I often feel like that place I'm meant to occupy in this life is as one of the many. Part of the people who exist as background noise to the great. Of the talented and kind, the beloved and the benevolent, I am simple and steady static droning on, hard to tune into, easy to glaze over. Almost everyone will live their lives this way...
There is no shame or self-pity for being like everyone else. We are designed to be together and to blend, it's a source of strength. It's why I wrote this song
If you'd like to play along, the chords are just D and A
if you'd like to sing along, here are the lyrics:
I know a place when it’s dark
If you wanna swing at the park
In the open center of
My old neighborhood
It’s so busy after school
Early morning see runners through
You would never think it could
Be peaceful and still
And still
It’s quiet
When the night hits
Nobody ever comes out
Nobody ever did
Nobody smokes on this block
Nobody drives past 9 o’clock
Nobody’s out to walk or talk
In this place, in this,
Their home
All they’ve known
Where they’ve grown
Right outside their windows
And the clouds are enchanting
Look around, no one else will see
No one else is out at night
To witness those arcs of light
Nobody walks on the block
Nobody drives in the dark
Nobody wants to meet up in the night
Tonight
But then again, maybe I miss it
When the sky is all I see
Before I escape into my room
Maybe I miss them walking past me
Maybe I miss lives being lived around me
Because they’re done so quietly
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This song was a bit of a challenge tbh, something about a sliding note and a barre chord is just asking for a hand cramp lol but it's so sweet and short enough to power through! I really hope you like it!!
If you listened to the end of this and thought, hmm this seems familiar, 1) I ripped it straight from Making It All Up, but it's ok bc it's mine, and 2) thank you sm, ur the only one who listened to it <3333 I appreciate you so so much
Otherwise this is just a haunting tale of reckoning with the dullness and darkness of reality... it's chill tho fr..
my reckoning:
I try to stretch myself thin
I try to fit in
I try to bleed myself dry
I try to be good
Nothing’s as it should
Nothing’s as it should
It doesn’t feel as good
As they promised it would
I try to escape
Find myself running away dream-like,
I’m running in place
I look at all the same things everyday
And it doesn’t feel the same
Routine doesn’t feel as good as it seems
As good as it should
As good as it should
As good
As good
As good
You wanted me
And I didn’t care at all
Too lonely, and far too scared for it all
What do you want from me?
Other than my temporary body?
Other than my current mind
Subject to change at any time
I don’t care to see
I know it won’t feel as good as it seems
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How do I know this is the end?
I couldn’t tell you, I just knew
This morning I knew
It was in the patter of the rain
But there is no one else to blame but me
No one but me
I couldn’t be more free
I couldn’t feel more clean
I couldn’t more complete
Than in this moment
The rain after you
Feel the flood in this moment
of this silence in this room
The silence of this room
I can fill it however I choose
If I did what I was taught to do
I’d be so cruel
You wouldn’t stand it,
you’d run and hide
It’s what I was taught to do
It’s what I’m good at
But I’m graceful enough to be kind
I let you drive us out
Because that’s what I’m about
Nothing can compete
Nothing’s as sweet
Nothing’s as mean as me
It doesn’t get this deep
With anybody
That’s just me
That’s just me
i've been a night owl all my life... sleep has never been something that felt within my control, in my grasp... but you don't mind that I'm up late, you just take my hand and lead me back to bed.
a tenderness I've never...
I learned how to swim so I could swim with you
I learned how to be cool
I learned how to sing so I could sing to you
In the middle of the night
I hope I sound alright
I hope I sound alright
I'm eager to do things for you
I wonder if you're all I'll ever know
If that is, it wouldn't be that
bad of a fate.
Maybe it's all I'm good at anyway
Somehow I know it's fate
And so many other things I don't know
The same powers that keep me awake
It's that shiver that lets me know
That there's a freedom found in you
There's a freedom that grew in me
You spread it like dandelion seeds
Takes nothing but a breeze
and I, I'm so eager to know you
And I am so eager to see you
I often shake you awake
just to hear you say
"go back to sleep babe"
if I promise to be good, can you promise things will turn out as they should?
streets so dark
and lights so yellow
against the blue sky,
It's blue, the sky
and the greenery on both sides
this night
on this night life will change
for the better, they say
on this night
this night things won't stay the same
things cannot remain through the night
cold hands
warmed in my jacket
and my pants pocket
and the flickering of the overhead sign
advertising where we party tonight
nothing's gonna be the same
everything,
oh everything's gonna change
nothing can be the same
everything must change
if I promise
and I do
I really will!
I'll be so good
Can you guarantee
can you even see it going alright for me?
I stumbled on this song a few years ago, and fell in love with it, it went triple platinum on my room istg so I wanted to add it to my covers collection
\(IoI)/ Holy moly... I celebrated my one year tumblr anniversary last month, and now I'm forced to face that I have made 100 flop post LOL
I'm gonna make at least another 300 flops, and to commemorate that sort of blind, incessant carrying-on I've made this song!
Sat outside
Watching the sky
Streaked with colors
Thats life
Singing out
To the clouds
I echo back down
That’s life
Giving up
That anyone hears
Because nobody cares
Thats life
Been too busy to work on myself
Been too prideful to ask for help
Desperately wishing it would all be done
Endlessly seeking somewhere to run
What does this accomplish
Who does this help
I’m still alone
I’m still poor
I’m still selfishly wanting more
Writing songs
Wanting it all
Moving on
That’s life
Being good
Loving you
Easy to do
Thats life
Been too busy to get any better
Convincing myself that time’s the matter
When I’ve got it I’d do fuck all
And wonder how everything’s fallen apart
I want to accomplish
I want you to hear this
I can make music
I can sing songs
I am an artist
Maybe I am wrong
Can I hope
Take a mo’
While I mope
About life
No audience
No one to witness
My worst or my greatest
Any of my life
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pov you've been bed-rotting for a few weeks and decide to open a window, but it just makes you feel a bit worse? Not worse, but like you've failed yourself for not immediately feeling better... so you close the window, and stare out for a minute, as long as you can stand to...
Yeah the ceiling looks nice from this side of the floor
It looks clean, so clean and white you could almost ignore
All the waste of my time looking sky-high and never forward
Let me change the lights, maybe green and bright, so it’s almost like
I’m outdoors
Mmm, outdoors
With the bugs that crawl on me
And the leaves that start tickling (waving)
And the spiderwebs I can’t see but can feel all on me
Mmm the outdoors
The outdoors
How could you take the whole outdoors with you?
How could you?
Take the whole outdoors with you
But it’s fine ‘cause these wall are so straight and so even every time
And they’re sturdy and I’ve heard and they hold up real nice
There’s nothing beyond them, I don’t think so
There is nothing within them, I don’t think
But the outdoors
The outdoors
Where it’s warm, and it’s dirty
But it’s where I wanna be
Out with you, out with me
The outdoors
The outdoors
I wanna take to the outdoors with you
You didn’t take the outdoors, ‘cause how could you?
Just imagine you were happy and had everything and it still wouldn't be enough... It's kinda comforting, in a way that no matter what I can't do anything about this discontentment.
Trees too high to climb
Apples too sweet to bite
A freedom too vast to find
Rivers too wide
Dappled skies
A softness that collides
Hope that rewinds time
An outfit for the sun
Glittering, shimmering, sparkling like the sun
Over cool clean waters
Swaying onto beaten sands
Softly amended
Soft in your hands
I want more
I want more
I want more
Its getting harder to pretend
That it’s easy to forget
That I’d ever forgive
Out of anything other than fear
It’s getting harder to pretend
That I know how this ends
And I know what they’re doing
The things that I do
Nothing stops until it does
And I’m learning what it was
Pinpointing what I want
But always in a past tense
I’m starting to disassociate
Something puts me on pause
I wish I could say what it was
But the words just…
It’s getting harder to turn it off
I know who I’ll become
Dammit I hate it so much
It will consume me
It’s hard to be big
I would never say it was easy
Being that kid
But it’s harder
I know better
It was never meant to be
Something as simple as life could be
For me
But it’s getting harder
I'm sorry I I'm keeping you awake
I know you need a break
I'm sorry that I'm so loud
I'll try my best to keep it down
I'm sorry that I'm still here
I know I said I'd leave last year
I'm sorry that I can't find someone that loves me like you
Nobody loves me like you
Nobody cares, it's true
I'm sorry you do
Know that I'm sorry
I know you wanted to go
You said this don't feel like home
I don't know what I'm missing
I just know I'll miss you
Sorry that you love me
I'm sorry, that's a lie
I'm sorry, but I tried
I tried
If it means anything I'll stay quiet
I'll love you silent
Just not as good as you
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you
I just wanted to thank you
I needed yo see you
You're hard to quit
You smell so sweet
And you love me
And I'm sorry
And I'm sorry
places that have seen too much of what i am.
and i’m made far too bright and far too small
to be capable of having my own say.
and that is something i can’t stand,
so it’s me,
it’s me,
that i try to take away.
Months ago, 2/23 I reblogged this post into my drafts. It's such an evocative and simply effective piece of writing and my breath was taken by it's last line...
"it's me,
that i try to take away"
I truly hope you don't mind, I went and recorded a song that I made 100% inspired by this post! I felt it too deep not to
and all of a sudden, I see
lights
on me
know that I'm in places I'm afraid to be
And all of a sudden I see lights
Lights, on me
Lights on me
In all the places I don't wanna be
Not tonight
Not this time
You, you asked me why?
You asked me, you asked me
You are the reason why
I am too big to hide
There are lights on me now
All my days are bright
I cannot be me
Larger than life
You deserve to see the night
It's beautiful, it's makes me sigh
I love you, and that is why
It's me that I take away
It's me,
that I try to take away
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Savor the flavor of privilege on your tongue
maybe it'll wash away all their blood
Doesn't feel good to know that you are the villain, does it?
So maybe you should grab a pen and rewrite the comic?
Yes, you could try to out-scream their cries
but, why would you bother when you could just press mute?
So, what should you do but ignore what you can?
You can't change that they killed, the ones who've made all your plans.
You can't help, though you want to
You can't help but you choose
to be silent
to forget
to push away
and I can hear it now,
I can hear it now
aren't you
the same?
