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if they exist, God works “in mysterious ways” because we’re all just playing a big dnd campaign and clairvoyance would be way to fuckin overpowered

Jojo’s bizarre adventure abridged but Loggins and Messina are voiced by Goz and Mez from DBZA

On a date if one person pays, they can take some of the other person’s food. If the person not paying tries, you are legally allowed to slap that greedy fuck.

Is there anyone called Johnathan who goes by Nathan or Nate instead of John or Joe?

In my headcanon, the reason Spider-man’s villains always get out of jail is J Jonah Jameson bails them out EVERY time

I have peeled a lemon and am eating like an orange. God can get fucked.

Heaven is made of chinchillas

Garlic is beautiful not only because it’s delicious, but because if you eat enough of it you could probably kill Dracula by kissing him

any world leader who wants to go to war should have to approach the leader of the country it’s being declared on and state “1, 2, 3, 4 I declare a <blank> war!” Where blank is replaced with whatever type of war it’ll be

My computer's broken and I got a hazel thorn thrpugh my foot I am straight up not having a good time

Some days I am trash and awful, but today... today motherfuckers I am the god of this world.