Who Gives a Shit

“You excited, Y/N?” My roommate asks, walking out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

“Hm?” I shove a granola bar in my mouth as I google directions to the warehouse.

“For your internship, your first day dude”

“Oh” my roommate notices my nervousness and comes over to pat my back.

“You’ll do great man, I know you’ve been looking forward to this forever” I nod, “maybe you could show them the fanfic you’ve wr-“

“TAYLOR!” I throw on my backpack and spin around, “I’ll die before they find out about that”

She giggles and throws me my jackets that was on the bed.

“Y/N you have 30 minutes to get to the warehouse”

I check my phone and begin to panic as 9:30AM lights up on the screen.

“Have fun! Don’t worry too much!” Taylor yells as I run out the room.

“If I timed this right I would be 5 minutes early not 2” I mumble to myself, “maybe I’ll skip breakfast to save time”

It’s almost 10am, the time Brett told me to show up. If I hadn’t run I would’ve missed the bus and would’ve been late. I can’t be late on my first day, I’d have to quit immediately and never return.

After walking a few minutes from the bus stop I arrive at the feeble gate protecting the Cow Chop warehouse. Through the gaps I can see the familiar parking lot, filled with cars and set pieces that were destroyed; I wonder if I should’ve brought some bandaids.

“Y/N?” To my left I hear a crackle and see a small intercom.

“Y/N? Is that you?” I walk over and look into the tiny camera, awkwardly.

“Y-yeah! It’s Y/N, the new intern!” I stutter, trying my best to sound enthusiastic.

“Welcome to hell, kiddo”

The gate jolts open and I slowly walk inside, excited but terrified at the same time. Brett stands in the doorway, looking more muscular than in the videos but also less scary.

“Nice to meet you Y/N” He shakes my shaky hand with more force than I was expecting, “Thanks for being on time, fucking no one else takes this job seriously enough”.

I chuckle, unsure of what to say.

“Well we might as well get started” Brett holds the door as I walk inside, “I guess I can give you a tour and then we’ll talk about the other crap like rules and what not. Basically, point the camera at someone when they’re speaking and don’t burn the place down”

For the next 20 minutes or so, Brett gives me a tour of the warehouse; only 5 minutes involved showing me the office and the rest of the tour was sidetracked by Lindsey who wanted to meet me and wouldn’t stop talking.

“Here’s your desk” Brett walks over to one of the many plain black desks, “if you need anything, don’t ask me, I don’t edit shit”

He laughs to himself, “no, but really, ask Lindsey or Anna, they’re the most helpful here, obviously’

I set my stuff down and take a seat, getting ready for whatever they throw at me.

“Someone will come over and teach you about editing stuff, maybe Asher. I don’t know. Anyways, welcome again, you’ll do fine.”

As Brett walks away I glance around the office and see a handful of the Cow Chop crew: Anna, Lindsey, and James; I wasn’t surprised that Asher and Aleks were late. I spend the next hour watching the other trickle in and introduce themselves, although I already know who each of them are. Anna teaches me the Cow Chop style of editing and shares her expertise on what works for each video. Asher gives me some tips too but mainly jokes around, which helps alleviate some of my stress and take my mind off of my anxiety.

“Well look who finally decided to show up”

I look up from my desk and see Brett berating a tired Aleks.

“Maybe if you didn’t stream till 5am you’d show up on time and we could make videos for our fucking channel!” Aleks shrugs him off and goes to sit at his desk, but stops when he sees me.

“Who’s this?” Aleks looks at me confused, “Brett who’s this?”

“It’s Y/N, the new intern” Brett yells back, “Don’t you ever fucking pay attention?”

“I have ADHD Brett, don’t bully me”

Brett huffs and slams his office door behind him; I definitely won’t be asking him any questions anytime soon.

Aleks walks over to me and put his hand on my desk.

“So you’re the new intern,” he smirks, “I’m Aleks, but I assume you’re a fan because who would actually want to work here”

I smile back, feeling like I look like an idiot.

“If you need anything just let me know. I sit over there” He points to a desk a little in front of me, “I can’t really help with editing or anything but whatever”

Before he walks to his desk he squeezes me shoulder. I don’t know if that’s a softball coach squeeze or a guy having a crush on me squeeze. I try not to think about Aleks in a softball uniform and get to editing my first video.

I finally have time to eat my lunch after filming some content and editing the one video I was given. I still feel like a nervous wreck but now a more competent wreck. As I go through the video, cutting clips and adding effects, I eat my sad sandwich, which was a bit soggy because I made it the night before. Nevertheless, I continued eating it because I was too afraid to order anything to the warehouse; maybe in a few weeks I’ll have that confidence, or maybe never and I’ll just suffer.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you eating?”

I look up to see Aleks standing by his desk, a microwavable meal in one hand.

“Uh, it’s just a sandwich”

“That looks pretty shit,” Aleks says as I chuckle, “Do you want me to order you anything?”

“What? N-No, I’m fine, really”

“Well can I at least sit next to you while you edit so you don’t look so sad”

I look around to see if anyone else was here, but I guess everyone went out to lunch; I don’t know if I should be happy or nervous, maybe both.

“Yeah, sure”

Aleks pulls up a chair next to me and begins eating what seems to be leftover Chinese food.

“Oh I remember this” he says with his mouth full, “I was really bad at this game”

“Yeah” I giggle, “I can’t really see a way to edit it to make you look better”

“That’s my aesthetic though, terrible at games that aren’t FPSs”

I don’t say anything even though I know he’s lying; I’ve watched enough of his videos to know he’s not very good at any game.

As we eat we go through the video; I mark down parts to edit as Aleks suggests them. But after awhile we get distracted from the video and just…talk. It’s nice. For the first time in awhile I’m happy having a conversation with someone and I’m actually interested. I don’t know if it’s our mutual dislike of LA or that Aleks has pretty blonde hair and brown eyes that sparkle when he grins, but it’s nice.

“Y/N wait”

I stop laughing and freeze, worried I did something wrong, but Aleks leans over and brushes a strand of hair out of my face.

“Oh, thanks” I blush.

“No it’s, I-” Aleks stutters, “It was distracting. It’s just my ADHD, ya know.”

We sit in silence for a couple seconds, unsure of what to do.

“I, uh, I got to go do some work and stuff” Aleks mutters.

“Yeah, I should keep working on this video” I turn back to the monitor as Aleks stands up.

“We should do this again sometime, Y/N” Aleks puts his hand on my shoulder, “Welcome to Cow Chop, happy you’re here.”

Aleks eyes look soft, like his bleach blonde hair and his tired face. There’s a warmth to him, something that’s inviting and calming. I feel safe.