Listening Well is More Important Than Selling Yourself
Learning to listen well isnât as easy as it sounds. How many times have you been involved in conversations that seem so competitive that theyâre not really conversations at all? Business networking in particular can be a minefield when it comes to these kinds of encounters.
You can see how it happens. The urge to sell yourself, to project your personality can end up driving you. But anyone whoâs been at the mercy of an aggressive salesperson, or a bore at a party can tell you what an unattractive trait this can become.
Think about when you were a child and playing with other children. Itâs often the case that kidsâ communication involves them saying to one another, âIâm doing thisâ or âlook at what I can doâ. They havenât learnt the art of conversation yet, instead theyâre self-actualising by bouncing their self-perception off each other. This is entirely appropriate for them at this time.
I think when you encounter people in the adult world who simply talk at you, about themselves and what theyâre up to, they come across as not having learnt to have a proper conversation. Theyâre still self-actualising. It may be that the pressure of getting across what they do in business has swamped any other considerations. Or it could be that they simply donât get it and they can only communicate in terms of themselves.
When it comes to writing material for clients I try and get them to see things from their prospective customersâ viewpoint. Offloading a mass of noise and bluster about your various achievements isnât going to make people want to use your services or buy from you. Being willing to listen to their concerns and address them accordingly is far more likely to win you customers and clients.
Being nice to others and helpful are not signs of weakness. I think you make yourself more inherently interesting if youâre prepared to listen to what other people have to say. Plus, the more you listen, the more knowledge youâll accumulate, and knowledge is where the real power lies.
If you can work out what people want, and how you can help them get it, thatâs a route to success that doesnât involve you lording it over people with your ego.













