Begin At The Beginning

When I’m reincarnated, I want to come back as a bookstore cat.

That’s actually a thing? I thought my local bookstore was the only one living their best life tbh

Mice like things they can tear up to turn into comfy nests. Like paper. Shop cats used to be everywhere, but the food industry doesn’t get to keep them any more. The book industry still finds them useful and has no such legal restrictions.

Also bookshop owners and patrons alike are crazy cat ladies/gents, so it makes them feel at home.

We all know the “riches beyond your wildest dreams” is just getting to pet the cat some more. And yes, please.

dance fucker dance

mama pasta looks so kind

I’m having a fit

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces “I ASCEND” it’s the best thing

me: i don’t mind being alone also me: *feels abandoned for no reason at all, needs constant reassurance that my presence is wanted, cannot see how anyone would want to be friends with me, is not able to focus on anything because of the intense feeling of imaginary rejection*

I don’t know what they mean Dobbo the Gremlin is surely Tolkein’s finest creation as a writer