UGH, REIGN

Guys, are they ok? Are they even trying? Do they think we’re stupid? Have they employed a script adviser to check the consistency of what they’re making? If they have, they need to fire them real quick, because whoever they are hasn’t seemed to realise that CATHERINE’S CHILDREN ARE ALL REAPPEARING AS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE who are WAY TOO OLD!

Let’s take a trip down memory lane to the good old days when Reign was kinda alright.

Remember this little guy? This lil’ cutie from Season 1? Lil’ Charles. Just in case this picture doesn’t make it quite QUITE clear that this person is a young CHILD, here’s another one: 

He’s tiny right, I mean Megan Follows is small, and he barely reaches her shoulder. Ok good, we’ve established that Charles in Season 1 was a young child of around eight years old. Good stuff.

Now I know Reign has a habit of stretching, embellishing and basically destroying history. Mary and Francis are supposed to be like 14 at the start, and clearly they’re older, but that’s ok, that’s fine, we’ll roll with it.

 The show begins in 1557:

Nice, some fluffy goats and fluffy clouds just to prove this. I’ve done my research people.

So in real life, ol’ Francie Boi was supposed to die in 1560 after being King for roughly one year

And sure thing, as I said, Reign likes to stretch history like, BEYOND the breaking point. So it’s entirely plausible that on the show Francis was king for a little bit longer, maybe we’ll give him an extra year or two. Which means the next time we see young dude Charlie he’ll have aged… hmmm around five years or so? He’ll be approx 12, right? 

WRONG! What the FuCk ma dudes, this guy right here is NOT CHARKLES I don’t know who he is, but Catherine and the rest of them should all be really concerned, they’ve been hella duped! He’s frickin old enough to fool around with this random chick

He’s aged like 10 years in 5, and NO ONE EVEN NOTICED, not Catherine, not Francis, not Mary, and especially not anyone in the writing or casting department apparently. 

Now let’s move onto Elisabeth, Catherine and Henry’s eldest daughter, dis chick from the pilot

Remember her? The one who married the Spanish dude, and then they had to have sex while a whole lot of old men watched, and Mary and her lil’ sweet naive buddies got all hot and flustered cos they were sneakily watching too? Yeah that one.

As you can see, this woman is clearly a BRUNETTE. Well, apparently Spain has really changed Elisabeth. Like, REEAALLY changed her. So good to see her back in 4x01! She goes by Leesa now, she’s blonde and older and basically looks like a completely different person…

Oh Wait.

I guess Catherine just has so many children she honestly can’t keep track and doesn’t even notice when they return to France looking like they’ve endured intense plastic surgery to reconstruct their faces, or somehow age them enormously.

Catherine has the names of all her children written in her bible, although her youngest son Hercule is missing, but I think the camera has just cut off the bottom of the page.

 At the end of Season 3, Catherine brings back this dude below to lowkey threaten Charles with MUrdEr (the most ooc Catherine has ever been, honestly this show is just…)

Now god knows who this one is, I mean it could be Lil’ Henry making a comeback from Season 1 when he was blonde and cute (see below) and got kidnapped by his insane potato-sack-wearing half sister

If so, he too has had a significant dye job at the castle salon. Except whoever this kid is in Season 3, he can’t be Henry because he’s considerably younger than Charles

I mean, what’s the deal? Charles gets hit by the ageifying-ray gun, but his little bro Henry doesn’t? How is that fair?? They never actually mention him by name, so possibly it is Hercule.

Which would mean that this hunky blonde dude Megan’s been posting on her Instagram and captioning with “My boys”… 

IS HENRY WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS! He looks even older than Charles, I CANNOT BELIEF THIS

This makes absolutely ZERO sense, I do NOT understand. The casting directors and writers of Reign either don’t comprehend human viewer intelligence and the ability to pick up on the ENORMOUS INCONSISTENCIES THEY THROW AT US WITH WORRYING REGULARITY, or they themselves have serious memory issues. Or possibly they just don’t care. I really don’t know.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to watch Reign now is by ignoring these massively aged characters, ignoring the yawn storylines, ignoring when the only original characters we have left suddenly rewrite their whole personalities; I’m looking at you Catherine ‘I would literally die for my children’ de Medici, suddenly going, ‘Oh yeah Charles, I have loooads of other sons, don’t you forget that, I might just kill you to become regent again, k, love you, bye.’

I’ll just focus on the pretty clothes and Megan Follows’ profound talent to somehow make something out of this steaming pile of insanity.

Long story short, the only thing Reign is consistent at, is being inconsistent.

Megan Follows: Preparing for an end to her Reign 

Best known for playing Anne of Green Gables over the course of three mini-series and 15 years, Canadian actress Megan Follows has won a new generation of admirers for her role as the scheming Catherine de Médici on the Mary Queen of Scots drama Reign.

As the fourth and final season of begins, the now 47-year-old Follows talked to Fairfax about the delights and end of her Reign.

You’re now in the fourth season of Reign. How has Catherine changed since the series began and how have you been changed by playing her?

When the show started, Catherine was married to the king, but after his death, she becomes the mother of the king(s), so her literal position in court shifts, and she has to take a direct hand in maintaining and protecting the Valois line. Catherine has always been a fierce and loyal parent, but she is also a smart politician and as she sees how brutal the world can be to her and her children she has to learn to be smart about which of her children to align herself with, who has the most potential, and who can survive in that world. The arrival of a new family member at court this season poses an even greater threat to the power structure in France, and Catherine has to navigate the struggles between her children and her court. I have loved playing a woman like Catherine, who is unapologetic for her temper and her ambition. She has also taught me to always look for the humour in things, the light and the dark, and I have such fun playing the comedic notes in this show, as well as the dramatic.

How easy is it to pick the character back up after a hiatus and how difficult is she to put down? Sometimes the hardest thing to pick back up after a hiatus is the English accent, which is not my natural speaking voice. But Catherine herself is someone I love playing so much that I was always grateful to slip back into her robes. It’s never easy to say goodbye to a character you’ve been living with for a while, and because Catherine was so multi-faceted, I will definitely miss playing her.

Ah yes, how did you find out about the show’s cancellation? And what will you miss most about the show?

We found out about the cancellation on-set while filming one of the last episodes. One of the producers came down and let us know that this would be our final season. We had an alternate ending ready for this scenario, and then that’s what we shot. I’ll miss working with a really wonderful group of performers, an incredible crew, and the most exquisite costumes and beautiful sets I’ve ever had the good fortune of playing in. What sort of research if any did you do to play Catherine?

I didn’t know a lot about her personal history before I was introduced to Catherine through Reign, although I did know something about the history of Mary Stuart and Elizabeth Tudor. I read some books about Catherine de Medici’s history and one of the most interesting things to learn about was how precarious her situation really was at court, especially before she had born children (heirs for the King). What she was subjected to in her early years in Italy was also remarkable. She was a true survivor and she was also an incredible patron of the arts.

What can viewers expect from this season?

I think this is one of our strongest seasons yet, as we are introduced to a number of really strong interesting characters in the Scottish court. Mary’s (Adelaide Kane) perils and challenges escalate over there, while Catherine’s court becomes more and more deliciously dysfunctional back in France. All the while, Elizabeth (Rachel Skarsten) is working to extend her power as a global empire and secure her own position in history.

Is this a show your kids watch at all? Have they followed your career closely? Do they know about your roles past?

My kids have definitely watched some of the episodes with me, though they tend to turn away when things get hot and heavy between Catherine and the King or Narcisse. My daughter, Lyla, is an actor now and she actually worked with me in two episodes of Reign, playing Greer’s sister. I have always included my children in my world, and they often came to set or the theatre with me when I’d be rehearsing or performing. Even when they were little, I wanted them to be able to see what I was doing when I wasn’t home, and they watched pretty much anything I did if they wanted to. I haven’t had a chance to show them everything I did when I was younger, but as that material becomes more available to find online etc. I’m happy to share it with them.

There was a new version of Anne of Green Gables out this past year – have you seen it at all?

No, I haven’t seen the new Anne yet, but it’s such a great story I’m not surprised they’ve done another new version. Anne will always have a very dear place in my heart. I feel incredibly fortunate to have played her and I am always touched by how much my portrayal of this strong, iconic, young female character has meant to people.

Finally, you’ve directed a few episodes of Reign – how do you juggle acting and directing?

I loved directing Reign. I definitely look forward to continuing to develop my skills and my craft as a director and I’m excited for more opportunities to work in that capacity. At first, it was intimidating, because you have to think about so many things as a director, while when acting you really get to focus and hone in on your specific character and their journey. You’re always having to keep the constraints of time in mind when you’re directing on a television set, so you can’t just stay in the character for too long. But ultimately I was pretty comfortable acting and directing on Reign because it was a world I knew and I knew the cast and crew so well by the time I started directing.