between satisfaction and frustration was a decision. Her decision.

This is one of the quieter tools in orgasm control and denial, and it is far more psychological than it looks. To understand why it works, you first have to understand what a normal orgasm actually does to a man.

What Is a Ruined Orgasm?

A ruined orgasm is simple to define and surprisingly precise to perform.

You stroke him, or have him stroke himself, right up to the edge. To the point of no return, where his body has already committed to releasing and nothing can stop it.

Then you remove all stimulation. Completely. Hands off.

The cum leaves his body. But without the rhythmic muscle contractions and the touch that normally travel with it, the pleasure does not. He gets the mechanics of ejaculation without the reward of orgasm.

The load is gone. The high never came.

He is left blinking, half-confused, still aroused, still craving the very thing he was certain he was about to feel.

Recommended Read – Ask Miss Sana: Is Orgasm Denial and Chastity a Necessity in a Female Led Relationship?

The body lets go. The pleasure does not. That gap is the whole point.

What Actually Happens in His Body