all that is gold

#SANDIFOE   ―   every  ignorant  shit  who’s  ever  told  you  to  get  yourself  under  control  should  just  try  being  young  and  scared  with  your  heart  on  the  line.  control’s  not  easy.  control’s  a  fucking  fantasy   [  .  .  .  ]   independent,  private  &  selective  toni  shalifoe  from amazon  prime’s  the  wilds.

    episode 1 - 3

it’s okay. go back to bed.

you okay? you scared? that’s okay. i get scared too sometimes.

why are you awake?

your big brother must have scared her away. big brothers are good like that.

the big dreams can spill out sometimes.

how long do we have to live here?

do you remember that storm?

i’ve never seen a ghost.

i don’t need to say goodbye.

i need you to call me.

there’s nothing easy about this house.

this door’s been locked for years and years and years and years, so if there’s a pony in there, it’s dead.

i know you don’t need me to tell you this, but literally everything is an emergency with [name].

look, i can’t deal with this right now.

that’s why everybody dumps their shit on me, isn’t it?

where’d you come from?

i’m just kind of a germophobe. 

i know you normally prefer the company of cold stiffs.

i mean, she’s sweet enough but - pile of issues.

who’s saying it’s quick? i’m a giver.

you’re like a guy. you’re worse than a guy, you’re like a frat guy.

when i said you could live here, i wasn’t expecting the pussy parade.

i’m drawing boundaries, which is something you might want to look into.

she’s got one foot in crazy and the other on a banana peel.

we gotta get out of here right now.

you keep your eyes closed no matter what you hear. you don’t open them. you promise?

you don’t just get to call me and tell me what to do.

a ghost can be a lot of things: a memory, a daydream, a secret. grief, anger, guilt.

i’ve seen a lot of ghosts. just not the way you think.

this is the worst of the bullshit- worse than the tabloids.

i need to start a real life for my own family.

no one will come any nearer than that.

something tells me they weren’t too scared of the dark.

science isn’t an exact science, you know.

how do you spell ‘no girls allowed’?

i used to have imaginary friends, too. they go away when you get bigger.

thanks. i needed a good scare.

you just stood there and watched him loot me?

i’m going to fix her.

every house needs a heart, and this is ours.

a house is like a person’s body.

when you’re little, you learn how to see things that aren’t there.

i told you, i’m too old for tea parties.

i don’t blame you for screaming.

there’s no such thing as ghosts and you know it.

you can pay me back when you’re a famous writer.

imagine the worst thing possible, assume it’s true, and go from there.

why are you banging on the wall?

i told you she was in trouble.

you know how when you take one of your pictures, you capture something forever, just the way it is? stories do that, too.

when we die, we turn into stories.

we’re all stories in the end.

this is too much for anyone.

codeine’s finally kicking in.

she’s gonna have a pretty messed up view of death coming out of this no matter what.

i’m sad, too. so sad, i can’t even tell you.

i handcuffed him to a radiator downstairs. he’s not going anywhere.

i just wanted to say break a leg - and if you make a run for it, i’ll keep the car running, okay?

you have another nightmare?

you can sleep with me for tonight.

you’re really freaked out, huh? ease up a little.

you’re squeezing too tight.

the stairs - the third step from the top, it makes a sound.

he’s always smiling, but he isn’t happy.

when i was little, i was afraid of a lot of things.

kids like us have been through more than other kids.

the foster care system isn’t the easiest place to grow up.

do you feel cold right there?

this whole house is cold.

you’re out of mustard and you’re almost out of turkey.

you always figure out how to help.

ugh, what is that smell?

i was trying to take ownership of something that doesn’t belong just to me.

i’m trying to do the right thing.

maybe it’s a middle child thing, but i just would rather focus on living my actual life right now.

want to let go of his arm?

you don’t have to be so mean about it.

there’s a ladder down here on the wall. you can come get me.

there’s something down here!

it’s okay, baby, we’re right here.

something grabbed me! monster! it was a monster!

we didn’t know you were into…?

sorry to bring this up again, but why the hell would she go to that house?!

don’t elaborate. don’t offer information that’s not requested.

i don’t want to have to tell them that i’m fucking pissed at [name] who should have known better.

nobody ever believes me.

i believe you.

i was just out and about and thinking about your case.

you just have to trust me on this. i haven’t been wrong before, have i?

i’m sure the guy will confess if you just get them here.

i really, really don’t like that you went down there by yourself.

we’ll talk a lot more about it as you get older.

if you’re feeling overwhelmed and you think nobody will understand, you can talk to me. about anything.

i’m pretty good at secrets.

you got a couple things wrong in there, by the way.

that was really wild stuff considering that you were asleep for, what, like ninety-nine percent of it?

i’m gonna get my fucking phD.

i thought i heard somebody down here.

make up something that’s gonna piss her off less than the truth.

we barely said two words to each other.

can we take a second and talk?

what do people usually talk about?

she just needed help and no one was listening.

so should we talk about your day or would you rather come to bed?

you get in, lock the doors, don’t unlock until you see me come outside.

don’t touch me!

SPRING    IS    HERE    AGAIN,        &        i    am    not    ready    this    time.            this    year,        SPRING    FEELS    LIKE    A    FUNERAL.            the    ground    grows    warm    while    bones    grow    cold

❝  i need you.  don’t you get that?  ❞

❝  i’m right here.  i’m always here right in front of you but you never see me!  ❞

❝  you’re my person.  ❞

❝  no,  i don’t wanna have to talk to anyone else right now.  i just want you.  ❞

❝  i know you’re busy and i don’t want to bother you i just—  can i just sit here with you while you work?  ❞

❝  are we okay?  ❞

❝  honestly,  i’m always there.  in my head.  the scars on my body might’ve healed but i never really walked away from it.  ❞

❝  do you want me to make the others leave?  or we could go,  get some fresh air.   ❞

❝  look i’m not coddling you,  i’m just trying to help.  i wanna take care of you cause i,  you know— care about you.  ❞

❝  alright,  here’s your coffee.  are you ready to talk or should i find something to ramble about for a few minutes?  ❞

❝  eventually,  you just gotta learn to let go of the past.  it’s always gonna hurt,  but you can choose when to start focusing on something other than the pain.  ❞

❝  hey,  just breathe.  look at me— look at me.  in and out.  breathe with me okay?  ❞

❝  keep your eyes on me—  just focus on me.  we’re gonna be okay.  ❞

❝  no,  i’m not okay.  nothing is okay.  it never is.  but that’s just how i function most days.  so i’ll be fine.  ❞

❝  i’m not gonna pretend anymore.  i’m still fucked up from it all and i don’t know when it gets better.  ❞

❝  if you keep waiting until you’re done ‘working on yourself’ before you let yourself be with the person you love,  you’re never gonna be with them.  and they’ll find someone else who is brave enough to give them a chance to love them exactly how they already are.  ❞

❝  why do you stick around?  what is it you think you see in me?  ❞

❝  not everything needs an explanation.  i care about you.  i don’t have to sit here and figure out why.  i just do.  so maybe you should try just accepting it too.  ❞

❝  i don’t need your permission to fall in love with you.  you don’t gotta love me back,  but it isn’t gonna stop me from being here when you need someone.  ❞

❝  you love me too much.  i know how that sounds but—  fucking hell.  you shouldn’t care that much about someone like me.  ❞

❝  i don’t care if loving you hurts me.  the world already has enough pain to dole out for no reason,  at least i’ll have gotten these scars from something beautiful.  ❞

❝  if people can hate for no reason,  than i can love for no reason too.  ❞

❝  one day you’re gonna need me and i’m not gonna be there to fix it.  ❞

❝  no,  i can’t fix everything for you this time.  it’s your mess.  clean it up.  ❞

❝  i dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations,  but mine doesn’t.  not when it’s you.  ❞

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

FLORENCE PUGH x J. CREW (SS 2022)

SPRING    IS    HERE    AGAIN,        &        i    am    not    ready    this    time.            this    year,        SPRING    FEELS    LIKE    A    FUNERAL.            the    ground    grows    warm    while    bones    grow    cold