it's twiggsie bitch ;;

I think it depends on who you are. If you're an artist, then the meaning of life is probably to create and stuff. Or if you're someone that's really caring, then it's probably to take care of cats and babies and things. Or if you're really ambitious, then I guess it's to be your idea of successful and get Alan Sugar to hire you. But, for me? The meaning of life is definitely Doctor Who.

Well, today was supposed to be my lazy Sunday where I do nothing else besides playing video games, but school totally ruined that, so now I really need to do that tomorrow to catch up, don’t I? Fuck that, the moment this charity thing is over I will be throwing kerosine over it and watch it burn, if you’re into it we could burn our costumes together, make it a ritual.

To be fair, every day on the weekend and every evening during the week is used as my lazy, video game tim so, if anything, that day was probably good for me. Not too good for me, though, because I was playing Harvest Moon under the table. But whatever. And I definitely don't want to be responsible for a town-fire, so maybe we could just cut them up and play COD instead. Making up for lost video gaming time and all that.

snapchat} everyone

Spending my free day off working at the mall for charity thanks to school, does this mean I can skip all my classes tomorrow or is that too much to ask?

It depends what for. If you're going to skip classes to watch a bunch of TV, thens sure. But if you're just going to spend the time perfecting your Elf costume, then it's not worth it, you might as well go to class.

Okay, yes i definitely would rather do something else right now, but this can’t be that bad right? We are doing something good, i guess?

It's for a good cause, I guess. And I look really attractive in green tights, so there's a little treat for everybody. Seriously, though, how much longer do we have to be here?

T-twiggsie? What is t-that for a n-name. N-nervous? I ehm- I’m not nervous… Okay m-mayeb a little bit. But to ehm answer your question no, i-it’s not you.

My last name's Twiggs, some jock-kid that I barely see anymore started calling me Twiggsie and everyone listened to him because he could have probably beat them all up without much effort if he felt like it. 

I h-highly doubt most people w-willl return it if t-they find out it’s mine… T-thank you though. I ehm I am E-evan, nice to m-meet you.

Twiggsie. Does everyone make you nervous, by the way, or just me? 'Cause, I swear, I'm nice.

That is a relief! It would be a shame if you disliked them all. Elsa is quite lovely and her sense of style is amazing. Tiana is very humorous and I’m glad she got the prince. Snow White is the only princess that annoys me. She is quite lovely, but her voice makes me cringe. What is wrong with Sleeping Beauty? It is not her fault she fell into a deep sleep. Oh. I have not seen that and it sounds like something that is not up my alley. I believe princesses should be clean. Do I? I did not notice. No she is not, but it would be quite cool if she was. My mother was raised in the south—does that help?

How do you know her sense of style is amazing? You only see that one dress, the rest of her clothes might be shit. Snow White's defining skill is that she can sing and birds come which isn't very good if you think about Spiderman being able to crawl up buildings and the baby from The Incredibles being able to blow up into a ball of fire, you know? No one can be clean all the time, though, not even princesses. And that doesn't really help because Julie Andrews isn't from the south. Thanks for trying, though.

Rob a bank…? … ‘We’? I… I hope you’re not being literal.

Definitely kidding. I'd get caught, anyway, I walk like an elephant.

I dunno about the ‘telling people off’ part, but hugs sound good. But I do think six-year-old’s are materialistic at heart, unfortunately, and might cry if all I can give her is a hug.

Yeah, kids are a little different, you can't really make them feel bad 'cause they're kids. I guess we'll just have to rob a bank, then, huh?

Why do gifts have to be so expensive? If only Black Friday wasn’t such a violent venue, it would’ve helped loads.

You could always just give people hugs for Christmas and if they complain you can just tell them off for being materialistic. 

It is quite alright, just let that be the last. Oh. I see. What is wrong with them? Are they not princess enough for you? I do love Disney a lot! Albeit, it is a bit unrealistic, I am still a fan. Oh, that is quite disappointing. I am sorry. Well, it may be winter, but what if it is their child’s birthday? I am sure there is a way to put it indoors. You should be glad you found one, yes? The theme should not matter. 

I like some of them. Elsa's pretty kick-ass and so's Tiana but Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are bores. I'd definitely rather watch Merlin or something where the royalty gets down and dirty with bows and arrows and shit. Also, you talk like Mary Poppins. Is Julie Andrews your mum?

A bouncy castle? I have not been on on since I was a child! That is very exciting. Are you having a party of some sort? You do know there is a way to say fun with the other f word, yes? There is if you did not. What is so wrong with princesses? I am quite a fan. Did they not have a different theme? 

Sorry, I promise I won't say fuck again. Princesses are great but Disney Princesses aren't my favourite type. And, no, they didn't have another theme, they were all booked up and I have no idea why because it's fuc---fudging winter and no one sane wants a bouncy castle right now. But, apparently, people still do so we're stuck with the Disney theme.

I ehm checked all of t-those places, if I r-recall correctly. It ehm i-it;s fine, y-you at least t-try. Ehm yeah, all my uh drabbles are i-in there… It’s like reall important,

Oh, well, you can go to the school office and they can do one of those annoying announcement things, if you ask. I'll keep my eye out for it, though, but I'm not sure how much help I'll be beyond the obvious places to look. What's your name, so I know who to return it to should a miracle strike and I come across it?

Disney Princess-themed? Totally my thing, I don’t really care what your neighbours think you see. I’m coming over.

Really? Nyx Walsh, right? I've heard more people say your thing is smoking pot in the sports equipment room and blowjobs behind the bleachers. And, believe me, if there was a polite way to have said that, I would have gone for it.

I’ve done a lot of shit, so I mean I’m not surprised, but I’m still gonna kill someone for slashing them.

Well, when you're in prison for killing someone you wont be able to use the car, anyway. Here's something: stop doing shit stuff?