Pam Purplecellist

女体化 click to see more doodles

So after hours of crying and feeling empty inside, I feel like I have the mental stamina to make a post about Kanae von Rosewald.

I hoped with all my heart these past couple months that Kanae would be spared. If there’s anyone who deserves even the smallest speck of happiness, to me, it’s her. Kanae has been my favourite character in the entirety of :Re and it’s devastating to see her go.

That said, Ishida did give her one hell of a death. It was beautiful, poetic and completely and utterly tragic. She did seem to get her small speck of happiness in the end, but God, why like this? WHY?! Kanae’s death was all about her taking back agency over her own life. She’s spent so much of her time living for others; her family, Shuu, even for Eto. And in her final moments, she was able to overcome all of this and gain some closure and peace of mind.

Shuu tells Kanae to let go of him, and she adamantly refuses. As far as I can remember, Kanae has never disobeyed Shuu in the entirety of :Re. She has a great deal of respect and admiration for him; significantly more than she has for herself. Finally, Kanae is putting her own desires first.

Kanae also overcomes the horrors that Eto inflicted on her; she rips open the stitches in her own mouth while screaming for Shuu. Kanae is finally refusing to be silenced by anybody.

And, most significantly, Kanae reclaims her identity as Karren. Her desire for Shuu to say her ‘real name’ indicates that she had always wanted to be seen as Karren von Rosewald, and not as her manufactured identity, Kanae. She throws away her father’s wish to continue the family line and throws away her fabricated name. She then presents herself to Shuu as Karren, how she truly wished to be seen. Her anger and hate from being so repressed are stripped away, and falling to her death, she makes herself vulnerable, confessing her love while simultaneously apologizing for it. And she does it all in German, her native tongue, which makes it seem somehow more intimate to me.

These two panels were so beautiful, and the ones that made me cry the hardest. I’m not the biggest fan of Shuu, but despite all of his shortcomings, I really developed some respect for him during this scene. Shuu does something so very, very special for Karren here: he accepts her as she is.

After Karren confesses everything that she’s kept secret for so long, Shuu looks at her with the most gentle expression and with a few simple words, frees her. He tells her not to worry. To release her burdens. She need not feel guilt over the past, over her own emotions. Shuu gives Karren the most precious moment I’ve seen in :Re to date.

Finally released from her burdens, Karren, in her final act - an act of her own free will - saves Shuu while sacrificing herself. She is able to die with a light heart, knowing that in her last moments she was able to be true to herself and accepted by the man she loved so dearly. This is about as empowering as death scenes get.

Karren’s death was tragic, beautiful, and so very much like her. I won’t stop crying over her for a long time, but there is some comfort to be had in the fact that Ishida took the time to craft such an amazing death scene for her, and knowing that she will truly be at rest.

Have some Morticia, Bellatrix, and Amy Lee! The Goth Queens!

crying babby dio for @fuwapeach/@diodio ive been a fan of this series for like………2 years and i only drew him like 3 times