YOUR EX-LOVER IS DEAD

…good morning.

…goodnight.

…goodbye.

…where it hurts.

…where it doesn’t hurt.

…on a falling tear.

…to shut them up.

…in secrecy.

…in public.

…desperately.

…in joy.

…in grief.

…discreetly.

…casually.

…passionately.

…lazily.

…to distract.

…as encouragement.

…for luck.

…on a scar.

…on a place of insecurity.

…in a rush of adrenaline.

…in relief.

…in danger.

…as a ‘yes’.

…as an apology.

…as a suggestion.

…as a lie.

…as a promise.

…as comfort.

…after a small rejection.

…to wake yours up.

…forcefully.

…to pretend.

…to gain something.

…to give up control.

…without a motive.

…because yours is running out of time.

…because mine is.

…because the world is ending.

…because the world is saved.

…out of pride.

…out of greed.

…out of lust.

…out of anger.

…out of envy or jealousy.

…out of spite.

…out of habit.

…out of necessity.

warning for some nsfw content & alcohol.

I know about what you did.

I wanna scream the truth.

She thinks you love the beach.

You’re such a damn liar.

Thought you said that you would always be in love.

You’re not in love.

Did it frighten you?

I’ll come get my things.

I can’t let go.

I wish I could get my things and just let go.

My hips have missed your hips.

Will you sway with me?

I know you’re feeling it too.

Can we keep up with the ruse?

I know this story by heart.

Jack and Jill get fucked up and possessive when it gets dark.

We know that it’s over in the morning.

Don’t know you super well, but I think that you might be the same as me.

Let’s let things come out of the woodwork.

Yeah, awesome right?

You know I think you’re awesome, right?

I guess we’re partying.

Now you know it’s really gonna blow.

I get caught up, just for a minute.

You’re the one to blame.

Can you hear the violence? 

I blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you.

We’re the greatest they’ll hang us in the Louvre. Down the back, but who cares - still the Louvre.

I know that you are not my type.

She’s so hard to please, but she’s a forest fire.

I do my best to meet her demands.

You’re a little much for me.

You’re a liability.

I understand.

I’m a liability. 

I am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore.

Every perfect summer’s eating me alive.

They’re gonna watch me disappear into the sun.

Please could you be tender?

Let’s give it a minute before we admit that we’re through. 

It’s late and this song is for you.

Well, I guess I should go.

Yeah, I guess I should go.

These are what they call hard feelings.

God I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home.

I care for myself the way I used to care about you.

Why even try to get right?

It’s time to let go of this endless summer afternoon.

It was real for me.

I’ll fake it every single day ‘til I don’t need fantasy.

But I still remember everything.

I’ll start letting go of little things ‘til I’m so far away from you.

What is this tape?

This is my favorite tape.

Bet you wanna rip my heart out.

Bet you wanna rip my heart out.

Well guess what? I like that.

I’m gonna mess your life up.

I’m psycho high.

I know you won’t remember in the morning when I speak my mind.

We wonder why we bother.

You wanted something that we offered.

Break the news.

You’re walking out.

Sorry I was never good like you.

I did my best to exist just for you.

I am my mother’s child.

I’ll love you 'til my breathing stops.

I’ll love you 'til you call the cops on me.

I’ll find a way to be without you, babe.

I still feel you now and then.

Slow like pseudo-ephedrine.

I let the seasons change my mind.

I love it here since I’ve stopped needing you.

We keep trying to talk about us.

I’m someone you maybe might love.

I’ll be your quiet afternoon crush.

In my head I do everything right.

When you call I’ll forgive and not fight.

We were wild and fluorescent.

Come home to my heart.

Maybe all this is the party.

Maybe we just do it violently.

You’re not what you thought you were.

Every night, I live and die.

It’s just another graceless night.

I hate the headlines and the weather.

When we’re dancing I’m alright.

Are you lost enough?

Have another drink.

This is how we get notorious.

I can’t stand to be alone.

Let’s kiss and then take off our clothes.

All the nights spent off our faces.

january 2015

I do not believe any of us could have anticipated the threat.

There’s what we’re looking for. Unless we are having a mass hallucination.

I’m excited by this discovery. Are you excited, too?

That’s how the madness of the world tries to colonize you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality.

Silence creates its own violence.

Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough.

There are certain kinds of deaths that one should not be expected to re-live, connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of the link inside you.

You could know the what of something forever and never discover the why.

What can you do when your five senses are not enough?

You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you.

I had long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no.

Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable.

When you are too close to the center of a mystery there is no way to pull back and see the shape of it entire.

I hate words like ‘love’.

I still remember a gentler world. 

So long as you don’t tell people you don’t know something, they’ll probably think you know it.

We all just want to be people, and none of us know what that really means.

What’s your passion? Do even you know?

At the time, I was seeking oblivion, and I sought in those blank, anonymous faces, even the most painfully familiar, a kind of benign escape. A death that would not mean being dead.

Do you prefer to be ignorant or unsafe? 

The trees are not trees the birds are not birds, and I am not me but just something that has been walking for a very long time…

This part I will do alone, leaving you behind. Don’t follow.

It’s superstition - but it might be true.

Honesty is often just another way to be cruel.

I don’t cultivate friends; I just inherit them from other people.

I’m not the answer to all your problems.

My room is a mess and I lie sometimes and I’m not always nice to people but that’s the idea.

Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead?

Some things came to you late, but late was better than never.

I really wanted to lose myself.

What’s wrong with asking questions?

People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control, have never wanted control.

You guard the light. And light sees everything.

Don’t let them ask questions. You’re already giving them the answers, even if they don’t know it.

The world we are a part of now is difficult to accept, unimaginably difficult. I don’t know if I accept everything even now.

Sometimes you need to know when to go on to the next thing–for the sake of other people.

I doubt you’ll enjoy it.

You have to trust I know where I’m going. I always know where I’m going.

You never seem to see yourself clearly, do you?

I don’t care for your belief system.

You’re on your own, like you’ve always been on your own.