WILLOW'S CONSORT

Xiang Fei, formally known as Shang Qinghua, literally ran from the Jianghu cuz his ass was TIRED of being involved in scheming people's shit so he decided in a random day to fake his death and run away.

He ends up settling in Heaven's Pier. And IT'S GREAT, they have the best wine, the scenery is absolutely beautiful and he can do what he truly wanted to do in life, which was to write shitty porn for as long as he lived.

He's having the best time of his life, making friends, drinking himself into a stupor and writing whatever he wants. Xiang Fei truly wishes that this peace would last forever.

What Xiang Fei doesn't know is that his "death" unsettles the fragile balance of peace and caused such a horrible butterfly effect that it would eventually come back to bite him in the ass. Because 2 years after his death/retirement someone drops off a special package on his doorsteps.

That "special package" being a literal baby in a basket and a note which says:

Shang Qinghua, you were hard to tract but even you can't runaway from me. The baby in this basket, I've named him Luo Binghe, his existence itself is a crime to those with power. Keep him safe and hidden.

Think of this as your debt being paid.

You owe me.

Su Xiyan

Xiang Fei wants to rip his hair out because of course the one person he was hoping won't find him literally dumps her child with him. A child who is apparently a bad omen and dangerous enough to have both humans and demons hunting him if word gets out that he existed.

Fuck. FUCK! Just his luck.

XF/SQH who has a crush on MBJ since College and he has a huge shrine of just MBJ's face, abs, his used things and even his baby photos that SY hustled for him.

And literally SQH is OBSESSED with him like super to the point where his extracurricular during college was just stalking MBJ. Because who wouldn't be obsessed?? MBJ is Hot, Rich and Super Emotionally Unavailable, that's literally SQH's Type!!!

A few years later, while already having graduated college, his love for MBJ is still as fiery and fierce as one can get. So when he reads the headline of a newspaper he's currently reading: MOBEI JUN, OWNER OF THE NORTHERN TECH HAS DIED

XF starts screaming and crying and rolling on the ground cuz WDYM THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE DIED?! XF is inconsolable, he's absolutely heartbroken about this news so he does the only thing he can.

He crashes the funeral, wearing black and covering his face with a black veil like he's a mourning wife whose husband just died. When he walks in and sees MBJ's coffin, he breaks down in tears. His loud sobs interrupts the priest's sermons and everyone turns to look at him as he walks down the aisle.

"My precious king!" XF wails loudly, getting closer to the coffin. "I never thought this day would come! How dare you leave the world like this! Do you know how heartbroken I am?! Mobei Jun I never told you that loved y-"

He looks down and he realizes that the person on the coffin is NOT HIS MBJ. The person who died was not MBJ Jr. It was MBJ Sr. His MBJ's dad. And he looks at the crowd in horror and spots MBJ at the front looking at him in horror and confusion and SQH bolts outta there as fast as he can.

MBJ who just wanted the funeral to be as peaceful as it can be is so confused when during the ceremony of his father's death, his dad's "secret mistress" shows up, does a whole show of being heartbroken about his death and then immediately leaves.

XF/SQH who has a crush on MBJ since College and he has a huge shrine of just MBJ's face, abs, his used things and even his baby photos that SY hustled for him.

And literally SQH is OBSESSED with him like super to the point where his extracurricular during college was just stalking MBJ. Because who wouldn't be obsessed?? MBJ is Hot, Rich and Super Emotionally Unavailable, that's literally SQH's Type!!!

A few years later, while already having graduated college, his love for MBJ is still as fiery and fierce as one can get. So when he reads the headline of a newspaper he's currently reading: MOBEI JUN, OWNER OF THE NORTHERN TECH HAS DIED

XF starts screaming and crying and rolling on the ground cuz WDYM THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE DIED?! XF is inconsolable, he's absolutely heartbroken about this news so he does the only thing he can.

He crashes the funeral, wearing black and covering his face with a black veil like he's a mourning wife whose husband just died. When he walks in and sees MBJ's coffin, he breaks down in tears. His loud sobs interrupts the priest's sermons and everyone turns to look at him as he walks down the aisle.

"My precious king!" XF wails loudly, getting closer to the coffin. "I never thought this day would come! How dare you leave the world like this! Do you know how heartbroken I am?! Mobei Jun I never told you that loved y-"

He looks down and he realizes that the person on the coffin is NOT HIS MBJ. The person who died was not MBJ Jr. It was MBJ Sr. His MBJ's dad. And he looks at the crowd in horror and spots MBJ at the front looking at him in horror and confusion and SQH bolts outta there as fast as he can.

MBJ who just wanted the funeral to be as peaceful as it can be is so confused when during the ceremony of his father's death, his dad's "secret mistress" shows up, does a whole show of being heartbroken about his death and then immediately leaves.

Shen Qingqiu: A seer, ay? Let's test that theory. Tell me, how will I die?

Shang Qinghua: You will die after years of torture, ripped limb by limb, and succumbing to death after learning about the fate of one you hold closest

Shen Qingqiu, nervous: I doubt a cheap fraud like you knows what he's talking about

~

Yue Qingyuan: You really upset my shidi. Are you sure the future you tell will become true?

Shang Qinghua: You will fail trying to save him for the second time, and it will cost both of you your lives

Yue Qingyuan, getting up: I- I need to go

~

Luo Bingge: Hmph! Is anyone capable of striking me down?

Shang Qinghua: You will gain everything you thought you wanted, and you will die miserable knowing it was never what you truly needed

Luo Bingge, stunned: ...

~

Mobei-Jun: So you're the seer. Tell me, how do I die?

Shang Qinghua: You won't

Mobei-Jun: What?

1. Is a polite young man

2. Who takes care of Airplane

3. Who takes in strays all the time and nurses them back to health because he's just so caring towards pitiful creatures

And who also:

1. Still bullies and argues with Airplane, just slightly lighter

2. Gets out multiple devices to go to war on the forums to protect his blorbo like a true blorbo apologist

3. Bullied his brothers in the group chat so hard they sent him money to get him to stop