WORDS AND BOYS

today, i'll be asking you something different one we've been feeling but had looked over with courage we'll be facing the end of what was once reverent in eyes and now sober

let's leave each other be and walk our paths--go find someone we're not in love with but someone to meet in the right timing

dining with my demons tonight 

they weren't enticing but you're here 

my love this is me--me at light 

do not ever come near 

these are monsters of loss 

and failed passion i caused 

you do not have to come 

this is me at light, 

i will leave the keys by your doorstep 

and do the same along the altar 

i am not expecting you to follow 

but i'll hope for you to go--for me 

when i wished for you to stay i hope you knew how much yearning 

i had for words--i had your words 

 to keep in my heart for long just to know 

that being left alone doesn't always 

give me freedom, i hindered you 

 as you did with me, loving was hard; 

i will leave the keys as you did first 

but as i leave them be, know i will never 

close your eyes and worry for no one; he whispers

i know he did not mean it, but his words hurt

we walked to his dreams--broken hearts

continuing each breath from the other

did i say that i did not know it’s time to leave?

should i have known not to look back

on streets empty and sheets unoccupied

my love has left, with his dreams and pride

if you’re reading across these sentences

i’m here and you will always be my solace

he said it was never the fast beating

of hearts, or bells ringing

i asked then how did you know

when the time’s this slow?

it’s there in that same motion

in exact half-time--i knew 

discover me in pages lost and torn 

love me more in pages hidden

lose me again in your great forlorn

my words in your love--forever bidden

in the sight of the gape of your mouth are where i am most reminded of when your hands would go south and when your skin was what i breathed

you see, it’s not in the way we started avoiding mutual gazes

not the way you, or maybe i stopped reaching for your finger

it’s how i forgot how to listen to my new lover’s love phrases

that day we decided to leave is when yours continued to linger

your anatomy as the only one i’ve come to know

my heart never forgot the love shared and more with the love wasted

my veins were certain it ended when i asked if it was time to go

but love who is to blame, when it was time we exhausted?

the rain surprisingly came out late today 

reminded me of the words you did not have to say 

the rain were the remnants of us 

my eyes' salinity, the harshness in your cuts 

once there were two people meeting by the rain 

wrists stained red, bloodshot eyes; both in pain 

happy days were fogged, abstruse rain blur 

but i still remember how i fell for you 

when you went for another