* BEEP BEEP RICHIE !

@trashiemouth

‘  beep beep, richie. i’m serious.  ’

@trashiemouth​

‘  nice action figures, rich.  ’

    there’s no movement but the car looks dangerously close to lurching out at him. diosa sticks her head out the window. there’s something wrong when she passes that little barrier,   ‘    ya kiss your mother with that mouth ?   ‘  diosa knows a quick humor type when she’s lookin’ at ‘em. 

HOMERIC EPITHET  : BREAKER OF HORSES : You are Richie, breaker of horses, which is how you should be introducing yourself to people from this day forward. This ancient epithet was used to describe Atreus (king of Mycenae), Agamemnon (son of Atreus, also king of Mycenae), Hector (prince of Troy), Diomedes (king of Argos), and now you. That’s a lot of pressure, I know. Just don’t screw it up. You’ll be fine.

FATAL FLAW  :  YOU’RE AN IDEALIST IN A CRUEL, CALLOUS WORLD : You want the world to be good. Here’s the problem: it’s usually not. At best it’s subpar. At worst it’s a nightmare void, and your naiveté is simply a plot device used to emphasize this point. Your inability to accept the world’s present darkness will lead to your untimely downfall, but not before your dewy-eyed idealism and rosy visions of utopia erode away. You will become a shell of your former self. Sorry about that. Yikes.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY DEATH  :  KILLED BY A WILD BOAR THAT WAS SENT BY ONE OF THE GODS :  See, here’s the thing—someone sent that wild boar. It might have been Artemis, because she was jealous of your skill with a bow and arrow; it might have been Ares, who hated you; or it might have been Apollo, because your girlfriend blinded his son. There’s really no telling. You made enemies. This is just what happens when you’re too beautiful to even exist. Either way, you got mauled by a pig and are now dead, but you died in Aphrodite’s arms as she wept, so at least you've got that going for you.

LITERARY SETTING  :  HOGWARTS  :  You got Hogwarts! We all wish we were Hogwarts students, but you seriously belong there. You’re a quirky, creative, and magical person, and you were born to wander Hogwarts’ expansive grounds, use its secret passageways to sneak into Honeydukes, and take whimsical Hippogriff rides into the sunset. Just imagine walking past the Room of Requirement with Sunday brunch on your mind (brunch food + Hogwarts magic=RIDICULOUS foodstagrams). You'll need to look out for trolls, giant spiders, basilisks, cursed necklaces, evil students, booger-flavored beans, etc, but in the words of the late, great Sirius Black, what's life without a little risk? 

tagged by: ride or die @tithird

@trashiemouth

The stitching’s kinda sloppy but at least it’s done, which is more than Richie could say when he handed it over. Ani passes the felt back with the pin stuck through it and the foreknowledge, distant but hilarious, that sooner or later Richie will accidentally stab himself with it. She’s not smiling in a sadistic way – just looking forward to hearing something colourful out of his mouth. “Hope you were payin’ attention, I’m not doing your home ec projects every week.”

   he wasn’t paying attention, which is okay, really. it’s doubtful he’d have retained the information anyway, sewing isn’t his long lost artistic calling. next week ani might be hard pressed on being won-over, but richie has time to plot and prey on someone else’s kindness. eddie maybe. -nature finds a way.

@trashiemouth

     “You’re gonna get sick.” Eddie is boiling in this sweater but if he takes it off he’ll be too cold. The middle ground is a mythical construct. “And you always get nightmares if you eat cheese before bed.”

   "Oh, sweet! Evenin’! Orrrrrrrrr— mornin’. Uh, good morning, dude.” Rabbit’s voice echoes off the walls of the entryway but no one but he and Richie are the wiser. Even the birds are still asleep at five in the morning. On Richie’s behalf, he’s grateful for the quiet and calm.    “Richie? I’m Rabbit. Welcome.” He holds out his hand for Richie to take, smiling genuinely.

@trashiemouth 

     !!!!!!!!!!!!      “You don’t even - you don’t even, like - it’s not - that doesn’t even fucking — ” Eddie stops himself, lets out a hard breath and takes one in slow. When he talks again, it’s with the wisdom, patience and serenity of a monk. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

     “Yeah well you’d know. As like, the most-fore expert on sucking.”

@trashiemouth

‘  holy shit.  ’   he hasn’t been in derry for years.  hell, he hasn’t seen a single one of the losers since college. he was quick to get out. he wasn’t meant for maine.  ‘   richie tozier.  ’ 

@trashiemouth !

    it’s hard to decide what’s worse: the deceiving stillness of the air, the glistening red of the car, the waxiness of its still driver. the inside of the car is enough to blanket diosa in shadows, even in the broad daylight, eyes glinting out, watching, moving. they smack their hand hard against the car’s horn. 

    beep beep, richie !!

     “You are…”

     “Thefuckingworst.”

     “And I hate you! Just so you know.”