Truama Ig

Work was horrible yesterday. Police were called. Inspections made. Tills breaking. Then I go to his to rest. I rest alone. He comes home and rests with me. Life is better. 2am he gets onto his game when I’m trying to sleep. It’s 4am and he’s still on his game. I sleep. I wake up and have to leave. I try to talk to him. I turn the light on to get dressed. He ignores me till I leave and doesn’t say a word to me. I speak to him. He’s ignoring me because the lights were on and that annoyed him. I’m upset and crying cause I think I did something horribly wrong. Nope. Light switch.

I never thought I’d experience that. Watching my only grandparent seize right in front of me. I’ll never forget that groan she let out. She couldn’t even remember who I was. She stroked my hair and called me by my aunties name.

How fucking dare you come into the shop you know I work at. How dare you come into the only space I feel safe. You can’t just appear and make me shake for hours because you just scared me so much. I can’t believe it was you. The last time I saw you was before you even broke up with me.

Finally got my tattoos. Only problem is I’m heavily dissociated today and will I possibly snap out of this in a few days time and regret these permanent things on my body???

I did not want to serve you yesterday. Your lucky waistcoat was standing behind you because I would’ve cried if he wasn’t. Cunt.

I turned 18. Let this adult world consume me

I know it’s petty to be upset but I got into my uni course. And my dad just. Didn’t say anything. He just asked if I had something to tell him. I told him that I just got the official notice that morning and all I got was a thumbs up. Not a well done. Not a I’m proud of you. Nothing from him.

I never saw my roses bloom

I fucking hated Trixie . She made a comment about me finally eating a full meal and just went “are you seriously gonna eat all that?”. Father kept grabbing the back of my neck like he used to. Waistcoat served ginger cunt. Drone was an asshole. That holiday was a fucking nightmare.

I just want him to care FOR ONE DAY. I slept 2 hours last night worrying myself to the point of being sick about this exam. I already argued with everyone because they wanted me to do their chores when I had to study. Then I finally get to sleep after the exam. 20 mins later drone wakes me up with his guitar so I ask him to turn it down. And he told me to stop being lazy because I’ve done nothing all day. When I tell him with tears in my eyes about my exam (for the 5th time) he tells me to go away because obviously I’m about to cry. And I leave for work in 50 minutes so no point in going back to sleep

I’m actually getting stronger. The small weights I’ve been using in my house aren’t doing anything. The bigger weights are getting easier. I’m doing this

Am I hallucinating? I could’ve sworn on my life you were right infront of me. I could’ve sworn. You were right there. Then I look down and back up again and you’re not there. Wtf is wrong with me?

I cant fucking please you. I’ve done so well today. I hosted a dementia group all by myself. The people loved it so much they asked me to come back to other groups they attended. I went to see one of my favourite musicals. I get home and try to tell you and all you can focus on was the fact I forgot to bring FUVKING GLOWSTICKS LIKE I PLANNED