Lyra

If you recognize me that’s because I’ve been dealing with transitioning to a new blog which has been a bumpy road…

I write microfics currently exclusive to the marauders fandom (mostly angsty), post song lyrics, and yap occasionally.

always happy to make a new friend or receive an ask so comment, like, dm, ask, notifications will lead to more writing!

That’s all for now,

Lily Evans who was friends with Regulus Black & James Potter when they were dating, and was one of the only people who knew they were together 

Lily Evans who was still friends with Regulus Black & James Potter after they broke up, and was one of the only people who saw either of them hurting 

Lily Evans who was the only person James could confide in about his feelings about the break-up 

Lily Evans who cried on James's shoulder about her parents dying, and thinking she was going to be targeted by Death Eaters 

Lily Evans and James Potter who got married straight out of hogwarts because it was the best way to explain their relationship 

Lily Evans and James Potter who get the news that Regulus died alone at 18, together 

Lily Evans and James Potter who both still love Regulus (although differently) and are absolutely destroyed by Regulus's death 

Lily Evans who watched James fall apart in 7th year, who'd put together the pieces as best she could, who watched him shatter irreparably when Regulus died 

Lily Evans who knew her husband loved her and her son, but knew that the hollow look would never leave his eyes, no matter how much love he had for them 

Lily Evans who heard her husband die, and felt peace, knowing he'd finally be reunited with his true love 

Their real issue, though, is that they don’t seem to know that they’re thoroughly in love with each other. If you ask Evan or any of their friend group, they’re just best friends. 

But friends aren’t physically affectionate the way those two are —Barty is almost always found in Evan’s lap, or with an arm over his shoulder, or something else equally incriminating —especially with the constant collar of bite marks on Evans collar. 

And when asked, Barty will always insist that he and Evan have been a couple for ages. 

But at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter if they were publicly acknowledged as a couple or not: straight out of Hogwarts, Evan was engaged to a pureblood girl from France that he’d never met, and then he was dead.

Evan knew that there was nothing actually wrong with muggle-borns, but that didn’t stop him from resenting them.

It was because of all this bullshit about blood purity that he and his friends were in this awful situation.

And of course it isn’t the muggle-born’s fault they were born, or that Hogwarts was the best place for them to learn their magic, but it was easier to hate them —when they were the ones he’d have to kill anyway— then to acknowledge who was really at fault for this tragedy.

It was easier to blame Sirius for running away and leaving Regulus behind, than to acknowledge why he and Regulus needed to leave that house.

Regulus should’ve left with Sirius; why didn’t Regulus run too? Why did he think this a better fate?

It was easier to follow his parents' example, and act the part of the wealthy ambitious Rosier heir than to try and realize his own interests and ambitions.

No one cares what he wants, his whole life has been planned for him since birth.

The day that Evan Rosier graduates from Hogwarts he’ll sign his life over to Lord Voldemort —a moment he thinks about often, and with dread— then spend the next few years killing muggle-borns and terrorizing muggle towns before getting married to some pureblood girl of his parents choice.

It doesn’t matter that Evan would never love anyone other than Barty to want to marry them.

It doesn’t matter that Evan would rather do anything than join the death eaters.

It doesn’t matter that his best friend will die before they reach 18.

Here’s the thing about Regulus: he’s doomed by the narrative.

Everyone who has ever tried to love him has suffered some terrible fate for trying.

First Walburga, who really did try to love her sons —if Sirius is to be believed, she was sort of successful before Regulus came around—  but was taken by the black family madness* shortly after his birth, and was cruel his entire childhood.

Then Sirius, who always loved Regulus more like a parent than either of their actual parents. Sirius, who raised him, protected him, and took beatings for him. Sirius, who got hurt so bad protecting Regulus that he had to abandon him to stay alive. 

Then Evan, who was Regulus’ first friend —and only partially because he was the only kid his own age he had to spend time with— who was so devastatingly loyal to Regulus that he abandoned his sister in Ravenclaw to join Regulus in Slytherin. Evan, who sacrificed his whole life & got the dark mark so Regulus wouldn’t have to do it alone.

Of course with Evan, came Pandora, who was blessed with the gift of sight. But of course her love for Regulus turned even such a blessing into a curse, and so her dreams were plagued with visions of his death till it drove her too mad.

So no Regulus was not exaggerating when he said he was doomed by the narrative for all those who try to love him to suffer.

So really it was in everyone’s best interest that he cruelly reject Barty’s feelings before they became anything real or substantial.

It would be better for everyone if Barty grew up and realized what a bad choice loving Regulus was, especially with Evan right there, so sweet, waiting with his crush on Barty.

Because here’s the thing about Regulus: he’s really a selfish person. 

And as Regulus and Evan watched the dementor suck the soul from Barty’s body, both couldn’t help but wish Regulus had been just a bit stronger, so maybe Barty could’ve been saved his fate. 

"Ha! I told you you'd look good in gold Mr. "I look better in silver" Black! See how much cooler gold rings are?"

Gold.

Why is he wearing gold?

Sirius never wore gold before he left, he only ever wore silver. Any time it came up he went on and on about how silver looked better with his complexion, how gold washes him out. What could have possibly changed about that? Why is he wearing it now? Just because the Potters wear gold? Or was it because of him? 

Regulus doesn't wear rings. He doesn't like wearing them, they're annoying and uncomfortable and they get caught in his clothes and make it hard to write properly or do anything with his hands and most of the time they slip around on his fingers.

But Sirius left so many in his room when he ran away, and Regulus misses his brother doesn't want them to go to waste so he might as well wear them and-

Who is he kidding? Regulus wore Sirius's rings because he missed him. He couldn't reach out -his parents would find out, and they would be furious if he didn't shut out his brother "the blood traitor"- but he could wear his rings. He could tell him he still loves him and that he's still his brother, maybe not with words or actions, but he could wear the one with a subtle engraving of the Canis Major on his index finger like Sirius used to wear the one with the Leo on his, he could bear the discomfort and wear rings every single day if it meant his brother knew he still loves him.

"You know," Remus had started tentatively, "Sirius was surprised to see you wearing rings the other day." Regulus had been shocked; he and Remus rarely talked about anything other than the time on their prefect rounds, and they certainly never discussed Sirius. "He was very confused, said he thought you hated them, and that you hated wearing silver because it's hard to maintain" Remus was obviously fishing for information, maybe on behalf of his brother but Regulus wasn't going to tell him anything he didn't know how to explain it without sounding pathetic if Sirius wanted to confront him about it fine, but he couldn't be a coward and go through his boyfriend. So Regulus just hummed in acknowledgement and continued on his way.

That acknowledgement made it so much more painful when Regulus realised that Sirius had switched to gold.

That acknowledgement meant that Regulus couldn't just pretend that Sirius had changed metals without knowing that Regulus now wore silver rings too.

That acknowledgement meant that Sirius had changed metals as a message to Regulus, that he wanted absolutely no connection to him, that he'd seen Regulus wearing his old rings and wanted to put as much distance between them as he could without giving up his favourite type of jewellery. 

Sirius "I’ll never wear gold" Black was telling Regulus that he was just like the rest of their family: dead to him.