N I H I L I S M

“You ever seen a ghost?”

“Say more right now”

“I used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgown”

“Let’s change the subject”

“This is a weird topic”

“None of us ever really know our fathers”

“We don’t have time to unpack all of that”

“STREET SMARTS!”

“Sit up straight! Be respectful!”

“So say a kidnapper grabs you and throws you in the trunk of their car”

“Brush your teeth! Now BOOM orange juice, that’s life”

“That’ll throw him off his rhythm”

“Weird, psych-out, backroom Chicago violence”

“As any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phonebook doesn’t leave bruises”

“Okay, when you get kidnapped- not if, when”

“If you get taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to none”

“I thought I was gonna be murdered my entire childhood”

“What would Leonard Bernstein do”

“Give us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if it’s money!”

“Now you have the audacity to ask me for MORE money?!”

“I gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you spent it already?!”

“She’s not gonna do anything else for you. It’s done.”

“I thought our transaction was over”

“Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?

“College was like a four year game show”

“Well if it’s too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirt”

“These meaningless politeness rules”

“I like to throw in I’m kidding at the end of jokes now”

“See you at improv practice”

“Of all the sentences that I would be ashamed to hear read in court”

“I am damp all the time”

“I don’t think it’s anything serious”

“I’m gross now”

“Y’know, life?”

“Monkey monkey monkey man”

“I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room”

“It’s tough to not get grumpy. It’s so tempting”

“I’m trying to stay nice though”

“Maybe they have a different definition of nice”

“If we must go on with salt alone, we will go on with salt alone”

“Famous people are weird as shit. They’re all weird. Your suspicions are correct”

“That must change you as a person”

“Everything was slower in the old days. Because they didn’t have enough to do so they had to slow things down”

“We gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the day”

“Everything is too fast now and totally unreasonable”

“Everything is run by robots, and we spend most of the day telling them that we’re not robots”

“Prove to me you’re not a robot. Look at these curvy letters!”

“How’d you like to be indoors and out of doors all at once?”

“May I introduce you to THE GAZEBO”

“It seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the time”

“There’s a horse loose in the hospital”

“What’d the horse do, what’d the horse do”

“We’re well past that”

“Okay okay okay okay okay okay”

“I have fired the horse catcher”

“How come you opened the door for the horse?”

“I used to pay less attention”

“I’m lazy by nature”

“And you can quote me on that”

“We bought a stroller for our dog”

“Just one more follow up question”

“What did they say in there, what did they do, what did they tell you”

“That’s the same joke twice”

“A charming anecdote that was fake and never happened”

“It’s a word you’re meant to mishear”

“The bread of bread is bread. The bread is good”

                    there’s something WRONG with me.                  a flaw in my code, a virus in my heart                    i think i’ve f o r g o t t e n how to love

( Change pronouns as needed! )

’ You’re not usually like this. What happened? ‘

‘ Are… are you crying? Oh my God, what happened? Are you alright? ‘

‘ Don’t bullshit me. I’ve never seen you cry before. Of course something is up! ‘

‘ I know we fight a lot, but I still don’t like seeing you crying. ‘

‘ No. No! That’s enough. They won’t be hurting you any longer. This was the last straw! ‘

‘ Oh, please don’t cry. Come here, come… please don’t cry. ‘

‘ I know you’re in there! Please let me in. ‘

‘ I can hear you crying, you know? Do you want to open this door to talk or… ‘

‘ You want to be left alone, I know. But would you mind if I stayed near you anyway? Quietly, of course. I just want to be nearby to make sure that you’ll be fine. ‘

‘ Cry it out, it’s alright. Yeah, just like that. Just cry it out. ‘

‘ Please tell me what happened. I want to help you. ‘

‘ I’m here! It’s alright, I’m here now! ‘

‘ Hold my hand; we’ll get through this. Together. ‘

‘ I’m certain they’ll come back. They would never abandon you. ‘

‘ Come on now. I thought I was supposed to be the emotional one here? ‘

‘ You’re not stupid for being sad. You’re stupid for not letting yourself be sad. ‘

‘ I knew we couldn’t trust him. I will make his life a living hell for doing this to you. ‘

GENERAL

“Can you walk?”

“How did this happen?”

“What the hell happened?”

“I hit my head.”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Can you hear me?”

“Don’t close your eyes, stay awake!”

“Come on, stay with me!”

“No no no no no!”

“You shot me!”

“I didn’t mean to shoot you!”

“You stabbed me!”

“I didn’t mean to stab you!”

“Take the knife out!”

“Don’t take the knife out!”

“It was an accident!”

“That/this wasn’t an accident!”

“That looks broken.”

“I think my leg/arm is broken.”

“That doesn’t look good.”

“Am I going to die?”

“You’re not going to die!”

“Calm down!”

“Don’t panic!”

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me!”

BLOOD

“Are you bleeding?”

“Don’t move, you’re bleeding.”

“Is that blood?”

“Whose blood is that?”

“That’s a lot of blood.”

“Do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Damn, I got blood on my shirt.”

“Don’t move, you’re losing blood!”

“I won’t let you bleed out!”

“You have blood on your face.”

“I swear to god, if you get blood on me…”

“What’s your blood type?”

“Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?”

WOUNDS

“That cut is nasty.”

“You have a massive gash in your arm/leg!’

“Don’t touch it!”

“Don’t move, you’ll only make it worse!”

“I’ll get some bandages.”

“You’re going to need stitches.”

“That looks infected…”

“Did you get bit by something?”

“There’s no exit wound, the bullet is still in you.”

“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”

AFTERCARE

“How are you feeling?”

“How does it feel?”

“It’s still not healed, but it’s getting there.”

“Let’s go home.”

“I just want to go home.”

“Let’s get you into the bathtub.”

“We need to change your bandages soon.”

“Get some sleep, okay?”

“You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”

“I’ll check up on you in a bit.”

for muses that need a little love. 

❝  i’m here for you.  ❞

❝  let me help with that.  ❞

❝  i’m here.  ❞

❝  nothing’s gonna hurt you.  ❞

❝  if they do it again, you tell me.  ❞

❝  i’ll protect you. ❞

❝  i’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you.  ❞

❝  let me take a look…  ❞

❝  i’m a phone call away.  ❞

❝  you should have called me.  ❞

❝  here, sleep.  ❞

❝  if you wanna talk, i’m here.  ❞

❝  hey, shh, it’s okay.  ❞

❝  i’ll never let you go.  ❞

❝  you’re with me now.  ❞

❝  nothing’s gonna take you from my side.  ❞

❝  i’ll do what i have to.  ❞

❝  i need you to stay here, okay? i got this.  ❞

❝  it’s safe here.  ❞

❝  i’m fine, let me see your face.  ❞