#jjj

Robbie: "Jonah... you can't just assume that's the case. It's unethical AND libel."

Jonah: "You know what IS unethical, Robertson?!? That circus act of an arachnid menace doing this to spite me!!!!"

Petra: "Here you go, JJ! Fresh off the old camera as of this morning."

Petra: "...You know Jonah, I've gotten pretty close-up pictures of the web-head these last few weeks, and from experience I can almost CERTAINLY tell you her transition is the real deal."

Robbie: "...told you, man."

Jonah: "Urrrrgghhhhh, SCRATCH WHAT I SAID!! Change the headline: SPIDER-WOMAN STILL THE SAME SPIDER-MENACE! Now get out of here, my office is not a recreational lounge!"

Petra: "...you still haven't paid me for the pictures."

Jonah: "What? ...oh. FINE Parker, you drive a hard-bargain! Talk to my secretary for your check, tell her to give you a bonus on my part so you can buy some HRT or whatever it is you kids use these days. If there's one thing J. Jonah Jameson does well, it's treating his employees with dignity and respect!!"

JJJ: And why is that, menace?

Being like “Hey, everyone, sorry, sorry, it’s my weekend with the kid” while showing up late to some hero meeting with Miles (everyone’s first time seeing or even hearing about this kid btw) (obviously Miles has his own Spidey suit)

And what he means but no one has the context for is that he only does every other weekend trainings with Miles to not interfere with his schoolwork and social life, but obviously everyone else takes it the other way

— I wouldn't have minded if we've just... Stayed at the bottom together.

Basically a newsie Lex Luthor but w/ hair and a lack of scientific know-how.

A horrible boss.

He only hired Peter because he can get pictures of Spider-Man.

Runs smeer campaigns and spreads misinformation.

He doesn't use his influence for anything positive.

He has a single-minded, ill-defined hatred of Spider-Man.

Only targets Spidey even though there are other vigilantes who wear masks in NYC.

He is willing to hire assassins to kill Spidey because he's that petty.

Cop boot kisser

Good JJJ writing:

Guy who built his company from the ground up and happened to make it big time.

A decent, if very loud and opinionated, boss who cares about his employees and is willing to risk himself for their safety.

Hired Peter, who had zero experience and was still in high school at the time, because he knew about Uncle Ben's death and knew this scraggly teenager and his elderly aunt were struggling financially. The Spider-Man photos were just a bonus.

Believes in the power of the truth and is willing to make retractions if proven wrong (even if he really doesn't want to).

Uses his influence to promote equal rights for marginalized groups (including the in-universe mutants).

Dislikes Spider-Man both because of trauma related to a masked mugger and because he's worried that the anonymity of Spidey's mask means that if he ever does go too far, then he won't face tangible consequences.

Part of why he targets Spider-Man more than other "street heroes" is because he wants Spidey to rise to the bait and prove him wrong, and also because Spidey's fights tend to cause more property damage then, say, Daredevil's.

Would only hire assassins and/or build anti-spidey tech as a last resort.

Refers to firemen and paramedics as "the real heroes." And also astronauts, because his son is an astronaut and he loves his son so much.

Once yelled at Godzilla, lived.