turbocompressed

date a girl who makes hissing and wheeshing sounds when she gets up, makes huffing and chuffing noises with each footstep, and whistles four times before she crosses the street.

lifting up an embarrassed trans girl's tented skirt to reveal her wet neopussy

i think everyone should program at least once just so you realise just how fucking stupid computers are. because theyre so fucking stupid. a computer wants to be told what to do and exactly that and if you make one typo or forget one detail it starts crying uncontrollably

Relatable 💀

primal play with something significantly faster than them, where they just get injured worse and worse the longer they run until they’re desperately crawling away and their pursuer is just walking towards them at a leisurely pace waiting for them to give up

i highly recommend finding yourself a clingy (healthy) lovey dovey partner who's always super excited about you. life is too short to spend it with someone who acts like showing love is a chore.

I actually genuinely don't care if people wear fetish gear out in public like I don't care. This is one of those things people always want you to be outraged about but I genuinely don't give a fuck I'm sorry

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me