Having a lot of confusing feelings mainly that I’m attracted to the barista that I hated now that she got a haircut and someone I thought was gay isn’t but that’s it

I feel for me it’s important to always feel heartbroken because while it’s not based in a reality (most of the people i like do like me back scary enough) it’s the closest I get to grieving my trauma and mourning a less traumatized me or a differently traumatized me

I don’t know a lot of people don’t know anything about being alive or at least they mask it very well

I have a lot of pain that I thought I could skip but I can’t and I don’t want to see it anymore anything I’m hurt and I don’t want to think about how I came to be I feel like a mutt and I love myself for it maybe but it hurts it really fucking hurts

Imagine all the hearts destroyed by drawing a line in the dirt