Tweets Under Glass

Some routines aren’t boring.

They’re load-bearing.

When everything else in a day requires a decision or an adjustment, the thing that stays the same isn’t a rut.

It’s a relief.

Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Schrödinger: Nice.

One of my favorite human traits is when someone sees the moon and immediately feels the need to tell someone else to go look at it.

"Shortly after Hammurabi published his legal code, I went through a significant loss..." [scroll scroll scroll] "...was looking for an easy, one pot recipe which could..." [scroll scroll scroll] "...eye for an eye..." [scroll scroll scroll] "First, take one leg of mutton."

The kid next door (toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher-Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, "Oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!" And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you've ever heard. Just very clearly an attempt at saying, "My what?" He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

I feel sorry for the utensils I use straight out of the dishwasher. They haven't had time to relax with their friends in the drawer and instead are being thrust straight back into work. Sorry favourite coffee spoon.

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up, I shut up and subtitles come out my face.

Shout out to everyone making progress that no one recognizes because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. You’ve been silently winning battles and transforming yourself. Be proud of every step you’re making in the right direction. Keep going because you’ve got this. Bri

If you want to rage against the dying of the light, press 1. If you want to rage against the machine, press 2. Repeatedly.

Goldie Williams, Arrested For Vagrancy & Refused to Unfold Her Arms and Stop Making This Face For Her 1898 Mugshot. (Omaha, Nebraska)

She’s talking about our wedding btw.

I learned something very beautiful today. In French, "bibliothèque intérieure" means your "inner library", the invisible shelf you carry inside, filled with every story that's ever shaped you.

All the books you've loved, the heartbreaks you've survived, the random quotes that stuck, the memories that built you. They all live there. Quietly reminding you of who you are and how far you've come.

Have you ever try to help someone and realize they like their problems?

Women who needlepoint are so inspiring to me. They're living proof that females have the patience to stab something 1000 times in a row.

The termites in my backyard have formalized a religion. They have declared a holy war against the ants, have had three schisms, and have had both a pope and an anti-Pope.

So my question: they have built a cathedral that blocks my view. What should I do? Is this a zoning issue

Ever since I was little I always knew I wanted to retire.

“you stay up so late” when else am i going to eat my cereal and relish in the undiluted whimsy of the night ???