dipper and mabel

         “My name is MABEL PINES,

                               and I am here to SAY

                                            I’m gonna make you SMILE

                                                       and I will BRIGHTEN up your day!”   

“No, NO. GOD NO! He’s– he’s a MONSTER!

                               MURDERS PEOPLE for no reason at all!

                                                           He needs to be STOPPED, okay?       

Just once I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshippers.

Actually we do want trouble. We’re demons. We’re pretty much all about trouble.

Look at you, all afraid I’m hot for your honey.

I go online sometimes, but… everyone’s spelling is really bad. It’s… depressing.

The annoying virgin has a point.

We do not joke about eating people in this house!

Sing me a new one sometime. That one’s gone stale.

Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.

Gee, can you vague that up for me?

To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It’s like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they’re just gonna kill you.

I’m sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.

This tower was built by crazy people and I don’t think it’s holding up very well.

You don’t even know what I was writing about! ‘Hunk’ can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, when it says that your eyes are ‘penetrating’, I meant to write ‘bulging’.

Yeah, it was sexy the way she touched me real hard with her fists.

Now, this is not gonna be pretty. We’re talking violence, strong language, adult content…

Maybe you could blow something up. They’re really strict about that.

What… is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?

I laugh in the face of danger! Then I… hide until it goes away.

It’s funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

Testosterone is a great equalizer - it turns all men into morons.

What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?

Zombies don’t eat brains anyway, unless instructed to by their zombie master. A lot of people get that wrong.

And then I’m going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam.

You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras.

To read makes our speaking English good.

I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.

I’ve seen honest faces before. They’re usually attached to liars.

You’re really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren’t you?

I’m like a… superhero or something!

Sorry, but I’m an old fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Translate this for me, Spock. I don’t speak loser.

This is a special kind of angel called a Charlie. We don’t have wings, we just skate around with perfect hair fighting crime.

Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.

Yeah, well, to you and me they’re just candles, but to witches they’re like… bongs.

Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren’t I on the mailing list?

Oh, he’s a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Yes, he’s clearly a bad influence on himself.

I’m going to have to go with Deadboy on this one.

You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?

I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

I defined something? Accurately? Guess I’m done with the book learning.

It’s a big rock. Can’t wait to tell my friends, they all don’t have a rock this big.

Well, we try not to get killed. That’s part of our whole mission statement: “Don’t get killed.”

Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?

You really need every square inch of your ass kicked.

You always hurt the one you love.

I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show ‘em why.

Well, if this guy wants to fight with weapons, I’ve got it covered from A to Z — from ‘axe’ to… ‘zee other axe’.

When you think about him you get that good, down-low tickle, right?

What, you just tripped and fell on his lips?

I’m pathetic, illiterate. I’m Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.

Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.

I’m a rebel! I’m having a rebellion!

I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but, eh, it seemed kinda cartoony.

Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is… ask for help when you need it.

I provide much needed… sarcasm.

I’m here to kill you, not to judge you.

Out. For. A. Walk. Bitch.

A bidet. Like a bidet of evil.

Where would the Justice League have been if they hadn’t put their differences aside to stop the Imperium and his shape-shifting alien horde?

Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.

Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

I don’t want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you.

We’re gonna have to fight to the death, aren’t we?

We’re all on death’s door, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, like maniacal Girl Scouts trying to make quota.

I just want to sleep, yo, for like a week!

Just don’t forget who’s on top.

I’m finished being everybody’s butt-monkey!

Oh, I’m not really into porn… I mean, I’m just trying to cut way back.

On the plus side you’ve killed the bench, which was looking shifty.

Why can’t you just masturbate like the rest of us?

Are you just gonna come here and go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?

I am the Dark Lord of Nightmares! The Bringer of Terror! Tremble before me! Fear me!

Nothing can defeat the penis!

A bear! You made a bear! Undo it, undo it!

If those two don’t kill each other, I might lend a hand.

We’re outlaws with hearts of gold.

I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not going to see anyone who’s invisible.

I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.

Maybe that’s why you and I can never get along. We’re not supposed to exist together.

Thank God we’re hot chicks with superpowers.

The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.

I happen to be very biteable, pal. I’m moist and delicious.

So let me get this straight. You’re… Dracula. The guy. The Count.

And you’re what? Shocked and disappointed? I’m evil!

Yes, let’s tie ourselves to the crazy vampire.

Don’t speak Latin in front of the books.

I owe you pain.

Okay, you get Fangs, I’ll get Horny. I mean…

Crack a government encrypted code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie.

Seize the moment, ‘cause tomorrow you might be dead.

I’ll stay behind and putter around the batcave with crusty old Alfred here.

                                        “No one, can stop me                                         For only I am in CONTROL                                         And if you, want me,                                         You better contact my people.

1. “Only Daddy is allowed to touch you there”

2. “Let Daddy peek under your skirt” 

3. “Did you wear that just for me?”

4. “Do you want it? I’ll buy it for you.”

5. “Good girl, very good.”

6. “Show Daddy those pretty tits.”

7. “You’re my precious baby girl. I love you.”

8. “Bend over Daddy’s knee. You’re going to be punished.”

9. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

10. “I think somebody needs a spanking.”

11. “I think it’s playtime.”

12. “Daddy bought you a new toy today. Let’s try it out.”

13. “You look so cute sucking Daddy’s cock.”

“You’re memeing fast 

                                                   and none of them are good.” 

“Very well,” she nodded, smile widening as he moved to rest his head. Turning more to face Dipper, a blush crossed her cheeks. Her tone was soft, and as she leaned in, she murmured. “… We’re having a girl.”