Broken and Twisted

and i think that part of it is because tumblr managed to really remain as close to outside of “real life” as possible. your parents aren’t on here. the people you see in real life aren’t on here. it was truly a space that was able to exist for you.

the people you followed and who followed you did so not because they felt some personal obligation (in the way facebook and twitter can feel), but because they liked what was being posted. they liked you being you, or at least being your tumblr persona.

and, perhaps more importantly, we all existed as a username. what appears next to your posts was nothing more than an avatar and that. real names were not only not required, but also discouraged, because you wouldn’t see them.

tumblr was (and is, at least for now) very much a part of the Old Internet, the internet of the early 2000s, where you had a space to be weird and experiment and play around however you want. the internet that was really exemplified by geocities, a free-for-all smorgasbord of things that each publisher found interesting and felt like sharing.

i think it’s fair to compare the change of the internet to gentrification. we very much started with this wild west, no-mans-land that was inhabited by outcasts and artists who went by pseudonyms. as time went on that became less and less the case. now almost every site has a real name policy, and literally everyone is on the internet. 

tumblr managed to stay weird until recently. tumblr managed to keep the oddballs hidden, to let people inhabit whatever persona they wanted, and to create and discard them as they pleased. and that’s something very special. something that “normal” society doesn’t have.

if you go on twitter, you’re expected to go as yourself, and while you can create numerous profiles, changing between them is difficult, and twitter will do its damndest to make sure you find people you know in real life. same with instagram. facebook is even more “real life”. and there’s a consequence to that. all the baggage that exists in real life exists with those sites.

on twitter the most popular posts are by celebrities, by names you’ve heard of in passing. on tumblr the most popular post is literally some shitpost by a random user.

facebook, and all the other “real name” people, talk about how that keeps people authentic, how it makes people act better, how it’s a “meritocracy”. they all exist in an ignorant privileged white boy bubble. without a real identity attached to an idea you don’t know what the person behind it looks like, you don’t know the life they live, and because of that your unconscious biases can’t come in to play (okay yes they can because we have biases around word usage, but less so than around skin color). the real “meritocracy” is the one where everyone is at a level playing field. and that was, to an extent, the old web (ignoring access to resources and limited internet access for a second if you will).

kicking off nsfw content and “female presenting nipples” is just another step of that old web disappearing, and the gates of capitalist, oppressive society going up again. and that’s what’s sad.

Seems like I spoke too soon! They restored the “marked as explicit” section - which I can’t turn off. So their solution to this is to make it so no one can directly view my blog which completely fucks all RP blogs. @pyxion has also been marked in such a way which now makes trying to RP on that blog 100% useless.

I’m honestly flabbergasted that they’ve gone to this extent to try and purge their own users from their website. The best part is that this still won’t fix the porn bot problem.

For now, I’ve made it so this particular blog can be viewed directly on the dash. No one can see my About, Rules, or any other pages on my blog. This means that I will (obviously) not be starting anything new here. For now, I’m going to search for new options, I suppose. I’ll post here when I get those.

Congratulations to Tumblr! They’ve usurped the throne of how quickly someone can run their own website into the ground, previously held by LiveJournal.

Fixed it for now. Still going to start looking into alternatives because it’s only a matter of time before their bullshit flaggers find my stuff and tag it again. Such is the life of someone who runs an 18+ blog.

I’m still amazed at how stupid this whole situation is. My blogs are all backed up, I’ll post archives of them somewhere. I’d love to host it somewhere, but I don’t think that’s actually an option. The archives are big enough to go on file hosting sites, at least.

My dash looks horrific at the moment. It’s super unfortunate. I’m angry but I’m sad, too. I really dislike having to skip back and forth between places to RP. Going to go work on that in the mean time and stop bitching on the dash.

Everyone’s just posting their Discord and I’m over here with like several different ways to be contacted. So here’s a handy list of where to find me.

Kalorii#8438

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https://steamcommunity.com/id/kalorii/

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https://twitter.com/Kalorii

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0553 3979 938

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Aw, that was actually pretty endearing, in a strange, Solis type of way. “daw babe, i didn’t know you liked my hugs that much. ill just have to make sure to give you even more of em.” He winked playfully and gave Solis a squeeze for emphasis.

His playful attitude sombered for a moment as Solis mentioned their fight again. He nodded slowly, reaching a hand up to rub Solis’ jaw affectionately. “yeah,” he admitted softly, “that was definitely a fight.”

The truth was Pap needed some reassurance too. He’d never had a fight with someone he loved before, besides his brother of course but that was different. His brother couldn’t just walk away and cut him out of his life whenever he wanted. Well, technically he could, but Pap not only knew Sans would never do that but it’s also pretty hard to avoid someone when the underground was so small. Especially when he had the ability to teleport and Sans didn’t. But Solis could leave at any time, there was nothing stopping him from teleporting away one day and never coming back. Pap would have no way of finding him and the chance of randomly running into him would be basically zero, especially if Solis actually decided to actively avoid him. He could lose Solis forever with one wrong move, and the thought was terrifying to him.

He pushed those thoughts to the side in favor of focusing on the here and now. Pap sighed softly as Solis ground down on him and licked his jaw, his sockets fluttering closed. “solis, you always make me happy and i always enjoy myself when im with you, no matter what we’re doing.”

He leaned in to kiss his lover long and hard, pouring as much adoration and love into it that he could. While Pap was normally a complete switch in bed, this time he was leaning a little a certain way. Pap shifted beneath Solis, letting his magic form his soft cock and a nice round ass. “would you take me today sweetheart?”

He had no problem taking control most of the time, but he felt like he’d kind of dominated their fight and pushed Solis a bit too much. This was his way of trying to give Solis some control back, even if it was a bit of a silly way of thinking.

WIth just that simple gesture, Solis felt the comfort he always got from Papyrus flow through him. He still hated himself for it, thought of himself as a leech who was trying to sap something he didn’t earn from someone who deserved better. He still revelled in it, enjoying the small squeeze with a soft noise of contentment.

Humming softly as his jaw was rubbed, he tried not to focus on the fight. Just as Papyrus thought Solis would up and leave, Solis was certain it would be the other way around if it came down to it. Solis always wandered considering he had no attachments. He was enjoying actually having attachments again, having someone who wanted to be with him. Papyrus didn’t have to worry about Solis leaving permanently, not anytime soon.

The kiss was returned eagerly, Solis’s fingers drifting over his lover’s shoulders. He felt the change beneath him, moving so he could do the same. Even clothed he could feel the ecto beneath him, solid enough to give his own cock some stimulation.

“I’ll take ya,” he purred, reaching down to run a hand over the ass he felt in Pap’s pants. Not that he really needed to take control, but he would do it to help them both unwind.

Drifting down, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of Papyrus’s pants, gently tugging on them. His tongue was drawn to his lover’s cock, coiling around it briefly before looking up at Pap. “Mind if I take a taste before gettin’ into things?”

“great idea. you got a pillow of me lying around i can borrow?” He teased the other right back, smiling and rubbing more circles between Solis’ shoulders. He was thankful that some of the tension left over from their fight was starting to dissipate. 

He hummed as Solis started tracing patterns on his shoulder, pressing another kiss to his boyfriend’s skull. “make up sex huh? i wouldn’t know if its good, never been with anyone other than you. isnt that for when a couple breaks up and gets back together though? cause i was nowhere near breaking up with you solis.” He kissed the other’s nasal ridge and chuckled, “but i suppose an exception to the rule could be made.”

Honestly the idea of unwinding and allowing himself to just feel good and not think for a while sounded very appealing after all of that. So he nodded and scooted farther down the couch until he was lying down flat with Solis on top of him. “unwinding definitely sounds nice.”

“Nah, havin’ a pillow of ya around would only make me want ya more than I already do. Pillows can’t hug back.”

That was an odd thing to come out of his mouth, but Papyrus was good at doing that to him.Solis had said a lot of things he never thought he’d ever say or even admit to. Even having someone he loved was something far beyond what he’d ever expected out of his sham of a life.

“I might not know much about relationships or anythin’, but I know that make-up sex is supposed to happen after fights. I think what we just went through counts as that, don’t ya think?” he asked, tilting his head.

He took his cue, shifting his legs to bend them, arching his pelvis down with a soft noise. His exhaustion was being replaced with need. For once, his need was directed only at one person, the only one who could fulfill what his body desired. After their disagreement, he wanted the reassurance that they were still okay, that they’d weathered a storm that all of his other relationships would have crumbled against.