Hello Darling!

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

*sitting in my bedroom with nothing going on* HELP!!!! HELP ME!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME!!!!

no YOUR body is a temple. mine is the needle pit from saw 2

I don't think we as a society are ever gonna improve on vampires. they're a metaphor for the monarch class they're a metaphor for capitalism they're a metaphor for disease they're a metaphor for addiction they're a metaphor for trauma they're a metaphor for disability they're a metaphor for breaking from tradition they're a metaphor for a hot woman who bites your tit what CAN'T they do

Tan

shane and ryan are the funniest bitches alive for making a whole thing about buzzfeed unsolved ending, a dramatic end to an era, only to come back with their own legally distinct version of the show like a week later

the united states is cursed and i would betray this country for a cold glass of water but one thing i’ll never do is pass up an opportunity to make fun of british people