I Warned You This Was Personal

last night I heard my mom telling my dad, “I have two children, stop being the third”.

do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic

god remember watching tv shows on putlocker in 2012 and you’d have to find the watch button, carefully select the version with the best quality, and let the video load for 20 minutes so it didn’t endlessly catch up to itself. rip man

in the mood to kiss a girl all over for 5 hours

lol (existential dread)

I've invented a new system of government where before you pass any bill it has to be read by a philosopher, community leader, and a historian who are all entitled to reject the bill and/or beat the shit out of you for anything they feel is blatantly evil

I'd like to start implementing this in Florida

I'd throw in a scientist as well TBH

What is this, some kind of joke?

The punchline was in the parking lot.

god no. not again.