It's way safer up here

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N:  Thank you so much for reading everyone! I really had a blast writing this - and it was supposed to be just a self-indulgent thing for myself, but I’m glad someone else could enjoy it. Final reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account and my actual writeblr is @beanenigma. Also, I might post some other warnette stories in the universe of this fanfic, so keep an eye on my AO3 account! Bye-bye for now! 

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

AARON

Our front yard has never looked so busy. Not that there are that many people here. Today is family only. 

In a very sunny evening, everyone is sitting around the tables Connor and I put together from old wood and barrels. We had even gone to extremes of hanging up colorful little paper flags Ella and Pyp made. I don’t have a lot of experience with parties, but this is all very festive. 

Pyp is showing her Unky around, pulling him by the hand, making sure everyone knows it’s his birthday - despite them having come all this way especially for the occasion. She made him a paper crown to make sure no one could miss him in the small crowd.

Connor is showing up his speed by running next to some cans to make them fall. Kenji and Nazeera seem pretty impressed - or at least, they’re pretending very well. 

I barely notice Kent until he pops a can next to me. I turn to him, accepting his offer. These are not my preferred beverages, but I could make an effort in the name of brotherhood. 

“Thanks for the party, man”, he says, leaning against the porch next to me. 

“I’m just the muscle behind the operation. It was all Connor’s idea.”

“So I’ve heard”, we both smile when Connor takes a bow after dropping one more tower of cans. Everyone around claps. In that moment, I can almost feel the invisible bond the two of us share. Despite it being the ghost of a man none of us wanted to remember… It could be something else. “You have something really precious here.” 

I nod. “I know.”

“I hope I can have something half this nice one day.”

“Well, it’s not as easy as I make it seem.” I try to make a joke. I’m unable to tell if I failed or not. 

He hardly registers my comment, taking a big gulp. His eyes are one his wife, who has Pyp in her arms. My daughter is presenting her uncle to her (even though he is her brother-in-law and they live in the same house). 

“We’re expecting”, he confesses, lowering his voice like he’s telling me war secrets. I blink, surprised, though I’m not sure why. 

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you”, Kent says, but it sounds like a mere reflex. 

We both sip on our cans. I frown at the taste and decide to not do it anymore. I feel like he’s waiting for me to say something. So I tell him what I wish someone had told me when we first got to this house, alone and afraid. 

“I’m going to save you some time and tell you that you are not our father. And neither am I.” Despite my hunch, he is surprised that I said something. Or, rather, he is surprised by what I said. His shoulders tense up, but his eyes remain on me, rigid. I look at Connor, who’s asking for help to put his cans back in position. “You’ll be afraid, sure. It’s terrifying. Every day. When will I go back to my old instincts? How long until I become just like him? But that’s not all. You’ll be scared for her, and you’ll be scared for the baby. Labor beats any battle I’ve been in. And if you think that’s terrible, wait until you get the little thing in your hands and it needs you for everything…”

My eyes travel to Pyp, who transports to the table when Ella tells her she can’t have cake yet. I watch with a smile as Ella tries to save the cake and Sonya tries to stop the toddler to stomp on the rest of the food, while Ian laughs at the whole scene.

“You’ll learn to be scared of things you never imagined. Water, furniture corners, electric plugs. You’ll be so scared of making afraid. But at the end of the day… Children need love. They don’t need a specific kind of parent. They need their parent.”

Adam seems shook. I touch his shoulder, allowing myself to smile at him. 

“Also, good luck making kids as cute as mine.”

I see a glint of fun in his eyes as I walk away. 

When the last car disappears in the horizon, Pyp is already fast asleep in my arms. Finding out she had a second Unky and soon a cousin was too much for her. I give her to Ella so she can take her to bed. Connor helps me clean up. He does most of the work with the plates, cups and cutlery - despite me telling him not to run with breakables and/or knives. He doesn’t listen to me, as per usual. I take down the tables, but leave the colorful flags. There’s nothing wrong with keeping the colors up a little longer. 

When we are done, I take Connor upstairs. He’s saying he’s not tired mid-yawn. I set up a shower for him and he tells me he can do it by himself. I wait out in the hallway. Ella closes the door to Pyp’s room. 

“She was so tired she didn’t even ask to sleep with us…” Ella wraps her arms around my waist. I hug her shoulders, touching my chin to the top of her head. 

“She did have a lot of fun.” 

“That she did”, Ella nods, closing her own eyes. “I’m glad we did this.” 

“Me too.”

She raises her face to me and smiles. I can’t help but smile back. I kiss her briefly and her eyes flutter closed. She lets out a satisfied sigh. 

“You know what this whole thing made me realise?” 

“Hm?” 

“I don’t want to go back. Not really. We can keep in touch and visit and they can come a any time… But I would never give up what we built here.” 

I nod. 

“Me either, love.” I touch her face, smiling. “I love you. I love you every day and every night. And even a day without you and the kids was torture.” 

Ella holds my hand and kisses my palm. 

“Let me make it up to you?” 

I look back at the bathroom door.

“If I throw some toys at him, he’ll be entertained for a couple of hours.”

Ella laughs and shakes her head, opening the doors and rushing Connor to finish up. I watch from the door was she wraps him up in a towel and carries him to his room. He’s barely awake when she puts him in pajamas, but he still asks us to hang around a little longer. 

I tuck him in and kiss his forehead. Ella kisses it too. Connor smiles at her and at me and yawns, closing his eyes. Safe. Warm. Secure. Loved. All I’d always dream to be as a child. He falls asleep, knowing he’ll wake up tomorrow and have another bright day. 

I take Ella’s hand. She smiles at me and we stand up carefully. We leave Connor’s bedside lamp on just in case he needs it. But he doesn’t. He knows where to find us. 

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account and my actual writeblr is @beanenigma

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

Pyp doesn’t wake up when I lay her down in the back of the Humvee. She seems so small in the wide space of the car… I give her a light kiss on her forehead, before getting down. I almost trip on Connor, who immediately grabs on to me. I hug him and kiss the top of his head too. 

He has been handling well everything from last night. He’s scared - but also proud, I believe. In a way. He won’t let me know. We stay like this for a couple of minutes until Kenji finally shows up. 

“I thought you weren’t coming.” 

“As if.” He shakes his head and ruffles Connor’s hair. Connor pushes his hands, fixing his own hair, but smiles slightly. “Are you sure you want to leave this early? You should say good-bye to everyone.” 

“No need. We’ll see them again soon.” Connor smiles in expectation, looking from me to Kenji. He mirrors my son, though hesitantly, not sure if he could dare to hope. “Tell everyone to come over. We’ll have James’ party at my place.” 

Kenji winces before his smile spreads. 

“For real?”

“For real.” I nod. It had been Connor’s idea (and he seems pretty proud of it). “We can’t just come back. We built a life, we have a house, we have jobs. I don’t think we can come back to working for someone. But… I’m also done hiding. It can’t be over if we don’t start doing things different.” 

To my surprise, Kenji hugs me. I hug him back, remembering that last time I was leaving, it was I who had to steal me a hug. I smile at him as we break apart. Connor also hugs Kenji, and he lifts the boy in his arms, squeezing him as he squeals. 

“I’ll see you soon,” I say, as I take my son’s hand and we start walking back to the Humvee. Kenji waves.

“I’ll see you soon.” 

He waves until he disappears in my rearview mirror. 

But this time it feels different. 

When Pyp wakes up, she just asks for her breakfast. Connor and I exchange looks, waiting for her to meltdown and transport back to camp, but she just eats the nuts I give her in a ziplock and hums softly, still half asleep. So we dodged that bullet, at least for now. 

After a while, she climbed to Connor’s seat, laying her head against his shoulder and falling back asleep. He smiled and hugged his sister, cuddling her head in his lap. She curled up like a puppy. I wish I could have a picture of this moment. I would carry it with me at all times, tattoo it inside my eyelids so see it every time I blinked, I’d fly it across the skies so all could see. But it’s fine. I won’t forget it. 

Hours later, we start seeing our crops and as we come closer, the house in the horizon. I almost brake the car when Pyp lets out a screech. She vanishes a second later. I stop the car, panicking, but Connor pokes at my shoulder and points. Close to the house, the dogs are barking and running around Aaron. Pyp is in his arms and he is filling her small face with kisses. I smile, putting a hand over my chest to calm my heart. 

Connor opens his door and flashes to his dad’s side. Aaron drops to his knees and pulls our boy closer, pressing their foreheads together. 

Turning off the Humvee right there in the middle of the road, I get down too. Smiling as my whole world comes together. All cracks are sealed, the sun is shining again, the birds are singing. There’s this feeling too. This warm, fulfilling thing. It’s back, but it’s not the same. There is a kind of weight tying me to what I left behind. It was nothing like a burden. It was a reminder. My world was bigger than I first thought. 

Walking slowly towards him, I open my arms. He leaves the kids on the ground when he sees me and runs to me, lifting me by the waist and spinning me around. I cling to his neck, taking in his scent. I do my best to project how much I love him, how much I’ve missed him, how relieved I am that we’re all together again. Our family. The one we’ve built from nothing. 

“Did you enjoy your alone time?”

“Maybe one or two minutes”, he plays, shaking his head from side to side. 

“Good. Because we’re expecting company.”

One of his eyebrows raises. His eyes go down to my stomach. It takes me a second to see what he’s thinking. I shake my head and laugh, pushing him weakly. 

“Not that kind! We’re throwing a party!”

Aaron seems terrified. I bet he is much more inclined to having a new child - which is one of the scariest things one can do. Before he can worry too much, however, I kiss him. The party can wait. 

Everything can wait. 

“Mom! Pyp keeps poofing!”

Except for that. 

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account and my actual writeblr is @beanenigma

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

“You sure have a lot of friends, mom.” Connor says as I wrap him up in a towel after the shower. Pyp is already asleep in the other room, exhausted from all the excitement of finally getting taken flying. “Winston and Ian and Adam, and Alia and Sonia and Sara…”

He names, like a list that he memorized, as I put him in adult pajamas and start to roll up his sleeves. I smile. I’m glad he likes my friends. I help him dry his hair.

“It’s not what I thought soldiers would be like.”

I sigh, hoping I could unsay all the things I had to tell him during the trip. I kneel in front of him. 

“Life is not all black and white, baby.” When he’s fully dressed I sit him at the closed toilet, brushing his hair. “They’re great people forced into terrible things. Just like me and your dad.” 

Connor nods, thinking. 

“Did you meet dad at the same time you met them?” 

I fight the urge to say “one of the times”. I take his hand and pull him back into the main room. My old tent is exactly how we left it, down to the stuff we chose to leave behind. I take Connor with me to the living area, turning the lamp on, making sure it’s pointing away from Pyp. 

The pictures Nazeera gave me were inside an envelope in my pocket. I take them off and smile. I show Connor the picture of me and his dad, barely older than his sister, at the bottom of the stairs on the very house we live today. 

“You see, Connor… Your dad and I… We met a long time ago. When hope was low and fear was high… A group of people decided they could profit from the state of things. They called themselves the Restablishment...” 

JAMES

Adam is getting ready for work. Alia, in pajamas, makes him a cup of coffee. She gives him a kiss on the cheek. I notice he stiffens a bit and Alia does too. She starts to pull away, but he pulls her closer again, giving her a fragile smile and kissing her forehead. I avert my eyes. It has been like this for a while. 

Alia wishes us good night softly as she goes to bed. Adam sits down next to me on the couch to drink his coffee. His eyes follow Alia until the door of the room closes. He sets his drink aside, looking at me. 

“Did she tell you?” He asks, totally unprompted. 

I have no idea what he’s talking about. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Adam tenses up, looking back at the closed door of the room. “Dude, what?” 

“It’s not funny, James. If that was your idea of a lesson, it didn’t work.” 

“A lesson? Are you feeling alright?” 

He breathes out, shaking his head. 

“Alia is pregnant.” He confesses in a low voice, taking a sip of his coffee. I fight my shock. “But you already know that. Right?” 

“No! Adam, that’s great! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Because I’m freaking out, dude.” His hands go through his hair. By the shape it’s taking, it seems like he’s been doing it a lot. “I don’t know how to be a dad. And I wasn’t planning to. At least not now.”

He lost me. I’m super confused. 

“What do you mean you don’t know how to be a dad? What does that make me, then? Did I happen to raise myself?” 

“James…”

“Adam. You’re being stupid. Why not now? Nothing has happened here in so long… And we have a house and food and jobs... “ 

“Yeah, but for how long? How long until the running starts again? Before we have to pack up and leave everything behind? How long until everything burns down and we have to rebuild? How long until we’re using our powers every day again?” 

I squeeze his shoulder. This is the most I’ve seen him speak in… Boy, in years. I just wish it wasn’t complete nonsense. 

“Never. It’s over.” I say, slowly, hoping to get through his thick skull. “You sound just like Juliette and Warner. You know where that took them? They live in the middle of nowhere, all alone and are terrified of their own friends. Their kids don’t even know the full extent of their powers. Is that what you want?” 

His face is rigid. There’s a crease between his brows. 

“So I was right. You brought her here to give me a lesson.”

“No, you dumb ass. I didn’t even bring her here. Pyp showed up here by accident.” I shake my head, resting my feet on the coffee table. I take a deep breath. “But I’m glad she did came. Because you were useless in getting our brother to talk to us. Maybe now we might… I don’t know. Also, you saw it yourself. They’re doing it. And they’ve been doing a long time. Warner is doing it. You should see how those kids look at him. They love him so much… And he loves them.” 

He doesn’t answer. He takes another sip of his coffee, but I doubt he can even taste it. I ruffle his hair like he used to do to mine when I was a kid. 

“Listen, Adam. You’re gonna be a great dad. You are.”

He nods and gives me a crooked smile. 

“I did do a goob job on you, didn’t I?

“Don’t get cocky. I’m also crazy smart. Now, go to work. I gotta get to bed.”

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account and my actual writeblr is @beanenigma

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

After I send the message, I go find the others at the dining hall.

James and Kenji got released for the day - though I assumed it was just so Castle got all the answers he wanted out of them, and not an act of kindness. Adam had seemed inclined to come, but he said he really needed to sleep. No one could argue.

When I walk into the dining hall, Connor is running forward and back. He peeks into every window he can find, and tries to climb any unsuspecting object that seems like can hold his weight. Even when I wave and hold on to his shoulder when he’s next to me he keeps jumping up and down in place.

“Mom, why did we never come here? This place is awesome!”, he says, for my despair. He doesn’t wait for an answer, but I feel eyes on me, waiting for this answer.

Now that I’m here, I know that my explanation will sound fragile. I always knew coming here would tempt me to forget, would lull me with friendship and old memories. It’s part of the reason I never allowed myself to come. But this was still a governamental installment - and where there was a government, there was danger. Where there were orders, there might be resistance. And my family already had given all they could to a new world.

Thankfully, the dining hall is still half empty after lunch. Connor tells me he already said hi to all of the kitchen workers and got us our plates. He takes me to the table where everyone else is.

“I love carrots!” He announces with fiery passion as he sits on the table, across from me and Nazeera, between Castle and Nouria. “I like your hair”, he says, a full mouth of carrots not able to stop him. “Can you do cool things too?”

“I can do lots of cool things.” Castle says, raising one of his eyebrows.

“Yeah, but like powers.” He turns to Nouria. “ What about you? You look like you do.”

“Do I?”, she asks, amused. Her father rolls his eyes, something I don’t think I ever seen him do.

“Yes. Maybe that’s another power I have. Mom! Do you think I have two powers?”

I shake my head, trying to keep an eye on Pyp so she won’t make an even bigger mess of her plate. My opinion doesn’t stop Connor, who puts both hands on his forehead and squints at Kenji.

“You can turn invisible.”

Kenji laughs.

“Really powerful stuff, kiddo.”

Connor then turns to James.

“Your power is really lame…”

James shakes his head but doesn’t comment, the rest of the table laughs. Pyp screeches, extending her fat baby hands to her brother.

“Do me! Do me!”

Connor looks at his sister with a devilish grin.

“Your can make… Really smelly poop!”

“No, Con-con!” She giggles, holding on to the table and jumping on her seat. “You got it wrong!”

“Ah.” He pretends to be disappointed, which makes Pyp screech again, this time in delight. “I guess I don’t really have this power then.”

The kids banter on, but my brain is used to it and start to zone out. When I come back, Nazeera is waiting for an answer.

“Hm?” I say, with no idea how long ago she started talking to me.

“I said it’s kind of surreal.” She points at Connor, who is still making a speech about powers. “Seeing you do this. Even with how much they look like you guys.”

I blink twice at her, before smiling like a proud dork.

“You can say that again. Sometimes it’s hard to really comprehend this is my life.”

“They really look like you. Specially when you guys were kids. I still have those pictures somewhere.” There sounds like there’s something behind what she’s saying but I can’t quite place it. A proposition, of sorts. I can’t fall for it. My child pictures are also Emmaline’s child pictures. The perfect child she had been, before despicable people had done unspeakable things to her. Before she had paid dearly for no sustaining our parents expectations.

I make sure none of the kids are paying attention before I answer her.

“They don’t know. About me. Us. Restablishment and everything. Connor knows some things now… But not about where we’re from.” I say slowly. It pains me to think how in the dark they are and how much there was they didn’t know. “I only told them about Emmaline. Just… You know, that she existed.”

“Huh,” Nazeera says, tapping her caramel fingers on the table, her perfect brows furrowing. “Do they know we used to be friends?”

“No. Probably not.” She contemplates the matter, watching as Connor stuffs his mouth with carrots. I stretch across the table to give him a napkin. “I know, I know, I should tell them. I already got the talk from Kenji.”

Nazeera almost spits out what she is drinking, trying to hold back a laugh.

“You got the talk from Kenji? Oh my, things must be really shit for you to be taking advice from Kishimoto.”

I squint at her.

“Aren’t you two together, though? He did call you his girlfriend.”

She smiles ironically and shrugs.

“We both know who’s the brains of our little operation. I have no illusions towards that man I chose.” To my surprise, her hand touches my arm slightly. “I, for one, understand why you did it. And I don’t think you need to rush into anything. I mean, what is he? Five? It’s not like it was easy for us to wrap our minds around it, let alone a little kid”

I nod. That’s exactly my point! When I look at Connor, he is looking at me. He smiles. I smile back. He squeezes his drink out of the gap between his front teeth right onto the table.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account and my actual writeblr is @beanenigma

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

AARON

I wake up to the sound of the radio. I had fallen asleep against the tractor soon after I got the news Connor was with Ella. I hadn’t meant to, but after all of the tension, my body gave out once it relaxed. I wasn’t as used to being stressed as I once was. My father would have a thing or two to say on the matter. The mere fact I was thinking about it showed me things weren’t great in my head.

“W? It’s J. Come in. Over.”

I hear Ella call and shake my head to wake myself. I clear my throat before picking up the speaker and pressing the button.

“This is W. Over”, I manage to say before a yawn.

“What? No codes this time?”, she jokes, and I can feel she’s in a much better mood than before. I brace myself for good news. Her tone changes accordingly. “She’s here, love. She’s here. I found her. Over.”

Relief washes over me. My body relaxes, my jaw unclenches, my lungs breathe heaps of fresh air.

“Ah, thank goodness love. Is she alright? Is she hurt? Over.”

“No. No, she’s fine. She’s alright. But, uh… She’s unnatural now. So that’s something… We were right, her powers are showing. I’ll tell you when I see you, alright? Over. ” I nod. It’s best not to discuss such things over radio. You never know when people can be listening in. However, something in her voice sounds tired. One could think it’s due to driving all night. But I know her better. I don’t even have to ask. We tell each other everything. “C showed himself. Over.”

I shake my head, closing my eyes. This is why he should have stayed home all along. I knew that, once he was out there, in the world, he wouldn’t let himself be contained anymore. It’s not that I didn’t want him to get to know such world… I just didn’t want it to be so soon. I sigh before getting the nerve to speak.

“We always knew we couldn’t hide them forever. Over.”

“Tell me about it. I just wish it was in our terms… Either way, I’m having trouble getting Pyp to collaborate and come back… Connor is also… Very excited. I’m going to try and wait until they’re tired to get them in the car. I’ll be back in the morning at the latest.”

How pathetic was it that the perspective of a whole day without my wife and children filled my stomach with dread? Still, I can’t let myself be taken by

“You shouldn’t drive these roads at night, love. You know that. Last night was an extraordinary circumstance. It’s better to wait until the early morning. They’ll be asleep and won’t fight and you’ll be safer. Over.”

“You think? They did say I can stay over… Over.”

I nod, even though she can’t see me.

“Do what you have to do. I’ll hold down the fort. Over.”

“I love you. Over.” I smile like a stupid teenager.

“I love you too. Tell Pyp I miss her. Over and out.”

I turn off the radio, letting a breath out. There is much to be done today - as there is every day. As I look forward, I can’t help but feel a clench around my heart. I stand up, looking up at the tractor I’d slept leaning against. I nod to myself and grab a hat.

I’ll still be here tomorrow. I’ll be waiting for my wife to return. I’ll have the house ready to receive my kids. I might have been a log adrift once, but now my roots were going to hold strong.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: As always, reminder that I only post Multiply Me in this account. If you’d like to see what else I can do - or just chat - I’m over at @beanenigma

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

All disappears. The sun burns out, the earth breaks in half, even time collapses on itself. Everything that exists is me and my baby. Is Pyp’s tiny hands around my neck, is her lovely golden locks, is her plumpy small body in my arms. I hold on to her as she giggles and rubs her nose against my neck, like she does since she was a newborn.

Voices break the enchantment.

“Can I know what you three were doing with… A Child?” Castle inquires.

When I open my eyes, the three of them are inching closer like children who were caught stealing cookies. James is mortified and Kenji is ready to blink out of existence. Nazeera is not phased. She’s looking at me with surprising softness. She’s looking at me softly. I suddenly feel very aware of where I am.

“Pyp poofed to me”, James says, eyes meeting mine. “We were trying to get her back home.”

“With who’s authorization were you going to leave?”

“Nouria’s, if we were lucky.” Nazeera says simply. Kenji and James exchange looks. Castle catches them.

“How long has she been here?”

No one wants to be the one to say almost two days. A slow, warm feeling spreads in my chest. Castle and Nouria didn’t know. They were still trying to hide my secret.

“Don’t worry, Castle. No harm was done.” I wiggle Pyp in place and she smiles at me. She looks around and gives the new people a wave. Castle seems instantly less sure of wanting to punish the others. This child is just too charming for her own good. “Well, I have what I came for. I should be on my way now.”

I can practically fell a cloud of discontentment hovering around me, coming from all sides, like a wave. I shrink myself slightly, wishing I could just hang around. Just a little longer, perhaps.

“Come on, Ella. You just got here…” Nazeera said, crossing her arms. The gesture feels more vulnerable than she probably meant it to. “What’s the rush?”

The rush is seven and alone in the car. “I’m sorry, guys. I wish I could stay…” I mean it. I wish I could stay and see all the others and know what happened all this time and maybe earn their trust again. Why their faces look older and tired, if they too had children, if they found the peace and happiness we all fought for.

“But you’ll be back for the party, won’t you?”

Everyone's surprised to hear Adam’s voice. He is leaning against the door, half asleep, but his eyes are set on me. I can’t help but remember the boy he was, the unresting kindness that made me love him when I was young.

“Sure”, I nod before I can stop myself.

“You will?” James asks, surprised, beaming. I look at him, feeling warm at the sight of his excitement.

“Yeah. I guess that’d be okay.”

I manage to say. I shoot a look back to the Humvee, trying to communicate that Connor is also here, that I have to go. He nods imperceptibly, though I’m not sure he fully understands.

“Alright, Pyp, time to say bye-bye.”

The second bye leaves my lips, Pyp vanishes from my arm. I’m standing, dumbfounded, arms still where my daughter was a second ago. I’d just seen her do it, of course, but I still hadn’t processed the whole thing. Pyp had powers. Newly born powers that would send me and Aaron back to those terrible first days with super speed.

Pyp reappears in the ground, between James and Kenji, grabbing both of their pant’s legs.

“No bye-bye!” She stomps her bare feet in the grass.

“That’s quite enough of that, Olympia.” I put my arms in my waist. She flinches.

“But unky…”, Pyp whines. “And fly lady!”

“We have to go home to your dad.” I take a step closer to pick her up, but she poofs again, next to Nazeera. I try again, faster this time, but she keeps poofing. I can see this is going to be a nightmare to put limits on. When she poofs the third time, something catches her as soon as she resurfaces.

“I got her!” Connor announces with a triumphant smile. He winces when he see he’s surrounded and all looks are at him. He looks at me terrified, remembering what I told him when he sees my . “Sorry. I thought you were gonna lose her again.”

Pyp clapped her hands.

“Con-con!”, she celebrates. “Dad here?”

“Ah, no. Sorry, Pyp.”

My head feels like it’s about to explode. I take a deep breath, trying not to panic. My babies, my new life, fully out to my old life, at their will. People I had seen go to battle, stand by me, carrying bodies, locking doors so we wouldn’t get hit by bullets, and

“Hey, little dude”, Kenji says, breaking me out of my train of thought. He puts his hand up and Connor smiles before slamming his own hand against it. “What do you think of the place?”

“Boring. You have a small house.”

“Connor!”, I reprimand, because I don’t know what else to do.

“Is anyone going to explain what is happening here?” Castle asks, his brows furrowed. “I apologize, miss Sommers, but won’t you stay a little longer and clean this whole mess up?”

“When don’t I clean your stuff up, Castle?” I ask, letting out a sigh, fully defeated. All of my plans had been foiled, might as well move with the flow. “Mrs. Sommers.” I correct for the last time, petting Connor in the head and picking up Pyp again.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Sorry I took so long, uni just started and I wanted to make sure I had some chapters lined up and ready to post. But now we’re back on track!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

Night shifts are always terrible. The pay makes it worth it - especially now - and a much welcomed distraction - especially now. But that means mornings are torture. And I quickly learn that people have a tendency of worsening it. Knocking doors, for example. 

I wait for James or Alia to open the door. I quickly realize I’m alone at home. They’re probably already at work. I open my eyes, checking the clock next to the bed. I groan. Two hours of sleep. Forcing myself upward, I struggle to the door, I involuntarily fix my posture and clear my throat. 

“Castle? It’s early.”

As he apologizes, my eyes wander behind him. Nouria? Why is she here? A cold feeling climbs up my spine. Was anyone hurt? Was there trouble? Was it James? Alia? But before I can bring myself to start paying attention to what Castle was saying, I see her. I rub my eyes to make sure I’m awake. 

“Juliette?”, I ask in complete confusion. She regards me with a fond smile. I suddenly feel out of balance. “I mean, Ella. Hi.”

“Hey, Adam. Long time, no see.”

“Yeah. That is what normally happens when you move away.” 

“So I’ve heard.” 

I shake my head, trying to get a little bit of clarity. 

“Sorry. It’s been a long night.”

Her eyes lose the amused look. She seems… Worried. 

“I’m really sorry to bother you. Is James here?” 

“Hm, no. No. He’s probably at work already. Did he convince you to come to the party?” 

Ella hesitate. It’s when I notice I don’t see Warner around anywhere. So that probably means she’s not staying. She crosses her arms, like she used to do to avoid touching people. She’s nervous. 

“Where does he work? I need his help.”

“At… The hospital. Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt?”

“I sure hope not.” Ella says and it’s the most honest thing she’s said since I opened the door. “I think he might have something I need back.” 

“Something?I don’t remember him bringing anything. You can… You can look around if you want.”

“I don’t think he’d leave it here.”

“What is it? I can look for it… He doesn’t take anything to the hospital.” 

“It’s… Uh…” 

“Mommy!” I’m not sure if I’ve fallen asleep for a second or if I’m having sleep-deprivation induced stroke, but I’m sure I heard a child. I see Ella’s face shift to utter relief and the four of us look toward the side. My eyes find James first, trying to steer Nazeera back into Kenji’s tent. Kenji peeks out and I know him enough to know he’s just cursed. Something in Nazeera’s arms moves, but vanishes before I can place it. 

And a blonde child materializes in Ella’s arms. 

Ah. So it is a nightmare.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about. 

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

I’m not sure where to go, where to park. I end up directing myself to the open field next to the tents. It’s what I know best, where I used to live. When I stop the Humee, I see Connor peeking out. I ruffle his hair. 

“What’s the white things, mom?”

“Houses.”

Connor huffs. 

“Those can’t be houses. They’re so small!”

I can’t help but smile. Connor’s world is big houses, growing fields and deep woods. He’d never seen how the rest of sector 45 used to live. How I used to live. He’s never seen hunger, pain or cold. He doesn’t know how wonderful it was to have something so small and yet, so perfectly ready to receive us. So ours. 

“Me and your dad were living here when I got pregnant of you.”

He hums, taking in the information. 

“Which one?” 

I squint at the lines that unfold in front of us, trying to remember. 

“Fourth one to the left…” I hesitate, staring at the two lines of tents in front of us. “I’m almost sure.”

“You don’t remember where you used to live?”

Once, forgetting would have been a blessing. My crimes, my suffering, my . Eventually, I found that forgetting was a curse. My family, my powers, my love. Now, it was just a surprise. 

“I lived so many places, love”. 

I finally say. He frowns, but doesn’t push on. 

I notice a pair walking over to where we are. I don’t need to look much further to recognize the dreadlocks and dark skin. I usher Connor back to the space under the panel. 

“Stay here. Don’t make a sound. And don’t let anyone see you. I mean it, Connor.” 

He murmured something before I closed the door. 

“Miss Sommers,” Castle says, a confused smile spreading over his face. “What a surprise.”

“It’s Mrs. Sommers now.”I say, smiling back. I didn’t think it possible, but seeing them again makes my heart tighten. The weight of the years is starting to show on Castle’s face. That pushes him more toward a strict but loving grandpa, instead of the public nuisance he used to be. It gives me a fond sort of amusement. “Hello, Castle. You look well.”

“Don’t be snarky with me, girl.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” When I look at Nouria, her dark eyes already scrutinizing me. If she’s looking for weapons or trying to reconcile the nervous pregnant teen who came to beg for secrecy with who I am now, I’m not sure. Maybe both. “Nouria. Thank you for allowing me passage.”

“Of course,” she nods, being brought back into the present. “I did say you’ll always be welcome here.”

“I know. Old habits die hard.” 

“And what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” I see him look behind me, probably looking for Aaron. 

“I need to see James. He has something of mine. I need it back.”

They exchange looks, clearly more confused by the minute. Castle nods and signals me forward.

“I’ll take you to the boys’ tent.”

I struggle not to look back at Connor, still hidden inside the humvee. I have to trust he’ll do what I tell him for once in his life. It’s a lot to expect from him, I know. But miracles can happen. 

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Sorry I took so long, uni just started and I wanted to make sure I had some chapters lined up and ready to post. But now we’re back on track! 

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

KENJI

Even with all of Nazeera’s attempts to convince Pyp they couldn’t go flying, Pyp refused to believe it. She kept Nazeera’s hand between her small loaf like hands, determined not to have the flying lady out of her sight. Nazeera’s expression varied from exasperation to slight fondness. James, however, is pouting for being utterly and completely forgotten, but trying not to show it to the flabbergasted four-year-old who wouldn’t care anyway.

“Alright”, said Nazeera after Pyp promised to calm down for the third time. “Let’s say I’ll help you with you guys’ stupid plan. Hypothetically. What would you have me do?”

James and I think, exchanging looks.

“Do you think Nouria would grant you an administrative vehicle?” James asks, fiddling with this thumbs.

“Maybe. If I had a good reason.”

“What would a good reason be?”, I shoot back, the idea of a forged attack still on my mind. It had been a while since we got the old blood pumping. Even working as security, not much happened anymore.

“Doesn’t have to be big trouble. They trust me, so if I say I’m suspicious…”

“But we can’t go”, James interrupts, scratching his chin like he’s trying to get to his brain if he just scratches hard enough. The slightest plummage is starting to grow. I wonder if the kid got any sleep at all. “If we don’t show up to work today, they’ll come for us and put two and two together. That something happened at Juliette’s.”

“So what? No one has the coordinates”, I shrug. It’s good to be the only one.

“Sure. But could you lie to Castle if he asked you straight on why you delayed more than you said you would?”

My silence is all the answer he needs.

“Nazeera, however, has no reason to go see Juliette.”

“Ella was my childhood best-friend, you know?”, she says, eyebrows raising.

“But you don’t know where she is.” James snaps his fingers. She doesn’t appreciate it. He recoils back. “I’m just saying you’re our best bet. Can you do it?”

She thinks. Her eyes wander to Pyp, who is staring at James confused. Seeing everyone is silent, she raises her hand to speak. Nazeera looks around confused and nods at the child.

“Who is Juliette?”, Pyp asks, her big blue eyes blinking at us. Now I know Nazeera is too far gone. She just can’t help it. Kid is just too good. She sighs.

“I’ll do it.”

“Great. It is great, ‘cause I have to get to work.” James stands up, looking at me. “And you do too.”

“What? You’ll just leave me with her?” I have to smile at the slight panic in her voice.

“Relax. Pyp is the best. She’s no trouble at all.” James is lying. James is lying big time. “And it’s only until tonight. Tomorrow you’ll go to work in the morning and ask for the car. We’ll wait with Pyp here and hand her to you once you got it.”

“And then you’ll give me the location?” When I turn to her, Nazeera’s eyes are sharp. I fight the urge to scrunch up into a little ball. It’s not like I’m eager to do so. These stupid numbers are the only thing I have left of the days we had, of the family we used to be. Before leader children, before secret experiments… Back at Omega Point, when we were just a bunch of nobodies hiding underground.

But then again, things have changed. Pyp is just living proof. Things have changed and I should too.

“I will.” I nod slowly. Her stare grows softer. I think she hears how I’m struggling to keep my voice from cracking.

“Then it’s decided.” James extends his hand to the middle of the room. “Operation Stork is ago!”

Nazeera looks at his hand and then at me. I’m halfway to putting my hand in the pile. She lets out a disappointed sigh and picks Pyp up in her arms. Anticipating flying shenanigans, Pyp screeches in delight. She walks out of the tent and leaves us hanging.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: Sadly, this fic is coming to it’s end. My outline goes to around 35 chapters (give or take) and the arc I had anticipated is almost over. HOWEVER, I’ve been really excited writing all the flashbacks in this fic, but they’re getting pretty lenghty. 

So I’ve been thinking of making a fic following directly what happened after Ella and Aaron left camp to live on their own. Let me know if you’d guys would read it and if so I might start posting it when this one is over. 

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

“Wow!” Connor says, pressing his face against the humvee window. It’s hard to see because the glass is too thick, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. He takes out his safety belt, dragging himself over the panel and presses his forehead against the windshield.

The shining rocks surrounding Nouria’s camp stand before us, just as impressive as they were the first time I saw them. They have been moved, expanded, been carved, but still serve the same purpose. We couldn’t see what was beyond them until we, ourselves, were beyond them. I smile at Connor’s excitement. I stop close to the nearest rock, knowing we would already have called for attention.

“Listen, Connor. I need you to stay down.” I say, tapping my fingers on the wheel. I had been pushing back the anxiety of being here, but now it was real. I was really back here. My son looks at me, not being able to hide his frustration.

“What? Why?”

“People here… They don’t know about you and Pyp. And I want to keep it that way.”

“But… But! Not fair! Pyp is probably already here! They already know!”

“Connor.” I look at him in all seriousness. He immediately drops the attitude. “It’s important. Stay down.”

“Ugh, fine.” Connor drags himself down and under the panel, pulling his legs tight against his body. I make sure he can’t be seen from the outside and open the door. I put on my sunglasses, closing the door behind me, putting my hands on my pockets.

Two people seem to materialize out of thin air. I give them a wave and they seem uncertain, exchanging looks. I walk to them, showing them my hands in a sign of peace.

“What is your business in this area?”

One of them asks. God, they’re young. I take a second to remember I should have been around the same age when I started planning revolution and taking out governments.

“My name is Ella Sommers. I’m requesting entrance.”

The other guard gags.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’re pardoned.” I put my hands in my pockets, shrugging. “I don’t intend to stay long. And I’m travelling alone. Tell Nouria if you have to. I just came to pick up something that belongs to me.”

The second guard was still having trouble containing his surprise. I furrow my brows. The first one, however, elbow him on the side.

“You’ll have to excuse him. He’s new. Please, proceed, Miss Sommers.”

“Mrs.”, I correct, climbing back to my car.

The guard experiences a second of pure panic. The second guard’s eyes glow in delight.

“Of course. My apologies. We’ll let the boss know you’re here.”

I would prefer you wouldn’t, I thought, starting the humvee. I look at Connor, who is peeking at me from under the panel. It’s already been a pretty stressful day without reencounters.

“Mom?” Connor says, crossing his arms over the seat and laying his head on it.

“Yes, baby?”

He smiles wide.

“This was the coolest.”

And I guess it really was. I smile back and drive forward.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I hardly ever interact in this blog. My real writing blog is @beanenigma. Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

“Well?” She says and James and I are fumbling for words. Pyp is hiding her face against James’ shoulder. At one point, she goes close to his ear and whisper.

“I’m sorry. I forgot to hide. Did I lose the game?”

I can’t think of anything to say. All I can think about is that I’m done for. So, as usual, I say something stupid and hope that it sticks.

“This is my niece. Ollie. Olivia.”

It’s not necessarily a lie. I consider J some kind of sister I never had. The three people in the room look at me with skeptic looks. Nazeera’s one was especially angry.

“Really? Did I lose the part where you have siblings? White ones, at that?”

“Wow, Nazeera. Racist much?”

“Call me racist again and I will punch you so hard they’ll be picking up your pieces in sector 39.” She stomps to us. Pyp hides her face again, starting to cry. “Who is this kid? What is all of that crazy talks about pretend attacks?”

“It’s not what it sounds like…” James tries to intervene.

“What does it even sound like?! That you stole a kid and your training it to stay hidden? That you’re going to lie to our leaders and use our resources to cover up your mistake?” Her voice gets louder every sentence.

“When you say it like that it sounds very bad.” James replies, caressing Pyp’s back to soothe her. “But it’s nothing like that. Also, you’re scaring the baby. Can you lower your voice please?”

Now it’s my turn to share the most incredulous face with Nazeera upon contemplating mama James.

The only way we got Pyp to calm down was giving her a cookie I had stored away in my hidden stash. It was hidden because Nazeera had a sweet tooth - specially after spending the night - and I missed eating the things I actually purchased. She gave me a side eye while I got the packet out, but didn’t mention anything as I negotiated with Pyp a cookie for a smile.

“So let me get this straight…” Nazeera says, sitting in the opposite couch to me and James. Pyp is between us, halfway through the package of cookies and much more calm now. Sometimes, she looks at us, the grown ups, and shakes her head, like she can’t believe we’re still talking about this. “This is Ella and Aaron’s kid?”

“Uh, huh.” James says, carefully pulling Pyp’s sleeves up so she won’t try to eat them.

“And she teleported half across the Sector to you after meeting you for a day?” Her eyebrow raised so high it should be illegal.

“I know it’s crazy. But Juliette and Warner are pretty powerful. That would explain Pyp’s strenght. Wouldn’t explain her precision, but we don’t really know how powers work even today. Maybe she was just… Born knowing.” James shrugs and I find that unlikely. While he’s speaking, Pyp’s eyes spark up when she hears her parent’s names - which I find odd, since she doesn’t know her mother used to be Juliette.

She grabs my sleeve and pulls on it. I lean closer and she puts her hands around her face like she’s about to tell me a secret.

“My name’s Olympia Sommers-Warner.” She says and giggles, covering her mouth like she just said something she wasn’t supposed to. “Like Unky said.”

I nod, trying to pay attention to the conversation. Pyp finishes her cookie and doesn’t look like she feels like taking another one. Instead, she takes my hand and starts playing with my fingers. I look down at her, surprised. It’s the first time she initiates touch. Maybe the kid doesn’t hate me after all.

“Are you grounded because you saw me?” She asks, again in a very low voice. I smile and shake my head.

“Not. Or, at least, not yet. We need to get you back to your mom. And only then, maybe, I’ll be grounded.”

Pyp nods thoughtfully.

“What if I ask my mom to tell scary lady that I didn’t know there was a game and you couldn’t see me so she won’t ground you?”

“Ah. No, that’s okay, Pyp. This lady is not scary. This lady is my girlfriend.”

Pyp stops dead in her tracks. Her mouth drops. Her eyes widen. She stands up on the couch, screeching and pointing at Nazeera, not even caring that James is mid-sentence. We all stop to look at her, mortified.

“You can fly!” Pyp poofs to the coffee table and then right into Nazeera’s arms. “Take me flying!”

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I hardly ever interact in this blog. My real writing blog is @beanenigma. Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

We don’t stop as the sun rises behind us. Connor wakes up at the first rays of light - just like he did when he was a baby. His eyes flicker awake and he looks out to the fields, immediately trying to understand where he is. He sees me and relaxes.

“Mom”, he whispers, pulling his legs up to the seat that was too big for him. I try my best to smile.

“Hey, baby.” I touch his knee slightly and try not to be sad about the way he tenses up again. I pull my hand back. “Did you sleep well?”

“I guess…” He rubs his belly, shifting on the seat. “Are we there yet? I’m hungry.”

“Just a little left, Con.” I put both my hands on the wheel, trying to stop the instinct of running my fingers through his hair. I hadn’t realized how accustomed I was to touch them until I couldn’t. “Do you want to talk about what I’ve told you yesterday?”

Connor is silent for a couple of minutes, which is unlike him. I keep starting at the road, giving him the time he needs. I start to think he went back to sleep, but when I look at him, he’s wide awake.

“Yes. I want to talk about it.”

He says, in a decided voice I hardly ever hear. I nod.

It’s hard to think about what to say. If you’re worried about me hurting you then you’re absolutely right you should be scared of me you should keep yourself far away as much as it pains me I normally can hold myself but there can come a day where I can’t and if I ever hurt you my world would go up in flames and there would be nothing else

“Mom? Did you hear me?”

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind from these intrusive thoughts. I look ahead, struggling to keep my eyes on the road.

“Hm? Sorry, baby, I think got distracted for a second”

“I asked about these people. Your parents. And dad’s parents. What are they to me?”.

Nothing, I wanna say. They mean nothing, my sweet Connor, and you never have to waste a second of your life thinking about them, not like I have, this was never the life I dreamed for you.

“They were your grandparents”, I say begrudgingly.

“What happened to them?”, he asked, almost immediately.

“They died”.

“Did they die or did you kill them?”

I’m shocked at how coldly he says it. He’s staring at the road, his hands holding tightly to each other. I take a deep breath, shifting my hands at the wheel. Suddenly every position seems the most uncomfortable one I could possibly be.

“Does it matter?”

“It matters.”

I sigh.

“We killed them. Your dad killed his dad. And I killed both my parents.” I make a turn and the sound of the road’s dirt lifting up covers up my swallowing hard. When the sound dimmers, I hear Connor whisper.

“Why?”

“Because of what I told you. They had to be stopped. They made things… To me, to your father, to other people… That were unforgivable. They wouldn’t stop any other way. And we had to make sure they couldn’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“But why? Why you?” He made small firsts, thumping on his own thighs. “You guys are farmers, how can you kill people?!”

I can’t help but remember what Kenji told me. That dirty liar. About my kids understanding, about them accepting me the way I was. I should have never let him stay, let him get in my head. But now it was done and I had to find a way to control the situation before I lost another one of my kids.

“There will be times in your life, Connor, that you’ll find yourself in a position you never wanted to be in, but that no one else could take your place.” I say, my voice growing louder, hoping I could let him know everything I wish I could spin it into words. Maybe if I had pen and paper, maybe if I had time. But my tongue twisted on itself and it was so hard to communicate anything at all. “And I hope you never ever have to do the choices I had to. I did all of this so there would be better a world for children like you and your sister. So that no one would have to grow up locked in a room or getting tortured or beaten or having no food.”

When I snap out of it, I can feel Connor’s eyes on me. They grew larger, but they never budge. He looks at his own hands, opening and closing his hands. He’s quiet for a while and I focus on the way, trying not to look at him, afraid of what I would find in his eyes.

“What about me?”

“What about you, sweetie?”

He opens and closes his little hands again.

“Was I… Was I made like you were? And Pyp? Because I have powers like you guys have… Do I have to hurt people too? Is that why Pyp left? Was she scared?”

I slowly decrease the Humvee’s speed until we stop at the side of the road. I look at my son. My expression is grave, as much as I want it to warm up, to show him it’s okay. My heart is breaking, but I somehow manage not to shake as I wait for him to look at me. He lifts his green eyes, curious. His hands are on top of his lap, fiddling nervously.

“Connor Sommers-Warner.” I say, I as hardly ever do. In our small world, in our house, there was hardly any need for calling for him his full name. Out here everything was different. I knew exactly who he is, that doesn’t mean he does.

I remember the baby he was and the feeling of holding his warm body against my chest. I remember his hurried breath, his small hands and fingernails, the smell of his hair. I remember all of the promises I made to him even before he was born, even when he was just an idea, hardly as big as an orange. What I kept whispering when he was so small I couldn’t believe. What I sang to him as lullabies.

“You know why we gave you and your sister the last names we did?”

“Because it’s your guys’ last names together?” He asked. I shook my head.

“We were done with what we had to be. We were ready to leave it all behind forever and never looking back. We were going to let you - and, well, your sister too, but she wouldn’t come for another two years - be Ferrars. My fake name, from when I moved to North America.” Connor leaned in, listening. “It was who I was when we met the last time. Juliette was who brought us together, even if she was made up. But… As time passed… We realized we couldn’t keep running. And as terrible, horrible and no good our past was… We had to understand it was there. And there were good things in our paths, things we wouldn’t want to leave behind.”

I’m about to fix his hair, but I stop myself, pulling my hand back. Connor sees it, but he doesn’t say anything, afraid to interrupt me.

“If you were a girl… We couldn’t agree on either name you after my sister, your aunt Emmaline. Or your grandmother, you father’s mother Leila. We just agreed they were names that just wouldn’t fit together. As you turned out to be a boy… We decided to give you a new name. With no shadow from what came before. But still… Keeping in mind that there was heritage to be proud of. So we gave you Sommers so you’d be… Well, not like me, but brave like your aunt Emmaline. And Warner. So you’d be kind like your grandmother Leila.”

Connor contemplated this new information, nodding to himself. I continue, because I need him to listen. He never listens, but just this once. I need it to stay with him. I need this to stick, because I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say it again.

“So, Connor, please. Don’t ever think you’re restricted by who your grandparents were. Or even by who your dad and me are. You’re your own person. You’re free to do whatever you want. You weren’t build to be anyone else than yourself. And you should never ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

My face is burning. My face is burning because there is a fire inside of me. My heart has already been reduced to ashes. The water inside me has boiled and is trying to escape through my eyes. My throat is closed with the smoke of terrible dreams coming through. As soon as Connor’s eyes leave me, I’m sure I’ll break apart. I’ll fall into a million little pieces. I hope he doesn’t look back so he doesn’t see it, I hope he never lives to regret it, to regret putting me behind. I close my eyes, trying to hide the pain.

Connor’s head fits perfectly under my chin. His hair is so soft. He climbs over the stick of the humvee and he sits on my lap, arms around my waist. I stand still for a moment, breathless, scared that if he holds on to me too hard, I’ll break apart. But that’s not what he does.

Connor and Olympia, they’re so much better. Than me, than Aaron, than anyone I’ve met. They fix, they heal. They make the world better. They fill it with joy and excitement. I feel Connor get into my crevices, putting them back together, extinguishing the fire, dissipating the smoke, clearing the air. I put my arms around him and I sob against his shoulder. I cry because the relief is unbelievable. A weight I didn’t know that was crushing my lungs is finally gone. Now that fear - of being where I started, rightfully alone and unlovable - is no more. And I owe it all to him. To this small incredible human being I made.

“Now it’s time to go, mom.” Connor says after a while, nuzzling my neck. For a second, it’s like he’s the parent and I’m the child. He pulls away from me, using his hands to dry my face. “We have to go find Pyp.”

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I hardly ever interact in this blog. My real writing blog is @beanenigma. Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

AARON

I thought there might never com a day again in which I would wake up with that emptiness in my stomach again. That feeling that I didn’t want to see what would happen today - good or bad. I just wanted this day gone. That feeling that I had to stand up, just to make time go faster. Alone. In silence. But there it was. And up I go. 

I get down to the fields. I feed the dogs and the chickens and the pigs and the cow. I water the vegetable garden in the back. I pick tomatoes and rosemary and beans. Nothing feels familiar anymore, even if I have been doing this every day for almost eight years. 

Last night, I thought I might explode, when Connor never get home from looking for Pyp. I searched the house, chest hurting, grabbing onto walls not to let myself collapse. Losing them both was too much. Was unbelievable, inconceivable. How could someone have two children one day and no children on the other? 

That was when I saw the piece of paper on top of Connor’s bed. In his terrible handwriting, he left a note that said “DaD I Uent WeeF Mam”, which hardly meant anything at the state I was in. So I went looking for our old short distance radio to try and get Ella in the Humvee’s radio while she was still in range. But there was no need. She got in contact first.

“W, it’s J, come in. Come in, W. Over”, the voice formed out of the static as soon as I got it on. I pulled out the speaker. 

“This is W. Requesting code. Over.” 

We didn’t have a code. But old muscles had been flexing all over even since Kishimoto had shown up at our doorstep. I heard Ella laugh on the other side and my body slightly relaxed. 

“I don’t have a code. But I love you. I hope that’s enough.” And it is. It’s always enough. It’s more than I need. More than I ever deserved. “I have a stowaway following me to camp. I was too far to come back. Over.” 

I looked back at the note crumpled on my hand. I’m relieved, but the tension wouldn’t leave me. Both of them, driving straight into the snake’s nest. I should have gone in her place. Connor was always always more attached to her, anyway. 

“We have to work on his spelling. Over.” 

I said, because I can think of nothing else. When Ella answered, I can hear the subtle alteration in static that I think I can make out to be his voice complaining. 

“Keep looking for Pyp. I’ll come in as soon as I can to let you know if we find her here. Over.”

“Will do. I’ll also report if I have anything. And J?” The letter felt alien, old and weird. Like a nickname we grew out of. I hadn’t thought of her as Juliette for almost a decade. “Be careful. Over.” 

“I will. And we’ll find her. You’ll see. Over and out.” 

We turned off the radio. I sat down on the garage floor and breathe slowly and deeply a couple of times. Alone once more, yes. But also, never as alone as I once was. That weight in my chest in the mornings too, would pass. 

Because back then I didn’t have anything to fight for. 

And now I have everything.  

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I hardly ever interact in this blog. My real writing blog is @beanenigma. Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

ELLA

   I follow the sun as it dives into the horizon. I imagine being there too, having the car fall off the edge of the world, falling into darkness, finally thinking of something else other than my baby girl.

    My decision to go alone had been met with severe protest from both of my boys. Connor had cried. He hadn’t cried like that for some time now. With how smart he was, it was easy to forget he was still a child. He still needed me and his father. But this was something I had to do. I insisted for the boys to stay, I needed to go after them.

    And with Aaron in the state he was in, I don’t think anyone could stop him from reducing the whole camp to dust in case he didn’t find Pyp if he had gone. No, staying in our own familiar home with Connor and keeping up our routine as well as he could while looking for her was best for him.

    The way doesn’t seem as familiar as I thought it would be. In my mind, I thought I knew exactly what I had to do to go back. It was a comfort. Knowing there was somewhere to go back to if everything went wrong. It was a first. But now I saw how long it had been. How my memory had faded. Luckily we still had that map - so old it still had the sectors’ borders.

    The sun is suddenly gone and I’m in full darkness. My brights travel little space, just enough so I know I’m moving somewhere. I try to quiet my breathing, keep steady. I’ve been driving for hours, but there is still some way to go.

    I hear something in the car. Like a soft knock at the back. I take it for a rock from the road. It comes again the same way. I try to look at at the rearview mirror, but see nothing. Finally, a bang. My first reflex is to step on the brake with all of my strength. I didn’t know how fast I was going. My body is projected ahead, held back by the security belt. The car slips in all of the dirt.

    My head is spinning, but I get out of the car. I lift the gun in my hand, but I’m ready to make the whole world burn if this is a trap. Maybe Pyp didn’t go out on her own after all. Maybe they were back, they were all back. Maximilian and Evie and Paris and the Reestablishment and they would close the door and my children… Oh, my children, not them.

    I see movement and I shoot, muscle memory. I see a blur get out of the way and I hear whimpering. I feel sick. I hold back my powers with all of my might. I throw the gun to the side as if it was burning.

    “Connor?!” He’s hiding behind the car, curled up on himself, hands to his head. He starts to cry. My heart is racing. I look back at the road, then back at him. “Are you hurt? Did you follow me?!”

    He moves, but doesn’t look at me. He doesn't look hurt. Not physically, anyway. He looks at where the gun is on the ground. I walk to him, kneeling. He takes a step back and falls on his butt on the dirt. Fear. Of course he’s scared. I remember what it means being scared. Being scared of my parents, of the people who were supposed to love me the most. Being scared of older people with scary instruments, that would use it to hurt me with any chance they’d have.

    “Connor…”

    “I’m so-sorry. I’m sorry. I just- I just wanted to help Pyp. I’ll go back home. I’ll go back home right now!” He stutters through his sobs. His tears leave a trail in all of the road dust in his face. Before he stands up, I raise my hands as a sign of peace. I slowly get closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

    “Shhh. Shh, baby, it’s okay. It’s just me. It’s just mommy.” He looks at my hands and then at me, and it pains me to see his hesitation. Finally, Connor flashes to me, holding on to my waist, crying against my chest. I hug him back, a lump travelling up to my throat. “I’m so sorry I scared you. You scared me too, you were supposed to be with your dad.”

    “Why were you holding that?” He asked, eyes tightly closed.

    I hug him closer. Closer to me. If I could just absorb him back... Keep him safe like I had at the beginning. I would oh how I would protect my baby to the end of the world my small helpless baby that I had birth and nursed and bathed and fed and that I loved so much

    “Mom?”

    “There are people, Connor, who might want to hurt us.” I say slowly, what I should have said before. I was so set on making my kids happy, I didn’t realize I was making them careless. I wasn’t being a good mother, I was being a careless one. There Pyp was, lost for trusting too easy. And here Connor was, on his way to danger for his loyalty. Both great qualities, both could get them killed. “But I’ll never let that happen. Not to you and not to your sister. I’ll never risk it.”

    He pulls back, looking at my face.

    “You were a soldier.” He says and this much he already knows. I look around at the dark road and feel terribly exposed. Anything could come at us in this darkness.

    “Let’s get in the car, Connor.”

    “No! I want to know!” He holds my sleeves and keeps me in place. His voice travels through the night, to the empty fields. His eyes are the only green in sight. They fire at me, they search me whole. “Where are we going? Why can’t I know? I’m big now! I can help!”

    I hold his hands, one at a time. I press them slightly, avoiding his stare. I bring them to my lips and I nod.

    “Alright.” I say, defeated. “I was a soldier, yes. And so was your dad.”

    “Like Mrs. Gilbert’s sons?”

    “Different. We were… Important.”

    “Important?”

    I nod. I lean towards him, whispering cause there is no other way to do this and not throwing up.

    “We were the children of people who wanted a world no one could live in. We were made for destruction. For chaos, for killing. We have terrible powers, Connor, and we have done terrible things.”

    His eyes shoot everywhere. I can almost see the cogs working inside his brain, not nearly as fast as he needed them to be.

    “Then… Then what happened?”

    I can’t help but smile through my tears.

    “We found each other.”

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I needed some self indulgent new-gen, so here; post defy me

A/N: I’m moving blogs! Don’t worry, Multiply Me will remain here for now, but if you would like to follow a new writeblr, just come say hi @beanenigma​! Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

I extend myself at breakfast. These last few days have been no mentally exhausting that I just want to try and enjoy this very rare glimpse into Nazeera’s apartment - its organized mess, the slight smell of something natural, the way it all looks just like her. 

Also, she’s being awfully nice, which is unusual. This is now our way of doing things. But I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. 

“Have you reported back to work yet?” She says, taking a sip of her tea. As we’re in the couch, her long long legs are crossed on top of mine. 

“No, not yet. We came in late last night. I’ll give that excuse.”

“It’s not like you to miss work like that.” 

She says, her dark eyes hovering around me, as if she’s trying to see something just beyond her reach. I sustain her look, feeling a warm spot grow in my chest. 

“You’re worried about me.”

Nazeera remains quiet for a couple of seconds, contemplating her cup of tea. Finally she nods. 

“I always worry about you.” She puts her cup at the coffee table and scoots closer, the side of her body just next to mine. “I know seeing Ella again can’t have been as easy as you say it has.” 

So this is why. I take her hand slowly, carefully. 

“I guess it wasn’t. I’m just… Organizing everything in my mind, still.” 

“You are a bit slow”, she agrees with a condescending smile and a nod. I give her a side look and she laughs. “Sorry. Force of habit.” 

Her hand runs through the hair at the back of my head. Soft and steady, as everything about her. She waits, quietly, until I’m ready to talk. 

“I guess… I guess I always thought that… Whatever reason they had for leaving wasn’t… Could never be… Good enough. That whenever I worked up the courage to get down there and speak my mind… They’d come running back.” I say, slowly. I didn’t mean to, but after the first words slip, everything comes right after. I finally understand the weight that’s been sitting on my stomach. I can address it, tell it to get a job and get out of my life. But it stays there, it’s been there for years. “I thought what we had here would be enough. That our team would be enough.” 

“That you’d be enough?” She suggests gently. I close my eyes, because it sounds about right, but it also sounds stupid. I feel like a little kid again, searching for approval, reaching for everything I could get. Trying not to let things go to shreds again and be left alone. “And why weren’t you?” 

“Well, I couldn’t be.” I say and I know it’s true. “And I don’t feel bad about it. I couldn’t say I would do the same if I was them, but… After everything that happened to them? I kind of get it…” 

Her eyes push me a little harder. 

“Do you?” 

Of this I’m certain. I nod.

“I do. I do understand. And I’ll keep helping them protect their location as I’ve had since the day they left. I’ll help them protect themselves.” I say and I’m so sure I almost immediately get up. “That’s why I have to go.” 

When I walk into my apartment, I hear a little shriek and find James with empty hands in the middle of the room. He looks around and sighs. 

“It’s okay, Pyp. It’s just Kenji. You don’t have to hide from him. He already knows about you” He starts to walk around. Pyp drags herself from under the bed, sneezing. James puts his hands on his hips and I have to stifle a laugh. What happened while I was gone?

“That’s no rule!” 

“No poofing is a rule. And you poofed. So you get no points.” 

“No fair!” 

She stumps her little feet on the ground and sits down in protest. I walk towards them. 

“Hey. Sorry I took so long. I had to make sure Nazeera didn’t suspect anything” I look down at Pyp, who is making an effort not to look at me. “What is this about points?” 

“Ah. Me and Pyp have been practising for her to hide when other people come. She’s getting really good at poofing.”

“Poofing?” 

“That’s what she calls it. I prefer jumping.” 

“POOFING!” Olympia screams, getting a little red on the process. 

“Okay. Sounds like a good idea. But I have another idea…” I snap my finger, getting both of their attentions. “I have to go back to work. I wouldn’t put my job in danger like this never, but Pypsqueak has to go home. So I think… We should fake an attack. Then I can get the patrol car to pursue it. Once she’s safe and sound with her parents, we’ll think of something to say.” 

James puts his hands to his head as if it was about to explode. 

“Kenji. This is a really bad idea.” 

“Do you have a better one?” 

“I do”, the voice comes from nowhere, a specific part of it, close to the door. I feel my stomach drop and my knees melt. Nazeera. She takes off her invisibility and stands in my middle of the room. Pyp screams a poofs right into James’ arms. “You can tell me exactly what the hell is going on.” 

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I needed some self indulgent new-gen, so here; post defy me

A/N: I’m moving blogs! Don’t worry, Multiply Me will remain here for now, but if you would like to follow a new writeblr, just come say hi @beanenigma​! Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

JAMES

“Kenji?!” I peeked outside of the bathroom, but he was gone. I grunted, getting back into the bathroom. What the heck was I supposed to do now. Pyp had her pants up and her hands washed and was looking at me with those enormous blue eyes. “Hey, I think Kenji went on a walk without us. We’ll stay here and wait for him, okay?”

“Okay. But I’m hungry. Can I have fruit cubes?”

I highly doubted Kenji would have anything like that in his house, but it didn’t hurt to check.

“Fruit cubes. Let’s see.” I take Pyp outside by the hand and sit her on top of the bed while I go to the kitchen to check on what is there. There isn’t much, but I’m able to find two oranges. I turn around to find Pyp seated on top of the counter. “Hey! Hey, no, Pyp. You can fall from here. No jumping to high places.”

I put her down. She pouts.

“I don’t jump. I poof!”

“Fine. No poofing. Uhh… Do you like oranges?” I show her the two oranges in my hand. I really have no idea how much I’m supposed to feed her. I should have paid closer attention to breakfast.

“Uh. Huh.”

“Cool. I’m making you some orange cubes.”

Pyp starts making a little dance, following my hands with her eyes while I fumble to find a knife and a cutting board.

“What about the other fruits?”

“We only have oranges.”

“But what about bananas?”

“We don’t have bananas.”

“Ah. And apples?”

“No. No apples.”

“Okay, okay. And grapes?”

“Pyp. I just said we only have oranges.”

She nodded, like she knows . She walks around in circles while I finish cutting everything. When I’m done, I put all the cubes into a bowl and bring it to her, sitting next to her on the floor. She sits down too and puts the bowl between her crossed legs. She starts picking on the fruit with the tip of her fingers, quickly making a mess. I go to pick up some napkins and start trying to keep her dry while she eats.

“Now listen, Pyp. This is not like your house. Do you understand?”

“Uh huh. My house is small. But this house is even smaller! But there’s a lot of houses.”

“Yes, very good. But also, there are a lot of people in this place. People who can’t see you.”

“They can’t see me? What’s wrong with their eyes?”

“No. Not like that. They can see you, they’re just not supposed to see you.”

Pyp frowns, looking at an orange cube.

“They’ll get grounded if they see me?”

“No. I mean, sure. Yeah. They’ll be grounded. That’s why we can’t let anyone else see you. Alright? We can call it… A game.”

“A game?” Pyp’s eyes shine in the excitement.

“Yes! A game. A game in which… If you get seen… We lose. So we gotta hide when someone is about to see you.”

“Okay... “ Pyp nods slowly.

“But there are other rules. You can only jump if I tell you so.”

“Poof! Poof!”

“Fine, fine. Poof. You can only poof if I tell you so. You can never poof far. And never ever go near big machines, okay?” Pyp didn’t seem to follow all of that and was concentrating on her food. I wipe her face to call her attention. “Did you hear, Pyp? Don’t poof if I didn’t tell you to. Don’t poof far. Never go near machines, okay?”

“Okay, unky.” She nodded, but I’m not sure she understood any of the rules. Because one second later, she poofs back to the top of the bed and starts jumping on it.

Synopsis: Ella Sommers decides her biggest mission is also her last. Despite wanting to correct the Reestablishment’s mistakes, there are bigger things at stake now. Things not even her friends can know about.

A/N: I needed some self indulgent new-gen, so here; post defy me

A/N: I’m moving blogs! Don’t worry, Multiply Me will remain here for now, but if you would like to follow a new writeblr, just come say hi @beanenigma​! Thanks!

AO3 link | First Chapter | Index

Connor took 17 hours to get out.

“Get out” wasn’t exactly how I used to think of the so called miracle of birth. I did find it poetic how some languages called it “give light” to a child. It was the culmination of a process that involved love from beginning to end.

Except I was horribly, terribly wrong, and it was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life.

Mrs. Gilbert had warned us, of course. She had offered to stay with us for the first weeks, help us with the delivery. But because none of us liked Mrs. Gilbert that much and wouldn’t want her snooping around our newborn baby, both me and Ella said no. You know, like two paranoid airheads would. She gave us what could only be described as a manual with instructions for what should be done every step of the way.

The way she said it, it sounded like a quick process. Break water. Labor. Pushing. Baby. But there actually was a whole part between being in labor and pushing that the baby wasn’t fully aware of. So we waited. And waited. And waited. Ella grew tired, droplets of sweat running all through her body. She kept asking - begging - the baby to come out.  But it seemed pretty comfortable where he was.

“Aaron”, she said, when we were nearing the fifteenth hour. “I think my powers might be coming up.”

“Coming up? What do you mean coming up?”

“I’m tired. I might lose my grip on them.” She held my wrist, but I didn’t feel anything, of course. I was immune. But the baby wasn’t - or at least, didn’t seem to be. “If that happens, you need to take her out fast.”

“I don’t know how to. Is that even possible?”

“I don’t know, Aaron. Please, just try.” She squeezed my wrist harder. Her head rested against the bed rest and she whimpered. “How much longer can she be in there?”

I didn’t know.

“She wasn’t there.” Connor says, arriving back at the house’s porch, where we were waiting for him. “Mrs. Gilbert is really freaked out by the way. I told her I went there running, but I don’t think she believes it.”

I nod, my head still foggy from the attack earlier. I can hardly keep up with everything that he says.

“You okay, dad?” I nod again, pulling him closer and giving him a squeeze on the shoulder. He takes it as incentive. “Well, where else could she be?”

“It doesn’t seem like she’s anywhere close.” Ella says, standing up and walking around. “Unless…”

“Unless?” Connor and I say at the same time. Two pairs of green eyes looking for salvation, for an answer.

“What if she teleported to James?”

“Could she do that?” Connor asked.

“I don’t know. We can only guess how her powers work. But she’s a toddler. Her thoughts are not that complex. We’ve covered all of her favorite things. Your dad. The dogs. The Gilbert’s farm…” I start to think about that logic. It makes sense. But…

“What if we’re wrong. We can’t just go there. What if she’s still here somewhere?”

“That’s why I’ll go. You guys can stay behind and look for her here.”