The Truth in Reality

I am a poor poor poor college student working several jobs (as in, 3 1/2 last semester, 2 currently, and 4 next school year) and am barely able to pay all of my bills plus get something to eat that’s more than pasta, rice, peanut butter (sandwiches is iffy because bread is expensive), or lettuce. When my mom comes up to my campus I always ensure a trip to Walmart happens so that I can stock up on food for a while, but afterwards I always feel really guilty because I feel as though I should be able to pay for things that I need by myself. I’m a full-time student with two semesters left of undergrad before I (hopefully) venture on to grad school (which I will be paying for by myself, which basically means I’m going to be taking out a crap ton of student loans so that I can actually get a PhD to get an actual job. Yeah, being a psychology major is definitely not the best financial-wise choice in life). 

I have a little saved up for that (like, 1 or 2 credits worth tops) but have had to take money from there just to make sure that my checks won’t bounce when bill-time comes around (which is kind of counter-intuitive if I’m trying to go to grad school to actually get a job to actually be able to pay my bills and have a more solid foundation). Apparently no one thinks I’m good enough to get a scholarship and one of my current ones (of my current 2 which don’t offer much help to tuition) is expiring in a semester. There’s not much left in my college fund so paying for undergrad my last semester is going to be slightly difficult. 

Getting extra money would be highly useful so that I don’t have to keep living paycheck to paycheck, nervous about if I picked up enough work hours for the week. However, I also know that I can only pick up so many hours and often times, based on my school-load (currently 13 credits for four, 7-week courses that are usually taught in 14 weeks), ensuring I actually make something to eat that has some sort of substance (which has lately been string cheese, pasta, and pizza rolls with the first and last being treats!) while also sleeping enough and taking care of my mental health, which causes issues. I often burn myself-out (this week it was by Tuesday! Classes started on Monday!) but keep pushing myself to work as much as I can just to feel some sort of financial-security, even though countless people tell me to stop.

have I really not been on here in that long.