❛ i’m gonna start as a man! because i have a penis. ❜
❛ no!! wait, i love you!! … wait, what the hell ❜
❛ i may not have been on many dates, but i’m pretty sure this is weird. ❜
❛ you know what? love is blind… i think? i think that’s what they say, right? love is something, anyway. love is strong, love is passionate, love— love is apparently candy crush. ❜
❛ you can’t keep all that boob to yourself! ❜
❛ you are one horny fairy. i’m not helping you. ❜
❛ i’m not questioning your taste or anything but what’s with your taste? ❜
❛ you’re not gonna see much of boobaloos other than what you see in front of you right now. ❜
❛ i’m twelve years old. ❜
( japanese theme song plays sporadically )
❛ oooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! oh, i’m sorry, i blacked out for a little bit there. i don’t know what happened, i just thouht that i— OOOOOOOOOO!!! ❜
❛ my god, that is the weirdest bikini i’ve ever seen, but oddly i think it’s my favorite, all of a sudden, i have no idea why… ❜
❛ that sounded weird, but i can make it weirder if you want me to! ❜
❛ i gave that to everyone else, but it really is special when i give it to you. ❜
❛ tomato’s a fruit. technically speaking. ❜
❛ i bought you things, therefore you show me affection. ❜
❛ okay, i’m gonna leave before i hate you more. ❜
❛ oh, i know how that feels. ❜
❛ oH I WISH I WAS TALLER! OOHH I WISH ALL MY FRIENDS WEREN’T SIX FOOT FOUR!! IT’S SUCH BULLSHIT! ❜
❛ what’s wrong? did i hurt your whore feelings? ❜
❛ oh yeah, you like veggies. eggplant! ❜
❛ so are you like a cosplayer? ❜
( LOUD DISGUSTED NOISES )
achievement unlocked: bestiality
dating tips: do a lot of drugs
❛ i do have to know ‘cause i’m a weirdo. ❜
❛ do you need help holding up your boobs while you’re working out? is that what we’re talking about here? ❜
❛ okay, whatever, you live in this crazy world that you’re in! ❜
❛ i can’t wait to impress you with my charm and candy crush skills! ❜
❛ she looked like any other anime girl ever. ❜
❛ well, i would, but i’m usually looking at her butt. ❜
❛ but, gosh, you’re pretty! ❜
❛ need help holding up your boobs? ❜
❛ oh, god, i only have 304 dollars to my name. and when leaves cost 800 that’s not a lot in this economy. ❜
( LOUD SLIGHTLY AROUSED NOISES )
❛ i knew love was candy crush, i didn’t know sex was candy crush too. ❜
❛ i’m candy crushing my way to coitus. ❜
❛ i want to seducinate all of them. and then do the dance of sex. ❜
❛ oh! i can flirt with you! ❜
❛ if we could build a wall around the earth, keep out these dirty darn aliens, like superman. ❜
❛ FUCK YOU, SUPERMAN! ❜
❛ of course i couldn’t forget! you just saw it, how could i forget? ❜
❛ i only gave a dirty magazine to a fairy, don’t worry about it! ❜
❛ ayy, i’ve been playing douchebag games. i know how to get the ladies. ❜
❛ where is my viagra? i mean steroids. ❜
❛ where do you live!? is that coulds!? are you cloud lady!? ❜
❛ i’ll take her on a date and then i’ll start flirting with a cat! won’t that be exciting? ❜
❛ you look fine just the way you are, with your boob window and all that. ❜
❛ i know, i’m from earth and the world’s greatest lover. human lover. i love humans. ❜
❛ was that a yawn? did you just yawn? why am i feeling so aroused by a yawn!? ❜
❛ you look good, but not that good. stop being so up your own ass about it. ❜
❛ don’t make noises like that, i’m trying to concentrate. ❜
❛ check, done, banged. ❜
❛ i’m seeing a lot of girls. aliens, cats, tons of girls all over the place. ❜
❛ i’m gonna do the sex! i’m gonna do the sexicles! ❜
❛ i’m in the middle of something! ❜
❛ do not update! i will punch you! ❜
❛ man, what kind of sugar daddy am i? i just bough her a laptop… ❜
❛ i just wanna get it out of the way. i wanna get this horrible, horrible experience out of the way, so i can move on to greener patches and be happy with my life, even though that’s not gonna happen. ❜
❛ what are you doing with that banana? ❜
❛ well, i feel dirty. ❜
❛ are you okay? does that hurt? did something happen to you? ❜
❛ okay that sounded like a straight up goat. ❜
❛ i’m not okay with this. that was 100% goat right there. ❜
❛ why don’t i feel good about myself? you’d think i’d feel good, but maybe this endless conquest isn’t filling up the empty void in my heart. and maybe what i really need is a meaningful relationship where i stay with one woman… for the rest of my life. ❜
❛ ow! that actually hurt! ❜
❛ owie! ouchie kebibbles. ❜
❛ oh, i think i do know what’s up! we’re gonna play a game of mario kart, oh boy! ❜
❛ how do you people keep getting into my house!? ❜
❛ you think she stands a cha– (proudly hits chest with hand) ow. stands a chance against me!? i’m the man! ❜
❛ it seems like i’m gonna punch her in the face, but that’s not what i’m gonna do. ❜
❛ when people look at me they definitely think that i’m the highest man they’ve ever seen. that’s without a doubt. ❜
❛ you can let go of your boob now. ❜
❛ well, watch out for my signature move! penis and vagina! ❜
prguitarman
jacobvanloon
discoholicmusic
kianamaiart
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