well

In gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)

why did you start a competition that you’ve already won

Me walking into McDonalds at 2:17am after drinking 4.35 vodka crans

Not to sound anti vegan but what is one ecological function performed by roaches because I’m not entirely sure we need them

they’re a part of the food chain & they help with the breaking down of forest-floor discarded foliage (cockroaches feed on fallen leaves/discarded branches and bark, and are then fed on in turn by everything from other insects to birds & small mammals)

Ain’t no forest floor discarded foliage in my house tho so why they here

Try eating Cheetos with those lips… I think not.

Why is this on shitty car mods? This is revolutionary

becomes extremely enlightened when my airbag deploys and pushes all of these into the exact center of my brain

Not my Christian house