Thoughts of a complete Mess
        Another day goes by, and I am still in the same mind as I was a year ago, with no idea what I want with life. Cigarettes after cigarettes go by and I ruminate on my successes my failures and nothing makes sense. I had a girlfriend had a relationship had a job just a year earlier and then everything seemed so stable, so composed so what happened now?
        I light up another Flake give it a puff and try being pretentious, thinking things like ‘I don’t need stability of mind’, ‘I don’t need to have a set goal! I will go where life takes me!’ But is that how you live a life, maybe you do but the more burning question is, do I want to live like that?
        ‘I am so fucked up!’ I silently mutter to myself (with a soft inner chuckle), and I realize that’s the truth, I am not like other persons so settled in their life, and maybe just maybe my life will be a complete crazy adventure because of that. So many failures and I enjoyed every one of them, they made me a cynic, made me dark, but they made me I am proud of them.
        I reminisce the day lost, doing a job I don’t enjoy with miserable people each fighting for their own little empires that their small minds covet, calling up a person who I thought could be my rock realizing I matter jack to her, and now writing about my demons in a blog that offers me no solace. I realize I don’t really care I will write because that is the only thing I enjoy doing even though I may never find peace. Good night.