oh that's not...

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

i think the entire vegas golden knights team belongs in prison. (remembers i dont believe in incarceration as a solution for anything) we should restructure society so that the vegas golden knights cannot exist within it

you want REAL enemies to lovers? they're from rival countries who wage war against one another. he steals from her, over and over again. she maims him. she's the reason he has nightmares. she's the only one who can soothe him. calf love that survives amputation. she jokes about poisoning him. he kills for her honour. she lets him do whatever he wants. he kidnaps her so she will marry him. they wear matching embroidery. she cried on their wedding night. he saved her from her fate. she saved him from his fate. he didn't marry her to become king. he became king because he wanted to marry her. they're both just two lonely kids. the gods themselves have been rooting for them.

the queen of attolia is like, what if gods loved you. what if they had plans for you, and they stepped down the earth just for you. what if they knew you better than you do, and even intervened personally to make sure you fail, twice, just so you would become the man you actually needed to be. what if you didn't want them to actually reply to you. what if their regard on your mortal life was a burden too much to bear

i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats. now theyre eating nothing. theyre being born without mouths

what the fuck ever it's not like you guys have found the cup or the scepter yet either

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

Ignoring the racial dynamics at play in the summer house situation, diminishing the seriousness of the relationship as a "situationship" despite the fact both people said there were real, deep feelings, and side-stepping the fact that the aforementioned woman lied to her close friends face about it for months is a neat and tidy way to make this about slut-shaming rather than the betrayal of a friend that is at the root of the backlash.

gets on one of those giant lily pads and just serenely floats into the horizon never to be seen again

don't be mean to yourself that's you

you live there