i don't make fun posts anymore and never will

yes baby you tell them

#soloparkjimin

fuck.

fuck everything that is happening to bts and fuck those who celebrate it. i don't even feel the need to specify because those who know know and those who refuse won't care anyway.

and mainly, today i listened to nevermind again... and my heart bled. because nevermind everything but those idiots who pretend to be their fans and glorify bighit.

nevermind but your own company is doing this. yoongi... oh my god. yoongi.

jimin. jungkook..

bts...

just...

fuck.

fuck just run away with jk or something this is so not worth it, you deserve your peace and time for yourself to deal with whatever it is

to see “fandom” emo-porning again over him... like can you even differentiate between a breakdown we've never quite seen before and happy tears?

but this is accurate representation of this post-dna/tear fandom in the west, i guess. stereotypes, living off the "welcome to bangtan" youtube trash videos, not knowing anything besides the propaganda pushed by large accounts that keep fueling those years old untrue stereotypes.

but cute, fun, positivity.

oh god if only they could be real for one second and yell to the world how tired, done and ashamed they are.

btw it was shortly after i came into the fandom in the beginning of 2017 when they were on this tv show and had to dance blind (without sound as well? not sure) and you know who were the last two men doing the choreo after danceline fucked up?

namjoon and jin.

it was obvious how hard they worked to learn the dance.

and as many people said it already, you are not their fucking friends :D no matter how much you think you are. they don't love you as family, they don't love you as friends, you don't have a special connection. it's an illusion bighit created as a marketing strategy - many celebrities do it. they of course like and appreciate you as part of the mass of fans that support them and like them. normal thing, people like to be liked.

but when you feel as far up in your delusion as saying that shit in their faces; because in some university dancing crew au you read it was okay and funny when someone said it and you saw a video from fucking 2014... you have a problem.

i hate the stupidity of delusional part of the fandom in general but it's multiplied by thousands every time those idiots insult jimin or jin (jin was also insulted by bighit million times so... can't even describe the frustration).

lastly, a tiny bit unrelated, and this is not all people but still i notice it...

how so i see jimin stans that face shitstorms daily for defending jimin and their bias gets shit and bullying in form of "jokes" with tens thousands of likes defend other members every time; but many times with jimin it's simply not that deep?

i have to admit i didn't understand what people were on about with the hate on jimin a year or so ago - i was like, he's so popular and hilarious surely "it's not that deep". then i opened twitter and understood. twitter is a sick, sick place, perfect for bullying this or that member. and unless we identify the pattern and people behind it - often fairly large delusional accounts - and treat them accordingly, these things will keep happening and will get worse with every other million of "fans".

there is something wrong with his leg. very likely due to overworking them to the bone. during rehearsal he limped and tried to not apply pressure to the leg, was obv. in pain when he stepped on the leg. during performance one can see he still tried his hardest to both dance okay and not stress his leg, but it’s still visible and gut-clenching to watch for me.

this is not just any basic injury because they as all idols are used to dance even under different pain levels (that’s why they are covered in those pain-relief bandages) without us noticing anything. so the fact it was visible is very telling. i guess he was able to stand, so pain killers were pumped in him to do the performance and he did.

this is, mind you, before those effin’ bbmas performance and world tour again. 

0 time for rest, 0 time for relief, 0 time for their brains, souls and muscles to relax.

this can and i’m fearing will lead to serious issues. 

like we know bighit is evil but how evil can they get? 

(not enough of us tho, because millions of people still believe bighit is a family and BOYS choose their perfomances and BOYS choose their rest days and BOYS do this for the ARMY)

rehearsal footage 1: https://twitter.com/951013PJM/status/1122457136964034560

rehearsal footage 2: https://twitter.com/RVzN0nwDJCtjPJq/status/1122441804966584320

this is big hits fault and can damage him for good but why would you care when you can cry over stupid shit like their “family” image and how much they love us

“I JuSt wAnT To sUpPoRt tHe bOyS” “I LoVe tHeM ThE MoSt tHeY ArE My lIfE”

oh hun but you don’t, you support their company which treats them like this.

“ThEy pUsH ThRoUgH FoR Us uWu!!!”

oh my jesus my sweet jesus your amount of delusional is infinite you are part of the problem. if you avoid the problem you are part of it.

one day the truth will show, just like that seungri and burning sun shit is showing and we pretend to be shocked. and you will cry “how could’ve this been happening???”

i’ll tell you karen: thanks to ignorance of you and your purple fandom of delusional family positiveness and stupidity.

we could literally demand a change for the better as there is 20 million of us. but we don’t and never will. we all know why. because uwu.

for their own good i hope they'll disband asap without horrible consequences. i need them to be safe. i need jimin to be safe and well.

yes i snapped and i don't care.

and don’t you even dare to start with “grown ass men” shit. 

i admit i used to be much more calm and rational and civil but i lost all - every. single. drop. of my patience. every other week something happens and in 24 hours idiots pretend it never happened, or even better, as it’s happening they try to justify it. your amount of hypocritical makes me want to scream. 

PS: no, jimin did not push through “for you” but because he has to under some sort of consequences most likely as long as he can stand. no he is not crying as some weak “barbie ballerina” for “FaiLiNg the GroUp and FanS” in the backstage. yes there is a way for that stupid shitty company to avoid stuff like this. no, no matter what he will say and claim how okay he is and how he hopes fans don’t worry he is NOT okay, and I doubt any of them are. wake up already and change something while you can if you really like them at least a bit.

PS2: and this is for the fellow jikook shippers as well: how can you just overreact over jimin’s and jungkook’s interactions but completely omit the part where HALF of your ship is obviously in huge amount of physical (i bet mental as well) pain? how can you ever forget that time when they both fell to the ground from exhaustion/couldn’t even stand? how can you be so ignorant? 

they are people?????? real humans??????? not some anime characters or book characters you only love when they do cute shit together????

Anonymous said:can you please elaborate what happened with jeff benjamin and bts/jimin? 

:( i know i would love to believe they would focus on other things but...yeah. :D i am terrified of people being mean to me just for having an opinion, but hopefully i will handle it and it will help me to get through it more easily in the future (not connected to bts, but generally? who knows.)

i’m so sorry for those who had faith in me ranting over here... and maybe i will a few more times this comeback, but (after that) i just cannot anymore

and btw: 

i will support jimin no matter what, maybe just not here and not now

you can call me a solo stan :D

but whether it’s jimin, jin, jungkook, yoongi or hobi

i’m here for that 

i don’t feel the connection (personally) with tae and people ruined his image in my eyes by being so toxic (fdafs “now i’m toxic because i don’t love all 7 of them the same as he told us WE HAVE TO!”.. just unfollow me and leave me alone :( ) (but like, the idea of him from 2013-4/5 is hilarious and i love that, if he would still be the “same” which he isn’t because people grow and change which is okay and normal!, i would like to imagine he’s my friend from all the fanfics :D) 

and i’d rather not comment on joon. my first bias. my biggest love. my biggest “soul-like” connection. which is why i can explain somehow in front of myself why things are the way they are (with bts/how he presents things), but that doesn’t make it right. idk. this is just me feeling things nobody talks about (even in the “unpopular real” community as far) and i was scared of backlash :<. 

but. whatever. 

this fandom went to shithole after bbmas2017. the more "””fans, used to stan the western boygroup/artist”””” joined, the more toxic place this fandom became. 

that’s my “tea” and i will feel bad for the bad responses, but at the same time, being real is really still the most important thing to me. 

oh i see..........