how to say "I love you" in x-files [296/?] ⤷ 6.14 — "Monday"
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how to say "I love you" in x-files [296/?] ⤷ 6.14 — "Monday"

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The X Files: 6.20, Three of a Kind.
Well, I just can't decide who lights my fire.
The X-Files: S07E22 (Requeim) | "I just want to get warm."
the thing is mulder ripped his heart out a long time ago and is always tossing it up into the sky and juggling it and wordlessly trusts scully to catch it when he’s not paying attention but scully very carefully and quietly pressed her heart into mulder’s hands soon after they met and he didn’t quite realize it even while he’s holding it and carrying it with him
there was literally NO need for this to go so crazyhard.

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Jae please tell me your thoughts on how Scully’s worldview of “love is a competition” has affected her self-image and self esteem
Okay, so just to reestablish context for anyone not aware: I have previously stated that I think Scully's large family and frequently physically absent father that she idolized has lead to her perceiving access to love and affection as essentially a competitive sport that she can win, rather than just something freely given. I do want to note real quick that I don't think the Scullys intended this outcome, but it's very difficult to evenly share your time and attention with four children in the best circumstances, let alone for military families. When Scully was young, there literally weren't enough hours in the day for all of the children to get the attention they needed from their parents. And these circumstances tend to lead to one of two primary outcomes; either the child in question strives for perfection for the purpose of receiving praise, or they act out with inappropriate or even criminal behavior because negative attention is still attention.
Now we only know a little about her siblings, but I think we can infer some things. Bill took his role as the Junior to try and emulate their father; he followed in his footsteps closely with his career and life choices. Missy was a deeply empathetic free spirit who seemed to follow any passion that called her, disappearing for long stretches of time and seemingly not maintaining a long-term career. And then, of course, there's Charlie, about whom we know only that he left home and is no longer in any sort of communication with the family.
Early on, Scully's relationship with her father predisposed her to seeking perfection; she was his first mate, the Starbuck to his Ahab, which at least in her young mind made her feel special (which is good) and above her siblings to have earned the distinction (less healthy). And Scully is very smart so the odds are good that upon starting school and getting good grades she was granted even more positive parental attention, (parents do love to brag about how their child could become a doctor) reinforcing that idea that you get more love by doing better. And then she went to medical school because it's what her parents wanted for her, where she engaged in a romantic relationship operating on those same principles. Her professor notices how smart she is, and they start spending more time together, and they have an affair because she's distinguished herself from her peers. And after that blows up, she finally makes a decision for herself and joins the FBI, where she enters into yet another romantic relationship with her older instructor. As she works on the X-Files, she frequently displays jealousy towards those receiving Mulder's attention, particularly when those people are an intelligent and professional threat. So I think the evidence for that unhealthy relationship with affection is there and persists as the show continues.
Now, as to how this affects her relationship with the self, I think Scully's baseline self-esteem is based on the idea that if she isn't achieving highly, her worth is diminished. The times when Scully seems the most agitated (as I remember, I'm not double-checking right now) are when their work on the X-Files is stymied. During these, Scully isn't actively making a difference in fighting a global conspiracy, which feels much the same as failure to her, and Mulder is busy being too depressed to counteract her preconceptions. It also seems like this long history of living with the goal of winning praise from others makes Scully feel like her life isn't totally her own. She makes small rebellions when that feeling gets too suffocating (stealing her mom's cigarettes, all of Never Again, etc.) but she doesn't have a way out of the cycle. While Mulder's self-esteem is basically none and is entirely tied to The Work, Scully's is almost completely reliant upon the validation of other people. Which I think is tied to her need to be taken seriously. It's not just that Scully is a woman in male dominated fields, even in her personal life, she struggles with vulnerability and appearing weak. Pity and sympathy aren't praise. Therefore, to receive them means she is weak. It's a rather vicious self-fulfilling prophecy, to tie one's self-image to how they are perceived by others
Sexualizing Scully (in Never Again and the whole series)
I’ve been thinking about CC changing the original Never Again script because he was worried about sexualizing Scully, and I’ve been trying to get inside his head on this issue. Ready for a long essay no one asked for? Okay.
CC’s decision to eliminate the sex scene from Never Again reveals a pretty absolute mindset from him at the time — hanky panky for Scully takes her into a titillating area, which is not okay, because the show doesn’t sexualize Scully. According to ep co-writer Glen Morgan, CC said “every other woman on television was jumping into bed, and they had worked very hard to differentiate Scully from other female television characters.” So button up, Dana.
I admit that like many others (including possibly GA), I have always been frustrated by this particular kind of “we don’t want to sexualize Scully” logic from CC, because it really seems to be confusing sexually objectifying a female character with depicting her acting from sexual motivations which is really only confusing if you’re a straight cis man who is used to thinking any combination of women and sex as somehow being about men’s tastes. In other words, it doesn’t seem problematic to show Scully acting sexually if you’re thinking of a female character as a subject and not as an object.
how to say "I love you" in x-files [214/?] ⤷ 4.14 — “Memento Mori”
The truth will save you, Scully. I think it'll save both of us.
:,-) i think they deserve to hug and whatnot.
ID: digital sketch of mulder and scully asleep/cuddling on his couch. scully is wearing a large t shirt and mulder is in shorts and a t shirt. His arms are around her and her arms are clutched by his chest.
eepy
ID: two Illustrations of mulder and scully lying down asleep on mulders couch. The illustrations are the same but with different lighting. One has lowlight with some apparent hallway light and blue from the fish tank. The other has soft light with bright lights from the window as well. They are hugging.
MSR RECOVERYYYY

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The Fable of Mulder and Scully
scully was always associated with a swallow bird for me, something about nesting and motherliness and sharp angles.
been watching lectures on fairy-tails and fables, and at some point i just wanted to throw fertility symbols at these two =_=
also wanted to experiment with a different style.
» my other x files drawings
watched s2ep13 today and cried so had to draw them for Catharsis
help! that! boy!
how to say “I love you” in x-files [5/?] ⤷ 1.03 — “Squeeze”
In our investigations, you may not always agree with me, but at least you respect the journey.
She asks that I tell you to remember her. You won't.

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one of the best games ever
And you will surely be the death of me
But how could I have known?