je ne regrette rien.

𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒔: banner, icon & promo made by @emmacommissions

    ❝    i’m    afraid    i    don’t    have    any    beautiful    stories    to    tell    you.    ❞    he    confesses    at    last.    cerulean    hues    would    forever    stare    at    alec    with    warmth.    philippe    would    always    have    a    sort    of    understanding    and    patience    towards    the    other    that    no    one    else    could    ever    have    from    him.        ❝    i    became    a    designer    all    by    myself.    i    got    to    paris    seven    years    ago    with    a    slot    at    la    sorbonne    and    twenty    euros    in    my    pocket.    i    guess    you’re    right    when    you    say    i’m    strong.    but    i    didn’t    have    any    other    choice.    ❞    it    warmed    his    heart,    knowing    that    a    man    like    alec    admired    him.    not    in    the    way    he    constantly    starved    on,    not    for    power    or    influence.    but    because    his    affection    was    already    precious    to    him.        ❝    you’re    special,    alec    lightwood.    i    never    tell    anyone    such    thing.    but    you?    i    think    i    could    spill    my    heart    out    to    you    right    now,    and    i’d    even    thank    you    for    that.    ❞

    it    was    surreal    to    think    that    alex    mercer    even    knew    that    he    existed.    he    was    the    drummer    of    sunset    curve,    and    well-liked    by    almost    everyone    in    that    school.    philippe    wasn’t    that    much    of    a    loser    not    to    know    all    of    that,    and    not    so    stupid    not    to    have    been    caught    up    with    the    gossip    of    alex    being    into    boys.    he    once    dated    luke    who    was    also    in    the    band,    didn’t    he?    maybe    they    were    broken    up,    but    that    did    not    mean    the    frenchman    ever    thought    he    could    ever    have    a    chance.    ❝    are    you    for    real?    this    isn’t    𝒂    𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏    𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅    𝒐𝒇    𝒋𝒐𝒌𝒆   for    a    tiktok    prank,    is    it?    ❞    cerulean    hues    dared    to    make    eye    contact    at    last.    pencil    resting    against    the    notebook    as    philippe’s    face    lit    up    with    the    most    genuine    smile    one    could    imagine.    he    was    blushing,    so    much    he    could    feel    his    cheeks    burning    red    as    he    nodded    in    response.    ❝    i’d    love    to    go    on    a    date    with    you.    and    get    to    know    you    a    little    better.    i    mean,    don’t    think    i’m    a    loser    …    or    a    creep!    ❞    he    chuckled,    going    back    on    a    few    pages    on    his    sketch    book.    ❝    but    i    once    drew    your    band’s    logo    …    and    you    playing    the    drums.    because    i    think    you    look    really    handsome    when    you’re    doing    that.    i    mean,    i    can    see    how    passionate    you    are    about    music.    ❞

  a    timid    chuckle    escaped    through    the    blond’s    lips.    a    slight    shake    of    head    as    philippe    pondered    if    he    should    make    up    a    story    to    seem    cool    enough,    or    if    it’d    be    better    to    just    tell    alex    the    truth.    the    latter    seemed    to    be    the    most    reasonable    choice    and    won    over    the    other.    ❝    both    things    sound    really    cool.    amazing,    even.    ❞    there    was    a    light    shrug    as    he    attempted    to    focus    on    his    sketch    for    a    moment,    black    lead    nervously    scratching    against    the    paper    while    he    avoided    making    eye    contact.    philippe    knew    that    if    he    stared    at    alex    for    too,    he’d    awkwardly    blush    and    give    away    how    attractive    he    thought    he    was.    ❝    i’ve    never    been    on    a    date    before.    nor    have    i    ever    been    that    close    to    anybody    …    not    even    with        a    friend.    cool    boys    in    bands    are    the    ones    who    get    the    hot    boyfriends    and    the    cute    girls    like    clara    parker    to    hang    out    with.    i’m    just    an    artsy    nerd.    ❞

    ❝    yeah,    thanks.    i’m    glad    you    like    it.    it’s    only    a    sketch,    though.    ❞    philippe    had    always    found    it    difficult,    being    kind    towards    people    of    his    own    gender.    he    only    tended    to    be    nice    to    girls,    the    ones    he    found    the    prettiest,    mainly.    he    was    also    nice    to    models    who    worked    for    his    company,    because    he    knew    the    industry    treated    them    like    shit.    but    there    was    something    about    the    men    he    knew    to    be    more    attractive    than    him,    that    made    them    beyond    unlikeable    to    the    blond,    even    if    they    were    lovely    enough    to    compliment    his    art    work.    that’s    why    those    handsome    features    and    soft    voice    were    unable    to    unfreeze    that    cold    heart    his.    all    the    guy    got    was    a    smirk,    philippe    did    not    even    look    at    him    directly.    he    was    too    handsome.    that    was    annoying    as    fuck.    ❝    it’s    for    my    next    summer    collection.    ❞    he    shrugged,    as    the    tip    of    his    pencil    continued    to    scratch    against    the    thick    paper.    hopefully    that    conversation    would    die    down    before    it    even    started.    

❝    it’s    not    a    matter    of    being    fearless,    lu.    ❞    afterall,    fear    means    nothing    when    a    loved    one    is    endangered    the    way    luciana    was.    chasing    after    a    dream    was    one    thing,    and    being    naturally    talented    as    she    was,    philippe    would    always    do    everything    in    his    power    to    support    her.    another    thing    was    allowing    for    powerful    people    to    use    her    dream    against    her    and    crush    her    spirit.    ❝    but    do    you    even    see    what    they    are    doing    to    you?    𝒊    𝒉𝒂𝒅    𝒕𝒐    𝒔𝒂𝒚    𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈    𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕    𝒊𝒕.    it’s    2021.    how    come    they    dare    asking    of    an    actress    to    change    her    body    for    a    role?    acting    is    about    art,    is    about    being    gifted    …    and    you    are!    you    don’t    need    any    of    that.    ❞    one    artist    tells    the    other    while    gesticulating    and    walking    back    and    forth    in    that    room,    just    as    the    blond    always    did    whenever    he    was    upset.    ❝    what    do    you    say    we    launch    a    collection    together?    we    can    totally    do    this,    lu!    that    will    save    you    time    and    will    make    us    money    until    you    get    a    role    that    is    worthy    of    you.    ❞

                                         ❝    well,    you’re    not    wrong,    alexander.    maybe    i    could.    but    the    thing    is,    nothing    i    could    ever    conquer    on    my    own    would    be    worth    it    without    you    in    my    life.    ❞    a    brilliant    and    selfish    artist    only    ever    cared    about    personal    achievements,    glory,    money    and    fame.    how    worthless    all    of    that    seemed    after    he    got    to    experience    what    true    love    is.    he    was    ready    to    live    an    anonymous    life    in    new    york    city,    completely    aware    that    there    was    a    great    chance    his    career    would    die    in    france.    it    was    though.    𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒆    𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕    𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑    𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈    𝒂𝒏𝒅    𝒉𝒆    𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓    𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒕    𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒓    in    spite    of    being    exhausted    and    jet    lagged.    ❝    i    missed    your    smell    too.    and    your    warmth.    ❞    head    falls    against    alec’s    shoulder    the    moment    they    get    inside    the    taxi.    heartbeat    racing    as    if    on    their    first    date    as    cerulean    hues    gaze    sweetly    into    his    lover’s    eyes,    a    kind    of    softness    only    he    would    ever    get    from    philippe.    ❝    i    thought    about    you    in    my    arms    every    night    before    falling    asleep.    but    you    always    feel    more    dreamful    in    person.    ❞    a    hopeless    romantic    when    it    came    to    that    man,    that    side    of    the    artist    would    forever    be    the    same    in    alec’s    presence.    ❝    that’s    why    i’ll    be    glad    to    meet    your    family    tomorrow    ...    but    only    tomorrow,    mon    ange.    ❞

           a    competitive    creature    by    nature,    philippe    couldn’t    help    but    smirking    against    his    lover’s    lips    once    it    was    implied    that    there    could    be    a    sort    of    race    to    achieve    their    common    goal.    and    truth    be    said,    if    there    was    a    single    person    the    artist    wouldn’t    mind    losing    to    in    this    world,    this    person    was    alec.    ❝    you    are    the    love    of    my    life,    alexander.    and    the    only    one    who    can    𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚    𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌    𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓    𝒎𝒆    and    i’d    thank    you    for    it.    but    i’m    not    sure    i    can    allow    for    you    to    win    this    time    …    even    if    there’s    no    way    i    could    ever    be    losing    by    becoming    your    husband.    ❞    sweet    words    came    from    plump    lips    with    ease    once    cerulean    hues    were    before    ocean    blue    ones.    ❝    i    say,    let    the    best    man    win.    and    you    know,    mon    ange,    that    i    don’t    fight    fair.    ❞    there    was    a    playful    smirk    along    with    a    gentle    nip    to    his    boyfriend’s    handsome    cheekbone.    ❝    one    way    or    another,    you’re    mine,    though.    ❞

    a    family    of    his    own    had    never    been    a    dream    of    philippe    until    the    day    he    met    alec.    the    artist    used    to    be    quite    self-absorbed.    having    success,    money    and    fame    were    the    only    goals    he’d    ever    be    willing    to    achieve,    and    all    of    that    seemed    to    be    ridiculously    tiny    as    enamored    cerulean    hues    admired    how    graceful    was    a    white    cat    stretching    on    the    lap    of    the    love    of    his    life.    ❝    i    can’t    think    of    a    single    creature    who    wouldn’t    be    captivated    by    the    beauty    of    your    light,    alexander.    you    are    what    exists    of    most    magnificent.    ❞    he    whispers    to    his    boyfriend’s    ear,    placing    yet    another    lingering    kiss    to    his    jaw.    ❝    we    can    have    𝒂𝒔    𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚    𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔    𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒏    𝒂𝒔    𝒚𝒐𝒖    𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉.    we    have    an    eternity    for    that.    ❞    and    the    thought    of    raising    kids    of    their    own    did    not    sound    frightening    or    challenging,    not    while    he    had    alexander    by    his    side.    philippe    knew    he    could    be    his    best    whenever    they    were    together,    even    if    his    best    was    being    a    mediocre    father.    there    was    an    amused    sigh    as    céline    refused    to    make    room    for    him    to    sit    on    alec’s    lap.    ❝    of    all    things,    i    never    expected    i’d    have    to    share    your    attention    with    a    girl.    ❞    the    blond    laughs,    capturing    their    daughter    with    caring    hands    before    he    found    a    room    on    his    favorite    seat,    the    warmth    of    alexander’s    body.    ❝    my    day    was    boring    until    now.    but    i    created    a    piece    i    actually    think    is    good.    ❞    he    tells,    fingertips    scratching    céline’s    back    while    the    other    arm    wraps    itself    around    alec’s    neck.    ❝    new    york    isn’t    that    scary    if    i    get    to    𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆    𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆    𝒕𝒐    𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔    𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒔    every    evening.    ❞

                 one    heart    that    never    easily    softened    was    overflowing    with    endearment    the    moment    cerulean    hues    found    his    beloved    kitten    on    the    lap    of    the    man    that    he    loved.    truth    be    told,    philippe    detested    whenever    anyone    else    touched    his    céline,    and    he    felt    even    more    jealousy    and    hatred    whenever    any    other    creature    came    anywhere    near    his    boyfriend.    however,    noticing    that    the    only    two    creatures    that    he    loved    were    actually    fond    of    one    another    brought    a    sentiment    of    wholesomeness    and    joy    to    the    artist’s    soul.    ❝    i    apologize    on    behalf    of    céline.    𝒚𝒐𝒖    𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕    𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆    𝒉𝒆𝒓    for    wanting    your    attention,    though.    everything    about    you    is    so    …    inviting.    ❞    philippe    places    his    jacket    on    the    hanger    before    making    his    way    towards    where    alec    is    sitting.    genuine    smile    upon    angelic    features    as    he    leans    in,    one    kiss    to    plump    lips    as    hand    caresses    the    fur    ball    comfortably    laying    on    his    lap.    ❝    bonjour,    mon    ange.    hope    you    had    a    productive    day    until    our    daughter    interrupted    your    work.    ❞

    feeling    welcome    and    wanted    were    sensations    unknown    to    philippe.    before    meeting    kai,    all    he    was    constantly    gifted    with    was    the    pesky    feeling    that    his    presence    was    only    required    for    as    long    as    it    was    extremely    necessary.    ❝    are    you    sure    about    that?    ❞    eyebrow    arches    while    arms    are    crossed    right    around    his    chest.    all    he    wanted    to    say    was    that    he’d    love    to    spend    the    night.    why    did    he    have    to    ruin    every    beautiful    moment    that    they    had?    ❝    i    mean,    i    want    to    stay    …    𝒊    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕    𝒕𝒐    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚    𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉    𝒚𝒐𝒖.   i    just    don’t    want    to    let    you    get    sick    of    me,    kai.    ❞    french    accent    becomes    stronger    whenever    he’s    nervous.    philippe    only    wished    he    did    not    sound    that    stupid.

    everything    philippe    wants,    he    gets.    always    the    boy    from    a    small    town    with    the    greatest    ambitions,    never    had    the    artist    possessed    a    dream    as    grand    as    making    alexander    lightwood    his    husband.    working    on    his    own    talent    and    abilities    day    by    day    was    something    that    depended    on    his    efforts    only.    conquering    a    heart    of    gold    as    alec’s    had    to    count    with    a    blessing    from    god    himself,    a    kind    of    grace    philippe    wasn’t    entirely    sure    he    deserved.    yet    considering    his    lover’s    response    and    𝒕𝒉𝒆    𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈    𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒆   on    handsome    features,    a    wedding    was    soon    to    unite    their    lives    definitively.    ❝    what    a    valious    piece    of    information,    mon    ange.    some    important    event    might    take    place    now    that    i    have    it    in    my    hands.    i    shall    work    with    that.    ❞    the    blond    smirks,    hand    placed    to    alexander’s    cheekbone    before    a    loving    kiss    was    bestowed    upon    his    lips.